As I gaze upon my ocean of empties and my sea of liquor bottles, I have come to know just one thing is certain:

This may be due to the fact I spent the past couple weeks and now into this long weekend (and now my previously-booked vacation) watching the entire Trailer Park Boys series and movies all the way from the crudely sweet beginning, past the solid, Philadelphia Collins-esque middle, all the way to the somewhat painful horse-corpse flogging that seems to be taking up most of the “boys” time these days.

Nonetheless, it is a top-drawer fantastic show at least up to season four and perhaps all the way to season six. What more could a man want? I also discovered that I drink the same liquor that our fine Supervisor drinks on a regular basis – the nectar of the gods: 100% rye Alberta Premium. Winner of four straight Canadian Whisky of the Year awards given out by some other fella named Jim every year. I wholeheartedly agree, Mr. Murray.

Now that the filler done bin’ filled, it’s time for the culmination of weeks and weeks of vicious oil-soaked struggles and bra-strap snappings: The final of the Theoretical Women’s World Curling Championship! Hosted, as always, by you deep down in the lonesome recesses behind the last trap-door in your mind.

The Final: #1 Sweden vs. #2 Canada

The final two not a shocker by any means. But, I mean, if they want to try it out I’m available.

ahem… While Sweden took 79% of the vote in their win over Russia last week, Canada needed every vote to get past Scotland and Eve Muirhead, winning by a single tally.

The #1 ranked Swedes:

Looking at Sweden, they’ve got their star power, for sure:

And at least one one of the members is into putting pictures of herself on the internet. I even found ones I hadn’t already done for the first three rounds. Prolific!

Probably just so the international data cartel can get her features entered into their facial recognition software without too much trouble. Nice of her to think of them but I will not be complaining.

Fine form, there. The rest of the team are also in fine curling form only more focused on the curling rather than the form.

The #2 ranked Canadians:

A newer team, having just been created a year ago from four skips. A bold strategy that paid off for the Canadians, winning the Scotties and looking good going into the World Championships.

The team is led by their skip but their heart and soul is the third, Shannon Birchard. Surely not just a mere curler but something more like a goddess of the ice sent down to bless the ones fortunate enough to cast their eyes upon her delivery.

   

Of course, the action on the ice is equally important and the Canadians are coming in throwing some of their best rocks and sweeping like champions.

This is it, the big showdown. Both teams are top of the class and neither will be satisfied with anything but the win. The only question that remains?

Will it be Team Canada grabbing hold of Stu’s tankard?

Or will it be Team Sweden kissing the trophy?

Theoretical Women’s World Curling Championship