Your “It’s Not A Swamp If I’m In Charge” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes:

  • Showing absolute confidence in Le’Veon Bell, the Jets have signed Frank Gore to a one-year deal.
    GORE! GORE! GORE!
    • This is all part of coach Adam Gase’s plan for “load management” to “lighten the load” for Bell, who suffered last year because the Jets had an offensive line that forced Sam Darnold to run around like Russell Wilson despite his Tebow-like accuracy.
    • This will be Gore’s 16th season.
      • He currently stands third on the all-time rushing list (15,347 yards), third in rushing attempts (3,548), third in touches (4,016) and fourth in yards from scrimmage (19,243).
        • He is 1130 yards behind Walter Payton for 2nd all-time.
  • On the topic of veteran signings, rumours are that Beastmode might be back in Seattle for another dance in 2020.
    • The thinking is that the Seahawks need as much help as they can find, considering that they went through their entire depth chart between November 17 & December 15.
    • According to ESPN, based on Lynch’s time in the NFL, he would stand to make at least $1.05 million in base salary if he were to play in 2020.
  • Today’s attempt by Mike Florio to stir Green Bay’s shit comes from a discussion with Phil Simms’ semi-literate son about who could have intervened in the Jordan Love draft decision.
    • In an attempt to besmirch the entire Green Bay organization, he implies that having a single owner might have prevented the GM from making this ‘fateful decision’.
      • Completely ignoring the existence of Jerry Jones (flamboyant), Jimmy Haslam (crazy), Dan Snyder (terrible), and Mike Brown (cheap).

Finally, the NFL announced that the 2020 schedule will be released in a three-hour broadcast on the NFL Network this coming Thursday.

  • “Schedule Release ’20” will be a three-hour show breaking down the upcoming 2020 NFL regular season with analysis of the biggest games, how divisions are looking and the primetime showdowns.


The previous holder of the Green Bay QB position is in a small bit of trouble with the state of Mississippi today.

  • A state audit was released yesterday and it highlights, among other things, that Brett Favre was paid $1.1 million for speeches he never gave on behalf of the Mississippi Community Education Center.
    Remember the guy on the right.
    • Auditors said after reviewing dates and other details they determined Favre “did not speak nor was he present for those events.”
      • Favre doesn’t face any criminal charges related to the misappropriation of public funds.
      • He will likely have to have Favre Enterprises (not the Foundation) repay the money it received.
        • (I don’t want to get us sued.)
  • A total of $94 million in spending was “questioned” by state auditors, meaning the money was in all likelihood misspent or the auditors could not verify that it had been spent legally.
    • The money in question came from Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, a federal block grant that states have wide latitude to use to help lower income families, including through cash assistance for very poor families formerly known as the “welfare check.”
      • In 2017 the Mississippi Department of Human Services reportedly rejected 98.5 percent of welfare applicants the previous year.
      • The agency also reported leaving nearly $50 million in TANF funds unused.
    • Because it came from a federal grant from the Dept. of Health & Human Services, the FBI are also involved in the investigation.
  • Former Mississippi Department of Human Services Director John Davis is in jail awaiting trial on embezzlement charges, along with Nancy New, the leader of the Mississippi Community Education Center.
    • MCEC gave contracts to, and hired, family members of Davis, sometimes making lump sum payments. The payments and salaries to his nephew and brother-in-law totaled more than $1 million over the past several years, auditors said.
    • MCEC bought three cars with welfare money, each worth more than $50,000, for New and two sons. Salaries, cellphones and other expenses were paid using welfare money.
  • The News’, Davis and other state and nonprofit employees indicted in what investigators called a “sprawling conspiracy” face hundreds of years in prison.
Nancy New (left) and former Mississippi Department of Human Services Executive Director John Davis (third from left). Former Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant (second from right) & U.S. Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith (right)
  • Also indicted is Brett DiBiase, son of the “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase.
    • Davis was close to the DiBiase family; his agency awarded more than $2 million in grants to the “Heart of David Ministry” owned by the patriarch, Ted DiBiase Sr.
      • And that Davis and Ted DiBiase Jr. had gone into business together, developing a motivational training program called Law of 16 that they delivered to public agencies on the nonprofit’s dime.
        • Ted DiBiase Jr.’s companies Priceless Ventures LLC and Familiae Orientem received more than $3 million from the nonprofits between 2017 and 2019, but the audit does not show that Davis financially benefited.

i only wanted to link the Favre bit to Florio’s shit-stirring, but the more I read the more I wanted to dig. The whole affair just reeks of a loud, fat-cutting Republican getting put in charge & then just diverting the proceeds to himself and his colleagues at the expense of people who will never vote for him, or likely vote.


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • Korea Baseball Organization:
    • NC Dinos at Samsung Lions – 1:00AM | ESPN
  • Wrasslin’:
    • Best of WWE Wrestlemania – FS1
      • Edge – 8:00PM
      • Brock Lesnar – 9:00PM
      • Roman Reigns – 10:00PM

I’m sorry, but none of the regular TV options looks interesting, so I’m not listing anything else of interest. Please talk amongst yourselves.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck Brett Favre

Mr. Ayo

Overrated

–D. Favre

Mr. Ayo

Hard pass

–J. Sterger

Mr. Ayo

BTDT

–A.A. Ron

Brick Meathook

With a colonoscopy scope!

BC Dick

Man, Favre was a ton of fun to watch. An all time great. I don’t give two rats asses in a Mississippi slingboat if he sent some pictures or took some I’ll gotten money. That guy was a fucking great quarterback.
I don’t expect my sportsmen to be a bunch of choir boys just like I don’t expect my garbage man to be one. Give me what I want.

Cuntler

Peter King, everybody!

Brick Meathook
Viva La Tabula Raza

All clever repartee aside, everyone here does realize that this is eventually going to be the end of western society, right? I’m growing out my mohawk and doing the self-inflicted prison tattoos on my face so I can look a little more intimidating when the feral Cub Scout troops come marauding through the neighborhood looking to steal my deli-sliced ham and stockpile of lower-shelf liquor. It won’t matter, but I will save the last three of my 150 rounds of .45 ACP that I will be launching out of my Model 70 1911 Colt for my dogs and myself.comment image

BC Dick

Nah. Things ain’t that bad. We’re a stronger people than that. The west and elsewhere will get it figured.

ballsofsteelandfury

Exactly

Brick Meathook

I plan to prosper from this. My webcam game is now Oscar level.

#hopingforzoomchat

Brick Meathook

Now I’ve just been informed that my videochat audio game is shit (crackly) despite using a throat mic that sounds great on the iPhone. Set up a studio condenser mic through a preamp and it still sounds crackly. Houston, we have a problem.

Brick Meathook

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sonofabitch!!!!! I have five notifications from facebook. Hopefully it’s only people doing stupid shit and I won’t get caught up in a conversation with some asshole who can’t deal with their own shit. One of whom is an ex GF from HS who ended up marrying a dickhead. She knows he is cheating on her and told me so about year or so, give or take. Then backed off and said “well maybe I was wrong”. Granted they have teenage kids, so I get the hesitation. But don’t put up with that shit. And if you decide to put up with it, don’t dump it in my lap. Anywhooooo…

Let’s find out, shall we?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqxns-JTTqA

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thank goodness. Just stupid people posting stupid shit. No getting pulled into the fracas.

Brick Meathook

I was taking pictures of slide rules tonight and I’m looking at your father’s E-6B right now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, don’t I wish. Sadly all we ever had was a very used Piper Cub… Thought the wings were gonna fall off. And then the one I learneded to fly in, the Piper Cherokee PA-28. Which holy shit is apparently still in service. Wow.

You call into the tower enough, you never forget that number. N7630Juliet, baby.
https://flightaware.com/resources/registration/N7630J

BC Dick

Why subscribe to a service that fills you with dread and terror when it alerts you it is working as intended?

Dunstan

The 70s were the peak of pop songs by dudes who were making no bones about how they didn’t want a commitment, but they were still gonna sing about you. John Denver sang about how sad he was to be “Leaving On a Jet Plane” even though there were “so many times I’ve fooled around/so many times I’ve let you down.” Gordon Lightfoot sang that “I’m not saying that I love you/I’m not sayin’ that I care if you love me…” And these guys were pretty upfront that they’re not talking about movin’ in:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eaTWifA2b8

Brick Meathook

Many years ago I went to a yard sale in Silver Lake and bought two canvas deck chairs from Gordon Lightfoot’s ex-girlfriend.

#brushwithgreatness

Dunstan

I’ve seen him live four or five times, all in the last ten years. Once in the front row. He doesn’t have the range he used to, but he’s still an enormous talent and so underrated.

BC Dick

It is 1980 but I think it fits your idea. Bob Seger. Loneliest man I’ve ever heard. Ahh I guess this is about never feeling any true connection. Sod it, I just love the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJXx76Ys2C0

Dunstan

Seger has such a deep catalogue. Every time I’ve seen him in concert, someone in the group always gripes “fuck, he didn’t play [name of song]” and… yeah, that would have been awesome. But his shows are always great even with those omissions.

Senor Weaselo

Have we heard from (I believe) teh Hippo regarding Spawn of Grimes (not Grimey) and their name?

Dunstan

One thing that working from home has changed: I now allow myself one hungover workday per week.

Tag, Wednesday — you’re it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve found that the only difference between workdays and weekends is that on Saturday and Sunday I don’t have to wait until mid-afternoon before I start drinking.

Brick Meathook

Do you know why Joe DiMaggio was far superior to modern athletes with their high-tech fitness regimens?

Because DiMaggio had the HOF career he had while chain smoking cigarettes during games.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Also nailed Marilyn Monroe. How many modern athletes can say that?

Dunstan

Well, assuming you count wrestlers as athletes, The Undertaker gave it a try, but it’s kind of a gross story.

BC Dick

Fuck me. I’ve been trying to find a picture that would show up here and I was going to say, and how about Jayne Mansfield! Which might not even make sense or be be any good but piss on the whole endeavour. I don’t know how Moose finds all this stuff but I can’t even get a goddamn picture to work. Fuck it! First the birds and then I spilled my whisky and now this. I’m through.

Viva La Tabula Raza

My first thought. But she also banged Arthur Miller. So maybe she was after brains or brawn rather than pure sex appeal. Miller was a pretty bright guy, after all.
Also, DiMaggio banged Mr Coffee.

Dunstan

Maybe she was going after Alma’s record. As explained by the great Tom Lehrer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL6KgbrGSKQ

Viva La Tabula Raza

I really appreciate this post. When I was a child, my dad had (and still has, for all I know), all of Tom Lehrer’s albums. I attribute my oddball sense of humoUr to Tom Lehrer, Bob and Ray, Mad Magazine, and the National Lampoon. Vaughan Meader, too, to a certain degree. I can still sing all of Lehrer’s lyrics verbatim without a prompt.

Dunstan

I love Tom Lehrer. I was introduced to him by a guy who played the college bars and did “The Masochism Tango” and “Poisoning Pigeons In the Park.” Then a friend got me a copy of “An Evening Wasted With…” and I was sold.

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Amateur”

– Mickey Mantle

BC Dick

A natural athlete and a smooth motherfucker.