There are definitely people here who knew Seamus better than I did. People who knew him in real life for instance. One of my big regrets in life, other than law school, is not having attended any DFOCons, where I would have met tWBS, as I understand he never missed any. No, I only “knew” Seamus through this site, through what each of us wrote, (he far more than me), through our comments, and through the occasional DMs about various pet ailments. He was not a family member, and he wasn’t a friend in the sense that the guys I survived Catholic grade school are, or the guys who stood up at my wedding are, or the various people that I’ve provided alibis for are, (really, what’s the big deal about “attempted” anything? Call me when they succeed; until then, I’ll just slap them straight), but goddammit, he was, no IS, a friend.
Seamus was a funny guy. He had opinions that could piss people off, and if I’m being honest on more than one occasion he wrote things that had me rolling my eyes so hard I fell over. On other occasions he would write things that were laugh out loud funny, or he would make a comment that let you know that he cared. Didn’t matter if he’d met you or not: he knew you from your writing on this site and he had your back. I remember one instance where I had said something about somone and Seamus responded instantly that if I was at all concerned he would take care of it. As it happened I wasn’t concerned but I had not doubt then, or now, that if I had DM’d him and said that I was concerned the issue would have been taken care of and I would have been reaching yet again into my well-traveled bag of alibis for another friend.
Seamus, for those of you who don’t know, had worked as a veterinarian. I was never really clear if he still was, but it was clear that the man knew his stuff. On more than one occasion I reached out to him for advice: “Why is my dog throwing up? Why can my cat lick its ass and I can’t? Why are my fish floating upside down?” and he always answered, and he never suggested that maybe I should stop getting pets, or at least read a goddamn book. One time, and this is 100% true, I reached out to him when the dog my daughter was sitting for up and died. He didn’t get back to me until the next day and apologized profusely, and I have no doubt sincerely, for not having responded immediately. The dog died on Christmas, and Seamus still genuinely felt bad that he didn’t get back to me ASAP, because that’s the kind of guy he was.
You folks only know me through my writing here, (the two of you who have met me in IRL should just shut up, don’t ruin it for everyone else), as I only knew Seamus through his. I do think, however, (as I am contractually obligated to as a a liberal arts major), that you can know someone very well through their writings, and it is on the basis on Seamus’s writings that I am proud to have known him, and proud to call him my friend.
Farewell Seamus. I wish for you that the Orioles will win the World Series next year, that UNC will lose all their games for the next 5 seasons, and, stealing a line from Stephen King, that I will meet you in the clearing in the forest where my path ends. Vaya con Dios, mi amigo.
-Horatio-
[…] Him reaching out at folks that were having problems was characteristic. If you asked tWBS for help, you got it. And I don’t know if tWBS coined “The Karen Carpenter”, but he certainly was its most […]
[…] to enjoy or develop a deep grudge about. His good qualities have been duly covered in dynamite testimonials the week tWBS died, culminating with a COTW, Request Line and a Sexy Friday for the ages. tWBS […]
Nicely put, even though you told me to shut up
Very well done. Cheers mate.
/dick joke
//dick joke forever
Well written remembrance. I have been a lurker since 2008 KSK, an infrequent kommentist since about 2015 and a sometimes participant in AFL pools. This is the only site I would ever think about reading the comments on a regular basis, and the writing is often laugh/cry out loud good. I’ve never met any of you in real life, although I think I would like to if I get the chance.
tWBS had a style of written communication that never failed to draw me in. I will miss reading what he was thinking about and the stories he would tell of domestic tranquility and the opposite. I appreciate hearing from those who knew him better than I and who can put that all into words.
Same man.
Having been one of the two people from this here site that have met Horatio, I can assure you he is charming and handsome enough to have convinced many people to provide false alibis for, and I’m suddenly realizing that I’ve said too much and gotta go.
And LCSS was never seen again…
+2 femur drums in the distance
Wonderful. I loved this.
And I agree on the friends thing. Acts, interest in how you holding up, mutual respect…. That’s the stuff of friendship, not seeing persons regularly. Three months of lockdown kinda feels instructive on that front.
Why can my cat lick its ass and I can’t?
Do you want to lick your cat’s ass, or are you upset you can’t lick your own ass? It’s a real, “Let’s eat Grandma” vs. “Let’s eat, Grandma” situation.
Anyway, well said.
What about making the cat lick your own ass?
That scratchy tongue might prove less-than-stimulating.
Wait, so that brings up a whole other set of questions. Does that mean cats have assholes that require scratching? Is that why they show them to us constantly? Is this a 25 Questions post in the making?
Or the scratchy tongue could be the best thing ever.
I don’t see why I have to choose: this isn’t an “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” choose-you-own adventure.
I saw that line, and then immediately realized that someone would have beaten me to this joke already. I’m glad to see my faith vindicated.
First thing I thought, too. “Someone’s already beat me to that softball.”
Beautiful.
This probably should have gone under DonT’s thread, but I feel the need to share…
This doesn’t have to do directly with Seamus, but more about this site in general, which he had a huge part in molding the general atmosphere.
Threeish years ago, I was in a really deep dark hellish place. I was feeling like shit and drinking way too much, in a piss poor attempt to cope with it. Long story short, it didn’t do any good and I wound up checking myself into a psych ward. While I was there I was speaking to therapists of various kinds regularly. I casually mentioned things like the meetups in response to a question about avoiding socially isolating myself.
Everyone who I mentioned this to was aghast at the idea of meeting up with strangers from the interwebs. At that time, the tone of this site was shall we say a little rougher. I won’t mention names, but the long time readers can certainly guess who I mean. But, I didn’t feel like you guys/gals were strangers. I’d never met any of you, but I did feel like I had a place that I could participate, talk to people, bounce ideas around, etc.
Anyway, after some more treatment of assorted kinds, I was back out in the world and trying to figure out how I was going to live my life, what I wanted to do with myself that sort of thing. In late April of that year, I saw a mention of people who were going to attend the Brooklyn Hot Sauce expo. I wanted to be out to met other people to do something in the real world that I hadn’t done before, but I wasn’t sure.
I ended up going after an agonizing debate with myself. I hate meeting new people and social situations in general. If I am party, the first thing I look for is the dog. I know they won’t judge me, but I assume everyone else will, and harshly. I met this guy in a yellow stripey shirt with an unnatural affinity for capsaicin. He was kind and funny and included me in his day at his happy place. I’ve never really said how much that affected me, in part because I don’t think I really knew until reading about DFOCON on DonT’s eulogy of Seamus.
This place of internet stranger perverts really means something to me. I don’t participate as much as I would like, but that is a different story.
I just want to say thank you to all of you, and especially to Seamus for making this place kind, caring, perverted, and funny as fucking hell.
An in keeping with the more general tenor of this site, and my taste in women. Here is Keira Knightley in Domino.
“I love you too, man.”
–Ryan Leaf, walking just past you to hug his bong
I’m completely okay with this opinion and subscribe to it.
That’s awesome! I’m so glad this little site has meant that to you!!
“I met this guy in a yellow stripey shirt with an unnatural affinity for capsaicin.”
Charlie Brown?
I thought it was curious George’s friend
I 1000000% percent get you here. This is the only site i comment on, and it feels like home to me. And whilst I’ve only met one in person from here*, it does feel like i’m around long time friends here. What this has become and the community here is second to none IMHO.
*My family was *sure* that i was going to be killed.
Glad you’re here amongst like folk. I too love this place and what we’ve built
I guess the yellow shirt guy is someone I like to call The Dream Son-In-Law.*
And you’re absolutely right about Seamus generating a lot of the good will in this community. Which is funny, because he could get bellicose ???. We’ll continue throwing love TWBS’s way, because he gave so much.
And yea, I too feel as comfortable here in this community as I’m gonna feel anywhere in the world.
* Provided his parents waive the dowry.
Hide your daughters… also because Senorita Weaselo probably isn’t letting me go without a fight.
It’s funny, because in a roundabout way the old KSK author Sarah Sprague deserves credit for DFO meetups being an actual thing. She was the first one who got a bunch of us to venture out in the real world to meet each other and realize that it’s not such a scary thing.
I’m surprised that so many people (or at least, their friends and family) are still weirded out by the idea of meeting people from the internet. I thought that in the age of internet dating and meetups and such people had gotten past those ideas.
I still remember explaining to people back in ’96 that I got my summer job because of someone I started talking to on the internet. I think they all assumed it was something sexual. And to be fair, I was not and am not above sleeping my way to the top*, it’s just the lack of offers that stops me.
*or the middle, to be more realistic
Heck, even if you are going to end up on the bottom, it’s more fun to sleep your way there than to get there any other way.
Shit, dude. I didn’t realize exactly where you were with things, though I do remember you mentioned you were no longer drinking. Glad to have helped in my own way, and hoping you’re well.
I understand 1000%. Right there with you. I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve, etc. Seamus always had a kind word even without really knowing me, and I’m sadder now for having missed an opportunity to ever meet him. I am what I am, and I’ll probably never meet any of you, but I probably should.
That’ll be enough outta you, Baggins. Now hand over the Precious.
*Seamus and I
Dude.
Wow. Very well done. Your client might be pissed that you wrote this during your expert deposition, though.
Horatio: Are you board certified?
Expert: Uh…
Horatio: You’re not.
“Expert”: No. But there’s a grandfather clause—
Horario: We’re done. Please validate my parking.
I had one of those a couple of months ago. Turned out that not only was the expert not board certified they had failed two attempts to become certified.
I did not get my parking validated.