Dead Sexy Friday: A tWBS Tribute

As you all know from Don T’s Wednesday post, the man we all knew as tWBS passed away on Monday. FWIW, as he would write, it seems he passed away in his sleep without suffering. So, that’s something.

Many of us got to know him in real life and we’re lucky to call him a friend. Others were able to communicate with him via text or phone or email and got to know him as more than just a drinking toddler.

We thought we would use today’s post as an opportunity to share our thoughts with you and pay tribute to the one and only tWBS.

Each will say some words and add a pic.

***

Balls

I wrote last Friday’s post as a kind of premature goodbye. I had communicated with tWBS via email and he confided in me that he thought something was seriously wrong with his health.

I hoped for the best but mentally prepared myself for the worst. Hence my post and the words I wrote about him. I wanted him to read it before anything happened. I’m just glad he did and he understood how much his friendship meant to me.

I will miss him but I choose to only remember him fondly. I’ll make inappropriate jokes that I know he’ll be laughing at, wherever he is.

Here’s your picture, buddy!

***

Senor

I regret the fact that I never met tWBS in meatspace, just here. Out of all you fine miscreants, he was the one I wanted to shoot the shit with the most (sorry, those of you I’ve actually met), in the eternal plans for the East Coast DFOCon.

We bonded through our mutual romantic failings, as I vented about them both on-site and in the writers’ backroom, as he later did. And he, along with my real-life friends, was crucial in softening the blow that that ordeal caused. Throughout our time we’d vent about the failings, or aftermaths, and he reminded me that the friends who were there for me were friends worth holding onto. (And also trying to hook me up with one of them before Senorita Weaselo entered the picture.) In time we’d also needle each other on sports teams, especially him with my Rangers and me with his O’s. And when he grew peppers, he asked for my address and sent me a box, with an extremely sweet letter wishing me the best. And promising the next year he was going to make me suffer even more—after ghost and ghor-pions (yes, it’s a cross between ghost and scorpion), he was planning on growing Reapers this year. I’ve slacked off on writing about this past fall’s shipment, but that post is coming up shortly, because now it has to.

His nephew posted in the backroom on his behalf, asking for us to email him. And so I ended up becoming the unfortunate one to break the news to everybody. My heart goes out to his mom, who on all his accounts sounds like a lovely lady who now has to bury her son. And to his niece he constantly mentioned and practically raised, even if she could be a pain in the ass, as teenage girls can be. And to his nephew who broke the news, and the rest of his family. And Dave, who’s faced with the reality of a new owner who’ll probably have no idea about his sentience.

Thank you, buddy. For everything. For keeping me sane. And keeping me insane. I’m gonna miss you.

Also sperm. (/Pedro Pascal as Walton Goggins cracks repeatedly.)

***

Low Commander

For someone who lived on the other side of the country, I sure did see a lot of TWBS. He’s crashed on my couch, we’ve traveled, gone, uh, camping together (100% accurately depicted here), cruised the bars, and had some of the best tasting meals together. As a man that has gone through so much hardship and heartbreak, he sure knew how to have a great time, and whether it was a cheap shot, loudly quoted Archer reference, sounding out each letter in his abreviated name here (Tee-Double-U-Bee-Ess) or the occasional something profound, he had a knack for making everyone around him laugh.  The plain fact was that he was a selfless pleaser; he’d break a bone doing something for you just to see you smile. He didn’t have to come back from the bathroom at the Mandalay Bay and tell us the ASS HERPES tale, much less post on the site about it, but he sure as shit did, because that’s just who he was.

Of course, this selflessness would get him into trouble, which also came with a refusal to give up. There have been plenty of times when talking about ways to run this site where he would outright refuse to go along with what we decided, because he didn’t think it was the right thing. Did it piss me off? Sure, but it was so harmless. If there was a way to measure TWBS good intentions, you’d be able to see it from space. And it shows by how many damn posts he made on this site. Whenever there was a gap to fill (phasing) he jumped into it without a second thought. You almost couldn’t keep him away from helping at every turn.

My fondest memory of TWBS was a day that just the two of us spent together in my neck of the woods, maybe a year or two ago. Before coming to visit me, he had driven down to Jack Murphy Stadium following the HERETICS departure, just because he wanted to see it with his own eyes once. When he showed up at my ziggurat and I made fun of him for it, he joked that he went right up the a security guard on the grounds and demanded “I’M HERE TO SEE DEAN!” I took him on a coastal tour of my area, blasting Me First and the Gimme Gimmes the whole time, stopping at two breweries, walking the coast, joking with him about the good looking girls in the area he’d disappoint. Our last stop was my favorite taco shop, where he couldn’t stop talking about the fish tacos I can’t stop talking about in general. Afterwards, we just hung out on my balcony, smoked a joint or two and watched classic Simpsons on the couch. It was a simple day, but one of my favorites, and I really expected to get to enjoy more many of them with him.

Love ya’s, man. Love ya’s forever.

***

yeah right

 

Like Low Commander, I had the pleasure of spending many, many days and hours with the Wee One. Our Vegas adventures were as legendary as they were unholy and unspeakable. Low Commander, Seamus and I were always a team on these trips and usually had hotel rooms on the same floor. They steered me back to my room to make sure I got home safe more than once.

Seamus was always up for the adventure and had a constitution that was incredible. He visited my home a few times and we quaffed more than our fair share of beers together.

Seamus was never without a smile. Seriously. He also had this unmistakable “Southern drawl” that sounded like a cross between Bradley Cooper in “A Star is Born” and Sam Elliot in “Tombstone.” But holy shit did that drawl work magic with the ladies. Seamus had uncanny success with women.

I’ve hugged the man more times than I can count and we’ve even shared a few tears together. The last time I saw him on the Hollywood Subway Pub Crawl he said the next time he came to LA would be to move here.

If only.

But holy Jesus did his musical tastes suck.

Love you my brother. Will miss you dearly. 

***

litre_cola

We lost a brother. A true good man who galvanized us all in our clubhouse after KSK went down. I have been all over the place the last few days wondering how someone I have never been face to face with could hold such a place in my day to day. 

I’m still shell-shocked on how someone I have never met could have such an effect on my life. Whenever I had a question about the late Oxipug he would answer in depth and in layman’s terms. He actually took the time to look up how Canadian veterinarians did things so I had more knowledge. When he wanted to perhaps buy a restaurant a couple (?) years back we chatted about everything that goes in to owning a restaurant. He was a real brother. 

Twbs would have given you the shirt off his back, sweaty, but he would have given it to you nonetheless. I intended to attend a DFO con in California, money was tight and this man who I had never met in person offered to share his rental unit with me. I fully intended to take him up on the offer and couldn’t due to other unforeseen circumstances. We always promised we would get really high at a DFO con and now it won’t happen. 

Just last week we were emailing back and forth concerning a fiction series I had started with him as the protagonist. We had him and Dave moving up to BC to retire at BC Dick and my pug farm. I can’t believe he is gone. 

The “TWBS” in the futbol corner of our clubhouse will be 1-0, as 0-0 is boring for everyone but 1-0 for the futbol freaks could be a magical game, not for him.

The Orioles no matter their record will have the AL East right where they want them. 

Miss you already bud, so I tried to put my words together and throw this up in remembrance – K Carpenter.

***

The Maestro

What else is there to say, really? I know that I haven’t had the chance to meet many of our writers and Commentists on this here website, largely in part due to my geographic isolation. I can tell you, however that from every interaction I’ve ever had with tWBS is that the man was a true friend to all of us – and he showed it every day. He took the time to send me some Carolina Reaper chili pepper seeds all the way from North Carolina through to Ontario so that I could get the chance to grow some for myself. It took months for them to arrive, but he checked in regularly to see if I’d received them yet. When they finally made it, he was genuinely delighted. I look forward to getting the chance to plant them in order to honoUr his memory. It’s the least I can do, really.

With the world currently existing in “uncertain times”, as so many goddamn spam emails are putting it, I don’t know the next time I’m going to get to venture south. But I do know that I’ve wanted to get back to NC for a while, to visit my cousins in Fayetteville. I know I’ll be thinking a lot about Seamus the next little while – perhaps a side trip to his neck of the woods might bring some closure. 

Lastly, I know it’s not the Offspring or Green Day, but I heard this song for the first time yesterday, by Canadian songwriting duo Gunning + Cormier, just before we heard the news. Curious timing, to say the least, but I almost feel like it was a sign, or something. I don’t know. Having listened to it numerous other times since then, I think the messaging is exactly on point for what tWBS was to us and our community. I hope you can stomach the cheesiness of it, big guy. Love ya. 

***

Beerguyrob

He kept threatening to kidnap my dogs. COVID was a blessing, because it’s hard to convince border guards you are serious that a guy from North Carolina who goes by Seamus & calls his truck Dave is coming north to try & steal my precious antique cans little monsters. But the mandatory closure to all non-essential travel meant he was never able to succeed in his mission.

He also loved the outdoors, and chats with him involved discussing the simple beauty nature can provide. In his memory, I give you Cleveland Dam and Riga & Lambeau posing beneath it.

It’s a beautiful enough place that he’d ask me a billion questions about it, and possibly isolated enough that he’d wonder how Scotchy would get rid of a body in such surroundings, so he could then leave with my dogs.

***

BrettFavresColonoscopy

tWBS was a good blogger, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved animals and the Orioles… and posting pictures of scantily clad women, and as a wayward North Carolinian with wanderlust he and Dave explored the beaches and women of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and… up to… Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would tWBS. tWBS, who loved Sexy Friday. And so, the Wee Baby Seamus, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean and/or Sexy Friday, which you loved so well.
Good night, sweet prince.

I, like more than a few other DFOers, got to know tWBS on the site, slack, online poker rooms, and email before meeting him in person in Brick Meathook’s backyard.  In all of those interactions, tWBS wore his heart on his sleeve.  And it was a big heart.  He let it lead him where perhaps his head should have reined him in, but from Venice to Tampa, tWBS was sure as fuck going to follow his heart.  Others knew him better than I did, but we can all agree that he is gone too soon, and I know I’m not the only one that heard the news and immediately thought, “da fuq?”

***

King Hippo

As a local North Cakalaky-an, I surely should have invested more time hanging with tWBS live.  Spoiler Alert – I am even worse at maintaining fo’ reelz friendships than I am imaginary ones.

Still, I very much enjoyed our occasional beerfest/yell at NC State on the teevee meetups.  And of course, the time spent at the terrible (yet somehow still classy) airport nudie bar.  As you may recall, said visit was the result of my lost #ShameBet with Balls over RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! (though I got even the following season).  Neither of us went to jail or wound up married to a crackhead in Vegas, so it was a successful venture.

I will admit there were times when he was having one of his many short-lived “beefs” that I worried I had made a mistake bringing him into our Clubhouse.  Rest assured that reading these tributes this week, I am appropriately ashamed.  He was willing to reach out, and put himself on the firing line.  You know, the kind of stuff that a social ret…Special Young Man like myself could never even dream to attempt.  Kind of heart, willing to put others before himself.  We could all strive to be a little more like tWBS.  Insert baby drinking martini (as we all know, a martini is just a shittily made gin and tonic).

Sorry to be medium heavy, I offer amends in the form of the perfect love scene from Mulholland Drive (NSFW warning, brief nipplage):

P.S. – The Avett Brothers still suck, go ahead HAUNT ME!!

***

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“There he goes. One of God’s own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

The Wee Baby Seamus was an asshole. A first-class who-the-hell-does-this-guy-think-he-is pain in the ass. Full-tilt. He’d tell you so himself.

He was also one of the kindest souls I think I’ve ever met. The man had a drive toward goodness and generosity that put me to shame on more than one occasion. Most of the time I was exasperated with him, it was because his noble impulses were compelling him to do something unutterably  stupid.  He would run through a wall if he thought it would help you out, even if you told him not to.

Especially if you told him not to.

I don’t believe in making the dead sound like saints and ignoring their faults when doing something like this. It diminishes who they were, as if the “real” person wasn’t good enough. Seamus doesn’t need that.

Seamus’ generosity and need to believe the best about people is all the more impressive BECAUSE he was a cynical jerk. It shows his strength of character- to know that people will almost certainly let you down but to keep putting yourself out there for them. Remarkable doesn’t begin to cover it.

There are too many stories to share here, both for length and because the statute of limitations hasn’t run. Suffice it to say, I’m going to miss him. Because he was caring. Because he was a complete tool. Because he was my friend. For him, two pictures- a sad widow and a Merry Widow.

 

Sharkbait

While I never met Seamus in person, I felt like we became great friends here. His posts were always great reads, and seeing him in the comments was always a welcome sight, no matter what he had to say.

He was a very generous person. Both in real life, and at the poker table with his chips.Seriously though, the man was a genuine soul, and did his best to help out others by listening when needed, and offering advice if asked. Offline, he also did his best to make this crazy world a better place. Go read his Wednesday motivational posts for examples of his selflessness. It’ll be damn near impossible to fill the void he left here.

We miss you already Seamus.

***

Brocky

Eulogies and memorial services are weird when you think about it. You are presumably surrounded by a group of people who all presumably knew the deceased. We try to balance the good memories with the uplifting ones. Certain people might know certain aspects to their life yadda yadda, it’s never easy.

I’ve really struggled with what I want to say here, and after brainstorming for a few hours, it hit me: I’ve never lost someone I was this close to while never meeting them in person.

TheWeeBabySheamus (or TWBS as many of us called him) wasn’t just an acquaintance. He wasn’t an “internet friend” like we played the same MMORPG or something. He wasn’t a coworker whom we involuntarily spent hours around each other eventually finding some commonality.

TWBS was my friend. Thats a phrase that’s oft repeated but I feel like its lost some meaning, seems like a lot of folks conflate acquaintance with actual friendship. An acquaintance is someone you know, somebody that, if you know is facing difficulty, you wish the best for because you can practice basic human empathy. (then again I can’t speak for the other freaks on this site, (sorry guys, just had to throw that joke in there to keep the mood light.)

Mark was my friend because of the person he was, and that showed through his contributions to this site. He took time out of his day to make our days better, our NFL games less boring, and to make our fridays more sexy.He had a big heart that was interested in any subject. I apparently reintroduced him into the novelty that is pro wrestling, he made playful snide remarks about the apparent dozens of hour long TV dramas that now dominate the airwaves, but it was all in good fun.

He didn’t stick around for just the laughs either. He was quick to counsel me when my dog passed away a few years ago. He somehow knew immediately of the guilt I was feeling, of the helplessness that I could have done more to present it. He was there a million times more effective than any grief counselor could ever hope to be.

By all accounts, TWBS acted this way with everyone. I can’t imagine the grief that is felt by everyone he knew.. I truly feel sorry for his family, and all our other members here. In conclusion, I’d like to finish my thought from earlier. A friend isn’t an acquaintance, a friend is family you choose to share your life with. We’re a family here, and families stick together. When we migrated from the old site, a lot of old faces came out of the woodwork to say their farewells. I saw something similar on the open thread the other day. Its reassuring. Goodbye my friend.

That all sounds great, but we all know why we’re here, but I think I could use a little help. You ready Alex?

Yep there you are girl. You want to remind the folks about how the whole love triangle between you, TWBS and myself started?

Ah there we go. TWBS was one of the first to learn of my affinity for gloved women. And On Wrestlemania weekend I supplied some gifs of the lovely Alexa Bliss.

I don’t have a segue for this, so just enjoy the remaining GIFs

Goodbye my friend, and in conclusion, I’ll leave with the same quote final quote as when we left the old site:

“Happy trails to you, untill we meet again”

“The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes

***

WCS

I don’t remember exactly when Seamus and I really started crossing paths, but, I know it was on #UpForWhateverville. I recognized that he and Hippo had one hell of rapport, and since I’d known Hippo on there for a while, Seamus must’ve been good people. I wasn’t wrong. He and I hit it off almost immediately, with our mutual love for football and golf, equal loathing for Roger Goodell, the NBA, Dook… well, a lot of things.

He was always funny; the man turned a phrase better than a lot of others. We talked on the phone probably twice a month for at least five years. It usually contained my late-night drunken ramblings he was always happy to put up with  listen to, on any number of categories. Two that stand out are the time I managed to rattle off every winner of a men’s major championship golf tournament since 2007 (NERD!), and the other was after I had to help a very disheveled, drunken girl find her way back to her apartment after she tried to enter mine. 

He and I finally got to meet in person last May in the DC Metro area, where my wife was attending a conference. I can’t remember if he drove from NC, or was already in Baltimore, but, he said that if I’m going to be in the area, we’re definitely meeting up for drinks, food, and sprots. That’s precisely what happened for two days at the Gaylord (giggity) Resort and Hotel. While wifey sat in meetings, we spent far too much money on overpriced bar food and drinks, watching the PGA Championship, and whatever baseball games happened to be on. He even introduced me to Dave! We promised to do it again, whenever the opportunity allowed. 

He’d love to Skype with my kids, which we did probably a half-dozen times. He was just that warm and genuine kind of person. He even created a Sexy Friday theme week specifically for me. That’s classy. Keep his mom and family in your prayers He really did love her, and went out of his way to take the best care he could. 

See you on other side, buddy. Rest easy,

WCS

P.S. Your taste in music really was awful.

***

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Most of what I’ve been able to articulate came out in today’s Request Line. But I want to reiterate how remarkable tWBS’ fearlessness was to me, a person who uses diplomacy as a cover for cowardice.  tWBS was never afraid to speak his mind, and I think the only time I ever saw him afraid of anything was his concern for the welfare of others.  I’ve never seen anyone else be so generous with second chances, and anyone that ever tried to burn a bridge with him and turned away from the water was going to find him showing up on their side, soaking wet, within the hour.  I’m supposed to post a picture here, so I wanted to add one more piece to his legacy: The (not so) Wee Lady Siobhan.  

One last thing: tWBS’s mother has requested in lieu of flowers or anything of the sort to instead consider donating to the Durham Rescue Mission, which was something he was contributing to himself for quite a while. 

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He did love his PB

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Added one song to request line and am quite proud of myself

litre_cola

You completely nailed it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

If you spill lemon vodka and soda on your couch it’s like cleaning right?

Horatio Cornblower

Just use the child to mop it up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just made myself a gin martini and put blueberries in it because fuck olives.

Let’s get weird.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

I’m going with one of my old favorites. I can drink it straight, but it’s got enough flavor to compensate
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Horatio Cornblower

Pretty sure that’s what ended the Incan Empire, actually.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The blueberries?

Horatio Cornblower

Maybe? But I was referencing Brocky’s error.

Brocky

Error? Having too much flavor? Damn Ican’s resorting to cannibalism

Horatio Cornblower

You went in and fixed it you damned swine! Shall we say pistols at dawn? My second shall call on you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I would not have guessed Monkeys fans. But if so it was probably the loudest concert they have ever been to.

Brocky

I went back and found this interaction between sheamus and myself.

This was from early January where IU, my alma matter was playing in its first major bowl game in almost 30 years.

Gonna miss these moments
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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litre_cola

Poker table is open

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In the rear.

Horatio Cornblower

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan
Dunstan

I love Katy Tur more than is healthy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

She’s adorable and tiny

Brocky

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Horatio Cornblower

Dave Grohl eulogizing Lemmy “Going to the Rainbow and ordering two Jack and Cokes and the waitress brings two Jack and Cokes and his fucking mail!”

jjfozz

Fucking Lemmy.

Horatio Cornblower

One of the best, and the second-loudest* concert I’ve ever seen was Motorhead and a shitty Hartford site called The Webster. Lemmy walks out, says ‘We’re Motorhead. We play rock n’ roll” and just fucking launches into it.

*loudest was Nashville Pussy and the late, lamented El’ N’ Gee in New London. No joke, took me three days to get my hearing back and resulted in one of my wife’s greatest lines ever when, sitting on a bar stool well away from the band said “Who needs a vibrator when you’ve got rock n’ roll”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of my favorite bits about the show where both Horatio and tWBS got their avatars from is how tinnitus is a legitimate condition that many of the characters have.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Please answer your fucking phone.

Horatio Cornblower

I have tinnitus in one of my ears and it’s not funny at all.
/It actually is

litre_cola

This is amazing. He had to take the time to say fuck it, I am putting in an address change.

litre_cola

The lesser of two assholes. His music is very good.

Gratliff

Don’t need to refresh the page to know this is going to be an Oasis member

litre_cola

Nailed it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I know it wasn’t going to be Sasha Grey.

Horatio Cornblower

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, WAKE! I finally get it now.

I had always assumed that Finnegan was the name of a boat and Joyce was really into wakeboarding.

SonOfSpam

He was Irish therefore drunk so he had no idea about sentence structure and

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently boiling meat into submission is bad for grammar.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh is “meat” the Irish word for “potatoes”?

Horatio Cornblower

For all I can understand of Joyce you may very well be right.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone on the show we’re watching mentioned “having chocolate babies” and all I could think of was this image but with Andy Reid playing the part of Saturn.
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Brocky

Someone on reddit tried the old recreation challenge with this painting today

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Gotta say, it’s odd how it keeps popping up in the site.

SonOfSpam

Most attractive pillow biter since Ricky Martin.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We may have a winner, people.

Horatio Cornblower

Banner this motherfucker

Brocky

I’m just happy to have contributed

Horatio Cornblower

You get the assist.

litre_cola

Oh my,

SonOfSpam

“Eat my child? Been there, done th-”

– D Trump, before being dragged off by an erect Stephen Miller

nomonkeyfun

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There was an avalanche of dust in the monkeyfun household tonight right as I started to read this.

Thanks everyone for the stories. And I want to thank balls for the link.

SonOfSpam

Anyone playing cards tonite? Dunno who’s gonna donate, but someone can try.

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck it, I’m in.

But I think Sharkbait has to set it up.

SonOfSpam

Ok, someone important just needs to set er up. I’ll be waiting and drinking and also drinking.

litre_cola

Same.

jjfozz

How exactly does all of this online poker playing work? cause maybe i’d like to play

Senor Weaselo

It doesn’t work on the OS Catalina wine mixer. Which is fucking BULLSHIT. Bullshit I say!

Game Time Decision

I’ve got the app installed now, so interested in losing a bunch of imaginary chips to yall

jjfozz

Now this, this is the song of songs.

Gratliff

Just assumed everyone opened this in another tab as soon as the word “pogues” was uttered

Horatio Cornblower

Hate to dick-step you, Rikki, (just kidding, as The Road Warriors would say:

but you did bring up The Pogues, and this song just suits the theme to a goddamn T:

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we’d be seeing him again

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ow, my dick!

/but yeah, that one was on the shortlist

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You shouldn’t have been in that position! How many times do we have to tell you.

jjfozz

I’m sad to say
I must be on my way
So buy beer and whisky so I’m going far away

Horatio Cornblower

Fucking perfect

litre_cola

To everyone. I just read everyone’s words.

We may disagree on things but with TWBS passing it is more evident than ever that we are a dysfunctional, beautiful family. We all rely on each other when we want to bitch about work, sports, life in general and that is something special. We have our corner of the world and that is a beautiful thing that I know TWBS led the way in creating. I know I need this outlet as my jackassery and unhappiness is welcomed and aided by unknown bodies listening. (Ir)Regardless of why we are here or stayed here we did, and we have people that come, go, and now have passed but we are still here for each other and that is great.

Mark is proud.
Thank you.

jjfozz

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m only ~2 drinks in, so it’s not quite time to bust out the Pogues songs. But it’s getting close.
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jjfozz

I’ll start with one of their best fucking songs int eh wrold

Horatio Cornblower

I’m all over this. The Pogues, not Ms. Hendricks, as it is clearly stated in the Court order(s)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are okay; I believe that is Vica Kerekes (Czech mate).

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Horatio Cornblower

Oh cool, the Czech authorities don’t even know me!

Yet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They saw your Interpol file, sorry brother.

Horatio Cornblower

Fucking red notices.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, Interpole doesn’t have a file

…..yet.

Brocky

This scene was forever ruined for me by a simple observation:

Her discharge is now in her hair

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*enhanced.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

oh, for you, never mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

god damn it; takes three days. “That’s fantastic! You don’t even have to be a dwarf to tell her that her hair smells GREAT!”

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah. “Ruined”

Spur
Spur

jjfozz

If I ever completely fall from grace, like have this life meltdown where everything fucking explodes and falls apart, it’s gonna be because of tits.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Like Christina Hendricks tits or like Peter King tits?

jjfozz

Christina Hendricks. Seriously if she was like, “I’ll let you see my tits, but first can you go murder a guy I went to high school with who called me ugly?” I would do that. With gusto.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, even without all that, it’s pretty much a given that fucker deserves a murderin’ anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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Horatio Cornblower

Spur
Spur

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DOUBLE SHOT, of sorts

Horatio Cornblower

Horses, you say?

jjfozz

THIS PAST WEEK, I CALL IT MY FUTURE CELLMATE IN SUPER MAX, BECAUSE IT JUST WON’T STOP FUCKING ME WITHOUT USING ANY LUBE

litre_cola

I feel your cellmate brother.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He works out a lot, doesn’t he?

litre_cola

Surprisingly gentle though

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And he hasn’t demanded that Fozz’s front teeth

……….yet.

Spur
Spur

Christ, am reading all the posts this week for tWBS. Can we name the FFL league after him “The tWBS Memorial FFL”

Senor Weaselo

Shit, who’s going to be the new commish in League of Paper Champions? SHOT NOT!

litre_cola

I have already requested Yahoo to take over. It is important to me that this lives on. He and I spoke about the league after the Beast Mode league error. I will be inviting him back as well. If yahoo cannot cede it, I will re invite those participants.

Spur
Spur

WTF! Am gone one week and tWBS is taken from us. Now i really feel like a shit for not meeting up with him in Vegas a few years back. Am stunned. Does anyone have a photo of him? Part of fun of meet ups was seeing everyone’s face.

Fuck this blows. Should have been you Shogun Marcus.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well said folks.

He’ll never have to wear pants again god damn it.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

BANNER THIS MAN FOR HIS ACCURACY

jjfozz

Gonna go poure me a flaggon of bourble

herodotus450
herodotus450

Just be sure to even out all the Green Day with plenty of Red Night.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

A while back, I posted a photo of my collection of slide-rules:

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I love old technology, and I collect it with a judicious eye (i.e. I don’t buy crap and I look for a good price). I also collect old dial telephones. I do it because I just love that shit, despite my 9-to-5 job in movie VFX using the latest digital technology. I’m a film guy.

Seamus and I would exchange emails sometimes about his father’s Piper Cherokee airplane, and how he would track its ownership on the internet through public FAA records. I never asked him about his father, but he obviously owned an airplane so that’s something right there.

Anyway, Mark wrote me one day and said that he was cleaning things out and that he found his father’s E-6B flight computer, which is a sophisticated slide-rule that is taught in the most basic intro flight-instruction and every private pilot should know how to use. It computes your course to your destination based on prevailing winds, and it basically does all the calculus for you.

I said “yes of course how much?” and he said no charge I don’t want to throw my father’s E6-B out and I think you will give it a good home. I said “of course I’ll give it a good home” but I’ll pay for shipping. He said no he would ship it and it showed up on my doorstep a week later. It’s a high quality aluminum slide-rule with a case, unlike most E6-Bs which are cardboard or plastic.

The next time I saw Mark was at The Frolic Room in Hollywood (a place dear to my heart from years past) and he greeted me like an old friend. I took $25 out of my wallet to pay for the shipping at least but he was having none of that and he meant it.

Here’s my current slide rule collection. It’s in good hands:

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Gratliff

Time to move on to slides that don’t rule
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jjfozz

While my past experience with slide rules wasn’t ever good – I got mad and smashed them into bits – this is an amazing story.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A Piper Cherokee was what I learned to fly on. It’s pretty much all I flew. I never learned to use a slide rule, though. Kind of crazy to imagine that people flew airplanes over oceans using those to do all their navigation. For quite a long time.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Why? If you know how to use it an E6-B will give you the proper answer in a jiffy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“SLIDES RULE!” – Elisha, after downing a Red Bull he pilfered from the forbidden cabinet

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I drunkenly read E-6B as EB-66 for a minute there and got really excited. I assume you meant this:comment image
And not this:comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Whoops. Drunk-posting can be difficult.

Gratliff

This from Pete’s jet fuel study?

SonOfSpam

Frolic Room was where I met you also, and I couldn’t get over the OLD TIME CIGARETTE MACHINE O MY GOD IT’S BEAUTIFUL.

Coulda spent all day/night there.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Meet us at the Harbor Room in Playa del Rey, it also has an old time cigarette machine!

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Christ, you want something done right, you do it yourself.

Ms. Sara Jean Underwood. The man had a serious thing for her.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Later tater. Love ya.

Great stories foiks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did you know: an anagram of FUNERAL is REAL FUN.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Also ANAL REEFER.

jjfozz

I got: MASSIVE FUCKFACE DICKHEAD TRUMP EAT A SHIT BURGER AND DIE.

I’m kinda good at anagrams.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That exactly right. “Orange” is implied.

Senor Weaselo

I’ve opened up the freezer rum with the 2-liter Coke I picked up at Key Food. (Senor wanted burgers, dammit, and he didn’t disappoint. Maybe a little more Reaper powder.)

I’ve never poured one out for my homies, but I did that today. I know it isn’t freezer vodka, but I’m not a massive vodka person unless in the Moscow Mule form.

jjfozz

Excellent stories, men. Seamus was definitely a breed apart. I’ll be forever grateful for having to to get to know him, and forever kicking myself in the ass for not meeting him in person.

In other news I have had: two gummies, three Laugnitas IPAs, 4 Miller Lites, topped off by horrible carryout from Cheesecake Factory – which is what the Eldest Fozz Spawn wanted for his 16th birthday.

Horatio Cornblower

God, he really did suck at poker though, didn’t he?

litre_cola

Oh he was bad.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Found a funny:

Him: You were supposed to do something about the groundhog under the deck.
Me: I did. I named him Lord Melbourne. He likes Cocoa Puffs.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, I’ve cracked open the Kirkland’s. Rum, that is.

Senor Weaselo

SonOfSpam

This was lovely, everyone. Kudos for the stories and feelings.

Gratliff

This was wonderful.

I struggle at times to speak about death as my views on it are much more relaxed than most and I’ll occasionally offend whoever I’m speaking with. I mourn the passing of people, but am rarely sad that people are dead, including friends and family. There’s a peace and finality after the end of the whole ordeal. In life. there’s chaos and pain and disappointment and frustration. In death, those disappear into the ether. What remains is the memories you made with other people. The laughter and kindness will always overshadow the sadness in the end.

I only knew him through our interactions in this here comments section. Last time we crossed paths was him pointing out his question I’d answered in great length and detail was meant as a joke. Of course, I was aware of that and just plowed ahead anyway because that’s how I amuse myself, and will continue to do so in the future. Where I found respect was in how he handled his role as fixer in his family. His integrity was exemplified in the responsibilities he would voluntarily take up that most people would skirt if they had it forced on them. Anyone who’s found themselves in similar situations is aware of how much energy and resources goes into being the one who does the right thing regardless of how little reward or sense there is to it. Anyone who cares enough to be the person who chooses that path is a gift the world frankly hasn’t done enough to deserve.

So, it’s time to rest while the rest of the world keeps turning. Time to put down your tools and let someone else take up the work. Time for loved ones to say their goodbyes before finding their own way forward. Time for someone else to see his example and decide they care too.

His ride is over, but his burden is lifted, so his destination should bring him peace.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey remember tWBS’ story about serving up a nice steaming bowl of “go fuck yourself” to that weaselly little shit Bobby Hurley when he was being a dick to the receptionist at his veterinary clinic?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Another thing: about a year ago my stepmother had toxioplasmosis and was potentially going to need some very expensive drugs – ones that would have been considerably less expensive for me to go purchase for her in Mexico. Had it come to that, I know that tWBS would have had plenty of advice for me on how to get it through customs. Hell, he’d have probably offered to do it himself.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can only imagine what it would have been like to go camping/surfing in Mexico with tWBS, Balls, and you.

WCS

None of them would have survived.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Toss another trash bag full of weed on the bonfire, dude.”

Redshirt

Them or Mexico?

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

Horatio Cornblower

Nor would our relations with Mexico.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

He’d have stuffed them in his prison wallet and waddled on through.

Though God alone knows how he would have fit it up there next to the canoe paddle.

litre_cola

Oh jeez. Imma going to have to read that after Deci and Mrs Cola goes to bed because it will be dusty as fuck in here.
1st, cold vodka and a joint as our friend would have it.

Fronkenshteen

Tell BC Dick hello and hope he’s ok, would ya?

litre_cola

Absolutely.
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Redshirt

If he’s having a funeral or service and someone know where and when, we should send flowers. We can either be sincere “With love from your internet friends at DFO” or we can put something there to get people talking.

“Nothing personal, just business.”
“I’ll always remember that one afternoon we had on the grassy knoll.”
“The tontine is fulfilled. The treasure is now all mine!”

WCS

“I didn’t see nothing.” — Ray L.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DFO representative at the funeral (artist’s conception)
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Horatio Cornblower

I love the idea of sending some mysterious gift/card combo.

DFO: /Sends a carved box with a shriveled monkey’s paw and a card saying “Your work was long and hard, (that’s what she said), but now rest assured while we take up the burden and fulfill the prophecy”

tWBS’s family: That’s the 4th fucking one this week!

herodotus450
herodotus450

I knew we should have amended the DFO bylaws to forbid leaving the site via death.