Request Line: Potent Potables

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER sits on the floor of studio, tinkering with a long piece of pipe, a bunch of empty beer bottles, and a hammer.  He loads several of the beer bottles into a cloth grocery bag, and raises the hammer.

DJ 3000: SO…WHATCHA DOIN?

PRODUCER: The stores won’t let me use my own bags anymore so I figured I’d use them for this.

DJ 3000: RIGHT.  AND BY “THIS” YOU ARE REFERRING TO…

PRODUCER: Oh.  Yeah, the whole “no sports and no beer makes [redacted] go something something.”  So I’m making a still.

DJ 3000: A STILL?

PRODUCER: A distillation column.

DJ 3000: YES, THAT WOULD EXPLAIN YOUR GOOGLE SEARCHES RECENTLY.

The PRODUCER hums to himself as he begins to smash the bottles using the hammer, and then pouring the glass shards from the bag into the piece of pipe.

DJ 3000: I SEE YOU HAVE DECIDED IT’S NOT WORTH THE TIME TO CLEAN THE BOTTLES.

PRODUCER: I mean, this thing’s going to be full of hot ethanol, can’t imagine any germs will be able to survive in this environment.

DJ 3000: THAT’S TRUE.  SO HAVE YOU DECIDED WHAT KIND OF SPIRIT YOU’LL BE PRODUCING?

PRODUCER: Probably soju.

DJ 3000: OH, BECAUSE OF ALL THAT RICE YOU ‘LIBERATED’ FROM THE 99 RANCH?

PRODUCER: Listen, if they are going to leave all that rice sitting on pallets in an unsecured area, who am I to blame for taking it?  I’m teaching them a valuable lesson about security.

DJ 3000: I CAN’T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT YOU DID IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHILE THE LAPD WAS OTHERWISE ENGAGED.

PRODUCER: Well yeah, that’s just common sense.  You know, lots easier to social distance at 3 a.m.

DJ 3000: FOR SURE, FOR SURE.

The PRODUCER continues smashing bottles.

DJ 3000: IT’S ABOUT TIME FOR REQUEST LINE, DID YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANYTHING IN MIND?

The PRODUCER sits back and contemplates.

PRODUCER: You know, I feel like my focus has narrowed these days.  So let’s keep it simple.  Alcohol.

DJ 3000: VERY WELL.  SHALL I CUE UP SOMETHING APPROPRIATE?

PRODUCER: Please do.

Today’s theme is: Alcohol.  We’re looking for song about booze, but there are TWO catches – they MUST have some type of spirit in the name of the song, and you cannot request any type of alcohol more than TWICE.  Gin, whiskey, vodka, etc. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M00nsh!ne4evr” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Have at it!

 

 

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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SonOfSpam

Pick #1 schnapps division (Flavor Flav apparently referred to a Fuzzy Navel as “medina”)

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Double shot, band name and song name. Do I get extra credit?

SonOfSpam

Pick #1 moonshine division and cousin-bangin division

SonOfSpam

Pick #1, drank / Robitussin division

Dunstan
Dunstan

This counts as my bourbon #1:

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s a good ‘un…

SonOfSpam

Pick #2, bourbon division and fuck yeah Tom Waits division

SonOfSpam

Pick #1, gin division

SonOfSpam

Pick #1, scotch division and 93 year old song division

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Does the band name count?

SonOfSpam

Good news everyone, Seamus has returned in Viva La Tabula Raza form!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Wait till I start posting Offspring and Greenday vids!comment image

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

You do you, baby. Don’t let the man keep you down!

SonOfSpam

Pick #1, bourbon division

Dunstan
Dunstan

SonOfSpam

Pick #2, beer division and sorry but not really

ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder
Brocky

Obligatory “I don’t know how this hasn’t been posted yet”

scotchnaut

Look man, I just clicked on this post and this was the very first tune I thought of.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Me too. But I saw it mentioned in a post down below and figured why bother?

Brocky

So rikki with the assist!

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

Hey man

scotchnaut

You get a +1

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

Lawd, it makes me lovey-dovey!

SonOfSpam

That don’t confront me none.

SonOfSpam

Pick #1, beer division

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Okay, booze name in the fucking song title, alright?

SonOfSpam

lol old people are cranky

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

And dranky!

Brocky

If the lyrics weren’t so descriptive, you could easily argue that this song is a metaphor for alcoholism

SonOfSpam

Pick #1, vodka division and poorly drawn bewbs division

WCS

My theme song.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Not as done as I thought. I may have posted this one fairly recently for another reason. But if you’ve ever been to Thailand, you’ll know the deal.

Edit: after getting called out by SoS down thread, I hope that a brand of booze as the song title works

SonOfSpam

Hey, just think of me as a friendly cop who will beat you and lie about it.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

And I’m too much of a techno-tard to figure out how to film the beatdown on my phone.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

OK, i’ve done my major food groups (tequila, rum & coke, wine, whiskey) plus bonus, champagne that tastes just like coca cola (or cherry cola, on the US release). I’ll sit back and watch/listen till 7pm.

Edit: Damnit I missed nomonkeyfun got this one already. Replacing. Sorry about the C&W part. But it’s kinda funny.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

SonOfSpam

Nice to you to honor Seamus by not paying attention to the rules

they MUST have some type of spirit in the name of the song

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Whoops! I’ve already been indulging and missed that.
Too late to edit, so here we go:

SonOfSpam

At the risk of being THAT GUY (too late), I already took that below.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Missed that. I see the Champs Tequila got posted a couple times too. Dammit!

SonOfSpam

It’s Friday. No one cares except annoying pedants, and those people are terrible.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Gumbygirl
Gumbygirl

This little refrain should help me explain

nomonkeyfun

Pick #1 Vodka (really should be gin, but these youngins today.)

nomonkeyfun

Pick #1 gin
And this gets a me a double shot

nomonkeyfun

For the chaser,
Pick #1 Beer
I think they may like alcohol.

nomonkeyfun

Pick #1 Tequila
Dick Clark was either 15 or 65 in this clip.

SonOfSpam

Pick #2, tequila division and AFC South division

SonOfSpam

Pick #1, sparkling wine from France division

SonOfSpam

Pick #1, rum division

SonOfSpam

Pick #1, tequila division

Cuntler

Value pick, although I am not sure what is in Brass Monkey.

Game Time Decision

Vodka; found this, not sure if it’s so bad it’s good, or just plain old bad.

Game Time Decision

they also have a tequilla song….. hahaha. I guess you write\compose about what you know

Cuntler

Mexican Cousin is slang for tequila. People forget that. Also, DOUBLE SHOT with the post song. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Cuntler

Another rocker, you guys.

Cuntler

Here is my whiskey song, I guess.

ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder
Cuntler

HELL YES. LET’S FUCKING DO THIS!!!

Game Time Decision

Tequila, from the low hanging fruit of songs

SonOfSpam

Complicated lyrics, really tell a story.

Game Time Decision

Whiskey, and soooooooo going to get “dude’d” for this one.

SonOfSpam

RIP Seamus

Dude.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Dude, for both the drink and the song.

SonOfSpam

Please do not insult the Official American White Dork Wasted Beverage.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Actually [pushes up imaginary glasses] Fireball isn’t even whiskey, it’s just flavored schnapps.

…I was going somewhere with this, and I lost it, so just be happy you know that disgusting truth now.

SonOfSpam

Pick #1, fortified wine division:

SonOfSpam

Rules question: Let’s say a song has “Jack Daniels” in the title. Does that count as one of your whiskey choices? In other words, do brand names represent their specific liquor type?

SonOfSpam

Also, what about a mixed drink? Would that count for the underlying liquor choice?

Game Time Decision

Gin and Juice