NFL News:
- The NFL is saying the virtual period for offseason work will extend until June 26.
- Teams can decide whether to end their virtual routines this Friday, or extend the two weeks.
- Minicamps are still prohibited.
- There is also speculation that the NFL might follow the XFL’s lead & have a team of replacement players available for any team that has players test positive for COVID-19.
- The XFL had a ninth team of players available for teams to choose from; the NFL could have an unofficial 33rd team to help supplement a team that’s had to pick its practice squad clean.
- Teams can decide whether to end their virtual routines this Friday, or extend the two weeks.
- Another busy day in Charlotte:
- The Panthers’ statue of Jerry Richardson is apparently gone for good.
The savior of Whitekanda - Richardson has said he won’t sue over its removal, despite it being a contractual obligation of the sale.
- There are allegations that a private settlement has been agreed upon between Richardson & current owner David Tepper.
- His statue at Wofford, where he is a benefactor, will remain in place.
- One unintended consequence of the statue’s removal: The entrance to the stadium’s north gate will be wider and easier to navigate for fans this fall during the “social distancing” era of COVID-19.
- Richardson has said he won’t sue over its removal, despite it being a contractual obligation of the sale.
- In a costs reduction, the Panthers fired 15 business employees.
- Mostly sales & ticketing employees.
- Some were “performance related“, although no details about that were available.
- Mostly sales & ticketing employees.
- They also ended a sponsorship agreement with a security company over racially sensitive remarks the CEO made.
- CPI Security CEO Kenneth Gill apparently responded to an email from the group Queen City Unity by saying to the head of the group that they should “spend time in a more productive way,” and that “a better use of time, would be to focus on the black on black crime and senseless killing of our young men by other young men.”
- The Panthers’ statue of Jerry Richardson is apparently gone for good.
That’s good on Charlotte.
Good Charlotte is more tWBS.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- Top Rank Boxing on ESPN:
- Magdaleno-Vicente (featherweights) – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- Jessie Magdaleno (27-1, 18 KOs) vs. Yenifel Vicente (36-4-2, 28 KOs) in a featherweight bout in Las Vegas.
- Magdaleno-Vicente (featherweights) – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- MLB Draft: Rounds 2-5 – 2:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
- Round 2 through Round 5 of the 2020 MLB Draft.
- A total of 125 picks are scheduled on Day 2; they should be at Round 4 by the time this post comes live.
- 2013 Blackhawks – Bruins Cup final | NBCSN
- 5:00PM – Game 2
- 7:00PM – Game 4
- 9:00PM – Game 6
- Top Chef – 10:00PM | BRAVO / Food Network Canada
- The remaining chef contestants are flown to Parma, Italy heading into the finale. For their challenge, they must feature in their dishes the two most famous products of the region: Prosciutto di Parma ham, and Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese.
- They will serve their creations to a panel of Michelin stars chefs.
- Finale next week.
- The remaining chef contestants are flown to Parma, Italy heading into the finale. For their challenge, they must feature in their dishes the two most famous products of the region: Prosciutto di Parma ham, and Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese.
You know what? That’s good enough.
That’s also it for me this week. You get a handful of Balls tomorrow, and something pre-taped from me on the weekend.
Happy Friday!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2gw-asbBIM
The genius of Johnny Carson was that, with comedians, he was the perfect straight man. They shined.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zl6fCaSRH6U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWIiagSQf20&feature=emb_logo
Came in 5th out of 10 at poker, because I was too much of a coward to play two hands in a row that would have turned into big winners. One was Q10 that flopped a straight, the other was 99 that turned into a set on the flop, then four of a kind on the river.
Channel your inner tWBS next time. See every flop. All in with either of those either hands after.
And apparently jailhouse lingerie….. the height of crime.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=8&v=YRyiPuB5C_0&feature=emb_logo
I’d trust her with a rifle more than anyone in the Trump family.
Or the haircut demonstrators.
Fuck. She’s hired.
Positive, professional, accurate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNpMC4FslNk
You sick son-of-a-bitch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WtsPe06W9s&feature=emb_logo
I think I’d like to pollinate by that movie.
“That’s not honey.”
Part of my William Motherfuckin’ Smith collection.
There’s fucking Robert Bloch again. I guess he was like the Michael Caine of screenwriting. “Check cleared, I’m good!”
He was fantastic for Hollywood (and would be today); no original ideas but inventive enough to not get sued for copyright infringement.
This is the cinema of Freddie Francis! He was an Academy Award winning cinematographer who then spent 20 years directing low-budget horror movies for Hammer Films (which he loved doing), then went back to A-list cinematography for Scorsese and David Lynch and won another Oscar.
Obligatory ook.
The book says 775 kills by these ladies. Sniper kills were apparently often exaggerated. Who knows? CCCP was trying to propagandizes everyone’s role in defeating the Huns and sacrificing for the state. On the other hand I can see this bunch putting down a lot of German dick, and not how that phrase would usually be used.
Say what you will about the Orang-Utan’s courage, he ain’t afraid to double down on the racism.
“Hey, you got your race war in my civil war!”
“Hey, you got your civil war in my race war!”
We might end up with the US military in clashes with the various fascist police authorities across the country.
I think that may be what he wants.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/06/trumps-rnc-speech-to-be-held-on-60th-anniversary-of-ax-handle-saturday-in-jacksonville-report/
“Nobody loves the police and the military more than I do. Until now. Fight, fight for my love!”
“We’re gonna reform the police but there’s nothing to reform because it’s just a few bad apples.”
HAHAHAHAHA
“As democracy is perfected, the office (of the President) represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
– H.L. Mencken, 1920
Also, H.L. Mencken was a racist
I still think Enlightened Despotism is the way.
Definitely forgot about Speccy the Speculum
I need the extra hand.
Just went out to light the (Hank Hill voice) propane grill, and it is perfect outside right now.
If you are on the West Coast, I urge you to go out and beat off. Perfect jerkin weather.
Oh man, I just finished 30 minutes ago inside.
But, marching orders are marching orders.
You’re the Chesty Puller of testes pullers.
That should be illegal.
Another block and a half and it is.
Low Commander, you’re the one in San Diego. You know what you must do.
You heard him, LCSS. Take a load off.
Perfect jerking weather? AGREED!
Evening. I’m gassy.
My least favorite dwarf.
“By contrast, my favorite!” – Bill Barr
Well, my intent was to warn that you breath the fart in whether you want to or not, but good on the immediate movie recognition.
Is the discussion to re-name the military bases that are named after racist, treasonous, and ultimately failed confederate generals an important topic in this moment or is it just some other distraction to be riled up at the idiot-in-chief? Asking for a friend.
While we’re at it maybe we can take breakfast back from that traitor Benedict Arnold #WhitesOfTheirEggs
Why is everybody busting on Braxton Bragg? He was a pre-war hero in the U.S. Army and he did everything in his power to lose the Civil War for the Confederacy.
You know who else was a racist? William Tecumseh Sherman. Hell, they all were.
Hell, even the abolitionists were racists back then. Lincoln didn’t really want to free the slaves, either, from what I read when I was younger. Of course, that could be propaganda too.
He didn’t believe he could legally do it because it was in the Constitution, unless it was amended. The Emancipation Proclamation was actually a “war powers” act.
Sherman may have been (definitely was) a racist, but he also destroyed a lot of racists. On balance, he was a credit to the human race.
I mean, we can pull down all the statues. That’s good, too.
They’re really just bird toilets and pedo meetup zones.
I see. he was one of the “good” racists.
Just like Biden!
According to a citation on wikipedia, about Sherman, “His friends and family always called him ‘Cump.'”
The “p” was for “he pees when he cums”
He was stone-cold crazy too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8Rfb1Jtmic
He supposedly said of Grant:
He wasn’t a traitor to his country. And I don’t know of a military base named for him, but the Navy doesn’t do much of that. It’s mostly NAS Here and NSB There and that sort of thing.
No, but have you ever heard of a little thing called A SHERMAN TANK?
They would attach lengths of tank-tread to the sides of the tank to act as additional armor.
Oh no, not again!
No, I’m not drunk off my ass….well, yet anyway.
I never thought about this. I was a blackshoe engineer rate stationed with a bazillion brownshoes at NAS Corpus Christi; looking at the list of NAS’s, the only exceptions I can find to your rule immediately are NAS Moffett and NAS Cecil Field.
Those would be General Lee jeans.
It’s pertinent to this moment, and the funny part is the military guys at the Pentagon were down with it and making plans, and Dicksmack von Gunt tweeted his opposition, so they had to scrub,
Never gave it even a moment’s thought, because I didn’t know Fort Bragg was named for a first-class asshat. But it is, and we can change it, because why the fuck not. But as always, Thumbcock Can’tread chooses a racist hill to die on.
I like that the Republican-led Senate Armed Services Committee approved the name changes as part of the next defense spending bill. Pissed Generalissimo Bonespurs no end. Can’t someone do something that will trigger the vegetizing stroke already, or is he like the Terminator? He will not stop till we are all dead!
I don’t think he is committed to any idea enough to have a stroke over it.
He’s totally committed to himself.
But he can rationalize anything to either an accomplishment or another’s fault. The stress free approach.
And…
AND…?
He finished and fell asleep, obvs.
To be fair, he was speaking about the night shift…
GREAT fucking movie.
Also
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrkEDe6Ljqs
In my time, I’ve had a couple of dead fucks, just like the Fonz there.
(watch “Barry” if you do not already watch “Barry” because Henry Winkler is a national treasure)
“Barry, your character says the name of the movie. You know that that means? They can’t cut your scene from the movie”.
SO good.
I would also recommend Barry; I think you’ll like it, and if not it is a series so you can divorce it.
“This is Chuck to remind Bill to shut up. [rewind] This is Chuck to remind Bill to shut up. [rewind] This is Chuck to remind Bill to shut up….”
Loved that movie. Henry Winkler is just wonderful.
He is. I told him the Clippers were losing once. At LAX. The day after my wedding. He is not super tall.
What? You’re too good for John McLaughlin gifs?
That thing has two necks. Obviously this fact skews things.
https://reverb.com/news/who-actually-uses-double-neck-guitars
It was a joke on the name, but whatever; I’ll google that for ya.
His band was one of the best group of musician I’ve seen, technically speaking, IMO. He’d would go from the 12 string sound to the 6 string sound often without missing a note in their compositions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcQKjffxIOY
Here’s Jimmy explaining on a song you’ve heard a million times.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqM8FZ6qR6Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxQN9QBRbbs
Slash gives his explanation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWoL-AvJ2Sw
This woman shows you how Jimmy would use it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xT9as1rFSdg
Here’s Jimmie annoying his brother.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8ZTVIihYfY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96XHr6E3awM
Come on, they had waffle fries and everything!
The White House serves Luftwaffle fries.
…and Putin Poutine.
https://entertainment.theonion.com/paw-patrol-writers-defend-episode-where-german-shephe-1828419524
“You get a handful of Balls tomorrow”
YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!
Wait, what am I supposed to do with my other…
Oh, right. Nevermind.
“HULK USE BOTH HANDS!”
– Donald, saying nite-nite to 8 year old Vanky
They already have the Browns, Bengals, Bears, Bills … A virtual B-Team, if you will. If B stood for Balls.
Also the Lions.
I honestly think a bunch of taxi drivers would be a better NFL Taxi Squad than the Bengals.
It does
Fully functional; Panel D opens on command.
I’d go to a therapist who is basically Kenny Powers.
Best day at your grade school? I can’t remember one that would rival this.
A visit by Mary Ann during middle school, however, might have resulted in some nocturnal emissions.
Did she? Or are you just making shit up? ‘Cause that would have been cool. Don’t answer; I’ll just think it happened.
How is your garden?
Welp, my mother was finally fired from her job due to her FMLA running out due to COVID-19. Thankfully, her surgery is scheduled for early July, so all I need is for her to get in and out before the 2nd wave hits and clogs up the hospitals again.
She knew she would be let go; she was just waiting for them to bite the bullet and get it over with. She was a good employee, but they needed to replace her. But she is still saying busy. In one day, she successfully applied for Unemployment and her Medical Marijuana Card (because she no longer needs to take any drug tests for work).
That’s inspiration right there.
Woooo for medical marijuana!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRm1yqSmsGY
I hope everything works out. Dispensary tip: ask for the good shit. They sell some stuff that’s only medicinal.
That is good to know. Gumby just got his Cali card.
This is also inspiration.
Open up your dating range.
LOL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUWBA9LmX0I
The Shame Bats would be a good Fantasy Football name, or as an internet identity.
“Wet Market Sandwich”?
Recently got into a band from China called Carsick Cars, especially their most recent album, “3”. I listened to it all the time on iTunes, but it recently disappeared. Not their entire catalogue; just the third album. I looked for it on YouTube, and it wasn’t available there, either. Is this Trump’s fault?
Maybe indirectly, but yes.
Also, re: the ending gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOLF_D7JVZM
Excellent. Don’t forget this (the Youtube version won’t open in Canada)
https://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/the-sinatra-group/81357051/
Ah, ebaumsworld. The original NFL Memes of the internet. At least they’re helping my friends to the North nowadays.
Yeah, I’m old.
archive.org or archive.is
It was a joke.
Is it, though?
I saw this before I ever watched the real McLaughlin Group, and then discovered how frighteningly accurate it was.
Of course, I then kept watching the McLaughlin Group for several years…
That happened to me too! I got to know of him through Dana Carvey and then watched the show. My teenage me was fond of the blonde panelist lady in the original..
Ive been waiting for a package scheduled for delivery since 10am. I have a sneaking suspicion this package is delayed and the tracker is a lying whore
Sony unveiled the PlayStation 5 today, and I’m not sure how to feel about it, except for the two-tone, which is horrible.
I have no idea of the practicality, but it seems the visual designers had to much control and too much Tron/ Star Wars/ etc. in their heads.
Yeah, the non-rounded edges seem like a prime thing to break right off.
Finally, a color scheme inspired by every sci-fi anime character ever designed
FINALLY!
Pour one out for the last-turn chicane at Trial Mountain. And by that I mean pour one out for the chicane cut at Trial Mountain, because the computer drivers are suckers.
I just care that it doesn’t sound like a jet taking off or make the room five degrees warmer
Is that the one where the cat naps beside it it and the utility company adds demand charges?