Sorry for the brevity – my staff meeting went longer than expected. Plus, somehow I am now union rep, which the length of the meeting did everything to try & dissuade me from the position.
NFL News:
- Josh Gordon has formally applied for reinstatement.
- He is working out in Seattle, pending Roger’s decision.
- But he isn’t a Seahawk – he was “active” in enough games that he qualified for free agency.
- His lawyer is blaming Gordon’s last “lapse” on the death of his brother, and that he has a stable support network around him now.
- Since the start of the 2012 season, Gordon has only played in 63 games (out of 96).
- He is working out in Seattle, pending Roger’s decision.
- One place he could wind up? San Francisco, because Deebo Samuel has broken his foot.
- Samuel is expected to be out between 12-16 weeks, costing him at least the start of the season.
- Jamal Adams has demanded to be traded away from the Jets.
- Drafted in 2017 & extended through 2021 by the Jets, he wants an extension that will increase his base salary & fulfill the “Jet for life” pledge he says the team made him.
- His final two years will pay him $3.5 million this season, $9.9 million in 2021. The latter is the amount of his fifth-year option.
- Rumours are he wants Eddie Jackson money, which is $14.6 million/year from the Bears.
- Drafted in 2017 & extended through 2021 by the Jets, he wants an extension that will increase his base salary & fulfill the “Jet for life” pledge he says the team made him.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- Top Rank Boxing on ESPN – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- Pedraza-LesPierre (super lightweights) – Jose Pedraza (26-3, 13 KOs) vs. Mikkel LesPierre (22-1, 10 KOs) in a super-lightweight main event in Las Vegas.
- Also: Gabriel Flores Jr. vs. Josec Ruiz (lightweights).
- Pedraza-LesPierre (super lightweights) – Jose Pedraza (26-3, 13 KOs) vs. Mikkel LesPierre (22-1, 10 KOs) in a super-lightweight main event in Las Vegas.
- Top Chef – 10:00PM | BRAVO / Food Network Canada
- Season finale!
- In an epic Italian showdown, in Italy, the final three All Stars cook the meal of their lives in an effort to take home the ultimate title and prize.
- Australian Rules Football:
- Western vs. GWS Giants – 5:30AM | TSN3
- Korea Baseball Organization:
- Doosan Bears at LG Twins – 5:25 AM | ESPN / TSN4
If I get more time, I’ll update this. Otherwise, have a lovely evening.
I will post no spoilers, but the person I thought from the beginning would win Top Chef, won Top Chef!
Just being REALLY REAL here, but I don’t get the fascination with cooking shows and wrastling on DFO. We all bring our likes and dislikes but unless I can eat it I don’t care to see it. As for Wrestling I don’t think it’s a sport. They are athletes but if the outcome is predetermend It’s not a sport.
I don’t understand cooking competition shows. If it tastes good to you, that’s all that matters. Fuck what “judges” think.
Probably the same reason I love surfing yet completely hate “professional surfing”.
Kelly Slater? GOaT or no??
I cannot stand Kelly Slater.
No one can. He’s an asshole.
He’s the worst thing to happen to surfing. In so many ways.
Gerry Lopez, OTOH, was the coolest surf-king ever.
That’s like asking if Tom Brady is the GOaT or not.
Kelly Slater thinks so.
FOAR the tWBS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH-i8IvYIcg
Dude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDy4bp9nKf0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD7t8PKkvmE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuUEpbGVV2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjIvu7e6Wq8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stqG2ihMvP0
I could not do that.
Put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it? Sure you can!
I need a diagram on how that works. Sounds like a great way to pull something.
I could do that!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTafZRecy2k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToQ0n3itoII
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nrPBx7oMOc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE7fs2979Y4
I would think more people here approve of boobies and puppies.
I have dealt with so much literal shit today, I should just move to Free Country, USA, and take up a new jorb.
I would offer you a referral, but cannot guarantee a jerb with lower excrement coefficient
He could do may sales.
So apparently Osama Bin Laden endorsed Joe Biden? Here’s a photo of Diamond Joe accepting that endorsement:
I wish I could get dead people with an international profile to endorse me on LinkedIn
Wernher von Braun: Zis lady ist going places! Zwei thumbs up!
Fair & Balanced.
So I typed in the Faux News motto and it got bot moderated. That in itself is amusing.
Future Moose would know how to deal with those damn ‘bots.
Probably not dirty enough to make the kids ask their parents uncomfortable questions, but still going with Rare Essence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTVjnBo96Ug&app=desktop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTevhu1ndQM&app=desktop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxrWz9XVvls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-ecL2DGszc
Interesting little fact about the Dr. Strangelove video clip above: This exact clip was posted to YouTube on December 14, 2005, the day before YouTube was officially launched (YouTube was in public beta for about six months before that). It does not yet have million views.
Also, Vera Lynn was the very first British artist to have a #1 hit in the U.S.
We sang that Vera Lynn song at my Grandma’s funeral. Always makes me teary.
What is the hottest indoor temperature you would endure before opening your windows to the horrible sound of children playing?
80 or thereabouts.
Wouldn’t you have to go out said window?
I open up when indoor>outdoor temp, and that tends to happen around 80. But these kids are loud and screechy, seriously unsure on the tradeoff
If you don’t open the windows, you can’t plink them with your bb gun.
That’s just science.
Or…if I can hear them, they can hear me! What’s the most obscene loud music I could play?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GaTAfBeSek
This is when you really miss tWBS…
Barry Manilow?
It’s kids, so play them the most muzak thing you can. Kenny. G.
Man, you don’t want to cause permanent damage; you might get sued.
I assume you all knew I was going to recommend this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmvzsdD3dzQ
Gary Glitter.
[Catholic priest sheds tear at this comment]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cV6pnvCVM4
Well, with me it’s nice because I’m the single old guy in the ‘hood and the neighbors hurry their kids inside when they see me looking out the window.
That’s because you’re not wearing pants.
Isn’t that a given?
Also both neighbor moms are fairly hot, so I’m sure that helps.
Drones
Depends on the melting temperature of plastic.
Tried an image upload, failed.
Dick joke
Dick York
Dick Sargent
Endora
I have a bag or corn chips that must be a bad batch; they are paper thin and it is difficult to dip appropriately. Thoughts and prayers, people, thoughts and prayers.
Thanks Obama.
Fragile White cornchips
Blue.
Fragile cop cornchips, even worse
Shoulda got the yellow, red, blue mix for diversity.
Or just use a spoon, but not gonna even try to extend the metaphor
Crunch them up and dump them in the dip bowl like cereal. That would mean I would have to get up.
In a sick and twisted way, I kind of hope Trump gets reelected. Bedlam was a popular tourist attraction for the exact same reason.
(Without the senate, because I don’t want actual consequences)
All the shit the executive branch has control over? There are consequences, lot’s of consequences.
Eh, he’s already lost the military, and he can’t issue an EO that’ll hold water to save his life. He’s uniquely incapable of fully exploiting the unwise power we’ve given the executive branch
No true; he has people doing that for him. Rolling back environmental, safety, etc., etc. regulations. Executive orders to sell off leases to formally protected lands.
That’s mostly through appointments that have to be approved via the senate. His handlers wouldn’t be able to push nearly as much shit through if he didn’t have fucking Mitch sucking the skin tab he calls his cock
Here is just the ones in 2017:
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/here-s-full-list-donald-trump-s-executive-orders-n720796
Total:
https://www.federalregister.gov/presidential-documents/executive-orders
https://www.cnbc.com/2014/01/28/executive-orders-what-they-are-and-how-they-work.html
Many of those have since been overturned by the courts, or at least put on hold by the courts. He really doesn’t know how to craft an EO that passes judicial scrutiny. He fundamentally misunderstands the power of the president, he doesn’t understand that his word is not automatically law.
Yes, several have, a lot of the more recent ones have not. Several of the early ones were in-actionable because they were so poorly written. He is issuing orders as fast as possible to overturn anything Obama did. Agreed he does not understand, but many around him do and they are getting better at writing them. You are way underestimating the damage this asshole is doing.
Of course he is not the “brain” behind it, but his rich buddies have a free hand with this. Here is just a few examples:
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/02/15-ways-trump-administration-impacted-environment/
Not really, just in my ‘make the best of it’ fantasy world. I need that sometimes
All that said I would not be surprised if he gets reelected; we are that stupid.
He’s polling historically bad, including in swing states he needs. If he gets reelected we’re legit a third-world corrupt country. I get the pessimism, and it’s not impossible, but it’s seriously unlikely
National polling is BS. It doesn’t matter what the popular vote is. As you point out, the swing states are where the action is. Biden should be able to win some, but I dunno…I’ve been hearing PA is Trump country, FL is going to go Trump, and I’m not sure a Dem wins Ohio. So then we get to Michigan (likely Biden) and Wisconsin (50/50).
TL;DR the electoral college sucks.
FL isn’t even a swing nowadays. Biden has MI by freaking 10 pts, and other labor states are back to Dem. It’s still early, but if the election were held today it would be called Dem before 10 pm EST
FL goes Red permanent, but doesn’t matter. Biden has a better midwest and midsouth grip than you think
Like that old man grip? You know, when grampa is mad?
I hope so. And it would be nothing to celebrate, just a relief for me.
Right. Today. Which has nothing to do with 5 months from now. Honestly, Trump could be even further underwater as the Covid-19 virus runs rampant. Or the debates could sink Biden completely. Either one is a likely case right now.
I certainly hope you are right, but I’m not that confident in national polling at this stage.
Seriously, me neither. And again, national numbers are next to meaningless. One or two surprise states can send a whole election veering off course, and it’s not like we haven’t seen that happen a time or three in the last 20 years.
Hey, thanks for cheering me up, man.
Ah, sorry to be a downer. I’ll try to stop being an asshole.
Not as though I was not thinking in a very similar manner.
This is an important point though. People lost faithin polling after 2016, but polling was right. Clinton won nationally, she lost in specific places. But Biden has a huge lead right now on an electoral basis. If he blows it, goddamn we’re just fucked
Eh, there’s already a Dem House that signs off on all of his BS. No reason to think the Senate would do that much to curb Trump.
And the senate rubbers…… rubber stamps any appointments.
And there’s enough blue-dog Dems (*cough*Joe Manchin*cough*) to keep on rubber-stamping away while the main of the party look concerned and make “tch-tch” noises.
That is sick and twisted.
I love chaos, but fuck no and also fuck no.
I would like to see the military have to escort him and his cabinet out of the office though.
Yes YES YES YESYESYESYESzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I won’t be happy with anything less than a full on perp walk for him and his entire grifting family.
I’m okay with that.
Never happen. In 2032, when Tom Cotton is president, the Dems will be talking about the “good ol’ days” of Trump like they’re currently doing with GWB.
Man, Cotton is pretty frightening. Assuming conservatism doesn’t up and die he’s going to be a huge pain in the ass for a long time.
Agreed. The GOP is going to flock to him like flies to shit. I’m less frightened of Trump (although he is frightening) than what the GOP becomes post-Trump, having learned from his example.
I don’t Cotton to where this is going.
As long as the legislative branch is out of reach, the rate at which he’s deteriorating? Imagine. It could set a new 25th amendment precedent!
Pence or whoever else; fuck that.
I don’t give comments a -1 very often, but yeah, gonna have to do that here.
Get out the vote.
P.S. make sure and upvote the pug.
This hermano gets his OWN Oxi.
I will get it for him, he means business.
WHOA!
Cutiepie!
So, that Trump ad that FB took down cause it’s fucking Nazi? They submitted 88 variants of that ad. They know exactly what they’re doing.
Why? Just because H is the 8th letter so 88 is code for Heil Hitler?
Ridiculous. Aryan gangs have 88 tattoos because of their piano love and nothing more.
It could also be because they are such fans of the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics, and nothing at all to do with Hitler or heiling him
Hell yes. Sadly, they have to close down the ski jump that you can see from most parts of town due to lack of funding.
Fucking Obama
Of fucking course they did. Assholes.
Raul Julia was better, but not by much.
BLASPHEMY!
Indeed, fucker probably uses ketchup.
¡¿Qué?! Juliá por una milla.
-Hey Rob. How does it feel to be a Union Rep?
–
He just loaned the casino $500 million from the pension fund. Great, in other words.
It’s a teacher’s pension – I got a loan for an ‘03 Mazda.
6 disc stacker in the back?
With 4 Dave Matthews CDs already loaded.
ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US ALL KILLED?!?!?
AM and FM.
FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!!1!1!1
Never heard of a male referred to as a carpet muncher.
Durr Fuhrer’s penis was small enough that maybe “male” don’t fit?
-US press, 1944.
Maybe we’ve done this already, but odds there’s actually an NFL season?
I want to think 80%.
As long as no one involved gets infected I think you’re probably right, but the amount of isolation they would have to impose extreme externally to ensure that…I don’t know. I can easily see one dude ruining it for everyone
3/2 it’s Gronk
If there is a god, yes.
At least. Odds of schedule going exactly as planned? Maybe 30%.
Is everyone on the Buccs considered immunocompromised because MRSA?
Check with Lawrence Tynes (currently in a coma , yet again)
With regards to the Matt Gaetz thing. Let’s be charitable and assume that despite all outward appearances, he did something decent and was looking out for this kid – gave him a place to stay, got him a job as a page, etc.
Someone, somewhere, was collecting benefits (tax credit, etc.) on behalf of this kid. Whether it was Gaetz or someone else, it’s very likely that some kind of fraud was going on.
“I don’t know, it all seems legit to me…”
—Lush Rimjob
He’s also ignoring the fact that people from Cuba are not necessarily non-white. And Hispanic populations that identify as white have white outcomes
If there wasn’t fraud, it was because Gaetz was too deceased to do fraud, and that is not the case. Ergo, fraud.
And that young man has definitely seen Gaetz balls in some manner.
https://pixxxels.cc/gallery/Qsx90tH
I know I have done this before, but every time I hear this song, I am going to post it to honor Scotchnaut.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du0EsLz0IyU
“Aww, shucks Tabula.” [puts knife back in sheath]
Eh, fuck work. I have actually useful skills, but I get paid to attend dumbass meetings and do pointless shit. People love made-up shit, I really should stop trying and fake everything
I had basically the same thought today as I finished a conference call that was basically use common sense. So I went and smoked a bowl.
When I am on a conference call, I always make sure I’m on mute when I spark that bowl.
I should have more intoxicating chemicals in my bloodstream while I work, good call
Lunch beers FTW
I’ve been super good, but when I haven’t it’s been red wine in a coffee mug
I have the odd cider, because it’s apple juice!
Whenever they ask us to dial in with video on the Webex or CVR or whatever, I beg off saying I really need a haircut or don’t want to comb my hair or haven’t trimmed the beard or need a shave or some other bullshit. It’s worked out so far!
I go with hair every time. I have yet to be on a video call. It’s just my initials and I continue to be a man of mystery.
No camera here either; fuck that.
Ok action item for this comment: someone summarize what Dok said and put it on the shared network drive, ok?
Let’s circle back to that offline, we’ll figure out the best POC
What will the stakeholders think of this? There are a lot of challenges, but great coaching opportunities.
Kill me.
Can I get on the invite for the kill me meeting?
Obama was the best POC, unless you don’t mean President Of Color.
Depending on what you think of Catholics…
As a non-practicing one? We are horrid.
Truth
Jesus Wayne Gacy
So he likes….veal?
Thread title is timely. I have gotten great comfort over the past few months from telling myself “when this shit is over, I’m getting a new job.”
I’m more like, “when this shit is over, I will very likely be deceased.”
When this shit is over, I’ll be able to measure the time since I last touched a human in years rather than days
That was true for me before COVID.
Well, except for all of those I groped at the DFO Pub Crawl. Sorry about that. Maybe.
All good. Just wish I hadn’t already nutted with that hobo Scotchy killed the next week.
Until that day, may I respectfully suggest that you, and anyone else who is alone in this time of pestilence, touch yourself! Maybe on one of those boring conference calls? That would liven things up!
Eh, I still have dirty texting with the dude I left in Chicago, he’s a forever sext
My husband is retired Navy, so we experienced looong separations. We tried phone sex on the few occasions he could call from some far-flung port. It never worked, we would end up laughing too much.
You may have just hit on one of the advantages of the written word!
I.e. no one knows how much I giggle when typing that shit 😛
last funny:
me: [googling] what do leg bleeding raccoon bite
google: elevate and apply pressure
me: [lifting raccoon real high] apologize or else
https://healthyliving.azcentral.com/behavioral-signs-of-rabies-in-a-raccoon-12273791.html
Fuck yes half day friday tomorrow
Imma going to do it and watch Man U v Spurs.
I’ll be watching from the beach. I can’t wait to see how a healthy Spurs disappoints me this late into the season!
My nightmare begins 5:30 my time Saturday.
Gregg Popovich for the win.
I can’t be the only one here endlessly entertained by this.
Warning: Addictive content.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz77Ulwpf-s
Did you hear MLB is going to have advertising on the player’s uniforms? NOOOOOOOI! Unless it says Chico’s Bail Bonds, I want no part of it.
found a funny:
each morning I put one uncooked ravioli in a thermos. i pour hot water over it, steeping it like tea, and then i drink it all day at work (i work at the white house) and at the end of the day, as i take the last sip of the tea, the soft ravioli slides into my mouth, and i eat it
I’m gonna go with, Who is James Carville?
That’s somehow somewhat nauseating.
Another one at the White House does this same thing, but instead of hot water they piss in the thermos.
Both of those people are Stephen Miller.
Long week thus far.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy1OM505vhQ
That’s a good pug!
I’m embarrassed to admit it took me way too long to realize there are two pugs there.
I will not post the picture of the six-legged dog.
“I’m enjoying smelling and licking where you balls were.”
-Pug #2, CA.
Woah look at mr moneybags over here with his Little Caesars rug.
“She’s got Marty Feldman eyes…”
—Kim Carnes
My cousin and her new husband (cool guy) were going to come down and visit me and my octogenarian parents at the end of July. I just called and waved her off. Fortunately, her SouthWest tickets are good for a year, so maybe they can come down next spring or summer, if we aren’t all living in Mad Max world by then. Which I suspect we may be.
We’re in Mad Max right now. By next year we should be tilting hard into Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior territory.
Pox-Eclipse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23SVHUPrUJ4
My sister just suggested a girl’s trip for us with my cousin. Nope.
So an LSD video-conference?
My cousin is an old hippie who used to sing in coffeehouses in New Orleans in the 60’s. She’s really cool, and would be fun to take acid with! My sister, who I love but can only take in small doses, is a raging alcoholic. Not as much fun.
Sounds like sis could use some LSD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaWDTPhIq0I