Your “When Things Don’t Go According To Plan” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Nodules of NFL News:

  • The big news today is that the Hall of Fame Game has been officially cancelled
    • This was widely expected, but still needed to be publicly announced to avoid the arrival of thousands of motor homes in Canton, Ohio.
      • Having been there during HoF Week, I can say that without hyperbole.
    • The stories about reducing the number of preseason games also was a factor in dooming the game.
      • It will cost us a late first-quarter sideline interview with Big Ben where he dodges all the questions about his rehab but includes all the new Bible quotes he learned over the summer, but as long as the field is safe no one will care.

  • Also, they announced that the 2020 & 2021 classes will be enshrined together.
    • Hall President has already come up with the slogan – “Twice the Fun in ’21′.”
  • The Drew Brees redemption tour continues apace, with the announcement that he will be the Presenting Sponsor for the Black College Football Hall of Fame’s “The Road to Equality” event.
    • To quote:
      • As the presenting sponsor, the Brees family is providing both financial and promotional support to “The Road to Equality” event, which is scheduled to be streamed July 15 and hosted by NFL Network’s Steve Wyche and CBS’ Charles Davis.
    • Former NY Times columnist and author Samuel Freedman will also discuss his best-selling book Breaking the Line: The Season in Black College Football That Transformed the Sport and Changed the Course of Civil Rights.
    • The Black College Football Hall of Fame – a virtual entity at this point – was founded in 2009 by African-American pioneers, quarterbacks James Harris and Doug Williams to preserve the history and honor the greatest football players, coaches and contributors from Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs).
      • It’s list of trustees is very impressive and, despite their age, still a little imposing.
Mel Blount also looks like he travels the country solving crimes.

Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • Top Rank Boxing on ESPN: J. Moloney-Baez (super bantamweights) – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Jason Moloney (20-1, 17 KOs) vs. Leonardo Baez (18-2, 9 KOs) in a bantamweight bout in Las Vegas. Also: Abraham Nova vs. Avery Sparrow (lightweights).
    • FYI – “Super-bantamweight” is also known as junior- or light-featherweight.
      • The participants must weigh between 118 pounds (54 kg) and 122 pounds (55 kg).
  • Holey Moley II – 8:00PM | ABC
    • Remember – it’s mini-golf on TV.
      • Remind people of this when they spout that “golden age of TV” bullshit.
    • The episode is titled, “Don’t Attempt This In Clogs”, so who knows what the hell is going on.
  • Korea Baseball Organization:
    • NC Dinos at Doosan Bears – 5:25 AM | ESPN / TSN4
  • AFL:
    • GWS vs. Collingwood – 5:30AM | TSN 3

That’s it for me. I’ll be drunk as hell tomorrow night, as it’s the last day of school. So expect BRILLIANCE from me this weekend.

0
0
vote
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
158 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

Sometimes I see pictures of old Los Angeles and I’m just struck at how much cooler everything was back then. Just everywhere. This block has a bar, a diner, and a barbershop, among others:

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I love these pictures of old LA!

Brick Meathook

Wider view.

LA to NY: $99
LA to SF: $9.95

The Ham n Egger Motto: THE BITE THAT’S RITE MORNING NOON & NITE

comment image

Brick Meathook

Same scene today. The arch over the alley is gone, the Hollywood Taft building on the far left is still there but there is no bar (????), and they saved the Spanish facade of the Ham n Egger etc. The rest is gone, replaced with soulless crap.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

yeah right

Today I was officially vegan.

I didn’t plan it, it just happened.

I had a banana blueberry smoothie with whole grain toast for breakfast, then had an apple, granola bar and yogurt for lunch followed by some red pepper hummus for dinner.

I only did this to make sure I had enough chicken for a burrito tomorrow.

Don’t judge!

I’m doing some serious steak on Sunday.

Be healthy and well, my friends.

Bourbon is vegan.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

So, possibly good news: unless your yogurt was made with almond milk, it’s not vegan.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

So I have posted both Dylan’s and Johnny Winters versions of Highway 61 Revisited over the last few days. Found another version. Allman Brothers with Tom Petty, Mike Campbell, and Benmont Tench guesting. Fucking ay.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

“Where’s the fucking pie??”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Mr. Ed would like to have a word.comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Let’s go for a drive.

Viva La Tabula Raza

If Donald and Ivanka were born 50 years earlier.comment image

yeah right

“Where’s the shit house?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Emphasis here is on POINTY
comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook

This pointy-titted post led me to discover Mike Lyman’s Flight Deck Restaurant & Rocket Room at LAX!

comment image

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I have been in that theater for a film screening. The director was a friend of a friend that was married to a woman even though he was clearly gay.

The film was ok.

Brick Meathook

Related:

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

“Let’s agree to disagree.”

WCS

Robocop Vs. Terminator looks good!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m hoping that this is a preview of Senate Repubs versus the White House campaign this fall.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Brilliant.

Sharkbait

Holy shit Knives Out is a fantastic movie

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I enjoyed it too.

Horatio Cornblower

Very good.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

“Is this by that guy who ruined Star Wars?”

-some idiot who never saw the Star Wars Holiday Special

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do you drink expensive whiskey or expensive brandy in this room?

comment image

SonOfSpam

Try to open a Bud Light and the fire rushes out and engulfs you and your soul is suddenly being ferried down the river by Charon. FUCK THAT WOULD RULE WHERE IS SOME BUD LIGHT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m guessing that photo was taken in the Catskills, aka Borscht Belt (see also The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz.)

Don T

Camomille and LSD.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

That lady in the background looks like one of those fake fireplace fires made out of crinkly foil.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Chickens used to explode a lot more than they do now.

SonOfSpam

Cock explosions are the number one cause of pregnancy ppl forget

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ook. Also, Nook. E.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve noticed that heaven-sent miracles have tapered off since Bible days, too. Except on certain TV shows.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

“Life at home during isolation.”

Covalent Blonde

I feel like the only way my spicy cerveza preparada in a southern Missouri bar could only be improved by the DFO crew here to play “Father or Boyfriend?” the game where you try to guess the basis of the quarter-century difference in age of weirdos at a bar

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

How many seem related?

Gumbygirl

They are all Brotherdaddies!

SonOfSpam

I have no idea how those words in that order make sense, but I believe in you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Dad?”

SonOfSpam

I mean maybe. Your mother was very accommodating 50 years ago.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sure glad I added the quote marks. This explains a LOT.

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Funny how no Russians really ever looked like Omar Sharif, Julie Christie, or Geraldine Chaplin.comment image

Gumbygirl

They don’t make any sense at all, but for some reason(marijuana) it made me giggle.

herodotus450

Why not both?

Senor Weaselo

The fun part is that the make-outs might not give the answer away!

Horatio Cornblower

In the next fight we have one guy who died his beard bright yellow for the fight.

The other guy is from Philadelphia.

I’m rooting for them to knock each other out at the same time.

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Well, someone just added $14K to their $192K gambling roll, after an ugly and surprisingly dirty fight.

Congratulations, Hippo.

King Hippo

Man, they is nothing like sweating a close match where you bet the overwhelming favourite.

/prefers betting longshots, makes Hippo feel SMRT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

It’s definitely Mayweather.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, definitely June weather now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Fucking lazy, deceitful bastards.

Covalent Blonde

I think deep down we all knew you can’t trust a unicorn

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Mel Blount also looks like he travels the country solving crimes.
Hope he doesn’t travel north of the border and look into the disappearance of a number of hobos.

Horatio Cornblower

If Joe Tessitore is to be believed, (and why would you, after his stint on MNF?), someone bet $192K on the favorite in this fight. The odds are so stacked that, if the favorite wins, that $192K bet will net the lucky winner…

$14K.

I mean, why bother?

Sharkbait

THAT’S fuck you money.

Redshirt

Its house money. Its when you’re betting $15-$25 at Blackjack and you hit a side bet or two and you’ve gone from $200 to $2,000. You turn $1,000-$1,500 into the seductive purple $500 chips so you won’t be stupid enough to bet them, turn the rest into pretty black $100 chips and you see what happens.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which is much different then regular blowjob money.

Redshirt

“What?! I thought the “K” meant “okay”! Like ‘One hundred ninety-two dollars, okay?'”

Redshirt

I stumbled upon a life hack this morning. Nothing will wake you up faster than you hitting the wrong button on your phone, the phone suddenly making a loud siren and it saying “Emergency SOS Call in 5… 4… 3…”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Don T

Why teens? Kids ruin debauchery!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Breaking the Line: The Season in Black College Football That Transformed the Sport and Changed the Course of Civil Rights.
Have not read. Any idea what year that was? Or is it some year in the future?

Senor Weaselo

I feel like this Don’t game could be equally as good with Craig Ferguson and Geoff Peterson. I don’t know why but as much as I love me some Ryan Reynolds voiceovers, not caring much for Adam Scott.

Also the ball in the house game would have been perfect for Padre Weaselo and me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

Oh this be PERFECT

Game Time Decision

In bed

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Welp, I’ve accomplished my life’s work on twitter.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

There is a lot going on on that cover.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Covalent Blonde

I didn’t know someone wrote a book about my undergrad years

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That need to put down for posterior …. posterity.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I had a like from GWAR one time, but I peaked early.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Covalent Blonde

Baller

rockingdog

nice little summary re: working at home

Sharkbait

I can see commercial real estate getting hit hard. Why would companies pay for multiple floors in prime high rises, when now 1 or maybe 2 will do the trick.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

A few old favorites return in this week’s HRTN.

Also, I may have an actual plot in mind. It’ll likely derail into a senseless mass of stupid jokes and obscure references, but until that time I am feeling downright writer-y.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So THAT’S why my writing has sucked lately! Beastmode Ate My Mojo!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Speaking from experience and in simpatico with that guy, I really hate when that happens, as it did to me in several countries during my navy days. No further elaboration will be forthcoming.

Senor Weaselo

Pray for Rikki’s Mojo.

litre_cola

Love that it is posted so early. Really starts my Friday off superbly.

Covalent Blonde

This makes me so happy my pancreas is smiling!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sharkbait

And the Noose Truthing has started on twitter.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

Wow. All this time Roethlisberger was asking for a Choco Taco, he wasn’t talking about the frozen dessert.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

TWBS redhead kid

Brick Meathook

More from BRICK MEATHOOK’S LIBRARY

Today: The Mostly Dry Foodstuffs Kitchen Cabinet

comment image

TOP SHELF: Various dry baking ingredients, including three kinds of salt

MIDDLE SHELF: Spices and blends of the left (and these are stacked-in depth behind the front, at battalion strength); a middle section that is still not fully developed yet; and rice on the right, with several packages of instant microwave rice (I take these to work when I have something better to put on top of them, back when I went to work), and then ten pounds of basmati and long grained brown rice in sealed containers

BOTTOM SHELF: Look at that arsenal of low sodium canned black beans! They go with the rice. I’ve tried making dry beans but ain’t nobody got time for that. Then we have a solid array of canned tuna and chicken breast. Chunk light tuna in water is the best for tuna salad, IMO. Above them is a thin array of canned crab meat (for salads), salmon, and a bunch of tins of sardines and herring. These are supposed to be very healthy but when I open them they smell like cat food. They’ll expire on that shelf. Then on the right we have the “wet” sector, with various broths, sauces, and nine kinds of vinegar.

Doktor Zymm

Zingerman’s is having their summer sale and I just ordered $260 worth of stuff. I’m gonna have SO MANY awesome sauces and condiments and olive oils and such which will soon enhance my comparable lower right hand shelf

herodotus450

Eh, needs more unopened breadcrumb boxes.

Gumbygirl

I only have seven kinds of vinegar, I need to up my game!

Covalent Blonde

I mean, it’s true that I am trying to find a marketable resource for kidney stones, but I feel like your salt game is lacking. Double digits or GTFO!

Brick Meathook

I have iodized, fancy, and Jewish salt.

Don T

If you’re taking requests, medicine cabinet next.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Doktor Zymm

I made egg salad today, because that is the sort of nutty thing that happens during pandemic lockdowns. Despite overcooking the eggs by trying to use the slowcooker (did you know you can trigger the Maillard reaction while boiling eggs? It makes the whites turn kinda tan) it actually turned out delicious. I used garlic aioli instead of normal mayo, Old Bay instead of paprika, whole grain mustard, and then dumped in a bunch of Parmesan just for fun. It’s gonna make me some quality sandwiches

Brick Meathook

I made hard boiled eggs last night! I never thought of using Old Bay instead of paprika but I will now!

Gumbygirl

That sounds delicious! When I make hard boiled eggs, I start them in cold water, bring to a rolling boil, then cover them and turn off the gas for 14 minutes. I drain the water, and add ice and cold water, until they are cool enough to peel. They always come out great, without that nasty green ring around the yolks. I made them in the oven once, as an experiment. They had brown spots where they touched the rack.

Doktor Zymm

I usually do something similar, the slowcooker was an experiment! I feel like the slowcooker doesn’t heat up the house as much as using the stovetop, but I could be totally wrong on that.

Sharkbait

This is the best way to make hard boiled eggs. Apparently steaming them is a good option as well.

Redshirt

Yeah, Stroud can consume feces and expire. If you haven’t apologized by now or even tried to refute the accusations, you’re either a coward and/or a douchebag. Also, my theory is Uproxx isn’t doing an update because they are getting record visits to the last wrestling page and they are making a killing in ad revenue money.

In a somewhat related topic (not that there is any good smooth transition from a sexual predator getting their comeuppance), most of the Uproxx Wrestling Users went to some confusing-ass site called Discord. I did mention DFO as a possible alternative and a brief description of who we are, but it looks like no one has taken any of the Red Pills I left in With Leather’s smoldering ruins.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I’ve gotten Discord invitations, but the place just seems to be a rambling mass of intertwining conversations.

And fuck Stroud. I’m sorry I kept up with AEW news through him as long as I did.

Redshirt

The problem is its built like a chat room. A discussion thread allows replies so you have multiple conversations going at once. In a chat room, you have no clue what they are talking about.

When someone says “You are incredibly stupid and I hope you die alone long forgotten by the rest of society”, I want to know exactly what I said to earn that comment.

ballsofsteelandfury

“You are incredibly stupid and I hope you die alone long forgotten by the rest of society”

Isn’t that the opening paragraph of the Bengals’ season ticket offer email?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog

Found a funny:

The problem with using an exclamation point early in an email is that you’re locked into throwing them around for the rest of the correspondence.

Don T

comment image

Redshirt

I suddenly want a fight between Trump and Rick now.

Horatio Cornblower

If we get art like this I will change my position to be in favor of the wall.

Redshirt

“The neighbors complained when I put a 15 foot wall around my house, but I spent money to have a team of professionals paint what they saw before the wall was put up: me jumping on my trampoline wearing nothing but a sombrero and a smile.”

– Dennis Miller

King Hippo

Please tell me this is FOAR REELZ

Don T

I just shot the worst two pool tables in years. Luckily, I was playing with myself.
THIS WATERIN HOLE NEEDS WOMEN.

Don T

Technically, four terrible tables
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, Art Shell is still alive? I thought for sure I read somewhere he had passed away.

Mel Blount deserves a TV show about his adventures solving crimes around the country.

SonOfSpam

The voice of Bugs Bunny?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s not dead, he’s just been chilling in another dimension with the Cenobites.

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2017/10/31/shellraiser/

SonOfSpam

As the presenting sponsor, the Brees family is providing both financial and promotional support to “The Road to Equality” event, which is scheduled to be streamed July 15 and hosted by NFL Network’s Steve Wyche and CBS’ Charles Davis.

HAHAHAHA Stupid hick thinks he’s making a safe statement about respecting the flag, gets shit on by the entirety of the world, and has to do this shit as penance until he’s forgiven which he never will be because fuck this redneck glory boy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, through some more stuff at him.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

This could really up one’s tittyfucking game*

*I am currently 0-3

litre_cola

But you show promise and are great in the locker room.

Sharkbait

Someone (Moose) should make a look alike coupon and send it in to that address