As is tradition, a version of this must be played to announce the official beginning of summer vacation. This year, I’ve chosen Switzerland’s finest 80s metal band.

Marc Storace gave Kevin Cronin of REO Speedwagon a real run for his money in the permed mullet department.

 

Which all begs the self-loathing question – how come I couldn’t get laid in the 80s?

Oh right, the eisoptrophobia.

Anyway, to go down the Krokus rabbit hole, I’d forgotten that they built a moderately successful career in the 80s, with a mix of solid beats & one cover song per album.

For every “Screaming In The Night”,

there was a “Ballroom Blitz.

And to back up “Eat The Rich”,

“American Woman”.

It was a tried & true method, best employed by Van Halen in their use of a Kinks songs on their first album, their version of “You’re No Good” from Van Halen II, and their cover of “Pretty Woman” on their fifth.

Krokus, like most 80s metal bands, fell off when the 90s hit, but a version of the band still performs today, with a covers album called “Big Rocks” having come out in 2017 and a “Final tour” COVID-delayed until 2021.


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • UFC Fight Night: Poirier vs. Hooker: From Las Vegas
    • Prelims – 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Main card – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • Global Goal: Unite for Our Future Concert – 8:00PM | NBC / CTV
    • A musical celebration of scientists, innovators, health workers, activists and organizations working to develop and distribute COVID-19 tests, treatments and vaccines.
  • Top Rank Boxing on ESPN:
    • Berchelt-Valenzuela (junior lightweights) – 11:00 PM | ESPN / TSN
  • Super Rugby Aotearoa:
    • Crusaders vs. Chiefs – 11:30 PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
  • Australian Football League:
    • Hawthorn vs. North Melbourne – 4:00 AM | FS1

Rock on!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Dunstan

Ok, time to pick a movie for tonight. First four up in the queue are:

(1) Cromwell (1970)
(2) Urban Cowboy
(3) The Natural (have seen before, find a little cheesy but it is sports)
(4) Knives Out (saw in the theatre back when people did such things)

I admit that’s a weird set of options.

SonOfSpam

Dunno 1, 2 is stupid, 3 is good, 4 is great

I’d pick 5.

ballsofsteelandfury

5- Vacation with Step-Mom

SonOfSpam

In a certain kind of film, step-moms seem to be attractive and horny.

I’ve generally only seen 3-4 minutes of those films, so I don’t know how they end.

Be kind, rewind.

Brick Meathook

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Dunstan

Ok, “forget movies and watch Sara Baeilles videos” it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZMQ0OKVO80

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I started watching Knives Out just this very evening but stopped cause the Dr. Mrs. fell asleep.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/puts on expert hat

Adelaide isn’t very good

Dunstan

Hey, I have very fond memories of spending an Australia Day in an Adelaide pub, listening as the locals sang along to “Down Under” on the jukebox.

SonOfSpam

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ballsofsteelandfury

To be fair, Brisbane IS very good.

But yeah, you’re right.

Don T

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SonOfSpam

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Brick Meathook

Did Krokus play Hocus Pocus? Oh wait Hocus Pocus was by Focus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFDW9b_ejfI

SonOfSpam

Greatest song ever.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wet ball between his legs?

Wait, I had something for this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Lance?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, do I try my new whiskey, make a cocktail, have a beer, or stick with water?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

MURRAY PRESENT!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
SonOfSpam

Your sister gave me diamonds, and I give em to your wife

Don T

“Wasp Network” is great! It’s looks pretty authentic too. I won’t bitch about the accen—OK OK, one observation. All Cubans say “Ohga”, never “Olga”.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Balls, why are there so many people at the Gabba? I thought they were restricting crowds more than this

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

This is the first game of relaxed restrictions. They can fit up to 10,000!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So a contact tracing experiment, got it

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS ADELAIDE-BRISBANE GAME I CALL IT THE EXTRAS IN CARRIE BECAUSE TWO GUYS ARE COVERED IN BLOOD

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The bears will be there soon.

ballsofsteelandfury

Funny because they used to be called the Brisbane Bears!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh my

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, not my reason, but that is good staunch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HAAAAAAA! Found it!

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Mr. Ayo

Your orange placid penis?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To be fair; I am eating Cheetos, so orange is obvious.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Adelaide v Brisbane is going to be on FS2 in about ten minutes!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I watched a replay of the Essendon game this morning. It was…exciting.

ballsofsteelandfury

That was quite a finish, huh?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NOT what she said.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Tit bone bird shirt.

Gratliff

Think I like this better than the Freddie Mercury version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9DW5PwPxH4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Actually a couple versions from that concert that I like more than the original.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5703Rrk1wr4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Canada is very similar to Canada.

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Mr. Ayo

OUdd

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

I’m not reading all of that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s about burritos…… you will…… you wiiiiiiiiiiiill.

Mr. Ayo

I will eat them. Needs more menus though.

Don T

I’ll have a Pre-Modern burrito, extra trilobites.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I made a deal with myself that I can drink as much as I want tonight (we’re watching Knives Out in a bit) as long as I have one glass of water in between each unit of alcohol.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s the proper wine pairing for the James Beard garlic chicken that Yeah Right introduced us to?

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2019/07/21/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-chefs-series-james-beards-chicken-and-40-cloves/

Mr. Ayo

Whatever you like.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope you meant revenge-flavored chardonnay, because that’s what we opened.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I was hoping your neighbors were going to die tonight…… but if you let it breath for a few minutes we’ll have to deal with it. Maybe steak tomorrow?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like my neighbors!

I’m really lucky in that regard. Everyone around me is pretty great, and two of them are so quiet they might as well be ghosts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well, it IS best to get out of your neighborhood to lower the odds of being suspects.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well, the other Coke is pictured.

Gratliff

Another one of those bands that I remember being just hammered with by the radio growing up but seems almost non-existent on Michigan radio is Pink Floyd. The sole exception being “Another Brick in the Wall, Pt 2”. It’s so bad up here that the algorithm has even removed “The Happiest Days of Our Lives” when it actually makes air.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFjmvfRvjTc

herodotus450

Well for obvious reasons the Phillip Morris sponsored “Have a Cigar” isn’t allowed to be played anymore

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I never hated Pink Floyd, but I admired the balls of those that didn’t mind saying they did.comment image
Plus, I saw Sex Pistols in San Antonio at Randy’s Rodeo on their only US tour. Or was that Rush?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered

Shub-Niggurath only likes free form jazz.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered

That is either a fat squirrel or groundhogs can now climb trees.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

YOU!! DO NOT INSULT SHUB-NIGGURATH, KING OF THE SQUIRRELS!

ArmedandHammered

Well, he needs to either perform mitosis or eat less sacrifices.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[Dog barks in background]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Happy Saturday….. even if your basement is flooded.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Here’s Boeing’s groovy “Tiger Lounge” concept for the lower level of the early B-747s. This would have been in the belly of the aircraft, beneath the main passenger deck. It never made it past concept because the airlines said they preferred to use that area for highly profitable revenue cargo that didn’t whine or get drunk or take up ten cubic feet of wasted space per item. Live lobsters in shipping containers pack tight and don’t complain.

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Mr. Ayo

Companies would be so much more awesome if they didn’t prioritize profits.

Brick Meathook

I need my fucking lobsters

Mr. Ayo

If those sea bugs are so important, you can just move.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

smh if those Saudi hijackers had seen that belowdecks they would have been too distracted to do their job

Viva La Tabula Raza

Plus, they’re afraid of shellfish, just like the Joooooz.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I flew on a Pan Am 747 in June 1970 from JFK to Frankfurt on our way to Istanbul. I think that was within the first six months after it went into service. I was very excited. As a steerage passenger, I didn’t get to see any of that fancy shit posted above by Brick.

herodotus450

Scott’s Pogrom vs. The World is a very different movie.

WCS

Definitely seems like something 95% of Trump’s base would jerkoff to.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Depends on what color Scott is. Actually, wait, no it doesn’t. They like fear-porn too.

WCS

Nothing really on tonight.

Time to watch Casino.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

“Robin, we’ll have to huddle together for warmth.”
“Batman, I’ve seen you pull ‘bat shark repellent’ out of your utility belt. You’re telling me you don’t have a heating device in there?”
“Nope. We must huddle together. For warmth. Yes.”

Gumbygirl

Tonight on Svengoolie: 7th Voyage of Sinbad.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, drunk enough to click on one of Trump’s Utube surveys. First question was, do you approve of President Trump’s policies. Yes, no, or other. Clicked other, typed “Absolutely not fuck that fucking motherfucking criminal.” It would not let me submit without giving all my contact information. My answer stands.

herodotus450

Rian Johnson directed Terriers, the tv show? To the Archives!

Oh, well only one episode.

herodotus450

AND two of the most well regarded Breaking Bad episodes, I wonder what he’s been up to recently…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Are you saying you’d like to see…more?

WCS

Speaking of going to eleven…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib9Jz9iydeQ

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Senor Weaselo

Fun fact: When/If I ever get married, I’m putting “Stonehenge” on my list of requests for the band.

herodotus450

Mrs. Weaselo later that night: “Wait, I thought you said 1’…”

Don T

And then hen do “BigBottom” duet with the Sra.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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WCS
Don T

True. It’s all on the intonation and hands.

ballsofsteelandfury

That Van Halen Pretty Woman video is just begging to be played at Volume 11

Viva La Tabula Raza

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SonOfSpam

All Van Halen up to 1984 should be at 11 at least.

Gonna go listen to Unchained and beat off brb

Viva La Tabula Raza

While we were waiting for our A School classes to form up Summer 1981, I was trying to convince one of my boot camp buddies to go see the Kinks with me in San Diego. He was from Manhattan and had never heard of them, so I said, c’mon man, you’ve heard them, they did You Really Got Me. He’s like, bullshit, that was Van Halen. He did end up going to the show.
I wouldn’t find out until 18 months later that Oingo Boingo had released a cover of the same song on their first LP, Only A Lad, at just about the very same time I was seeing the Kinks in SD. It was a very different arrangement than either the Kinks or VH versions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEZbmALENt4

Don T

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SonOfSpam

Yeah, we were good for like 3 whole weeks. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

King Hippo

Guess who Pretend Unlocked Achievement: Invincible!!??

30-0-8, 98 points (I just HAD to fucking draw Norwich in home finale, huh) beat Newcastle 3-2 in FA Cup (almost blew 3 goal lead in last 5 minutes) and Shempions (1-nil on 120th minute tally) finals.

ah is a true Pretend hero, ppls of Manchester!!

Don T

Drinks at The Manhole wooooo!

SonOfSpam

The Blue Oyster is also open. WIDE open.

herodotus450

“Despite his impeccable record, we must insist on the firing of Manager Hippo due to his constant state of opioid abuse/withdrawal, and insistence that his coaching staff is entirely petite, shouldered blonde women.”
-London Times Picayune, 2045

Senor Weaselo

It’s a Treble!

ballsofsteelandfury

I remember Krokus!!

I never knew they were Swiss.

SonOfSpam

Same. Was pretty sure I knew they were Eurotrash, but not specifically Swiss, like all the other famous Swiss bands like, uh

Viva La Tabula Raza

Meh. Swiss are just French with a bath. My ancestors were from Basel.

Don T

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Senor Weaselo

There hasn’t been a quid pro quo for moving the capital to Mar-A-Lago… yet.

Viva La Tabula Raza

The third concert I attended in my whole life was Sweet at the Santa Monica Civic Center in what must have been 1975 or early 1976. I had the 8-tracks of Desolation Boulevard and Give Us a Wink, which between the two had most of their best tunes. Opening act was Sam Hagar, touring on his first solo album after leaving Montrose. When Sweet played their song “AC/DC,” a 12-foot papier mache cock and balls was lowered from the rafters above the stage and started spurting confetti as if in a money shot. It was pretty fucking funny. So when I heard Krokus do Ballroom Blitz around 10 years later, I loved the trip down memory lane.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32SZbmHt9uA

SonOfSpam

That’s a great concert prop.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m really surprised it didn’t catch on.

yeah right

I saw Krokus open for Rainbow and Pat Travers in Davenport Iowa in 1980. They fucking rocked.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I saw Pat Travers at the August 1979 Texxas Jam at the Cotton Bowl from about 20 feet or so just as I was getting off on way too many tabs of blotter acid, and it was a life changing experience. Billy Thorpe doing Children of the Sun was pretty remarkable too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What? Come on, you can’t have a “Saturday Night Main Event” post without using the proper theme music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIs5StN8J-0

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It is known.” – all the little Hulkamaniacs

WCS

Just so much cocaine.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes indeed, prime coke days.

Game Time Decision

For the Canucks: hey look Fashion Television is on

Gumbygirl

Jeanne Beker! That shit was mesmerizing if you were really high.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

I was at the zoo and I did a monkey call to impress my kids and a monkey talked back to me so I did the call again and it did a call, back and forth, just hootin and howling to each other until I made eye contact and it was just another dad also trying to impress his kids

Brick Meathook

In the opening to the “Ballroom Blitz” video they all sound like Tommy Wiseau.

Don T

You’re not the only one, Rob! Life started in the 90s. Rock on, Prof.

ArmedandHammered

I love that in Screaming in the Night, there seem to be so many makeup artist and hairstylists in the post apocalypse society and they seem to be doing well.