Eventual Balls Thoughts XX

Inspired by Sharkbait’s Friday drinking posts, I got myself a bottle of gin and started experimenting with some gin cocktails. The first one I made, as is tradition, was the Gin and Tonic.

First impression: Gin is a very refreshing liquor!

I was honestly not expecting that. I should point out, however, that I bought a bottle of Hendrick’s, which I know is a very particular and special type of gin

Second impression: I do not like Tonic Water.

I used Q Tonic, which I guess is not top of the line, but I’ve heard good things. I don’t know if it was the quinine or what, but it was VERY bitter. If I wanted something that bitter, I’d give my ex a call.

My next adventure into gin drinks had to be, as is Southern California tradition, a Gin and Juice. Made famous, of course, by Snoop. Obligatory:

The uncensored version is best, but this video is hilarious.

As for the drink: OH THAT’S THE STUFF!

No wonder Snoop sang about it! Granted, I have a sweet tooth, so this is right up my alley. It’s a perfect combination that, depending on your ratio, can get you fucked up QUICK. I feel like fucking a ho right about now…

***

The Week in DFO

Here are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:

h/t Moose

Y’all can take away my 17 year-old stripper girlfriend’s pole when you tear it away from her K-Y Jellied hands!

Scotchnaut

***

h/t Moose

***

The following people are going to be in VERY big trouble for RSVP’ing and then not showing up.

Lennay Kekua

Lennay Kekuua

Lennai Kekua

Lenay Kekua

etc.

RTD

I RSVP’d as Dixie Normous and got a personal message from the Veep.

SonOfSpam

I RSVP’d as Hugh G. Rection and got a tax break.

Brick

***

h/t Moose

I don’t know what’s going to explode first, me or that stupid fucking car when it runs over a rabbit.

Horatio

***

I am starting a new movement called Black Lives Make Batter for all non-PoCs who have been made horny by black women and men (thinking of you Zymm).

Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

I’m pretty sure that’s already a Pornhub Category…

Balls

Well then time for my backup, fecund the police

Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

***

h/t Unsurprised

***

h/t Moose

I got the clap just looking at that

Brick

You already had it.

Moose

***

h/t Unsurprised

I could do that.

Mr. Ayo

Whatcha doin’ later?

Moose

At the current rate, apparently you.

Mr. Ayo

If you are in that posture, I’ll be quick.

Moose

***

h/t Moose

I could do that.

Mr. Ayo

As could I, I mean how hard is it to take a beating like that?

ArmedandHammered

Yeah, but can you do it without getting an erection?

Balls

Easily, as long as I don’t take one of my pills I don’t have to worry about it.

ArmedandHammered

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

I can’t bring myself to watch those Friendly marble matches. The marbles just don’t try as hard when there’s nothing at stake.

Dunstan

***

Hulk Hogan fucked Bubba the Love Sponge’s wife and the audio was made public.

This concludes “Things I Know About Pro Wrestling”

SonOfSpam

And he won $130 million from Gawker, thanks to right-wing businessman Peter Thiel, who didn’t like their coverage of his social life. So he bankrolled Hogan’s case simply to bust up the site.

This has been “Beerguyrob fills in your gaps”.

Beerguyrob

Is that the name of your amateur porno tape?

Balls

Beerguyrob Fills In Your Gapes

Moose

Nothing amateur about it.

Beerguyrob

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Brick
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

h/t Moose

I really hope that’s his mom.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hey, if not, she’s paying for his trip, so

SonOfSpam

I really hope it’s on Pornhub damn soon.

Moose

***

Getting a huge kick out of the English thinking that a “sweltering” evening is 81 degrees.

Horatio

Pfft, that’s nothing. Here in Dublin we get to shelter in place at full moons so we don’t get burnt to a crisp 

bk109

***

h/t Moose

***

Found a funny:

50% of Roger Federer‘s name is “er”

rockindog

***

h/t Moose

This could really up one’s tittyfucking game*

*I am currently 0-3

SonOfSpam

But you show promise and are great in the locker room.

litre_cola

***

h/t Don T
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

h/t Moose

In bed

Game Time Decision

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t WCS
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Moose
h/t Brick
h/t Brick
h/t Brick
h/t Brick
h/t Brocky
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Brick
h/t Brick
h/t Brick
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Brick

***

Kaylin is an excellent studio analyst, beyond the pervosaur factoUr.

King Hippo

Nothing’s beyond the pervosaur factor, damn it!

bk109

***

h/t Moose

***

found a funny:

me: it doesn’t have a tail so i’m pretty sure it’s a hamster

tech support: okay fine right-click the hamster

rockindog

***

h/t Moose

Shouldn’t this hold 3 tacos to be called a tricerataco?

ArmedandHammered

***

h/t Moose
h/t Brick
h/t Brick
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Moose

***

h/t Moose

I’ll have a Pre-Modern burrito, extra trilobites.

Don T

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Don T

***

Ok, time to pick a movie for tonight. First four up in the queue are:

(1) Cromwell (1970)

(2) Urban Cowboy

(3) The Natural (have seen before, find a little cheesy but it is sports)

(4) Knives Out (saw in the theatre back when people did such things)

I admit that’s a weird set of options.

Dunstan

Dunno 1, 2 is stupid, 3 is good, 4 is great

I’d pick 5.

SonOfSpam

5- Vacation with Step-Mom

Balls

In a certain kind of film, step-moms seem to be attractive and horny.

I’ve generally only seen 3-4 minutes of those films, so I don’t know how they end.

Be kind, rewind.

SonOfSpam

***

Here’s this week’s Balls’ Choice from Request Line:

h/t Dunstan

***

Thank you to everyone one for providing quality laughs and gifs/pics to look at. Have a great week!

ballsofsteelandfury
Latest posts by ballsofsteelandfury (see all)
0 0 vote
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
71 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Senor Weaselo

What is the appropriate juice for gin and juice?

Gumbygirl

I like grapefruit in mine.

Don T

Passion fruit cocktail. For real. Try it.
It ain’t coercion without a “!”

Brick Meathook

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t know about fashion, but these seem stylish AND practical.

ALXMAC

FOAR tWBS; tears in my eyes:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

Which Senate subcommittee is this?

ArmedandHammered

Senate Intelligence….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Braces is the independent.

ArmedandHammered

Desperate to please anyone, just to be accepted?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Very knowledgeable with tech.

Viva La Tabula Raza

looks a bit like a youthful Geddy Lee, TBH.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am pretty sure she is female, but I see a bit, but Geddy would be one ugly woman.

ArmedandHammered

the top-middle guy looks like he is on his 4th time through 10th grade.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Looks like Eastern European…. but is US is the parts store counter guy who always has to ask someone else except for items in his immediate visual range (ice scrapers and oil).

Viva La Tabula Raza

Same for top right guy.

Horatio Cornblower

I would swear that the guy in the upper right corner was my high school bus driver, and that the kid in the lower right corner was on that bus.

Sharkbait

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, I’m on a teleconference; why do you ask?

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Not gonna lie, I would party* with them.

*fall asleep early and then wonder where my wallet went

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Repeat Monday:

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Hey, that’s a goal!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Indeed! And an assist.

Horatio Cornblower

Trump and his maga-chuds lose another one, with the Supreme Court shooting down Louisiana’s stupid admitting privilege requirement for abortion providers. Vote was 5-4 with the increasingly admirable John Roberts joining the majority.

Kavanaugh dissented, which is a reminder of how important the Presidential and Senate elections are this year, what a goddamn disaster Hillary was in 2016, and why Susan Collins should be fired face first into the Sun.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

It’s just a theory.

Game Time Decision

Bigfoot has way more empathy for humans than the creature on the left has

SonOfSpam

Can also spell better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Correct, similar in ass size only.

ArmedandHammered

Probably has better table manners as well, plus being able to form complete, coherent sentences….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better TV show.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098818/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

We’re doing a landscaping project at our house, and as a result, and somewhat ironically, there are two Mexicans building a wall in my yard.

Game Time Decision

Are they paying for said wall?

Horatio Cornblower

Much like Trump, I am claiming that my wife is paying for it, even though in the long run this is somehow going to come out of my pocket.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Dunstan

Chthulu 2020: Why settle for the lesser evil?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think Balls just needs the one episode.

Sharkbait

SonOfSpam

“Perro.”

Reminded me of “Golly” in Airplane

SonOfSpam

Now I wanna watch all the Beavis & Butthead episodes with Spanish subtitles.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

That 1963 aerial of LAX posted above is incorrect. Here is an updated version for your records:

comment image

SonOfSpam

LAX Truthers are everywhere.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Jennifer Aniston at her prom 1987; did he or didn’t he?

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Hand around her waist but leaning away from the body, I’m saying no.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed; the touching finger does not look like the eventual penetration finger. She probably banged older dudes (dudettes in college, just a phase).

Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe he got a slip of the tongue, and was able to squeeze a boob. Went home with one a cat couldn’t scratch. Still beats off about it 33 years later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Having not gone to my prom but admiring Jennifer for some time this hypothesis seems as legitimate as any.