Your MXC Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

NFL Notes:

  • Obviously, the big news from the weekend is the Pats signing Cam Newton to a one-year deal.
    • With incentives, it’s worth up to $7.5 million.
    • This will be the ultimate Belichick “it’s the system, not the player” move, as he has Newton, Jarrett Stidham AND Brian Hoyer at his disposal.
    • Kurt Warner has a thinkpiece where he tries to relate to where Cam is.
  • Other Patriots news: they’ve been penalized for the video incident in Cincinnati last year.
    • They’ve been fined $1.1 million and lost a 2021 third-round draft pick.
      • The Patriots’ team production crew also is barred from filming games during the 2020 season.
    • The NFL also banned David Mondillo, who was suspended by the Patriots at the time of the NFL investigation, from NFL facilities until further notice. Before the league’s discipline, Mondillo was terminated by the Patriots.
  • Noted immunologist Mark Davis questions whether the NFL will need a bubble.
    • “You can keep players from the fans, but you can’t keep players from the players,” Raiders owner Mark Davis said in the Las Vegas Review-Journal.
    • He is also not a big fan of keeping eight rows clear & selling ads, believing that keeping fans away will cost more than revenue.
      • “You think I want to sell advertising on the Black Hole seats?” he said of the plan that would cost him up to 3500 seats per game in their inaugural Las Vegas season.

Found an end-of-Pride month funny:

MXC Monday – Episode 201: Food Service Professionals vs. Hobbyists

“It’s Arts & Crafts versus Carts & Hash”. This episode has “Wall Bangers” and “Log Drop”, so if you enjoy Asian head trauma this episode is for you. There’s more CTE in this game than the NFL admits to in a year.


Tonight’s … entertainment?: nothing good on Canadian TV

  • Wrasslin’:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
  • Antiques Roadshow: “Vintage Philadelphia” – 8:00PM | PBS
    • Flashback to phenomenal Philadelphia finds from 2006 including an asscher-cut yellow diamond ring from around 1930, a Charles Rohlfs mahogany chair and a 1958 Picasso drawing with documentation.
  • The Titan Games – 8:00PM | NBC
    • Action continues in the West Division, with Victor Cruz and stunt woman Jessie Graff as pro Titans waiting to take on this round’s winner on Mt. Olympus, in the consummate athletic test.
    • The Rock’s version of “Ninja Warrior” isn’t half bad, but they still do those sappy, hazily-shot “personal stories” that wear on the viewer.
      • MXC is, like – “what’s your name? HERE’S YOUR PAIN!”
  • Eddie – 9:00 PM | ESPN
    • The story of college basketball coach Eddie Sutton, delving not just into his 800-plus wins at Creighton, Arkansas, Kentucky and Oklahoma State, but exploring issues of substance abuse, father-son relationships and perseverance.
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Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

HIGHLIGHTS FROM BRICK’S TRIP TO HAWTHORNE & INGLEWOOD:

The 405 east of LAX at 5:30 PM on a Monday

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ballsofsteelandfury

Didya get some donuts from Randy’s?

Brick Meathook

wrong overpass!

ballsofsteelandfury

So close though!

Brick Meathook

this is arbor vitae

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Titty Punching Lesbians.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

(TM)

Game Time Decision

trying to figure out if they are real or not has really changed. I remember a gentler version of this, but what do i know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If they are not, she had some natural bulk first.

Brick Meathook

HIGHLIGHTS FROM BRICK’S TRIP TO HAWTHORNE & INGLEWOOD:

The future home of your Los Angeles Chargers!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

Is that the groom?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think he is a traditional gift, but I like your idea better.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Joe Biden has forgotten more about civil rights than most of us will ever know

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Definitely true taking police departments into account.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

HIGHLIGHTS FROM BRICK’S TRIP TO HAWTHORNE & INGLEWOOD:

SpaceX Headquarters

Elon Musk poops in this building
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Dunstan

And stores it all in jars in a vault there, too.

Brick Meathook

He store some of it in this vertical tube . . .
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. . . and some in this 4100′ horizontal tube
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Elon Musk is full of surprises! That why he saves them!
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It seems like it would be the easiest thing in the world to change that to “Poo competition”.

Mr. Ayo

Did you get a picture of the Elon Musk worshippers?

Or were they scheduled for the NUMMI factory that day?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

I take hyperpoops but no one wants to let me ruin their LA neighborhood

Don T

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WCS

STRONG TAEK

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

Things I will never respond to:
“Is it my turn to speak now?”
“Do you think this is a game?”
“You look slim in your pictures”

Dunstan

Alright, well, this will really lighten up the mood, but: it looks like I may have the COVID.

This weekend I developed a cough and fever, on top of a previous stiff back which I hadn’t thought relevant at the time. I’m awaiting instructions from my doctor’s office about where to report for testing, though that is more of a “satisfy your curiosity” thing than anything else — the false negative rate is sufficiently high that even with a negative test I’ll need to stay quarantined, and conversely there’s no particular treatment even if I’m confirmed to have it. (Except of course for Doctor Trump’s Magical Elixir and “UV rays inside the body”. But as I regularly suntan my taint that’s already taken care of.)

Not sure how I would have acquired it — I’ve been almost entirely at home by myself, with the exception of walks, shopping trips, and “socially distant” outdoor meetings with friends. But then, it’s also not clear how I would have gotten any other viral infection that would explain my symptoms.

My symptoms are pretty mild. I often go an hour or more without coughing, and the fever is responding to medication. Mainly it’s just the fact that I didn’t get much sleep last night, and of course the anxiety about what this could turn into. Fortunately I have no shortness of breath, which is obviously the big concern.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Good luck, man. I figured it was only a matter of time before someone here might contract. Thankfully you’re young enough to probably beat it out, at least as near as I can estimate your age from your posts… If I get that shit, turning 61 in 3 weeks, with underlying health problems, I’m probably all done.

King Hippo

My home-bound NC State freshman thought she had it. Her best friend’s TWIN sister caught it, and they had been hanging out lots.

Tested negative on both types of test, though.

TheRevanchist

College girl twins? Do they need a place to stay and drink a lot and recover?

Not for me, but Brick. I worry about his level of testosterone sometimes.

Brick Meathook

Do they do laundry? Otherwise they have to be rich.

Dunstan

I’m 46. And I’m only PRE-diabetic! So not without risk factors, but not super vulnerable either. I’ve generally been pretty healthy, much more so than I probably should be considering how little care I’ve taken of myself.

Viva La Tabula Raza

As Kinky Friedman said (though he likely stole the quote from someone else), “If I knew I was gonna live so long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”

Brick Meathook

Mickey Mantle

King Hippo

Get. Some. Tussionex.

/your friendly neighboUrhood quack

//also remember DFO’s new “no dying” rule

Viva La Tabula Raza

Great, after the tWBS horse is already out of the fucking barn.

King Hippo

talk about beating a ded horse ,, amirite??

herodotus450

You’ll just have to substitute “Bob” with “Covid” in your head:
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TheRevanchist

That shit ain’t no joke. My buddy’s grandma died last week after getting a positive test the week before. I wish you the best recovery possible.

Don T

If you haven’t lost your sense of smell or taste, you’re OK. Train your senses with greasy steaks and ice cream.

Dunstan

Taste and smell are still working. Certainly I can smell my own sweaty self. I didn’t have much appetite yesterday but today is a little better.

Don T

Hang on, man. You’re one of the good ones.

WCS

Terrific. At least it’s mild. I know a couple of people who had it. One described as, “trying to breathe through a straw underwater,” and the other, “razor blades in your chest.”

You hang in there, buddy. We’re all here for you. Oh, and hey, Herr Orange recommends drinking bleach to clean your insides. HE”S NEVAR RONG LIBRARRDS!!!!!111!! MAAGA

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not sure how I would have acquired it — I’ve been almost entirely at home by myself, with the exception of walks, shopping trips, and “socially distant” outdoor meetings with friends.

This is just heartbreaking. If you are going to catch it, it should be as a result of a sweaty threesome with a pair of sexy COVID ward nurses.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hope you don’t have that shit. If you do may it be mild and go away from you.

Dunstan

If the virus is female, that would be the usual response.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, mild is not crazy, so there’s that.

Gumbygirl

I don’t ” prayers” but I’m sending good “thoughts” to you! Drink some tea with honey and whiskey-that was my Grandma’s cure for everything.

Brick Meathook

HIGHLIGHTS FROM BRICK’S TRIP TO HAWTHORNE & INGLEWOOD:

Jack Northrop Field

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King Hippo

Did you remember to tell them you were One of teh Good Ones??

TheRevanchist

You should have stuck to eating better quality food in Torrance and Carson.

Don T

Breathtaking cyclone fence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Meh, he can always go buy a pair of used panties from a vending machine.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In 1985 they had not perfected the Smell Seal (R) technology yet, pay attention.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I was in Japan from 1982-1984, and did not give one single solitary isolated shit about any Smell Seal Technology. In my defense, I had actually voted for Reagan in 1980. I’m much better now, though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Like I said; pay attention.

Viva La Tabula Raza

herodotus450

Mr. Ayo
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He says it is not up to debate, but I’d argue that the criteria is at least in half subjective. The one thing we have to admit is that he has used both arms to do a LOT of research.

Redshirt

Its 370 actress, Moose. Listed Best to Worst. At some point, I think he had to use some, er, um, mechanical aid or else risk repetitive motion injuries to his arms and severe carpal tunnel to his hands.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For a young man with motivation that is maybe a years work. A good weekend, one can toss 10 – 20 off the list.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

The poodle we had when I was a kid never emptied her ash trays. I was glad when she fell in the pool and drowned.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Fell.”

Redshirt

What a shame. All that effort for his life’s work, and he’s wrong multiple times over.

Redshirt

/ found a funny

With removing Confederate Memorials being all the craze today, can we get some helicopters and recreate “Apocalypse Now” at Stone Mountain? Preferably during a KKK rally or an Alt-Right Protest?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

is pee an add on?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

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Viva La Tabula Raza

As Maxwell Smart put it, “Missed it by that much.”comment image

Porky Prime

Why wouldn’t Belichick spend money on a Cam?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Without incentives it is backup money…..

Porky Prime

I should have put more thought into a camera pun.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t you have a backup file?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Because he’s white and doesn’t have to worry about cops pulling him over for no reason?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think Porky just underestimated my ability to murder a joke.

ballsofsteelandfury

Because he makes the MILF of the Month buy it for him?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I read somewhere recently that the featured space suit is going to be auctioned off with an expected price of $200-300K.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

“That light is not quite white. Bring me bulbs 72 to 83.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That Harry Potter joke is fucking hilarious.

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Game Time Decision

Hippo calculating lessor footy odds for this weekend

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was thinking offended Potter fans, but yours is much better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m so proud that I recognize that gif as being from Ghost in the Shell.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That goes for me and your aunts and uncles.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s Monday night, so……

Porky Prime

Rectum? Nearly killed em!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

“Scroll, scroll, scroll! Dammit, Porky!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“Waitress, there’s a hair in my drink!”
“Yeah? Floss your teeth, bub.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Waaaaaaait a minute! We wear merkins!”

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Stop it Donald, that tickles!”
-Vladimir

King Hippo

GROTESQUE AND SHAMEFUL

Don T

It says “Party”, but screams “Prison”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which is the other reason Mr. Hippo likes it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, feels good, don’t it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Also, how come a guy from the south with a name like “Cam” isn’t a NASCAR driver?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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TheRevanchist

Even if Cam Newton won a SB, he’d still be hated in Boston. I feel bad for the man, but hope he earns all 7.5 million.

Viva La Tabula Raza

As long as he moves into a nice place in Dorchester or Brockton (not sure if there actually is one), he will at least get some support from some folks (full disclosure: I was born in Brockton, back when it was an Italian/Portuguese ghetto rather than an African-American ghetto). Nah, he’ll buy a place in North Attleboro.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hate the Patriots a little less now….. HEAR ME OUT, PEOPLE.

Mainly because of what this signing will do to certain fans….. I want to use the term pearl clutching, maybe swastika clutching?

I also hope he earns the max. contract, but man, that guy is beat to shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Is that the Portrait of Dorian Gray Tabby?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This joke is undermeowed!

King Hippo

Yeah, I think he’s borken for good. Not looking forward to what the Massholes shout if/when that hunch proves true.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Pats sign Cam Newton.
“Everybody hide your laptops!”
—PSA on Patriots corkboards throughout the complex at Foxboro.

Senor Weaselo

“What’s your name?”
“…”
“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! Because we’re going to dub it for comedic purposes anyway.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

But only Baretta has actually murdered someone IRL.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, while guilty of misdemeanors and minor felonies, Starsky and Hutch have no taste for murder.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m embarrassed to say I was a big fan of both shows when they aired while I was in high school. S&H had the cooler car, but Baretta had the cooler bird.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I liked Daisy Dukes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh shit, maybe I was smoking too much doob.