Road to Retirement – Sunday Evening thread.

litre_cola
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Good evening from your hat, hope you are all safe, sound and are drunk again as Sunday hangovers are the worst.

When our dear internet uncle TWBS passed away, he and I were working on a fiction thing. We got a bit into it and then he left us, making us all better throughout his run.

From Blazepress

Here is Part 1.

On a dreary day with no sports, or no prospect of sports TWBS decides he has had enough with the state of things in North Carolina.

Fuck it Dave (Twbs’ truck), we’re heading north to Canada.  With what those boys are planning this could be a gold mine. I mean 10 months of winter won’t be too bad right?

Our intrepid traveler makes his way to the border of Washington and British Columbia.

PEACE ARCH BORDER CROSSING;

Dave rolls up.

TWBS: Hello gents, just lookin to pass through and retire on a pug farm with two internet friends.

CBP; Whoa whoa whoa, what is with the impoliteness mon ami?

TWBS: Shit, yeah sorry. Good day, at your leisure could you please process my documents so I can make my way north? Thank you for your time.

CBP: Thank you, that’s more acceptable. You’ll need to work on that.

TWBS: (inner monologue) Fucking hell, just get me to the farm where I can grow my weed and the pugs can run wild and free.

CBP: What is your purpose to coming to Canada?

TWBS: Well you see, these two friends of mine have opened a farm to rescue flat faced dogs and I am a retired vet so they asked for help.

CBP: How do you plan to support yourself?

TWBS: With my two legs, heh heh heh.

CBP: (Scowls) Not doing yourself any favoUrs.

TWBS: I am retired and my 401k didn’t take a beating during the Grudenvirus outbreak.

CBP: Grudenvirus?

TWBS: Yeah, you know, Gruden made commercials for Corona, so I did a little play on words there.

CBP: Scowls again.

CBP: We are going to move you into secondary screening.

TWBS (inner monologue) Fuck, if they search Dave, I could be in deep trouble here.

Search finishes.

CBP: We found some strange things in your truck sir. Not illegal, but concerning, so we have a few questions. Why do you have 4 fleshlights, random seeds, dead squirrels and so many stripper business cards from Vegas?

TWBS: Ok, well the 4 fleshlights are for a friend, we kept trying to send them to him but they never got through customs due to bacteria. The stripper cards, well, I was unsure about your internet and a man has to do what a man has to do. The seeds are from my buddy Weaselo and they are hot peppers as I assume your cuisine is as bad as the English. As for the squirrels, they were to feed the pugs.

CBP: There is a lot to unpack there.

TWBS: Its only some fleshlights, seeds, cards, and squirrels, I wouldn’t say it took me long to pack.

CBP: (scowls) Not helping.  Also, a guy named Weasel?

TWBS: Its Weaselo, and he is an upstanding musician with a penchant for spice.

CBP: Sir, bath salts are illegal up here. So you are saying you’re acquaintances with someone in the drug trade?

TWBS: No, no, he likes hot food.

CBP: So you are acquaintances with a drug dealer named Weasel who likes hot food? This doesn’t look good on your prospects for entry.

TWBS: I am soUrry.

CBP: That’s better. You can go now. But we are keeping the fleshlights, seeds, squirrels and especially the stripper cards. Why are they stuck together?

TWBS: I spilled Betty Crocker icing on them. I have a penchant for sweet and sticky (heh)

CBP: Scowls.

Begrudgingly the CBP allow our protagonist through the border and he makes his way to downtown Vancouver for his meetup.

Granville St, Vancouver, Canada

Dave pulls up and TWBS takes a look around.

Just a quick stop to meet BeerguyRob and then on my way to the farm. I gotta say this place is gorgeous with just the right amount of polite seediness.

How am I going to know who BeerguyRob is?  His message was pretty cryptic, just said to meet him at The Morrissey Tavern and to be ready.

Ready for what?

The Morrissey is very dark, no tv’s, a classy dive bar.

TWBS:  I’ll have a Molson.

Smoking hot gothish bartender: First of all, manners. 2nd, Molson? What the hell is that?

TWBS: You know, your national beer. If not that then a Labatts right? Please.

Bartender: That’s better. While I do appreciate your cuteness, and your politeness, you clearly aren’t from around here and have no idea what the fuck you are talking about.

[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

To be continued.

As for Sports on tv tonight, no. I mean there might be, but not sure what you are in to. Watch a documentary or drink some gin. I will be having a Viognier from my recent visit to BC. It’s a beautiful evening, throw some Smokies on the grill and relax.

As always I leave you with,

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litre_cola
litre_cola
A pugs best friend. Wine drinker. Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia. One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The moderation bot hates this joke too.

ballsofsteelandfury

Mod bot is really annoying sometimes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The joke does deserve criticism, even from the bot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Three-ways can be problematic, but when you find the right partners it can be bliss.

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Gratliff

Every so often, I hear something that I wouldn’t expect to enjoy but hits just right and ends up in my rotation. Today’s entry comes from trap artist/luchador RMR.

Unsurprised

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herodotus450

Do I have a long neck fetish or just a short hair fetish? Also this explains my uncomfortableness around the Giraffe enclosure at the zoo.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The one guy who likes Mike Glennon….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well……

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

Hmm. I never thought that “shit or get off the fence” was a real phrase, but now I’m convinced.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

So I’ve had an interesting day. (The end result is good news, for the tl;dr crowd)

Woke up at 3 am, coughed some phlegm into the sink, and it was bloody. That repeated a couple of times. This was a little troubling, and I thought about going into the hospital right then, but I decided to wait a bit and see — after all, I’ve been coughing on and off for a week now, so a little blood isn’t entirely surprising. After a few hours of sitting up and googling symptoms, I finally fell asleep again. Woke up around noon, and was hacking up bloody phlegm again.

So I grab my go-bag which I’ve been preparing for this moment and check in to the emergency department. My pulse oxidation rate is good. Other vitals good. Chest x-ray and blood panel all good. COVID test… negative. Huh. Well, 30% false negative rate, so who knows. They send me home and tell me basically to keep on keepin’ on as I’ve been doing.

So one of two things is true:
(1) I do not have the dreaded death spore, but did have the weird luck to manage to contract (while being mostly locked down) some other virus that battled my immune system to a standstill for over a week. Still, whatever I have does not seem to be doing any lasting damage, or at least not in any way that showed up.

(2) I’m a false negative, and do in fact have COVID, but even a week or more in I’m not showing any lung damage or consequences.

In one sense, nothing has changed. I’m still dealing with the same symptoms, still going to be treating them at home with over-the-counter cold medication and all the usual drink-lots-of-fluids advice.

But psychologically, it’s a huge relief. People keep texting me and asking me how I feel, do I feel better today, how about now, how about now? And the truth is that I haven’t felt that bad. It’s been a low-grade fever and moderate cough, and some of the annoyances (alternating sweatiness and chills, trouble sleeping, fluctuations in appetite) that go with those. But it’s not like I’ve been curled up on the couch moaning in agony or anything. The worst part has always been the anxiety that this seemingly mild viral infection is quietly eating the shit out of my lungs and that I’ll wake up one day struggling to breathe. Having some confirmation that this is not a likely imminent danger is a real load off, stress-wise.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good news, stay safe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I should say safer.

ballsofsteelandfury

Glad to hear you’re doing alright. Stay safe!

Gumbygirl

Thanks for the update, I have been worried. Glad you are not feeling worse, and I hope you feel better soon!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

In less than 48 hours, I will be in Ocean City, MD, drunk as a monkey, and starting five days of surf, sun, and liver damage.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

Those boardwalk fries are awesome, I want some!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

That IS a great value!

Brick Meathook

More BRICK’S BOOKSHELF: Sunday Edition

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Is it really a boat if it flies?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Yes it is. A flying boat has a displacement hull fuselage, while a float plane has buoyant outriggers. A flying boat also has a “step,” a critical hull feature that allows it to transition from displacement to non-displacement to achieve takeoff and to break free of the water’s surface. I bet you expected a joke answer but I don’t kid around about Howard Hughes or flying boats.

Mr. Ayo

I expected nothing less than this reply actually.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

No hammock?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

In each of the photos that you have posted of your bookshelves over time, I have noted at least one but usually more of the books in your collection are also in my library. I don’t know if this bodes well for you, or not well for you.

Brick Meathook

Which ones?

Viva La Tabula Raza

for this week’s entry, it’s the I’m a Lebowski feature. I can’t remember all the others. Maybe a separate thread is indicated,

ballsofsteelandfury

Love those Arcadia Publishing books!

Unsurprised

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Black Boobs Matter?

Unsurprised

#AllBoobsMatter

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Anyone watching The Eagles Concert on ESPN?

…is a thing I never thought I’d type.

Kinda sad/neat seeing Deacon Frey front Peaceful Easy Feeling.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Who doesn’t hate The Eagles?

Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

That explains the unacknowledged messages I’ve left. All 338 of them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

DOINK!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“My God, did I raise up a pussy or what?”comment image

Gratliff

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fortunately, he was able to pass the NFL’s concussion protocol and is back on the field!

Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Today in WTF?!?

Mr. Ayo

Damn, the tough times for Bill continue.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Now that you mention it, this may explain a LOT.

Game Time Decision

Home distillery?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Um…. check the shape and…… discharge ….. of the “condenser.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

My First LSD Trip started here…comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The one I posted is more of a Catholic priest type “chemistry set”…..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Another Dead Tom Petty’s Buried Treasures gem. I find the dancers particularly intriguing. A musician friend of mine occasionally gigs with the guy playing bass, up in Austin. Very cool song, in my view.

Game Time Decision

Cannot waIt for Dave to make an unplanned stop to get teh confiscated stuff back
/ moar pls

Mr. Ayo

DO EET!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This might be a rough night for both:

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Brick Meathook

I noticed something while I was posting some Terry Zwigoff stuff below . . .

If you want to form a mental picture of tWBS, here he is:

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Mr. Ayo

You ain’t gonna shit right for a week

Brick Meathook

I don’t know about that part, but they look similar. Probably replace the cigarette with a joint though.

Mr. Ayo

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was going to say, Bad Santa looks far too alert to fit my memories of spending time with tWBS.

Gumbygirl

We watch that movie every Christmas Eve.

ballsofsteelandfury

This is an accurate assessment. Down to him picking up a bartender and fucking her in her car.

Brick Meathook

Does car mean ass?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They don’t call him “the ORGAN-ist” for nothing.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Keith Emerson of EL&P claimed to have the world’s largest organ. HA!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder why this wasn’t made into a movie. I mean, Wake of The Red Witch was….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

My brain is sufficiently broken this evening

Cornell west is 100% correct …the problem is that we live on planet earth the devils domain..

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) July 5, 2020

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“The fact that this isn’t a parody account is incredible.”

I like this reply.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Every time Dead Tom Petty plays this on his Buried Treasure show, I feel compelled to post the YouTube of it. I don’t expect my behaviour to change in relation to this song anytime soon. Like the Trump administration’s latest strategy regarding the virus, Get Used To It, Because We Aren’t Going To Do Anything About It. Sorry, but at least the Kinks won’t kill you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No need to apologize for reposting thing here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…but at least the Kinks won’t kill you.

“That’s really not true.” – David Carradine

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[Michael Hutchence loves this comment]

Game Time Decision

I thought he was all choked up about the comment

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It can be both…. in fact I think it is in a way.

Gumbygirl

I’m always happy to cross over the river with Terry and Julie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Crumb movie is a weird trip, but worth it if you are interested in the graphic thing.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109508/

Viva La Tabula Raza

I watched that film when it came out, what, 25 years ago? It still stays with me. Very disturbing. Full disclosure: This is still on my bookshelf, and a number of issues of Zap Comix still reside in one of my dresser drawers:comment image

Brick Meathook

Terry Zwigoff directed it. He was a friend and collaborator of Crumb in the early-70s San Francisco comix scene; he not only directed this documentary, but directed two feature films based on Dan Clowes’ work, Ghost World and Art School Confidential. He also directed Bad Santa, which earns him a lifetime achievement award from me.

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Crumb and Clowes are two of the only comics artists I like (the Freak Brothers as well). The original comic Art School Confidential is a thing of beauty, but I had been in that world.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought Ghost World was neat.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That the film featured this Bollywood clip made it all worthwhile.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Settle down honey bunny

Viva La Tabula Raza

None of them are wearing masks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Viva La Tabula Raza

This particular one didn’t get by me, but I understand your figuring it might given my past performance. Thanks!

yeah right

Point the gun at me! Point the gun at me! There you go. Vincent, shut the FUCK UP!

Brick Meathook

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I visited an exhibit of Dali in Venice back in 2004. So, saw the actual Persistence of Time and a number of his other famous works. I had my mom with me, and she really didn’t get it. But she liked Venice, including the standard “Having a 20 dollar Cuba Libre at Harry’s Bar” thing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This woman on Married at First Sight – no disrepect intended, because she seems like a perfectly pleasant person – is the Platonic ideal of an “Ashley”.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ready for Monday.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That movie is so good….. gets the feeling of the office….. in a mind altered way.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw. I miss tWBS.

To make matters worse, the not-so-wee lady Siobhan turned out to be male, so it’s been cut down. I saved some pollen, though, so the Wee cannabis strain will live on.

herodotus450

the not-so-wee lady Siobhan turned out to be male

Hate it when that happens, but the pimp will usually give you your money back if you ask nicely.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is fiction; herodotus450 knows the when he wakes up with a sore asshole, the smell of burnt butter, no money, etc. the only thing gained is knowledge.

Brick Meathook

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“good old days” my ass.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

Awww. Let’s just pretend Seamus is on a beautiful farm , running free with all of the pugs, somewhere in the wilds of BC. He’s not gone forever, he just has no internet connection in the boonies.