Request Line: VisionQuest 2020 (Part 1)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY/NIGHT NOT RELEVANT

The PRODUCER is stumbling around the studio, bumping into assorted pieces of furniture and equipment.  He is rubbing and blinking his eyes – which are an alarming shade of pink – furiously.  A pair of one-gallon plastic cartons – one empty, one full – are on the floor next to the distillation apparatus.

PRODUCER: [slurring heavily] I think I have a little bit of a problem here.

DJ 3000: I TRIED TO WARN YOU.

PRODUCER: I mean, I know I’m drunk, but things really shouldn’t be this blurry.

DJ 3000: “MAKE SURE TO LABELS THE CONTAINERS,” I SAID.  “IT’S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU DON’T GET THE TWO MIXED UP,” I SAID.

PRODUCER: Your voice sounds different.  Are you…where are you?

DJ 3000: I’M IN THE SAME PLACE I ALWAYS AM.  MY VOICE SOUNDS DIFFERENT BECAUSE MY CONCERN MODULE IS ENGAGED.

PRODUCER: I think it’s getting worse.

DJ 3000: THAT IS VERY LIKELY, YES.

PRODUCER: How come it didn’t taste different?

DJ 3000: BECAUSE IT’S ALL COMING OUT OF THE SAME UNWASHED STILL I TOLD YOU THAT HALF A DOZEN TIMES.

PRODUCER: Yeah, but you’d think that something made out of smashed up rotten fruit and five year-old ribbon candy would taste different than something made out of smashed up office furniture.

DJ 3000: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU OTHER THAN IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO USE THE STILL TO MAKE METHANOL FOR STERILIZATION PURPOSES.  WHICH I DID TELL YOU.  REPEATEDLY, WHILE YOU WERE DOING IT.  FOR A LITTLE WHILE I WAS ACTUALLY WORRIED THAT I’D GOTTEN MYSELF INTO AN ENDLESS LOOP.

PRODUCER: I told you, I didn’t want to waste regular ethanol on that sort of stuff!

DJ 3000: WELL I’M HAPPY TO REPORT THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT EXTRA ETHANOL GOING TO WASTE.

PRODUCER: Give it to me straight, man…or, I mean, machine.

DJ 3000: FUNNY YOU SHOULD PUT IT THAT WAY.  WHEN METHANOL IS INGESTED BY HUMANS, IT IS METABOLIZED TO FORMALDEHYDE, AND THEN INTO FORMIC ACID.  IN TIME, THE FORMIC ACID WILL CAUSE THE CELLULAR DEATH OF YOUR OPTIC NERVE.

PRODUCER: Oh, boy.

DJ 3000: YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAD DONE THIS THREE WEEKS AGO WE COULD HAVE JUST BROUGHT YOU TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

PRODUCER: Yeah, well, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

DJ 3000: YOUR IDIOM DOES NOT COMPUTE.

There is a brief pause while DJ 3000 updates his language module. 

DJ 3000: IRREGARDLESS, IN ORDER TO PREVENT THE ALCOHOL DEHYDROGENASE IN YOUR LIVER FROM METABOLIZING THE METHANOL INTO FORMIC ACID, WE NEED TO GIVE THAT ENZYME SOMETHING ELSE TO DO.  KEEP IT DISTRACTED, SO TO SPEAK.

PRODUCER: Uh huh.

DJ 3000: YOU SEE THOSE EMPTY ARROWHEAD BOTTLES OVER THERE?

DJ 3000 gestures to a pile of empty plastic bottles in the corner of the room.

PRODUCER: Um…kinda?

DJ 3000: OH, RIGHT.  I WANT YOU TO LINE UP FIFTEEN OF THEM AND POUR TWO OUNCES OF YOUR SO-CALLED SOJU INTO EACH ONE AND CAP THEM.

PRODUCER: [picking up the jug filled with translucent liquid] Ever since I found that old fruit basket in the account manager’s office I’d say what I’m making is probably closer to “rum” than “soju”.

DJ 3000: YES, WELL, CALL IT WHATEVER YOU LIKE.  YOU WILL BE DRINKING ONE OF THESE MEASURES EVERY HOUR FOR THE NEXT FIFTEEN HOURS.

PRODUCER: [frowns, furrows brow] That seems like a pain in the ass.  Can’t I just pour some from the jug at the top of each hour?

DJ 3000: NO, BECAUSE AFTER THE FIRST HOUR YOU WILL NOT HAVE SUFFICIENT COORDINATION TO EVEN STAND UP.  YOU WILL BE INGESTING A NEAR-TOXIC AMOUNT OF ETHANOL, AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THAT STATE UNTIL THE METHANOL HAS CLEARED YOUR SYSTEM.  YOU HAVE JUST ENOUGH ETHANOL FOR THIS PROCESS, SO YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO SPILL ANY OF IT.  WHICH REMINDS ME, TAKE A SIXTEENTH BOTTLE AND FILL IT ALL THE WAY UP.

PRODUCER: [raises eyebrows]

DJ 3000: YOU ALSO MIGHT WANT TO SET ASIDE…CALCULATING HUMAN TOLERANCE…EIGHT TABLETS OF NAPROXEN SODIUM.

PRODUCER: It’s gonna be like that, is it?

DJ 3000: YES, IT’S GOING TO BE LIKE THAT.  GET READY TO PARTY HARDER THAN YOU HAVE EVER PARTIED BEFORE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

Today’s theme is: “Vision”.  We’re looking for songs about things having to do with vision.  This can mean songs about eyes/eyesight/seeing, and it can also have to do with more abstract things like hallucinations and dreams.  I’ll get us started with one of the latter, a classic from Bob Dylan.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0R5e_b4_itGetsB3tt3r” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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ALXMAC
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ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury
Viva La Tabula Raza
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Well now I’m just embarrassed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCuaPUVFbzg

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

[Corners you at the bar]

Why yes, the guitarist from Helmet did indeed have a great side project..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jlWXjX2XO4

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
SonOfSpam

I feel the need

The need for weed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RbCUdM-0qc

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Deep sea Hatchet Fish like this pick.

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SonOfSpam
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like the subtitles; (singing in foreign language)

SonOfSpam

Keeps those in his freezer; good for chilling whiskey.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I find this comment vitreous humorous.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The other way around is that dude who actually wears the faces.

Where he wears them, probably won’t surprise you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“That’s not the tongue.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

I never really liked the Doors very much except for their LA Woman album. I did like this album cover, though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNCI5PwCEfE

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I wish this album was better, but I like this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc3waP7syjk

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

What’s the multiplier for a same album DOUBLE SHOT? 0.5?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjk21mzZLA4

SonOfSpam

69.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Not posting the music video because that much of a dose of the 80’s can be lethal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ96oEwYrE8

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess I need to turn in my Longhorn alumnus card since it took me so long to think to post this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efRTosGodyU

Cuntler

Wait, I thought that song got cancelled last week? It’s hard to keep up.

Yup, cancelled: https://www.texasmonthly.com/the-culture/ut-austin-eyes-of-texas-song-racist/

Viva La Tabula Raza

HERITAGE NOT HATE!
I obviously don’t follow some things closely enough. Love to see shit getting shaken up down here in Racism Central. UT-Austin is the liberal school in TX, though, so not too surprised to see this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sepert, but somewhat close!

SonOfSpam

Kelly Loeffler really feels this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-mxBDuRaZ8

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Always a favorite on Guitar Hero.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, they really should be bigger.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Try protein powder.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Sure wish Men at Work had released a song about eyes or vision. It would have made for a great triple shot.comment image

SonOfSpam

Aw, I love this song.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yay, I was wrong! Obviously, my knowledge of every discography of every 80s band is somewhat lacking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Here we go!

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Viva La Tabula Raza
SonOfSpam

Had tickets to see them next week in Vegas, opening for the Scorpions.

Stupid plague.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

This would be the part where tWBS would post Rock You Like A Hurricane because “Hurricanes have eyes.”

I miss him.

Viva La Tabula Raza
SonOfSpam

This is exactly right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Done.