Your “Something Approaching Normalcy” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes:

  • Following Edmonton’s lead, Washington will go by the nom de plume “Football Team” until they decide on a new name & logo. 
    • And, starting tomorrow, they will begin the process of “retiring all [*Redacted] s branding from team properties,” including FedEx Field and [*Redacted] s Park.
      • They hope to be entirely rid of it on physical and digital spaces in the next 50 days, by the Sept. 13 regular-season opener against the Philadelphia Eagles.
    • It’s no Kraken!

  • Antonio Brown, as expected, has walked back his retirement announcement, instead choosing to demand the league decide his fate RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
    • “The fact that you refuse to provide a deadline and the reason for the fact you won’t resolve your investigations is completely unacceptable,” Brown wrote on Instagram. “I demand you provide me clarity on this situation immediately if you really care about my wellbeing. My legal team continues to ask and you provide no answers.”
      • “[I] Need an update so I can talk to these teams properly, they’re waiting on you @nfl let’s get this thing moving! We’ve got history to make!! #Himmothy.”
  • No terms released, but ESPN says Mike Zimmer has agreed to a contract extension with the Vikings.
    • It makes sense, considering Zimmer is the third-winningest head coach in team history, with a record of 57-38-1 (.599), and has taken the Vikings to the postseason in three of the past six years (2015, 2017 and 2019).
      • Bud Grant is, obviously, the king, with a record of 168-108-5. Dennis Green is second at 101-70-0.

Finally, NFL.com has a long-form piece on Marshawn Lynch’s return to Seattle late last season.

  • It discusses the hurt feelings and the fence mending that took place to make it happen.
    • Remember – “Start taking care of y’all mentals, y’all bodies and y’all chicken”.
  • It’s surprisingly balanced, given that the league’s dot-com is usually a mouthpiece for whatever the league needs to be said.

Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • MLB Opening Day:
    • New York Yankees at Washington Nationals – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN4
    • San Francisco Giants at Los Angeles Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN4
    • Blue Jays Classics – 1993 World Series Game #6 – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
      • “Touch ’em all, Joe…”
  • NASCAR Cup Series:
    • Kansas 400 – 7:30PM | NBCSN / TSN
      • The Kansas 400 from Kansas Speedway in Kansas City.
  • MLS is Back Tournament:
    • Los Angeles Galaxy vs. Houston Dynamo – 8:00PM | FS1 / TSN5
    • Los Angeles FC vs. Portland Timbers – 10:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN5

I guess with the return of baseball I can retire my temporary use of “… entertainment?” as a header, since we are beginning a run where there will be at least two major league sports every night. But how can I ceremonially delete something so profound?

Thanks, big man.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

DeSean Jackson will be doing Kars For Kids commercials in Philly by next month.

Gumbygirl

What, not Jalopies for Jews? Sedans for Semites?

Senor Weaselo

Kars for Kids is run by an orthodox Jewish organization, so it counts.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Kars Krushing Kids is Stephen Miller’s favorite charity.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Brown kids, of course.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

They actually solicited Joe Biden’s opinion for the new Injuns name, but he started saying something and then stared at the microwave for 15 minutes.

Gumbygirl

I watched him with Obama today. He’s fine. Unlike: Person. Woman. Man. Camera.TV.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s fucking good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Those first dates can be really awkward if you don’t know your way around a potato.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“This 1-1 soccer game is the balls!”

-tWBS

Mr. Ayo

Wait, were you referring to the MLB or MLS game? Because both are no longer a Seamus. Much like himself.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

I’m going to misquote him here and there. Some football game is 41-10? That’s a, “This soccer game is mildly interesting”.-tWBS

/and so on
//it’s what he wouldn’t have wanted

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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-Balls?

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m the “someone else”…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That gets fined?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[pushes you out of the way rather roughly] – Rex Ryan

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, the joke being…… never mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

I’m loving this Harvey Weinstein docudrama!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“It puts the hand on my penis or it gets the last interview spot on The Chelsea Handler Show” was my favorite line from the movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

The answer: Four.

The Question: How many berets can you fit in a brand new Yardbarker 400, huh?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Newsboy, flat hat, driving cap, Ben Hogan, or Ivy cap…….. but beret? Of ALL the people, I NEVER expected this type of cap misfortune of statement FROM YOU!

Brick Meathook

Fat-guy hat

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

People dealing and complaining about new technology such as software updates really know what these guys had to deal with.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quRizqMwnC4

scotchnaut

Oh, Look! It’s Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee*

*referenced in “Cleaning Windows” by Van Morrison

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX3KOaJvly4

scotchnaut

I thought that the Popper fella from Blues Traveler was the best with the harmonica. And then I listened to this guy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Viva La Tabula Raza

Alan Wilson’s helium-inflected voice was phenomenal. Dude has been dead nearly 50 years, that is too bad.

Sharkbait

So is the based ball still a thing?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Don’t blame me, I’m voting for Kodos.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m voting the straight Cthulhu ticket.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

As a shoutout to the Washington football franchise, I’m renaming a certain business that I have an interest in as “Northern Ontario Thing That Gets Stuff From One Place To Another”. I’m not gonna lie, it has a certain ring to it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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