Your “Haves & Have Nots” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The opt-out list got a bit larger today, with some notable names:
    • Patriots: Dont’a Hightower, Patrick Chung, Brandon Bolden, Marcus Cannon, Danny Vitale, and Najee Toran.
    • Bears: Eddie Goldman
    • Bills: Star Lotulelei
  • The Bengals agreed to terms with Joe Burrow today.
    • It’s a fully guaranteed $36 million deal, with a $23.9 million signing bonus.
      • Mike Brown wanted to pay in Skyline gift cards, but Burrow’s agent was too smart for that.
  • Patrick Mahomes has bought ownership interest in the KC Royals.
    • Now he has something to do after Spring workouts – he can walk across the parking lot & watch from the owner’s box.
      • Considering his dad was once a MLB pitcher – but never with the Royals – it makes a certain amount of financial planning sense.
    • One assumes it’s a ceremonial 1% ownership, much like the Dolphins used to sell off in order to attract casual billionaire fans.

  • The City of Green Bay is projecting up to $160 million in losses from the lack of fans attending Packers games.
    • Mostly from lost tax & tourist revenue.
    • The rest of the story is behind a paywall, so I have to assume there were projections about layoffs & reductions in social services.
  • Stealing from Crimebeat! – former 49er Dana Stubblefield has been found guilty of raping a 31-year-old woman. 
    • He was found guilty of rape by force, oral copulation by force and false imprisonment and acquitted of raping a person incapable of giving consent.
      • He contacted a babysitting website & she was the person they sent him for the interview. The rape occurred after the interview & she had left, when she was invited back to the house with a promise of “compensation” for her time that day.
    • It’s his third post-retirement conviction:
      • He pleaded guilty in 2009 to lying to federal officials investigating a performance-enhancing drugs ring catering to professional athletes.
        • He was sentenced to probation after cooperating with investigators.
      • In 2010, he pleaded guilty to stealing his former girlfriend’s mail by submitting a fraudulent change of address for her to the U.S. Post Office
        • He was sentenced to 90 days in jail.

I learned today that Seahawks offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer’s middle name is “Cornelius”. And so, from hence forth, this shall be the graphic that accompanies his name:

Verily, I am a child.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • New York Yankees at Philadelphia Phillies – 6:00PM | FS1
      • COVID-tests permitting
    • Blue Jays at Nationals – 6:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Los Angeles Dodgers at Houston Astros – 9:00PM | FS1
  • MLS is Back Tournament:
    • Columbus Crew vs. Minnesota United – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Portland Timbers vs. FC Cincinnati – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN

NHL “pre-post-season” started today, and NBA “pre-post-season” started on the weekend, so we have that to look forward to as well. But since I don’t care about those games until they count, I’m not listing them.

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Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Saw the news about The Defector. There’s no way in hell I’m paying a minimum of $69/year for Deadspin 2.0 that was on the decline when they all resigned anyway.

If they stick to writing actual articles, maybe I’ll consider it but there’s millions of places that collate the same media without presenting it in an unfunny, pretentious manner. Seriously, when most of them try to be funny now, it’s terrible.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NICE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

So… fancy new format. Will I be able to post a video all by myself now, or will I still have to rely on the kindness of strangers?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gumbygirl

Let’s find out!
https://youtu.be/XcMM5-zBCEc

Gumbygirl

NOPE!

Brick Meathook

Brick Meathook

Copy and paste the URL up in the top of your browser -don’t use the “share” link. that’s why you’re getting the “youtu.be” in your post.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcMM5-zBCEc&feature=youtu.be

It has to look like that. Just right click on the address bar and paste into the comments space.

Brick Meathook

Tonight’s movie:

Brick Meathook

The child labor used in this film is inspiring.

Dunstan

Waking up from a nap at 10 pm is… well, I won’t lie, it’s kind of awesome. Just enough time to get some food, and then it’s bedtime. Don’t want to overexert myself.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Porky Prime

Today on my mail route I was flagged down by a woman who looked to be pushing 80, asking for an extra one of those Tuesday ads that provide us all with precious Burger King coupons. She started to speak after I gave her the ad but was tripping on her words, and she then told me that I looked so handsome she lost her train of thought. It was honestly the nicest compliment I’ve ever received.

Only the fifth best blowjob though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you saying she still had her damn teeth?!?

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