25 Questions About…

This amazing picture that was posted on Sharkbait’s Limoncello post on Friday morning:

There is a lot going on here. Of course, this picture was posted by Moose (who else?), but it was actually in response to a comment by Son Of Spam where he mentioned how much I like all things anise.

He is right, of course.

LemonJello got the party started by astutely deducing that “He’s really going to be disappointed when he finds out its just his wife he’s pawing on.”

Furthermore, Gumbygirl very smartly noticed that “The woman on the right is saying Oh my God Becky, look at her butt!”

I have spent a long time analyzing this picture, for your benefit. As always, I have some questions…

  1. Assuming Gumbygirl is correct in her assessment of the situation and LemonJello is not, then surely Karen’s husband Biff aka Becky is wearing her thong panties underneath his suit, right?
  2. Isn’t the way he has his legs crossed a classic tell?
  3. Do you think that pisses Karen off because he farts a lot and you can never get the fart stains out from that tiny string of fabric?
  4. Shouldn’t he buy his own set of thong panties just for himself?
  5. Would it surprise you to know that I know where to get some and that I have a VERY similar lamp to the one behind Karen and Biff?
  6. Is that girl’s butt really all that?
  7. Doesn’t it seem like Becky/Biff is a little critical of that butt?
  8. I mean, Biff works at a strip club all day looking at asses, maybe he’s an ass connoisseur like me and knows a good one from a not-so-good one?
  9. Why did Biff bring Johnny The Bartender from the club to this private party?
  10. Is he doing him a solid by giving a chance to earn some extra bucks on the side?
  11. Or is there something else to it?
  12. Is it Johnny’s job to keep them liquored up and have the camera ready for when Shit starts to Go Down?
  13. Do you think you could get it up in front of a bunch of people?
  14. It can’t be as easy as you’d think, right?
  15. I mean, you’ve got Gretchen all laid out on Rick’s lap there, but does it look like Rick has a boner?
  16. Does he have that pained look on his face because he’s concerned about his wife falling off of the table or is it because Gretchen just sat on his balls?
  17. How many drinks do ya reckon Hilda has had tonight?
  18. She’s a straight whiskey kinda gal, isn’t she?
  19. How much you wanna bet she hasn’t left Johnny’s side all night?
  20. Do you agree with me that Johnny has a good shot at spreading Hilda’s legs over the top of that bar and going to town?
  21. I mean, with Gary her husband acting the fool over Rick’s wife, why wouldn’t she let Johnny get in a lick or two?
  22. BTW, we’re all agreed that all of these ladies have bushes that grow wild and free, right?
  23. Doesn’t it seem like Gary is the type of asshole that wears a belt with those suspenders?
  24. It’s Gary’s fault that this country is going to shit, isn’t it?
  25. What do you think Rick’s wife’s name is?
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

Biff/Becky is just mad because Karen took the thong he wanted to wear tonight. The leopard print one, not this crappy green one that’s all stretched out. He might as well be wearing underoos. BITCH!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BIRD LAW!!

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Dunstan

I was expecting Harvey Birdman!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Harvey has a hobby.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Redirect, your honor.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have a question: has anyone ever come up with a worse design than these 4-pin compact fluorescent bulbs? Yeah, let’s make the load-bearing portion when you’re inserting it (into a slot tight enough that it won’t fall out due to gravity) out of a delicate tube of FUCKING GLASS.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

The guy the GOP endorsed to run against my US Representative just got arrested on domestic violence charges, in case you were wondering if the Democrats had any really safe seats this year.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s still be good to go in Wyoming or Montana.

Horatio Cornblower

He probably wouldn’t have been arrested out there; not like he was rustling cattle or something serious, y’know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

#4 – of course not, then it wud b gay smgdh

LemonJello

But, and hear me out on this, if he called them “micro compression briefs” they’d be all manly and athletic.

Plus, the big ol’queen wouldn’t have to fight his wife for his favorites.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

I don’t know which I’ve missed more, 25 Questions or Quoteables*

*Actually, it’s Quoteables, but 25 Questions is still always good.

Also, the answer to both 23 & 24 is “YES”

Last edited 1 month ago by LemonJello
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered

Cosby looks Machiavellian in this one.

Horatio Cornblower

“Becky” and “Biff” look like they came to the party with the understanding that they were going to get to talk to the others about buying Amway, and are now surreptitiously trying to decide how far they’ll go tonight in order to make it happen. One does not get Emerald status without blowing a few strangers, you know.

Also, Rick’s wife’s name is Suzanne. It is not Susan. Susan is a fat girl’s name, as Suzanne will be happy to tell you as she grabs her keys out of the bowl and storms off in a huff, one again leaving Rick the odd man out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Both of these scenarios have happened to me, except not as a prelude to an orgy.

Horatio Cornblower

The Suzanne/Susan story is one I can personally vouch for, having briefly dated a Suzanne.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The wrath of a Suzanne who is called Susan knows no bounds.

Horatio Cornblower

Suffice it to say, I did not get laid that evening.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, you can’t even salvage an angry handjob from that one.

Duchess

Look Rick it’s not prostitution you’re paying Becky for the 10 starter kits… the blow job is free!

Last edited 1 month ago by Duchess
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A place I used to work was full of amway cultists and was my landlord was one at the time. My GF and I got three of the starter/sampler kits, but had to endure the pitches. During one of them we left the sampler box out that we got from the previous one, not sure if they noticed or not. All of these people wound up just selling each other cleaning supplies and soap and took vacations in the same towns that had the conventions. I never did get the free blowjob from any amway’er though, sad to say.

Horatio Cornblower

When I was in college my then-girlfriend lived in MA, (and not Niagara Falls), and worked with a woman who was in an Amway relationship. Moose is absolutely right to call them a cult. Weirdest couple ever. They kept trying to get us to sell Amway and had all sorts of cult slogans posted all over their house. We would watch their house, (i.e. have sex all over it), when they would go on vacation, which as Moose says was always with other Amway types, or the conventions, which as near as I could tell were the same thing to them.

Horatio Cornblower

Spending the morning reading an insurance policy that, among other things, excludes coverage for damage caused by yeast, so I guess Ben Shapiro’s wife is shit out of luck on this one.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Duchess

In some cultures this is a force majeure

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This comment is so good it is probably from Candidiasis.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sour dough guy is PISSED.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Beer brewery guy would like a word.

Sharkbait

Was the party supposed to get like this? Or did it turn into that kind of party via drugs and/or alcohol?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Via LUST!

Only two of the party did not know the eventual result.

Duchess

How long did these people have to stand like that while the courtroom artist drew this?

LemonJello

Hello, Darkness, my old friend…
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Last edited 1 month ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The judge mixing drinks will have a ruling.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thanks for sending me down that rabbit hole, you bastard.

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LemonJello

I do what I can.