Request Line: VisionQuest 2020 (Part 7) – Taking it Sleazy

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER is stretched on his side on the floor, dozing.  BLAKE BORTLES sits sprawled out on the couch, tossing a stress ball straight up in the air repeatedly.

BLAKE BORTLES: [catching the ball] I don’t know why the hell my idiot receivers make this look so difficult.

DJ 3000: [chimes loudly]

PRODUCER: [muffled] No!  No more alcohol!

The room brightens.

BLAKE BORTLES: [sitting up straight] Good news, buddy!  That part of things is OVER!  We’re on the other side.  Now all we’ve got to do is test your vision to make sure your eyes are still in okay shape.

BLAKE BORTLES pulls his cellphone out of his pocket and starts pulling up images to show to the PRODUCER, who is now sitting cross-legged on the floor.

BLAKE BORTLES: Okay, here we go.  Who’s this?

PRODUCER: [squinting] I see a man in a red shirt with his arm raised…is that…is that Andy Reid?

BLAKE BORTLES: Good, good!  And for bonus points, what’s he doing?

PRODUCER: Flagging down a waittress?

BLAKE BORTLES: Nailed it.  Figured I’d start things off easy.  Now how about this one?

PRODUCER: [squinting] Is it…Jameis Winston?

BLAKE BORTLES: Great!  Now what’s he doing?

PRODUCER: Throwing a touchdown?

BLAKE BORTLES: Yes, but to which team?

PRODUCER: There’s no way of knowing that!

BLAKE BORTLES: [chuckles] Yeah, you’re right.

The room darkens.

BLAKE BORTLES: Now how about this one?

PRODUCER: Huh.  Oh, boy.  Having a pretty tough time with this one.

BLAKE BORTLES: That’s Erin Andrews, what are you, fuckin’ blind?

PRODUCER: Dude.  Seriously?

BLAKE BORTLES: Next one.

PRODUCER: That’s…Ronde Barber.

BLAKE BORTLES: The FUCK?  Jesus, dude, that’s Tiki Barber.  Goddamn.

PRODUCER: Now listen…

BLAKE BORTLES: Yeah, yeah, I know, they all look the same to you.  Fucking racist.  One more.

PRODUCER: Rob Ryan?

BLAKE BORTLES: Close enough!  Looks like you’re out of the woods.  [stands up] All right, man, I gotta jet, I got my realtor to give me the entry code for a property I told him I’m interested in and I want to go bang my side piece in the master bedroom. Take it sleazy, fellas.

DJ 3000: HEY! BEFORE YOU GO, CAN YOU SUPPLY US WITH A THEME FOR TODAY’S REQUEST LINE?

BLAKE BORTLES: Shit, have I gotta do everything around here?  Okay, sure.  Sleaze.

DJ 3000: SLEAZE?

BLAKE BORTLES: Yeah.  Songs about shit that’s sleazy.

DJ 3000: THAT SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY VAGUE TOPIC.

BLAKE BORTLES: Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn’t have asked me to come up with a topic after you’d already covered every other goddamned topic under the fucking sun.

DJ 3000: WHAT KIND OF SONGS QUALIFY AS SLEAZY?

BLAKE BORTLES: I don’t know, songs about doing sleazy shit.  Lying, stealing, you know.  Dishonest stuff.

DJ 3000: LIKE CHEATING ON A SPOUSE?

BLAKE BORTLES: Sure, but none of that “Secret Lovers” type bullshit.  I’m talking like “I’m the Type of Guy” sort of shit.  Tell you what, I’ll give you an example and then I’m gonna hit the road.  DJ 3000, cue up some Afghan Whigs.

For the second week in a row, we are getting ABSTRACT.  Today’s theme is: Sleaze.  Lying? That’s sleazy.  Cheating on your significant other? Sleazy.  Stealing? Yeah, that’s sleazy.  Hitting on underage girls? Oh, you better believe that’s sleazy. MAJOR HINT: this is as close to being a straight up “hair metal” request line as we’ll ever get.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iRL5!x3” (see if you can guess the puzzle song!) and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.

 

 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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JerBear50
JerBear50
JerBear50
JerBear50
JerBear50
ThurberHerder

And to bring it full circle from the example you gave… I’ll not be a gentleman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkwD5rQ-_d4

yeah right

You ain’t no punk you punk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N2-jV189Zs

ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder
yeah right

Zombie tWBS says “Dude!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JerBear50

Good pull.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

More so for Jerry’s marriage practices than the gonorrhea that made the burning sensation.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I always preferred the original.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKgQO6sILug

yeah right

Goddamn right! Never should have been re-made.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is some really good music and some of it would just be judged sleazy by Mr. Hippo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Dunstan

Remember gents, always get the $ up front.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9-xBZxqQi0

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wish I would have heeded this before all those free blowjobs behind the dumpster at Arby’s.

Dunstan

You know, you can just get the “white sauce” from those little packets on the counter…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not salty enough.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yep, this is by far the most sleazy item on this thread.

Last edited 3 years ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
yeah right

Let’s take this shit back in time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2CWfSLyjx8

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

The lyrical content of this isn’t really sleazy, but the beat and the lyric delivery just sounds sleazy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBShN8qT4lk

Viva La Tabula Raza

Probably. I am not that familiar with their discography.

Viva La Tabula Raza

These guys, whoa. Another Mother Lode.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9hcAA93N8c

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
SonOfSpam

Picked this song, but he has hundreds that would fit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vbt8ReH0hI

Viva La Tabula Raza

Lot of Aerosmith stuff is pretty sleazy. Fuck, just look at Steven Tyler.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lX8GG3dnsp8

SonOfSpam

He smells sex and candy and first question is, who’s that lounging in my chair?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KT-r2vHeMM

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think the original was even sleazier than the Doors cover.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OloCF_5wWfQ

JerBear50

Oh, for sure. Wolf didn’t fuck around.

Dunstan

A fine defense of sleaziness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGzBZJHhHsc

SonOfSpam

Rizzo was the only good character.

Dunstan

Hmmm… probably. I was in love with Sandy, but that had more to with Olivia Newton-John than the character. Sandy had terrible taste in men.

Edit: of course, so did Rizzo.

Last edited 3 years ago by Dunstan
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Musical context, to quote when we played this my senior year: “This is where the creepy choirmaster hits on the 17-year old girl.”
/The girl who played Princess Puffer called me a cheap whore during the concertmaster solo—it was hilarious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wznwcQDxCQU

SonOfSpam

was she wrong?

Senor Weaselo

Answers may vary.

Cuntler

Wanna hear a song that ruins three songs in one song about banging a 17 year-old in Michigan?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwIGZLjugKA

Senor Weaselo

You could’ve stopped at “Kid Rock.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

I knew which song that was gonna be before the video even loaded. His Cowboy Song would qualify as super sleazy too, although he didn’t fuck up any beloved songs on that one.

SonOfSpam

Yep, he’s gross in every possible way.