Trolling FOAR Auction League Owners Open Thread

King Hippo

Hey it beats Trolling FOAR Cub Scouts ,, amirite??

Speak for yourself, Mister Man! – Marc T., Parts Unknown

I am typing this up during the Europa final.  Tis a race between Antonio Conte and the GOOOOOLLLLLLLL! announcer, as to who strokes out first.  Let us hope that Sunday Funday’s PSG/Bear Team final is this entertaining.

Still, though – the sporting desert awaits, until the NFL in all its malevolent, competent glory rolls in.  And hey, thanks to Roni/#NuAIDS?  My auction league is finally going to online format.  Not that I will miss the 9-hour LaboUr Day trip to Northern Virginia…but usually quite sad when a tradition dies out.

But hey, silver lining – I can bring some Commentist Party members to the Heavenly Table.  It’s full-PPR, $150 entry fee (numerous prize levels), 20-man rosters, and you get to pick up to 4 keepers each season (the maths is too complicated for me to describe right now, but once you get it, it’s perfect).  About half of our 12 have bailed (and we’d like 14), so come one, come all.  Let me know if interested, and I will e-mail with details.

Don’t have scotchy’s e-mail, but I believe he was looking for something to scratch the itch left by his Canadia buddies bailing on his auction league.  Litre might be joining, once he and the Other Litre’s get out of the forest.

I have nothing else for y’all today.  Speak of whatever y’all wish.  Donks WOO!!!

UPDATE – In the spirit of us imaginary friends of the Commentist Party, Wolven Sort Hippo Spawn and I are pictured, wearing our badass, comfy (relatively speaking) Everton masks.  Took awhile to arrive, but worth it and supports a good cause.  Everton in the Community is a powerful thing, integral to Everton’s identity as a community-focused club (as Moyesy put it – The People’s Club).

I spiked a temp of 99.8 this am, up 2.6 degrees from yesterday’s normal, lizard-ish level.  I haven’t had a temperature this high in 12 years, the winter a 30-something non-smoker had pneumonia TWICE.  Feels very similar, but pictured Spawn likely gets her test back today, and if she has it I have it.  Figure maybe a 25-30% shot, up from 5-10% yesterday.  My mind only works in numbers, when it works at all.

WEAR YOUR GODDAMNED MASK, EVEN IF NOT BULLETPROOF.  IT’S THE BARE MINIMUM YOU CAN DO AS A CITIZEN, AND IS NOT A POLITICAL ACT.

/also where is my muthafuckin’ ribbon??

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King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

Songs about KKK members trying to woo potential girlfriends are hard to come across but I think I found one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipqqEFoJPL4

Viva La Tabula Raza

 KKK members trying to woo potential girlfriends

Now THAT would make a tough RTD Friday afternoon Request Line subject.

scotchnaut

Since they were about 7 years-old I’ve been asking my boys, (intermittently) “What Did You Learn Today?” I told them that “nothing” was not acceptable. Ever. Yesterday, as we were leaving work my oldest (17) started in on “TIL” unprompted and related to me a number of things. #missionsortaaccomplished

herodotus450

Scotchy’s kids learning the meaning of the word “nothing” in school one day:
comment image

scotchnaut

[“Under Pressure” plays in the background]

Dunstan

Oh, how I hated the “what did you learn today” shtick. Especially because “nothing” was often the honest and correct answer — the teachers taught strictly out of the textbook, so if you had done the reading then you really didn’t learn anything that day.

scotchnaut

You said ‘nothing’ when the correct answer, ‘teachers are lazy’ was staring you in the face.

Dunstan

Ah, but I had figured that out on day 1. The other days there was nothing new.

Actually, I’m even sure I think it was lazy. Teachers have to teach to the whole class, not cater to me and a handful of others who learn best from reading. The rest of the class either didn’t do the reading or it didn’t sink it, and so they actually needed the “repetition.”

Last edited 3 months ago by Dunstan
scotchnaut

Day 1? You must have been in the advanced class.

monty this seems strange to me

I switched my question to “What Physical Activity Did You Do Today?” a few years ago. I want them to stay active and they seem willing to answer.

scotchnaut

Shit. I need to do this with my youngest. Thanks.

scotchnaut

Btw, does anyone else think that monty has the absolutely perfect pic for a lurker that occasionally makes comments? Is it just me?

scotchnaut

I’ve posted this tune before. I’ve watched it many, many times because it always gives me something new to think about. Today? The approach to the lyrics seems to come from the ‘Cut Up” method. From what I understand, Brion Gysin pioneered this and William S. Burroughs copied it. Brian Eno then came along and adopted this technique when he was a producer for early Talking Heads albums. “More Songs About Buildings And Food” (in the running for wryest album title ever) “Fear of Music” and “Remain in Light” feature this method of ‘song-building’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy63smJ-5ZA

Last edited 3 months ago by scotchnaut
scotchnaut

Maybe it’s because I was desperate for sports of any kind but I’m curious as to what the Raptors can do without Hawaii Lionard. Nurse is a fantastic coach and GM Ujiri has done a phenomenal job of identifying talent. From what I’ve been able to deduce, it seems as though he targets dudes that have an off-the-charts work ethic and provides them with an environment where they can do their thing/flourish. A very interesting “Anti-Multiple Superstar” approach to building a competitive team.

Horatio Cornblower

Hippo, is this auction league the same one the required members to submit their weekly line-ups via a thumb drive, and failing to do so on 2 occasions would result in the loss of a thumb?

Because that one scared me.

Horatio Cornblower

Happy to announce I just got the mail and received two (2) HRTN T-shirts and am now debating whether I want more questions at the gym about “What’s Iguana Mart” or “What are Diggler’s Donuts?”

Truly a conundrum.

Horatio Cornblower

Wait. wait, wait…there’s a Canadian Premier League soccer thing!?

scotchnaut

Don’t sleep on Moose Factory FC!

Mr. Ayo

I’m team Beaver United

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, can anyone confirm that Curt Schilling was arrested in connection with the Bannon/Wall fraud thing? It’s all over Twitter but I haven’t seen anything official and I don’t want to get ahead of myself jerking off in the street celebrating it.

Horatio Cornblower

I was afraid of that, but good ol’ Schill is apparently on the Board of Bannon’s foundation, so hope springs eternal.

monty this seems strange to me

DON’T LET THAT STOP YOU FROM JERKING OFF IN THE STREET THAT IS YOUR RIGHT AS AN AMERICAN

scotchnaut

You ‘Muricans are so full of yourselves. I got a “D”* in history but I specifically remember an inspiring Winston Churchill speech about the British having the right to masturbate “in the fields, on the beaches, on the ocean, in the air, in France” and a lot of other places.

*Nice!

Last edited 3 months ago by scotchnaut
scotchnaut

Check slack [slams $150 on table]

ballsofsteelandfury

Also, there is no sporting desert. The NHL playoffs will take us through August. AFL still has at least 2 months of action. Liga MX is going strong and the European leagues will begin the 2020-21 seasons very soon.

We don’t need the NFL.

Last edited 3 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
herodotus450

12th tier Monrovian Soccer match between the last two teams in the league: Hippo: “I like it.”
Hockey players breaking each others jaws and calling each other pussies about it: Hippo: “I hate it.”

scotchnaut

“Hey, the heart wants what it wants.”

ballsofsteelandfury

Sevilla was great and they’ve now won 6 Europa League trophies (more than anyone) including 4 since 2014. That’s quite a feat!

litre_cola

Those are quite some feet – R. Ryan

monty this seems strange to me

You don’t even look like a hippo, smh.

yeah right

Stay well and be well Brother Hippo. Like you, I run a very low baseline temperature. Somewhere in the 96 degree range. Enough to elicit a double take almost everytime.

And wear your goddamn mask people.

rockingdog

found a funny:

SOCRATES: I am wiser than this man; he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing— DARRYL, SOCRATES’ FRIEND: fuck him up socrates

Horatio Cornblower

An oldie but a goodie.

scotchnaut

Does I go for a hike before the rain comes or does I procrastinate until it’s too late? I’m going back and forth between these two options.

monty this seems strange to me

Don’t procrastinate this decision. Decide to procrastinate now!

Gumbygirl

If it weren’t for procrastination, I would always get things done!

rockingdog

yes padres get the W
against stupid astros
goooo baseball

scotchnaut

…considering your kind offer.

Unsurprised

I woke up 45 minutes ago and figured I should do the laundry I’ve been putting off for obvious reasons.

litre_cola

Here ya go. Flares are in my kangaroo pouch.

/teh hippo deleted teh masked ultra pic.

Mask up people!

Last edited 3 months ago by litre_cola
litre_cola

Here it is Hippo.

20200715_185141.jpg
scotchnaut

“TO VANCOUVER!!!” [both jump into a battered ’03 Toyota RAV4]

-litre and hippo

Last edited 3 months ago by scotchnaut
herodotus450

Dammit, scooped again! I was this close to finishing my research on whether copious opious opioids prevent contraction of the charcoalvirus

litre_cola

One more day in the forest. Decilitre was up at 5 as well but Gramma Cola took that bullet, thank Bleergh.

Fronkenshteen

Morning folks! Fronkenpooper woke up at 5:00, so here I be. Went to our pre-season coaches meeting for eldest Fronkenspawn’s lesser footy league this week. Am PSYCHED to finally get to run around and play ball with the kiddos at practice. Maybe run off some of this disgusting gut in the process. Great pic, Hippo! You look just like my cousin, and your daughter is beautiful.

blaxabbath

“My cousin AND daughter? That’s one person!”

– Alabama