Stand For The Anthem, Lie Down For The Ventilator: Your 2020 Dallas Cowboys Preview

I intended to praise Jerry Jones for his work in this year’s draft, albeit work that he undoubtedly had a lot of help with while working the phones from his supervillain yacht.  And he did deserve that praise; while it’s foolish to grade drafts in their immediate aftermath, based on the information that we have right now, the Cowboys had a great draft.  In the first round they got CeeDee Lamb, who some regarded as the top WR prospectm, and who was certainly a Top 10 guy.  For whatever reason, (looking at you Atlanta), he fell to the Cowboys at 17.  They didn’t really need a WR, of course, but the chance to match Lamb with Cooper, Gallup, and Elliott out of the backfield was too much to pass up.  I don’t blame them a bit.  In the second round they were able to grab Trevon Diggs, a CB who a lot of people, (including, um, me), had going in the first round.  The Dallas secondary is perrenially a dumpster fire, and losing Byron Jones to free agency and Miami made this an area of need.  Will Diggs overcome his “issues” and live up to his first round potential, or succumb to them and become the next Randy Gregory?  Fuck if I know, but at the time it was a great pick!  In the third round the Cowboys took Neville Gallimore, a DT who addressed a real need, then in the 4th round took Reggie Robinson, a CB about whom I know nothing, but then traded back into the 4th to grab Wisconsin C Tyler Biadasz.  Biadasz was a real need, in that Travis Frederick retired due to health concerns, and while Biadasz is coming off shoulder and hip surgeries, if healthy he is a first round pick in the 4th.  There are other rounds, and I’m sure the Cowbiys did stuff in them, but I didn’t care after those first 5 picks.  Great job Jerry, and I was all set to root the Cowboys all the way to the Super Bowl, or at least to another demoralizingly early post-season loss.

And then Jerry did this, insisting that the Cowboys will have fans at their home games because Texas and its idiot governor will allow it.  I mean, what’s better during a pandemic than cramming 30,000, 60,000, or 100,000 people into you temple to footbawl?  Well, pretty much everything, but since the most dangerous place in America is not actually between Jerry Falwell, Jr. and the curtains in the room where is wife is banging the help. but between Jerry Jones and a loose dollar, you can bet your sweet ass that Dallas will play before as large a live crowd as Jones can get away with, and you can bet that same ass that the Dallas-Fort Worth area is going to see a spike in Covid numbers shortly after kick-off.

Jones wasn’t done there, however.  In light of the most recent outburst of police killing unarmed black men, most sports took a big step back from policing anthem policies and pretty much allowed the players to decide whether they were going to kneel, not show up at all or, in the case of the WNBA, walk off the floor entirely.  Jones, however, wants to continue his prior wishy-washy policy of allowing his team to kneel before the anthem, but stand during it.  Fuck that, and fuck him.  I hope his team goes 2-14.  But I suppose I should put more thought into this than visceral hatred, so without further ado….

TO THE PREVIEWS!

The Quarterback

Still Dak Prescott, although there’s a lot of noise that he won’t resign after this year, since he didn’t get the long-term contract he wanted at the start of last season.  I, who am a fan of Dak Prescott, would point out that he didn’t earn that long-term contract last year, and therefore shouldn’t be so touchy.  Prescott is a big, strong, and fast QB.  He has a strong arm and, occasionally, a deft touch.  He is also, more than occasionally, wildly inaccurate, and still given to making the kind of bone-headed mistakes, (his holding the ball in the pocket way too long, especially given his ability to run, is a particular pet peeve of mine), that would get a lesser QB a back-up job in Cleveland.

That said, Prescott is at a minimum an above-average QB and his potential, I think, very, very, very high.  Particularly given the weapons his has this year there is simply no reason Dak should not have an off-the-charts season.  I expect big things from him this year, and if he meets those expectations, ol’ JJ is gonna sorely regret not signing him to a long-term contract last year, because he is either gonna be gone or wrecking the salary cap in 2021.

If Prescott gets hurt the Cowboys have added a capable if not exactly overwhelming back-up in the Red Rocket, Andy Dalton.  Dalton has a history as a good-to-very-good regular season QB, and a complete disappointment in the post-season, so it’ll be just like if Tony Romo never left.

The Running Backs

Elliott, like the rest of the Cowboys, had an up-and-down season last year.  Some games he was brilliant, other games he disappeared.  that ould have been a product of his hold-out, (management), could have been a banged up offensive line, or it could have been shitty coaching and game-planning.  I would argue the latter.  I’m not aware of any injuries to Zeke himself, and see no reason he isn’t going to be a Top 5 RB this season.  The Cowboys also have a good back-up in Tony Pollard.

Wide Receivers

With CeeDee Lamb joining Amari Cooper and Michael Gallup I doubt there’s a better receiving corps in the league, especially when you add Elliott or Pollard out of the back field, and the defense having to account for Prescott taking off on his own.  If anyone gets hurt, however, the backups seem to be a collection of people no one’s ever heard of.

Tight End

Blake Jarwin slides in to replace the now hopefully retired for good Jason Witten.  I like Jarwin as a receiving option.  No idea how he is as a blocker, but given the current Dallas set-up on offense they don’t seem likely to be running a lot of power running plays anyway.  Your time to shine, Blake!  Go get ‘im.

Offensive Line

For years the offensive line was Dallas’s greatest strength.  Last year age, injuries, and weird diseases, caught up with the line and they weren’t quite as effective.  Still good, just not as overpowering.  This year Travis Frederick

retired, (until the word “retired I just copy and pasted last year’s preview, and you didn’t even notice, did you?), and the O-line is a bit more of a question.  La’el Collins, Tyson Smith, and Zack Martin all return, and if healthy will perform at a high level.  None of them, however, have been fully healthy for a full season in some time, however, so don’t expect that to be the case.  The Cowboys seem to have learned from past seasons and have loaded up on options to fill various positions.  I would look at the line as having three very good players in Collins, Smith, and Martin, when healthy, a decent cog in Joe Looney, a guy with potential that he has never lived up to in Connor Williams, a potential draft steal in Biadasz, and some plug-and-play options.  They should be able to give Dak enough time to exploit the options he has at the skill positions, but with any sort of injuries and fill-ins the resulting drops in communication and unit cohesion could prove disastrous.

In conclusion, the Dallas offensive line is a land of contrasts.

Defensive Line

The primary need on draft day for the Cowboys, I thought, was getting help for the defensive line.  I couldn’t blame them from taking Lamb, but they didn’t address the line until the 3rd round.  Good pick in Gallimore, not sure it’s going to lead to an immediate impact on the line.  They signed Gerald McCoy as a free agent, who likely would have bolstered the line, but he tore his quad in practice and is gone for the year.  Having lost Robert Quinn to free agency, the D-line seems a real question, and without an immediate impact from  Gallimore or 5th round pick Bradlee Anae, there are likely to be a lot of QBs with a lot of time to pick out receivers, and maybe have a quick snack, while playing Dallas.

Linebacker

Sean Lee, Leighton Vander Esch, and Jaylon Smith are all back and all, for the moment, healthy.  Combined they may be the best LB corps in the league.  Lee almost always get a concussion or 6 during the season, Vander Esch is coming off neck surgery, and Smith’s knee is probably just one wrong step away from leaving his body entirely.  Vander Esch missed significant time last season once his neck owie emerged, and the whole thing started to fall apart.  Much like the offensive line, this is a potentially great unit, (heh), that is one injury away from becoming a weakness.

Secondary

The Cowboys secondary has been a perennial weakness, and losing Byron Jones to Miami didn’t help.  The Cowboys, however, took some significant steps to address that issue this year, drafting two CBs in the first three rounds, signing Ha-Ha Clinton Dix at safety, and, all evidence to the contrary, I suspect that they’re far more interested in Earl Thomas than they’re letting on.  Jerry Jones willingly signed Greg Hardy, you think he gives a shit about signing a guy who occasionally punches a teammate?  It is to laugh.

 

The Coaches

Jason Garrett’s tenure with the Cowboys came to a too late, and largely unlamented, end after a near complete collapse left them out of the play-offs last year, a year they should have won the Godawful NFC East going away.  Jerry Jones leapt at the opportunity to bring in Mike McCarthy, the same Mike McCarthy who used the prime years of Aaron Rodgers’s career to win exactly one Super Bowl.  I, for one, am looking forward to the Cowboys coming up short, literally and figuratively, in crucial situations where McCarthy runs it into the line 3 times from the 5 yard line, then kicks a FG from the 2.

Kicker/Punter

The Conference

The NFC East.

Given the state of the Cowboys defense, especially the line, and what I suspect will happen to the starting LBs at some point, the division is the Eagles’ to lose.  The Cowboys are probably second, but still out of the play-offs, because the Giants and WFT are just hapless.

The Schedule

Looking it over and giving their schedule the same 20 seconds I gave to Kansas City’s I have the Cowboys at 8-8.  They’ll be a fun 8-8, though, probably scoring 30+ a game, but more often than not giving up 31+.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The-The Collins and his band of merry men should remind Jerry how much he likes kneeling in other contexts and then prepare for this stadium to get haz matted in 4 games or less

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Admittedly, I had hoped to see this review written in a teeny-tiny font.

Ah, well, maybe next year…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Gotta admit, I had Jerruh as my NFC East owner most likely to get #MeToo’d.

Then again, he’s probably already buried whatever hos threatened to talk.

Gumbygirl

Probably a whole bunch of them under his stadium/penis extension.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is several million in former spending money and hundreds of ironclad NDAs out there. I mean he’s crazy, but his lawyers aren’t stupid.

Gratliff

Folks, the hockey is good again

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, I’m not watching right now, but how drunk are you?

Game Time Decision

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Is this half a dumpster fire or just a dumpster fire?
/not up on all the interwebs slang

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Full; the 1/2 lid just has not melted yet. Protip; don’t just go over and open up the second lid; it took months for Scotchy’s eyebrows to grow back.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Needs an Iguana Mart logo, then I’d pay $12,562.34 for it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some of the characters may change, but with Jerry, the same background will roll around again.

ballsofsteelandfury

I just finished a work Zoom presentation and I concluded it with “In summary, (workplace) is a land of contrasts.”

I hope you are proud of me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With statements like that you are definitely management material.

Last edited 3 years ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

Should’ve zoombombed your own meeting

Gumbygirl

But is it picaresque and epic in scope?

ballsofsteelandfury

Love the kicker/punter analysis.