Less Than Elite and Thursday Night Open Thread

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Latest posts by Joliet Jake Delhomme (see all)

Well, here we go again. Given the weirdness of the NBA/TNT/AEW schedule, Beerguyrob has ceded control of tonight’s open thread to your resident jackhole. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Wrestling Glossary:

Booker – The person who is responsible for deciding who wins and loses matches. Working with writers (in the modern era), they will also create the long term story lines. Often, bookers are active wrestlers. One such booker/wrestler was in a long-term feud with another  wrestler. He also was using his real-life wife as his manager. To add interest to the feud, he booked a “Winner Gets the Manager” match. To keep the feud going, he booked the other wrestler to win the match, moving his wife to being the other wrestler’s manager. Back in the day, it was very common to book managers to fall in love with their wrestlers. In real life, as they began spending more time together, his wife and the wrestler began having an affair, leading to his divorce and her marriage to the other wrestler. The backstage joke was that he booked his own divorce.

A few years later, the other wrestler would murder her and their son and take his own life. This is the story of Kevin Sullivan, Nancy Sullivan/Benoit and Chris Benoit.

Now, some very attractive women.

The Librarian, Leva Bates
The Alien, Kris Statlander
Dr. Britt Baker DMD
Penelope Ford

So, I saved this photo to keep the mystery of the glossary story above. Chris’ finishing move was a flying head butt from the top rope. His autopsy showed that CTE had given him the brain of a 85 year old Alzheimer patient. Not an excuse, but a reminder that wresting is scripted, not fake. Vice TV has a series called “Dark Side of the Ring”. Always worth a watch. Chris and Nancy get a 2 part episode to start the second season.

Kevin Sullivan, Nancy Sullivan/Benoit, Chris Benoit.
He did this 5 nights a week for 20 years

And now on to the silliness.

I pinky swear I won’t punch you.

Here is what has never happened in the history of professional wrestling. The two wrestlers sit down at a table. They both sign the contract and walk back to the locker room without incident. This is the only way I could be surprised by this segment.

Because tables went so well last time.

Wrestling Glossary:

Getting Over – One of the jobs that veteran wrestlers have when working with younger talent is “getting them over”. This means that they make the younger talent look good so that they can move up the ladder to main event status. Famously, there are a number of veterans who refused to get over younger talent. Hulk Hogan, Triple H, John Cena, Kevin Nash, etc.

Matt has one job in this feud. Make Sammy look strong so he can move up the ladder to main event status. Matt, for all of his faults, is a professional and I expect him to do the job when it is necessary.

Build to All Out.

The last TV show before a pay-per-view is know as the “Going Home” show. It is the last chance to convince people to part with their money to watch wrestling. We are getting close to that point for the All Out PPV on September 5th. This match is meant to set up the All Out Championship Tag Match with Kenny Omega and Hangman Adam Page. Only FTR are heels, so I would guess that they win. Also, Hangman has spent time drinking with FTR over the past few weeks, so they could be part of his heel turn at All Out. If FTR win tonight, the Smark money is on Hangman turning heel at the PPV, giving the title to FTR. Or not. I am an idiot.

Whaaaaaat?

As a Smark, I am still embarrassed that I did not see this win this coming. What I have now heard is that Cody will be doing some acting  with Stephen Amell (Arrow) on his new TV series “Heels” over the next few weeks, which is why they had to take him off of television. This type of segment is usually used to set up a new feud.

Tonight’s sprots:

Wrestling:

AEW Dynamite – 7pm, TNT, TSN2

NBA:

Toronto vs Boston – 5:30pm, ESPN – postponed

NHL:

Philadelphia vs NY Islanders – 6pm, NBCSN – postponed

MLB:

Regional Coverage – 5:30, Fox

Let the beatings commence!

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Joliet Jake Delhomme
My wife has been told to bring my ashes to the bleachers of Wrigley Field and pour me into the ivy. The "Dying Cub Fan's Last Request". Cubs, Bears, LA Kings, Arsenal and GWS Giants fan. Active boycotter of all college sports, having sat in a classroom with a "Student-Athlete". I also watch NASCAR and golf on the weekends, because I like naps.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, I know everyone is asleep (except Moose) but I’m still angry and donating to Biden in honor of the RNC. If you want to join, I’ll just leave this here: https://act.joebiden.com/BVFraiser?attr=101991419

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I want to get hammered and drunk dial Republicans I know

JerBear50

You up? Cuz your poll numbers arent!!!

Gumbygirl

You didn’t watch any of that shitshow, did you?

JerBear50

Fuck no. Not one second of it. Or the DNC for that matter.

Gumbygirl

I watched some of that, just to hear grownups talking for a change.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

JerBear isn’t wrong though. Polling shows almost nobody watched either convention, especially not undecided voters. Which makes sense because if you’re undecided right now you’re probably as politically aware as Terri Schiavo.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh hell no

SonOfSpam

“Hey…is your refrigerator running? Cuz Herman Cain isn’t.”

SonOfSpam

“Do you have Prince Albert in a can? Because I have Prince Andrew on videotape tag-teaming a 10 year old with Trump.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Unfortunately this is bannerworthy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Nailed it!

Don T

For Señor

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

This team will keep rebuilding through the heat death of the universe.

JerBear50

Rebuilding= re-signing Isaiah, maybe pairing him with Mark Jackson.

Last edited 2 months ago by JerBear50
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

So many white people, sitting so close, it’s like Duke-UNC game.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
blaxabbath

“This is a lie! We will now respond with the truth….in a few days.”

Good lord. The only people who buy this bullshit are willingly duped. It almost should’nt be illegal to screw them out of their money — but at least tax the shit out of it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I remember seeing this kinda shit at the checkout stand on the tabloid papers of the day, 50+ yrs ago. Crazy stuff.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Ivanka is literally draining whatever IQ I have left by the word.

Gratliff

I barely made it through night one of the DNC. I would have thrown a grenade at the TV watching the death cult power hour.

Sharkbait

I prefer the term Vichy Republicans

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Horrifically accurate

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

/Stephen Miller cums

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Last edited 2 months ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and she’s certainly not absorbing it.

WCS

Oh, well done, sir.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It seems like what little she had is also going.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not like daddy’s cum anyway.

Sharkbait

Always good to have another voice writing here!

Don T

Thank you for sharing your expertise on something you’re passionate about. It’s great having you around.

blaxabbath

You good

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sorry about the horrendous timing on the layoff, and do your thing around here.

Gratliff

How the hell is PJ Black wrestling in New Japan? That dude broke both his legs multiple times in separate base diving accidents. I’m frankly shocked he can stand.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Petronel

The juice is loose!

Gratliff

Matt Hardy’s spine is basically a solid piece and can not recommend his current career choices

Unsurprised

An unrepentant piece of shit like that could be president

Gratliff

70 year old Matt Hardy dressed like he just walked in through a ring of fire is fucking hilarious
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Gratliff

Unsurprised

The dumbest people in the world are the suckers who think this or any other President of the Motherfucking United States will ever be prosecuted in or after serving in office.

Petronel

Sammy “Spanish God” Guevara, one half of Le Sex Gods (with Jericho)…who came out to his first AEW match in a huge panda head.

CARDS TIME

Last edited 2 months ago by Petronel
WCS

So is Tom Cotton.

Gratliff

Rebel really leaning into that “Former TNA knockout” thing

Petronel

Maybe not tonight, but it’s gotta happen sooner or later.

Gratliff

Suddenly thought of the voodoo episode of Thunder in Paradise where Hulk Hogan gets turned into a zombie briefly
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In case you can’t find a dumpster.

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Gratliff

Correct.

Gratliff

Beerguyrob

It’s been a pretty solid show so far.

Petronel

If it was only this easy to get rid of Cody’s tattoo…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Petronel

And our brush with greatness is over

Gratliff

Fenix is a glitch

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Does not work 26th through 29th day.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Petronel

Sonny Kiss: best butt in AEW

Gratliff

Oh shit, it’s Eddie Kingston