Yes, by God and Sonny Jeebus, this time next week we get the Premiership back, and perhaps enough decent-ish JV NFL to whet our heroine-withdrawn lips. As for today…you get FUCKALL and will like it.
Pretend Man City rages on. In the Year of Our Pretend LAWD 2061, I won the stupid Club World Cup…but not the Cursed Caribou. So, no 7 trophies = we pretend go marching on. I have over $1.6B (yes, billion with a “b”) in my transfer kitty. There’s no way I can ever spend it all. Feels like a Pretend Rockefeller or sommet.
In quasi-reality, Everton has a shiny new midfield. Boy howdy, did they need it. Perhaps as importantly, signals are that Gylfi Sigurddson, Theo Walcott, and their similar deadwooders are heading to the Lesser Farm in the Country. None to soon.
I reckon it will be October before I return to my normal level of Toffee jadedness.
Oh, and lest I forget – got quite the Friday chuckles over Li’l Messi’s Evita routine. Jesus, the saddest thing is…I think he really believes his own bullshit. Dude, you’ns in about as much touch with reality as teh Hippo. This is not a compliment.
Really, truly, I have nothing else to say to you fine imaginary people. Talk amongst yourselves.
We’re doing a live fantasy draft at the top of the hour and this being the Year of Our Fucking Lord 2020 we’re having a Zoom meeting instead of getting together.
This fucking year man.
Doing our auction Monday am via league website and chat function. And I am scarily grateful for this faint approximation of Auction Day.
At least it”s at 10a EST, so I should be able to stave off my #NuAIDS nap until the end.
Please let me know if someone says this and you respond sarcastically. I’d suggest it be more subtle, but at this point…..
Puebla for Litre!
JFC. Gfycat is more ads than videos without ad blockers running. Anyway,
https://gfycat.com/gifs/search/uncle+jeff+ryan
You know what’s kind of funny? There Will Be Blood is one of those movies that has become a go-to for just watching something well-made to relax (and what I used to fall asleep to when I had a TV in my bedroom). Meanwhile, you couldn’t pay me to watch No Country For Old Men because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I should probably sign off of the internet today, because it ain’t gonna get any better than this:
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Multiple boats sink at Trump boat parade on Texas' Lake Travis – CBS News <a href=”https://t.co/kHb1pupfOi”>https://t.co/kHb1pupfOi</a></p>— Anthony Andrew (@TwotwentyOne1) <a href=”https://twitter.com/TwotwentyOne1/status/1302347168187998208?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>September 5, 2020</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>
That link seems broken. Here you go.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/lake-travis-trump-boat-parade-multiple-boats-sinking-austin-texas-2020-09-05/
Hashtag #dumbkirk.
https://twitter.com/search?q=%23dumbkirk
https://twitter.com/Baligubadle1/status/1302346516015845377
Video of the boat on fire.
https://twitter.com/capone214/status/1302345079751954433
That is brilliant.
Eldest brother has officially departed for Reno so it’s just me and DJ TAJ now.
I kind of feel like dancing a little bit.
Fuck it, I’ll open a beer instead.
To new horizons!
Got the perfect beer for you:
?v=1569058029
Jesus Christ that is a lot bigger than I thought it would be!
/Things my wife has never said to me for $400, Alex
Except when talking about the blister.
Marshall playing football in the face of a pandemic makes sense, because having 12% of the team die is nothing to them.
This comment is going to crash.
Was Rob Bironas driving it?
Piloting.
Which one of you assholes was talking about the show ‘Queen of the South’? Because I started watching it and now I need to see how it ends, (or at least what the do for the 4 seasons available on Netflix), and it took two full seasons for the heroin(e), (see what I did there?), to pay for the first load of drugs and I’m kind of hating myself right now.
Queen of the South…..
Are you talking about Greg Abbott?
I am thru season 1 and its phenomenal
2020 waiting for us to come in.
Shit. What did I ever do with the gifs I made from Veep episodes?
Brisket will be ready around 4pm. Welcome to go over.
“Did someone say brisket?”
Borble!
Folks
Ladies and germs.
I think I’ll be having chili dogs again for lunch. And then dark & stormys.
Is “dark & stormy” what you call your bathroom after a chili dog lunch?
+three hours.
It’s fine.
Zoo trip, complete. Now at the pub to watch the local futbol heroes dispatch the pesky club from Toronto.
Who is the cute soccer chick on ABC?
Alexei something, I think
Topless photo.
found a funny:
Wife: I want a divorce because your enthusiasm’s turned into bitter sarcasm
Tony the Tiger: great
here be moar funnehs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=670MSPhYFiU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TrYOhpElJM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzJDrwQ5os4
Also hello, y’all …How ya degenerate pervosaurs are doin’ this fine eve
Just enjoying Arsenal Twitter’s reaction to losing a pre-season match against Aston Villa.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYKlLUym414
Twitter’s always reacting like a shitgibbon on meth’n’PCP on any topic, so what else is new 😀
I clearly did not put enough THC in my system for this zoo trip.
Don’t go with too much.
Ooh! A hatchback. Would daily drive.
Re: Messi
He wanted out and was told by his lawyers he could, so he did.
Bartomeu is a stubborn idiot and could have negotiated a transfer fee that would give Barcelona some money back but he didn’t.
Instead of going to court, sitting out the year, and potentially having the court add an extra year to his contract, Messi decided to stay and leave next year for nothing.
Who’s the idiot? From where I’m scratching my balls, it’s Bartomeu as he won’t get ANYTHING and has to deal with a disgruntled player all year.
Or Messi, because he’s not getting any younger and it’s also becoming glaringly obvious that without a proper supporting cast, he’s not worth the massive price tag… and that with a good-to-great supporting cast, everyone will be good enough and who knows if “the interest” in him is still there in a year. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised that if the interest isn’t there that he not only remains in the Barcelona Theatre and Footy Troupe, but he does so on a lesser contract than now
Yeah, but he’s made his money. He doesn’t need more. He will probably join Man City next year for a very reasonable contract and then go to the MLS City farm in a couple of years to retire.
Turns out Sunderland didn’t start the season today, but lost in the Carabou Cup or something like that.
5-4 on PKs, which sounds exactly like what they’ve done in both of the Netflix seasons. Poor Black Cats.
At least it sounds like Hippo has survived teh rona…
Konichiwa, bitches
In related news, apparently Peter Sellers is dead! Some internet wobsite starts his bio with
which seems a little boastful.
Oh, Hell
If Dallas wins this hockey series, they should get to change the line in Dr. Strangelove back to it’s original, “a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Dallas with all that stuff.”
oooooh, in just a few hours time, we can has choice of Eastern Kentucky/Marshall or Middle Tennessee/Army! I have such the case of palpitations!!
/may just be the #NuAIDS heart thingy
I have a draft at 4 and an auction at 7. My bestest buddy is a Jets fan and I’ll be doing my spot-on Adam Gase impression by asking, Has Frank Gore been taken yet? about every other round or so.
wat
Rule 34.
about half way thru this book SANDWORM by Andy Greenberg
really cool
the chapter about the WannaCry ransomware that hit back in 2017 is fascinating
When do you think you’ll be Dune, I mean, finished?
Sunderland, of ‘Sunderland ‘Til I Die’ fame on Netflix, gets started today vs. Hull City in hot League One action, which is like AA baseball, or Montana State JV football, or so I’m led to believe.
Huge stadium, though.
Man, I enjoyed that Netflix series, though I felt guilty in my soul. Like watching a slow motion, fatal car crash.
The second season I felt that tosser deserved everything he got!
The cafeteria lady, though. Scenes.
Agreed, the hard ass GM they brought in earned that fate. Fucking splitter.
He was a right cunt, as the saying goes. I believe he’s been canned, although I’m not positive.
Dear London Jaguras,
You are back, that’s great! Remember last time when our back 4 was a step slower in every aspect? Yeah, well 3 of the 4 are the fucking same, and now 2 years older!!!!!! SIGN SOMEONE OR ELSE WE WILL YOYO AGAIN KHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!
Signed,
Mighty Whitey Fans.
(There are quite a few of us in N.A. due to past signings like Dempsey et al.)
I am watching ‘Justified’ again thanks to the wonders of Hulu, and in one of the first season episodes the killer, a horse trainer from Kentucky, is wearing a Fulham pullover.
I was so impressed that I DM’d Litre at about 11:00 pm EST, but since he lives in the wilds of Canada I think it was like 6 pm three Tuesdays before.
“You’ll never leave Fulham aliiiiive”
I was definitely impressed that the auto gyro stopped here on its way to Siam.
I feel like the PANDEMIC is giving solid cover while the NFL initiates changes to start letting teams break their leases early and, thus, grift cities for billions in freebies ahead of schedule.
I always hold my breath when I see the cyclists in the Tour de France speed down the mountainside.
It would make a lot better teevee if they used drunken amateUrs, eh?
“That’s a long time, can I interest you in some oxygen rich blood transfusions? (opens trenchcoat to reveal blood bags)”
-Lance A.
/hyperventilates in Transylvanian
-Vlad Dracula