Your Monday Evening Stanley Cup Semi-Finals Preview & Open Thread

Beerguyrob
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NFL News:

  • It’s Labor Day, and team offices are closed, so let’s talk about who got paid yesterday:
    • Jadeveon Clowney: a 1-year deal worth up to $15 million with the Titans
    • Cam Heyward: a 4-year, $65.6 million extension with the Steelers
    • Adrian Peterson: a one-year deal with the Lions worth up to $2.3 million

Well, the Toronto sports media are now happy they only need to focus on CANADA’S TEAM THE RAPTORS!!1!11 rather than wasting ink & broadband on a hockey team from outside the 416. Well, with that in mind, and Dunstan’s banner quote still fresh, let’s knuckle down & examine the Final Frozen Four.

Dallas Stars vs. Vegas Golden Knights 

Welcome to the series that shouldn’t have been. Colorado totally deserved to win Game Seven, despite the fact that they had to come back from 3-1 down to do it. Vancouver never should have been allowed back into their series, and only a kid looking to prove something got them that far.

Unlike the East, I picked both of their previous series correctly, although I said six games each, not seven.

Going into the third round, it all comes down to stamina & goaltending at this point. Each team survived their second round by playing a physical game. They’ve been able to roll at least three solid & consistent line combinations, and while their scoring numbers aren’t the best, they were able to pot one more goal than their opponents enough times to have gotten this far. Not being afraid to hit, get hit or block shots is what kept them ahead, and ultimately allowed them to survive their opponents coming back from 3-1 deficits to force those Games Seven.

On the surface, Dallas appears to be the strong team in net. The quinella of Bishop & Khudobin have provided the consistency needed to get Dallas through to the next round. The thing with Vegas is that, history shows, Marc-Andre Fleury is prone to meltdowns during the playoffs, and he has yet to have it. The deeper Vegas goes, the more reliant they’ve become on Robin Lehner, who has had his own public battles with demons. And that’s a problem, because if/when Lehner breaks down, they have to go with the Fleury wildcard, and no one knows how long he can go before the yips kick in.

Conclusion: A tight series that will be won by the team whose goaltenders can hold out mentally.

Prediction: Stars in six.


Tampa Bay Lightning vs. NY Islanders 

I called the exact opposite of this series, figuring we’d get the excitement & hard hitting of a Bruins-Flyers series. Because something inside me said that God was good, and I thought that after all we’ve been through this year, we might get one nice thing before the meteor takes us all out sometime around Christmas.

Instead, we get the number one offence in the East versus the number one defence. I’m not sure “riveting” will be the first word that comes to most fans’ minds.

Gary Bettman’s mind doesn’t care, because he hates hockey almost as much as he hates the Canadian teams.

For the Islanders to succeed, they have to shut down the firm of Kucherov & Point, who have combined for a total of 34 points between them in the prior three rounds. Their defence has been stellar, plugging up the middle so effectively the Bruins were stymied in their attenpts to build any momentum after their Game 1 victory. I haven’t seen a team stick so solidly to a strategy during a playoff run, but it’s worked for them.

But Tampa has nothing on the Islanders when it comes to “sticking to the game plan”. The Barry Trotz “hang back & wait” method of plugging up the neutral zone could bring back the dark days of the trap if they are able to succeed in frustrating the Lightning & viewers, as teams will resort to that method of success in order to placate their fan base. The counterpunch style they play lulled both sets of opponents into falling for the notion that the Islanders weren’t good enough to win games; instead, their strategy forced teams into mistakes that made them lose. Why the Islanders are able to succeed, where most others will fail with this strategy, is because of the goaltending, as Varlamov & Greiss were able to (mostly) shut the door on the Flyers.

Conclusion: I want the Islanders to win because their boring hockey will seem like a punishment to the league & its ratings, but it will still validate Gary Bettman for not allowing the Islanders to move to Quebec back in 2011 or 2015. Whereas, Tampa winning validates his “southern strategy”, so either way I’m fucked.

Prediction: Tampa Bay in six.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Islanders vs. Lightning – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Toronto Raptors vs. Boston Celtics – 6:30PM | TNT / TSN
      • Game 5 – series tied 2-2
    • Los Angeles Clippers vs. Denver Nuggets – 9:00PM | TNT / TSN4
      • Game 3 – series tied 1-1
  • College Football:
    • BYU at Navy – 8:00PM | ESPN
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Yankees – 6:30PM | Sportsnet1
    • Rockies at Padres – 9:00PM | FS1
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
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Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Horatio Cornblower

Great song by one of my favoUrite bands growing up, with an absolutely stunning assist from the B-52’s Kate Pearson.

Gumbygirl

A Hard Day’s Night coming on TCM in a few minutes

Horatio Cornblower

Wow, me too! What a coinci…Oh. TCM. I thought you said “on the TV.”

Well, this is awkward.

Horatio Cornblower

if your flight has to be delayed, get stuck with these guys

Horatio Cornblower

I love me some shit-kickin’ banjo.

Horatio Cornblower

For WCS

Horatio Cornblower

WCS

I’m just going to stay with Kosmo as long as I can stay awake. I want to be with him, and, I think he wants me nearby. He’s been wailing whenever he notices I’m not around.

Long story short, I might be posting a lot overnight.

Horatio Cornblower

Kosmo is a dog, I’m guessing?

Been there, man. Our dog previous to this one took a sudden turn late in life and my wife and I took turns sleeping on the floor next to her so she wouldn’t be alone. It sucks but you’re doing the right thing.

Vaya con Dios.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought Kosmo was a cat, but I’m not s doctor

Horatio Cornblower

They’re all family.

Unless it’s a fish. That’d just be weird.

WCS

He’s my cat. Wifey have had him 15 years; he’s been my best friend, confidant, and someone I can just complain to over the years,

I love the bastard, but, I think I’m out of tears by now. I’m just going to sit next to him until he checks out.

TheRevanchist

So very sorry to hear.

Horatio Cornblower

He’ll know you were there and it’ll be the last thing he remembers. That’s a good thing. if there’s any goddamn justice in this universe you’ll see him again.

FelonySqwrrl

Same. I lost my BFF cat a few years ago and I still think about him all the time.

FelonySqwrrl

I had a betta at work who was as much of a character as a fish can be. I still miss him.

Gumbygirl

Poor Kosmo. Poor you. It’s hard, but just pet his head and tell him you love him, and that he is a very good boy. That’s all you can do. That’s all he wants.

Horatio Cornblower

Horatio Cornblower

My only complaint is that this song is too damn short

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Attempt number two at making a paleta was a major improvement

Horatio Cornblower

This isn’t Americana but it is, hands down, the greatest road trip song that ever was or ever will be created. I will fight you if you say otherwise. I will lose, of course, but it will still be the greatest road trip song ever written, despite my weak jab and lack of coordination and stamina.

Senor Weaselo

Thought it was going to be this one.

Horatio Cornblower

Close, I’m not gonna lie.

Horatio Cornblower

Jason Isbell might be the best songwriter working today, and he’s a fun twitter follow as well

SonOfSpam

He is quite good for a hick.

j/k he good

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck it, I’m spamming this shit with some Americana.

SonOfSpam

Do not use my name as a negative.

First/last warning.

Horatio Cornblower

This is Sophie Turner, (on the left, for the easily confused), I just couldn’t find a version of her in the Giants shirt that would show up.
comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Adam Ottavino managed to give up 6 runs without getting a single out, and I don’t think the Yankees are going to make the World Series* this year.

*Play-offs, because, really, why bother?

Doktor Zymm

Shit. I just realized the worst thing about getting older. All the amazing older people I want to hang out with are slowly dying off.

Horatio Cornblower

I made my son a margarita tonight and he is fucked up.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I made myself a maga-rita tonight and all it did was make me virulently racist.

Doktor Zymm

Cheap drunk is the best argument for losing weight

Doktor Zymm

I miss the Kiev

Senor Weaselo

Two for Yanni?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just shaved down to a moustache.

Mistakes were made.

Gratliff

Doktor Zymm

Could be worse. You could have performed a miracle and turned all the sugar in your place into cocaine, and then tried to bake cookies.

Doktor Zymm

IT’S A GOOD DAY FOR COOKIE DAY

herodotus450

Well Tampa only beat the Brouins 7-1 in the last round, so I guess this is an improvement.

rockingdog

comment image

Doktor Zymm

aw

Unsurprised

Argo has no right to be this good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve said the same thing about argon. The noblest of gases!

Gratliff

Checking out the new Creepshow on Shudder and it’s a who’s who of B-movie all-stars

Doktor Zymm
herodotus450

It wasn’t me, who remembered.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He who recollected it ejected it.

herodotus450

Lightning looking unstoppable. What if the Buccanners are actually good? And who cares about Basedball? Tampa Champa-nship sweep?

Gratliff

I see. The flyers were just trash.

Doktor Zymm

You seen Chicago? It was based off a series of real murders where the lovely ladies who killed their men got off cuz ladies. One of em killed her lover or husband, forget which, while listening to Hula Lou on repeat.

Doktor Zymm

When reached for comment. “It’s a good song”

herodotus450

Chicago, murders? Why I never…

Senor Weaselo

He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.

Senor Weaselo

Obligatory:

Doktor Zymm

Hey, remember Molly Hatchet? Remember when you could listen to something that was kinda country and not Dolly and maybe some of the audience wasn’t worthless?

Gratliff

Remember when The Dixie Chicks lost their fan base overnight for being against the Iraq War?

Gratliff

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Too bad they didn’t get it back when they turned out to be right

rockingdog

last funny:

Civil War generals as Muppets

https://twitter.com/CNZander/status/1302796370563170304

Doktor Zymm

Back to work tomorrow. It’s a damn shame I don’t know how to get any hard drugs.

Redshirt

I know people who know people, but I have a face that screams “NARC!” so no one would sell to me.

Senor Weaselo

Remember when the back end of the Dirt Giants’ bullpen was supposed to be the greatest bullpen in history? Yeah about that…

rockingdog

found a funny:

It’s called synesthesia, maybe you’ve tasted it

Redshirt

“Draft Day” is on FOX. I find it hard to believe the Owner, General Manager and Head Coach are not on the same page on the biggest day of a NFL Franchise’s year…well, its based on the Browns and I’ve been a Bengals fan since the ’90s, so…

But how can a team not have a really good idea who they are going to draft on Draft Day or an overall strategy…well, its based on the Browns and I’ve been a Bengals fan since the ’90s, so…

But what about the trades that GM Costner pulls out of his ass to save his job…well, weirder trades have been done in real life…

I think we have have misjudged this movie. Its seems to have done its homework.

Senor Weaselo

I’m guessing considering it’s based on the Browns they forget to send something in and it goes in the books as a “Pass”?

herodotus450

French(Canadian) intermission show is called “Sans Filet;” those vegetarian monsters!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck, I’m hungry

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m getting drunk and listening to Ta-Nehisi Coates. Jesus it is depressing to think about the responsibility we collectively bear for the fuckedupedness in this country.

Brick Meathook

I bear no responsibility for anyone else’s lack of self esteem.

(except for my stunning good looks, enormous wealth, and huge cock)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Your cock needs to help end racism

yeah right

Oddly enough my cock has more than done its part.

Redshirt

My cock hasn’t procreated and created more Conservatives in the world. That must count for something.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good job not making it worse…yet

Horatio Cornblower

My people didn’t come over until about 1840, so I’m not taking responsibility for anything that happened before then.

Horatio Cornblower

Folks, I need one person to join one of the oldest DFO FF leagues. Draft is tomorrow, and we lost one person, (or at least they’re not responding. Gratuitous Simpsons References. On Yahoo. Draft tomorrow, 6 pm PDT/9 pm EST. No money, just a chance to shit talk 11 other DFOers, full and part-time.

If interested let me know and I will email you an invite to take over the Free Hot Dogs team, and you can absolutely change the name. And if you’re the owner of Free Hot Dogs, check your goddamn email.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t wanna, but if no one steps up, sign me up, I’ll show up for the draft and proceed to suck all season.

It’s like the worst Debbie does dallas reboot possible

Redshirt

I would but I’ve never done Fantasy Football nor know how to do it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/phew

Horatio Cornblower

Send me your email* over at Slack; I’ll send the invite to you posthaste.

Social Security, D/O/B and mother’s maiden name optional, but appreciated.

yeah right

I’ll be there drafting LIVE! Just know that I’ll be drafting from work and will probably end up working late if the draft gets compelling. And I’m salaried!

litre_cola

That is me. I never got the email. Weird. I apologize.
Someone for sure can take my spot. I am in too many and beginning to get the stink eye from Mrs. Cola.

Horatio Cornblower

You must have changed your email. Beerguy will do you proud, I’m sure.

TheRevanchist

If you still need a warm body, hit me up in Slack. I’ll keep my phone on while I pretended to do work tomorrow.

King Hippo

I’m guessing the Stormin’ Mormons probably had better scrimmages, since they don’t believe in that Fake News/Jew/Commie/Libtard virus.

rockingdog

Dallas Star gonna win a title before the cowboys?
cools

Horatio Cornblower

Pretty sure they already have, when Brett Hull kicked in the winning goal against Buffalo.

herodotus450

I know they’re dirty French-Canadians (at least I assume they are), but I keep going back to their hockey feeds

King Hippo

Also re lunatic asylums, I always loved this song. First Wave is the tits, y’all:

herodotus450

King Hippo

also pretty damned righteous

Gratliff

Horatio Cornblower

Go Birds

yeah right

Agreed. Love that song too.

Gratliff

Venture Bros formally cancelled because nothing good gets to survive this year

King Hippo

Don’t be all jinxing Diamond Joe like that, I no trust Kamala to carry the banner solo (after that primary campaign).

Gratliff

He sounded like he was going to die halfway through that healthcare commercial

King Hippo

Lord help us, let the DNC be working on a “Weekend at Bernie’s” scenario.

/with living Bernie and the whole primary crew helping out

King Hippo

No Canadia = no Hippo ice FITBAW watching

/man, I miss the Prem’s faux crowd sounds, Navy/Original Recipe Big Love sounds like it’s being played in a lunatic asylum

Gratliff

I am withholding my playoff rage until I see what this round looks like. I’ll feel alot better if they do the same thing to the lightning.

Game Time Decision

Want the islanders to win so that Taveras’ old team made if farther than his current team

WCS

If my kitty somehow survives the night, we have an appointment to put him down tomorrow. Poor guy can’t even stand up.

Game Time Decision

boooooooooo

King Hippo

Jeebus, this year. Sending peaceful vibes to you and the whole family.

/a cat or dog dying is one of the permitted exceptions for male crying

Viva La Tabula Raza

Heart goes out, just went through this a couple weeks ago with a dog of mine. STILL second-guessing myself.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sorry about your pussy

Unsurprised

I’m sorry about your kitty

WCS

NHL Playoffs and college football in the same night? What is this, 2019?