[turns BEST BRA EVER! admercial off]
It’s almost too much football, isn’t it? Kidding! No, it is not. TO THE GAMES!!!
Jets/Bills:
Did the Vikes front office giggle a bit when they traded the league’s best downfield wr (% of passes caught 20+ yards from LOS) to the Bills so that he could be paired with the league’s worst downfield passer? Probably. Singletary’s usage last year befuddled me-a dynamic, breakaway type back, he was used behind Gore when the latter was clearly fading. Now Zack Moss is the apple of McDermott’s and Daboll’s eyeballs. It seems that this coaching staff is in ‘Back To the 80’s!’ mode.
Fins/Pats:
I’m forced to cheer for a Pats player because I want to see Cam do well. Please shoot me.
Browns/Ravens:
So many offensive weapons on the field in this game. Should be a fun game to watch and yes, that is the first time that word has ever been uttered in the context of these two cities. Sure it’s an easy joke but… I’ve got nothing.
Colts/Jags:
Lots of debate among conservative fantasy players as to whether or not one should start Taylor. Look, the Jags have one of the worst run D’s in the league-both Mack and Taylor will have about 15 carries and a score by game’s end.
Eagles/Team:
Sanders is a goner so play Boston Scott if ya gotta. One concern is that Team has a very impressive D-line now. As always (it seems) Philly’s wr’s are nicked up-play DeSean before he joins the wounded.
Bears/Lions:
Golladay tweaked his hammy and didn’t practice on Friday. The Lions would be stupid to play him, so he’s a go? Pivot over to Hockenson, he’s my candidate for 2nd year breakout tight end.
Pack/Vikes:
Dalvin got paid! Anyway… That Minny D that one could always count on to force the issue has only 5 returning players from 2019 playing today. Reportedly, A.J. Dillon’s thighs are in action this afternoon. The fellas on the Sirius fantasy channel were gushing like schoolgirls at a K-pop concert the day the photos came out. [rolls eyes]
‘Hawks/Falcons:
Gotta love the combo of Matty Ice/his receiving options and the lousy Atlanta D. Perhaps his first 5,000 yard season is in play? He’s been very close twice before. There will be no fans at this game. By choice.
Raiders/Panthers:
Everyone is jawing about Ruggs 3 but 3rd round wr Bryan Edwards did the wowing in camp. Them Las Vegans have quite a bit of young talent at the rb/wr spots-how long before they give Carr the old boot?
There’s your first slate. Have at it.
Empty echo chamber stadiums means every “FUCK!” is amplified and I don’t think most broadcasters are ready to keep apologizing for it.
1st QB hurt, benched, killed by dogs?
Am going with Philip Rivers
This reminds me of that time Dungy and Reid tried to make up for their dead sons by adopting Mike Vick
DAK! You make Andy Dalton your backup, you’re pretty much daring the Football Gods at that point.
I don’t know why it never occurred to me to just throw a stream of WIP on with RedZone on the TV before. Will be a cold day in hell before I get DirecTV, so this will have to do
Sweet. 1st time I get to use my 4k monitors on a Football Sunday and all my tabs just the size now.
Lol on DC, one of the announcers already got three quarters of redacted out of his mouth and had to start over.
Countdown Clock OMG it’s happening
Huddle up people. Just want to wish the best of health and good luck to many of you and your favorite teams. May we have a healthy and competitive season and may it reach a full season conclusion. Best to you and your loved ones and most importantly FUCK THE PACKERS!
Yours in football,
yeah right
Skol!
Ah the best thing the announcers can say about cleveland “it’s been a quiet off-season with no major crimes or staph outbreaks”
Why the fuck do I follow this team?!?!
Like with most of our allegiances, it’s a creative way of hating ourselves.
We are absolutely dog-walking Spurs the 2nd half. I am apopletic.
Ravens stadium is just like Baltimore. All the middle and upper class whites have fled to the suburbs.
All the streaming services are basically the same as cable now, way overpriced for a bunch of shit channels. Good thing I was around during the Napster era and am totally comfortable with pirating content
How the fuck is fan duel legal and is there any industry that the NFL would say no to if offered a lot of money?
Like if it was $2 billion….the NFL would allow NAMBLA commercials right?
Jimmy Johnson not in studio. not a dummy
Live look at Aaron Rodgers warming up with Jordan Love
So how much more racist will Pats fans be if they lose today? Also, if they win?
YES
Twitter is not handling the NFL mentioning tolerance very well.
1-nil to the TOFFEES!!!!!
Is Sunday Ticket doing a free preview day again this year?
Direct TV is. Channels 703+
All the Bills/Jets you want.
I wonder if anyone signed up. I guess if they guaranteed pro-rated refund when covid kills the season it wouldn’t be a bad bet.
So I played Madden NFL 21 (while it was free this weekend) with the Bengals, so I could at least see how different Burrow was from Dalton, a healthy AJ Green and the Bengals dismantling the Ravens.
Also, the NFL really needs to relax the helmet rules so the Bengals can wear their uniforms from the 1970s. They would be much nicer than their orange jerseys.
Eagles brought back 3 DBs from last year which is 2 too many. Do appreciate the Lions just giving away Darius Slay though.
NFL is gonna freak Trump’s America with this promo for tolerance on both channels at the same time.
NFL Network currently playing Lift Every Voice And Sing, as well
Not on ESPN though.
BOO! How dare these people ask for unity and compassion!
– Chiefs fans
“They are saying I need to be more tolerant? This is unforgivable!”
Wentz has his helmet on. Idiot.
I am so hungover I just went outside and puked in a bush. Now, white wine time.
This right here is a champion among men.
Nobody likes a quitter!
Not at home. Or else Mrs Cola would look at me with disdain.
Ah a “Bay Area Sunday Workout”
smart. keep that smell outside.
I’ve been using Yahoo’s stat tracker for scoreboard watching for around 15 years at this point. Have they made anything better yet?
Short answer no.
I checked for everyone, Covid didn’t take down Bradshaw.
I’m sure he considers it a Fake News/Jew/Libtard/Commie hoax, so he’s immune rite??
Watching him defend players having the right to demonstrate during the national anthem is pretty wild.
It’s still funny how no one is allowed to mention that the entire reason this shit happens is because the NFL owners are greedy and sell their players as commerical props to the national guard without payment to said players.
How big is his boat?
-Mike Ditka
Philadelphia coaching staff is very big on consistency, so the injury report will very closely reflect the one they had at the end of last year
Are NFL blackout rules in place?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuuhsqA95iA&ab
https://gfycat.com/CarefreePerfumedJaeger
Morning Folks
Morning, Imaginary Metallic Boot Accessory
I really hate Harry Fuckface Kane
Everton starting ALL THREE new dudes, NO “stealing a living” fuckers in the XI. Let’s fookin’ GO!!!
Anyone have a replacement for r/NFLstreams now that it got banned?
Paying for cable is mines.
I’m in a geography where I ain’t gonna get Da Bears
Sports24.club
You, sir, are a Sunday hero
It’s easier to be out-of-market as a Donks fan – being in the less congested window (most weeks), RedZone coverage usually is sufficient.
Pirating Hippo’s cable is mine.
I wonder if I can stream my DirecTV redzone on Discord, hmmm, gonna go and play
Closest I can get is sharing my screen, sort of like Webex
The Bastards have disabled being able to stream to
computers for redzone
Alright, lets see what I got for the Early Afternoon Games for Week 1:
FOX: Packers @ Vikings
CBS: Bengals Home Opener Special, We Have a Dream, and 15/15 Bucking Battle Ariat Invitational on CBS.
Go Buck Yourself, NFL Television Rules!
Feels very weird to be back on eastern time for an nfl Sunday. WHY HAVEN’T THE GAMES STARTED YET?
Wait until the night games. When I moved to Jersey from California I either didn’t see or couldn’t remember the finish of any Monday Night Football game.
Take it from an Eastern Time Zone veteran. Eventually, you’ll stay up and remember all the night games. Then you’ll blink and suddenly you’ll be at work around 10:35 with no memory how you got there or what you did.
-Scotchy, being questioned about his whereabouts the previous evening
I LOVE calling the Redacteds TEAM like that. Well done.
I am so torn. I get two games I want to see.
Do I watch Lamar Jackson and his crazy offensive capability go against my long disappointing Browns on CBS?
Or do I watch announcers struggle to not accidentally use the DC team old name on Fox?
I just hope the current No Tolerance climate of today allows for accidental slips of the tongue. We may have to have a revolving door installed in the broadcasting booth.
Redzone is the answer
Today and always
It is official. The team I hate the most this season (after the Raiders, FOAR Donks-homer reasons) is Team MRSA. I hope Breesus Christ rips them a new asshole today.
I kind of would enjoy Grumblelord doing better than Dreamboat, and smirking about it endlessly.
Plus MAKE UP YOUR MIND ON MIKE EVANS, you’re killing me for ff
Hot taek: PK goals should not count towards your season total.
Hotter taek: West Brom Albion is going right back down to the Championship
You’re not wrong.
I don’t even follow the sport and I agree with you. The hopes of your season shouldn’t have to rely on one person hitting a ball past another while everyone watches. If so, then hockey and football should replace overtime with penalty picks, all American football games should replace overtime with field goals, NBA should replace overtime with free throws and baseball should replace extra inning with homerun derbies.
If its good enough to decide playoffs and your sport’s champion, it should be good enough to decide winners of games.
I would argue that soccer OT should just have both teams lose a player every 10 minutes. Eventually it needs up with a score or got forbid, two goalies trying to get past each other.
Hockey needs to do that too. With the goalies still in full pads, if it goes down to 1-on-1.
I can get behind all of this
Somewhere Balls’s ears are burning
Until Toffee kickoff, RedZone muzak it is!!
Since TankBoy did ask about one I set up a discord channel for anyone who wants to join:
https://discord.gg/7vw6Aby
Is this, like, voice-based Commentisting?
I thinks its what the Uproxx Wrestling Refugees used when Stroud was outed as a complete monster and Uproxx Future Endeavored pro wrestling.
I never saw how that ended. I knew Stroud was found out to be a huge piece of shit and that he didn’t write a couple of scheduled posts while Uproxx went radio silent on the whole subject.
Then I lost interest.
That’s pretty much what happened. Uproxx removed wrestling from their website and fired the other writers, while saying they would return wrestling at a later date.
As of this reply, it isn’t “a later date” yet.
Sorry, went to fix brunch. Yes, it is Hippo.
I’ve survived this offseason…(sees late afternoon start for Bengals game and current state of COVID-19)…probably.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1cj2M_Mprw
It’ll be AJ Green Leg Injury O’Clock before you know it.
At least they stayed away from Dayton this year.
Since it’s Sunday, let us pray. Turn your hymnal to page 1:
©️ Xmas Ape (2009)
MrBeldingVoice hey!Hey!HEY!HEY! /MrBeldingVoice
Other sports distract us when there is no football!
Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I watched a bunch of Frenchies ride some bikes really fast? At least, I think they were Frenchies.
Since 500s already played, I get to see the new Pats here in SoTex. Gonna be weird without Brady. Now I get to time travel back to when we consistently sucked.
But with MUCH MOAR racism!!
Always get a chuckle out of the “Wonderkid” depiction on Footy Manager. Sounds like how Marc Trestman would describe his “new friend” that he just met at the mall, yeah?
Anyone have any thoughts on a Terry McLaurin / Antonio Gibson stack on daily fantasy today? I’m running off the goddamn end of the earth in my head with it.
I am paying basically no attention to the ‘Dacteds. Shit QB, muddled depth chart.
Great preview as always. Toffees providing lead-in entertainment. Hippo content.
I thought Hippo content was for tomorrow morning?
Fuck it’s early! What am I doing up at 5 AM on a Sunday?!?
/looks down at himself taking a dump.
Oh.
Carry on then. Good job on the thread Scotchy!
[blushes in Canadian]
It’s actually MIA/NE. Does that alter your fandom? I love when the Dolphins piss off Belihump.
Oopsie. Thanks.
I will hope that Cam does okay and the Fins clobber the Pats. We all owe Miami a debt of gratitude for winning that last regular season game and forcing the Pats to play the wildcard game.