Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread

This thing… This fucking thing is playing with my sanity. Been holed up too long, starving on memories and something’s going to break. Soon…

I hated being out of touch with what’s going on in this town. I need to get a feel for this place so I took to walking at three or four in the morning, just snooping around. Early on I figured there might be something to be had around schools because everything was shut down. “There’s not even any need for custodians”, I thought. You see, the homeless naturally gravitate to spots where people aren’t. For the most part they want to be left alone, un-hassled by cops or any authority figure really, as they drink and fuck (if they’re lucky) and eat and sleep.

I found a school about 15 minutes away that looked promising. There were at least two entrances that I could see that had walls built around them-a perfect place to curl up with a fetid blanket and sleep off the rotgut. I looked for the tell-tale signs-cigarette butts, beer bottles, junk food wrappers but no luck. It didn’t make any sense. But then I walked around to the back and I figured I might have hit the jackpot. A huge parking lot, two baseball fields next to one another and a small forest of pines and elms behind the fields. I realized there was housing behind the forest so no doubt the decades and decades of kids that lived there created paths to get to the school and back home again. Not wishing to press my luck I peeked into the dugout and yes! the signs were all there. I marched home quickly, knowing I wouldn’t be able to sleep that night.

Such anticipation! I waited until mid-morning to do my exploring and followed a trail that ended between two houses but also veered off behind a small three-story apartment complex. There was a rock outcropping with grafitti spray-painted on it so I wandered over. There was the firepit that was most likely used by teenagers on the weekend and some bums during the week, bottles strewn everywhere, of course.

As the sun was setting I crept behind the baseball field closest to the pathway and sat down by the pole on the third base line. I was a bit exposed but was certain that I couldn’t be seen unless someone were specifically looking for me. I waited. After ninety minutes or so a figure, staggering along, walked into the woods. Time for me to shine. I gave him fifteen minutes to take a leak and pass out.

Maybe it was because it had been so long but the night seemed to go silent. The air turned thick and seemed like a weight on my shoulders. No sounds at all but the crunch of pine needles underfoot. I reached the small clearing and saw my guy with his back to me. He wasn’t snoring and that was a bit surprising. I crept closer, step by step, took out my knife, raised it, rolled him over…

He had a knife in his hand and slashed at me! He opened up the side of my bicep just a little (hobos never take proper care of their knives-they’re always dull) as I almost missed entirely but managed to get under his shoulder blade. Panicking, not thinking, I grabbed at his blade as I buried mine just under the top of his jawbone. Fuck, it hurt! I was able to pin his arm to the ground with my knee. I ripped down with my knife and the floodgates opened up. He wasn’t going to hurt me anymore.

Now I was the one that staggered along the path. I was sure that the wound to my arm wasn’t that bad but the area below my thumb was opened up wide. Damn it! I was sweating profusely. There’s no way I could show up at a hospital, I would just have to do some rudimentary stitching myself and I’m not looking forward to the prospect but it has to be done.

The irony that I would have to hole up again for quite some time while the wound healed was not lost on me.

TO THE GAME!

Cowboys/Rams:

Dallas has so much frickin’ talent on O it’s ridiculous. The question then becomes, “How will they end up squandering it?”. Will their dissembled secondary give all those points right back? Don’t look for Amari to be gangbusters tonight, he’s being tailed by a friend to the site, Jalen Ramsey.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just saw the highlight; is Redshirt on suicide watch?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He saw it coming, so to speak.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Smooooooooke….
Underwater….
Fire in the rye

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

I watched that last night! It was hilariously bad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

That just raises further questions!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bear with me hear.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tomorrow the Donks will get the road apples kicked out of them by the Tits….. GREEEEERATE!

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Horatio Cornblower

I need 9 points out of Noah Fant, so go Donks!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t care one way tor other about the uniforms, but that LALOGO is fantastic.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Did they get rid of the rule about challenging PI calls? Not that the NFL ever changed them, but at least the coach got the cathartic release of throwing a flag at an official.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Jerry Sandusky’s favorite ride.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was thinking the French Tickler, but you go down the path of your choice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Stick a finger in it! It’s wet and squishy. Love Jerrah going down like that instead of the hooker.

Recovery Whiskey

Eagerly awaiting Mike McCarthy ruining another QB’s career.

Horatio Cornblower

Anytime you have the chance to hire a coach who not only squandered the prime of Aaron Rodgers’s career, while also getting Rodgers to completely hate him, (which, to be fair, doesn’t seem all that hard to do), you just have to do it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Remember when Mike McCarthy kicked a field goal on the one yard line in the NFC Championship Game and lost, and then went for a 4th-and-two in his Dallas debut when all he needed was a field goal to tie? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Horatio Cornblower

He’s such a fucking idiot. Can’t wait to see how the rest of the year goes.

Recovery Whiskey

Laughs at you in Zuerlein

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This joke is underrated.

clint greasewood

ESPN Power Ranking Tuesday: Cowboys #5

Recovery Whiskey

Seahawks #9

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Browns at #37.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, that was fine or something

Doktor Zymm

I’m concerned I’m not happier about the Dallas loss

Dunstan

It’s like the sun rising in the morning, you can’t get that happy over something that was expected.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You need to see a doctor….. wait.

Recovery Whiskey

The Rammits won. Good work Dal Ass

Spur

we should be going into OT.

WCS

MIKE MCCARTHY ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

Sharkbait

My mostly full vodka tonic agrees

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