Your Monday Night Football Doubleheader Open Thread

Hey, yesterday didn’t suck, ya know? Oh, maybe your team sucked but the day? Nah. And tonight we have a couple of young-ish qb’s whose careers really could go either way, facing off against some D’s that could cause some skittishness. How will they do? [shrugs shoulders] I don’t know but let’s have the old looky-loo, shall we?

Steelers/Giants:

Last year New York gave up the third-most turnovers in the league and the Steelers had the most sacks and takeaways. This doesn’t look good. I’ve been told that Watt, Heyward and Dupree are jonesing for Danny Dimes. Three new faces are featured on a rebuilt offensive line that was a rebuild last year that was a rebuild from the year previous. Yikes. Stunts, blitzes, bull rushes-Pitt is going to make this game as physical as possible, get up early and win going away. I see a doubling up along the lines of 36-18 or 40-20.

Titans/Broncos:

Drew Lock got five games under his belt and had 7 tds and 3 int’s which seems like typical ‘rookie under fire’ numbers. It looks as though Courtland Sutton is a ‘not-go’ tonight so rook Jerry Jeudy and second-year te Noah Fant might have to do some heavy lifting-a sign of things to come? [looks at wr backups] Tim Patrick? Diontae Spencer? DeaSean Hamilton? Wow, your depth chart might be as skinny as the Giants! The Von Miller-less D has to somehow stay away from third and short situations because the Titans (using you-know-who) were the best in the league there once Tannyfanny became the starter.

Enough of my barking-it’s you guys that make the site the delightful place that it is. Do that thing you do.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was worse than the ass kicking I was expecting.

King Hippo

yeah, I was mentally and emotionally ready for said ass kicking. NOT to be balls-punched in the feels…

Joliet Jake Delhomme

You know, I use AT&T TV over the internet. I am beginning to believe my feed is 10 seconds behind real TV. You all react faster that my TV does.

ballsofsteelandfury

It is. Yesterday I was watching a game on the local station via antenna and the action was almost a minute ahead of the streamed NFL Redzone Channel.

That’s game time, not real time.

Horatio Cornblower

Tomorrow’s Tennessean headline: “Gostkowski Wins Game, Retires”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

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Mr. Ayo

Worst Hail Mary ever.

Horatio Cornblower

Kind of a “Hey, Mary, You Up?” kinda vibe.

Doktor Zymm

Right? Not even a bunch of crazy scrambling and laterals!

Gumbygirl

Sister Mary Elephant should whack Lock with a metal ruler for that. Pitiful!

Horatio Cornblower

Go for the FG, what the hell.

Recovery Whiskey

The headline would have been Picked Lock

Doktor Zymm

REDEMPTION NARRATIVE

Senor Weaselo

Not quite a 60-yarder but the potential GW FG!

Horatio Cornblower

Just like they drew it up.

Recovery Whiskey

Holy crap

Don T

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Don T

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
/cough
aaaaa

Horatio Cornblower

Dammit, AJ, people here were relying on you!

WCS

I’m sorry, Moose.

Mr. Ayo

The medicine cabinet is being emptied.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They deserved it.

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, Vrabel is really gonna go for a FG here.

Don T

Gostkowski’s still on the sideline. Where the fuck is Jeff Gilooly?

Horatio Cornblower

Probably getting thrown out of a Chuck E. Cheese for acting “weird”.

WCS

/Don T finds his personal lube

Recovery Whiskey

Lock doesn’t look old enough to buy beer

Horatio Cornblower

THAT :33 DRIVE BY THE TITANS I CALL IT MY HONEYMOON, FOR REASONS THAT SHOULD BE AS OBVIOUS AS THEY ARE UNFORTUNATE!!

Horatio Cornblower

I will say one thing about Covid forcing me with work from home: I really don’t give a shit about getting up at any particular time. Makes these games that much better.

Don T

Hear hear

Joliet Jake Delhomme

I’m just waiting for the LFL to come back next year.
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Joliet Jake Delhomme

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Horatio Cornblower

Not until there’s a vaccine; if they have to wear masks uniform prices would double.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

They wear hockey helmets, so the face shield is built in. I continue to hold out hope. You can actually watch their past games on YouTube.

Horatio Cornblower

Drew Lock looks like that kid in your elementary school who ate paste through the 4th grade

Gumbygirl

And his boogers.

hippofant

Wtf just happened?

Horatio Cornblower

Gostkowski hits a 60-yarder for the win. Calling it now.

Doktor Zymm

If that happens I’m declaring the NFL as fake as the WWE

Dunstan

Please, JJD prefers “scripted.” And so do I. My girlfriends don’t have fake orgasms, they have scripted ones.

Mr. Ayo

Shit, this is still in play. I’m rooting for it now.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

I have decided this is my calling. Googling “Sexy _______ Fan” and posting the pictures. You are welcome.

WCS

CLEOPATRA

/oh wait,,,

Last edited 5 days ago by WCS
hippofant

Sexy Door Flies Open Fan?

Joliet Jake Delhomme

No results found

Joliet Jake Delhomme

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Horatio Cornblower

That is some…interesting…photoshopping

Joliet Jake Delhomme

I just post them, I don’t vet them.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

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Horatio Cornblower

Christ, that one looks like you may have solved a cold missing persons case.

Doktor Zymm

So THAT’S what a successful kick looks like! I almost forgot

Joliet Jake Delhomme

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Recovery Whiskey

I don’t think that jersey’s NFL authentic

Doktor Zymm

Although body paint jerseys would add an interesting new twist to NFL games

clint greasewood

Yes

Gumbygirl

Hail the gods of electricity! It’s been going on and off for the past hour or so, every time I blow out the candles. I made my fried rice by flashlight, and it came out great! I couldn’t tell how much chili garlic sauce or soy sauce I was putting in, so I just hoped for the best!

Doktor Zymm

Random seasoning, exciting!

Gumbygirl

It was! The Helen Keller method.

Horatio Cornblower

Why did Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other.

Thanks, I’ll be in hell all eternity.

Gumbygirl

I love a Helen Keller joke, not gonna lie. I am 10.

Horatio Cornblower

My son was about 10 when he told me that joke. I nearly died laughing.

Related, I am a terrible parent.

Mr. Ayo

This doesn’t make sense. She was deaf, not mute.

Gumbygirl

Here’s a better one. Helen Keller walked into a bar. And a table. And a couch. And a wall.

Mr. Ayo

Flavor is realized through the nose, not the eyes. Use a blindfold next time.

Recovery Whiskey

No crowds greatly reduces the chances of kicker being assaulted by angry fans after the game.

Doktor Zymm

I guess they could drive to the stadium, but it’s a long drive from Tennessee to Denver

Dunstan

So it’s true — Patriots players really do sell their souls, and other teams can only acquire their empty, useless husks.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wish I’d have known that.
—Bruce Arians

Don T

Gostkowski’s gotta be more cut than Caesar.

Don T

At least OT’s unlikely now. Guess I timed perfectly the last nicotine chew
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Doktor Zymm

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Don T

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Mr. Ayo

Nailed it!

— Blair Walsh

Recovery Whiskey

Kicking game still terrible

Mr. Ayo

I haven’t seen a worse terrible tit job since Tara Reid.

Doktor Zymm

Aren’t they supposed to call the play dead?

Recovery Whiskey

If they do that then the clock stops; and the game lasts longer.

Doktor Zymm

There hasn’t been a game with OT yet has there? How funny if it ends up being the extra, extra late game!

Horatio Cornblower

Especially if it goes in 7-7.

Don T

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clint greasewood

Shank’lor enjoys your sacrifice at his altar

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, Blair Walsh is going to get a try out for Tennessee this week, isn’t he?

Don T

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Col. Duke LaCross

Hail Shank’lor!

Mr. Ayo

Nailed it!

– B. Walsh

Horatio Cornblower

Jewell should just retire right now and show that hit on Henry for the rest of his life

Doktor Zymm

When your highlight reel is a single animated gif?

Unsurprised

The Joe Theisman Story

Doktor Zymm

Oooh, Ecru-e-mound bailed out by the flag

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