Your Tuesday Evening “Sometimes Everything Is Wrong” Open Thread

Beerguyrob
Latest posts by Beerguyrob (see all)

NFL Nuggets:

  • Hurt!:
    • Le’Veon Bell – on IR with a pulled hamstring.
    • Saints WR Michael Thomas – a high ankle injury.
      • may not miss any time, according to his doctor.
        Writer’s interpretation
    • Cowboys LB Leighton Vander Esch – out for 6-8 weeks with a fractured collarbone.
    • Cowboys TE Blake Jarwin – out for the year with a torn ACL.
  • Stats!
    • Kickers in the NFL combined to convert just 71.6 percent of field goal attempts in Week 1.
      • Not helping the average – Stephen Gostkowski’s 1-4 FGs & 1-2 on PATs.
        • Cody Parkey was the last kicker to miss four kicks in a win, and the Bears kept him for all of 2018. PRAISE SHANK’LOR!
    • Holding calls were down 78% from Week 1 last year.
      • Only 18 flags for offensive holding were called in Week 1 2020.
        • With 199 total flags thrown across the league.
      • It’s considered both a compensation for the lack of training camp and part of the league’s effort to work on training teams how to cut down on such penalties.
  • Upset!
    • Allen Robinson, who feels disrespected in contract extension talks with Bears.
      • Because it’s the 21st Century, and this is how things work now, he’s wiped his social media of all references to the Bears, including photos of himself in uniform and the team name.
      • Working in his favour? His career statistics are close to those of Keenan Allen, who recently signed a four-year extension with the Chargers averaging more than $20 million per season.
      • Working against him? His previously torn ACL, which got him out of Jacksonville but puts his value into question.

Musical interlude!

Because there are always recriminations after Week One of fantasy. Also, I have nothing.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Tampa Bay Lightning vs. New York Islanders – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC / Sportsnet
      • Game five – Bolts lead 3-1
  • NBA:
    • Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics – 6:30PM | ESPN
      • Conference Finals – Game 1
    • Los Angeles Clippers vs. Denver Nuggets – 9:10PM | ESPN / Sportsnet360
      • Divisional Round – GAME SEVEN, BAY-BAY!
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Yankees – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Braves at Orioles – 7:30PM | TSN3
    • Athletics at Rockies – 8:30PM | FS1
  • WNBA Playoff:
    • Connecticut Sun vs. Chicago Sky – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
    • Washington Mystics vs. Phoenix Mercury – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN

It’s been a busy couple of days at school, what with student counselling & intake. Why, it’s almost like there won’t be a COVID spike around Canadian Thanksgiving!

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Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

Most bitchin’ thingS happened today. During s bidness call this PM, I saw a hen and her chicks ATTACK a stray cat that was stalking them. Boids won.
During the same call, the neighbor who until today was a sworn enemy gifted me two breadfruits from his tree. Sufficed to say, the chicks and neighbors pointed me in the right direction.
And OF COURSE, ah peeled and fried and smash and fried again teh breadfruit to eat with steak
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Don T

That’s 2 portions, as far as ya know

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

Good for Allen Robinson. I like that. Truf Biskit won’t get him anything.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

It sure feels like the NBA is trying to set up a Lakers Celtics series.

SonOfSpam

Well it sure as fuck ain’t gonna be the Clippers.

“We’re the LA team now” LOLOLOL sad little cousins

SonOfSpam

That’s 50 straight seasons without a conference final appearance for the Clippers.

Truly a Browns-esque performance.

SonOfSpam

The Clips are supposed to get a new arena in Inglewood.

I’m thinking Saugus or perhaps Fontana.

SonOfSpam

Clippers blew a 3-1 lead to DENVER.

Fucking DENVER.

Clippers are and have always been ass.

SonOfSpam

Maybe Michael Olowokandi has a son old enough for the Clippers to draft.

SonOfSpam

Best Clipper ever? Chris Kaman. Change my mind.

Unsurprised

DiMaggio?

Unsurprised

Sweeney Todd?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Game Cock

You rookie

SonOfSpam

Anyway, the Clippers suck and are out and suck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Was looking for something similar to The Expanse to check out and was suggested Legion, which is very much not like The Expanse but appropriately weird for mindless watching.

Dunstan

Legion is one of those series that I saw a few episodes of, and liked just enough to think “I should keep watching,” but not enough to actually do it. Thanks for the reminder.

I have, however, been enjoying Lovecraft Country and The Boys recently.

Gratliff

I didn’t realize it was an adaptation of the X-Men character because there’s approximately 80 Marvel adaptations running simultaneously and it’s impossible to keep track of them all. Evil Aubrey Plaza’s been a lot of fun, though.

SonOfSpam

I enjoyed Legion, but like a lot of shows it went off the rails toward the end.

You’re right about Aubrey Plaza. She can do whatever she wants.

scotchnaut

I CALL THESE ISLANDERS ‘MY CHRISTIAN HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND’ BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!

Senor Weaselo

“Hey, I told you the problem.” -Billy Joel

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least your fingers are smelling great.

blaxabbath

I didn’t even realize I was put back in my FF league from last year. Saw a junk folder email today that my auto-drafted roster is 1-0.

I also had a junk folder email that my draft was a C- grade.

Dunstan

Are any of you fans of Crusader Kings? I’m a Civ guy who tried CK2 but found it kind of bewildering. Is CK 3 sufficiently different that I should give it a shot?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How in the ever living fuck is it only Tuesday?

Sharkbait

No idea, but I don’t like it

scotchnaut

“Look, Wednesday Addams had a thing and she couldn’t show. I thought you’d be happy with Ms. Weld. Huh? Yeah? I’ve booked Jeff Saturday for, you know. You like that, right? Yeah, I know you like that.”

-BFC’s pimp

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Classic Bears, win a game you shouldn’t win and piss off the only WR worth a damn on the roster

Senor Weaselo

Dirt Giants get to 20! Granted, the 20th run came on a position player pitching, but hey, the first 19 were legit.

rockingdog

found a rockingdog
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scotchnaut

“Come at me boy.”

-The Thin White Duck

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Definitely going in Balls’s thoughts

rockingdog

bleh shot by tatum there

WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

yea heat gonna win this
huge 3 by jimmy butler

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

-Climate

scotchnaut

“‘Huge 3?, huh’. Let’s compare.”

-B. Favre

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Round up…. (not the weed killer).

rockingdog

LOL
celtics have kind of let heat back into this game

herodotus450

Not watching the game but:
These Heat I call them the Romans because the Celts are just GIVING it away to them!

rockingdog

found a good:

https://www.airnow.gov/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fuck.

Good site though.

scotchnaut

found a bad:

SonOfSpam

You think that’s bad?

scotchnaut

“Yes, but not this bad.” A. Reid

Redshirt

scotchnaut

I see that your hearing aid hasn’t arrived yet…

SonOfSpam

You can get hearing aids from earfucking a deaf twink.

scotchnaut

Pics or it didn’t happen.

Redshirt

PornHub results were inconclusive, primarily on the former.

Sharkbait

This is quickly turning into a request line:

scotchnaut

Apparently. And yeah, this is the only Motorhead song that I can bear to listen to.

SonOfSpam

148; unhealthy for sensitive groups, BUT WE CAN PLAY FITBAW!

Luckily I’m not a sensitive group.

Redshirt

I don’t trust anything the government says.

Son of a bitch, I’ve become my grandfather.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are some places where censorship has not invaded.

Redshirt

Is there a waiting list to this magical land?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Where the administration is to stupid or too lazy; they are not manipulating raw data that NASA, EPA, NOAA, etc. get/ analyze, they are saying “you can’t use global warming” , or any one of a number of of terms in any of your statements. The main thing the republicans do against science is cut funding.

scotchnaut

I remember a time when all kinds of science ran willy-nilly in the streets. Everything was allowed. It wasn’t pretty.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I understand how much you want a better sex robot, but that is no reason to get hostile.

scotchnaut

[crosses Moose off ‘Time Machine Invitation List’]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Unsurprised

Balls.

Viva La Tabula Raza

While he picks up his SS check, right? “Keep your gubmint hands off mah Medicare!”

Redshirt

Just a little better pronounced with about three “goddamn”s in there and that’s spot on.

scotchnaut

[picks up his SS check, is disappointed]

-German Soldier, late in the year 1945

herodotus450

Did anyone else have that weird dream this summer that basedball was being played and people cared about it?

litre_cola

I have watched more Korean baseball this year than MLB.

SonOfSpam

Hyun-Jin Riu is a gateway Korean.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I will always have a special place in my heart for “Rocky Balboa”. It is easily one of the best apology films I’ve seen. It makes up Rocky V, Stallone bring his acting shoes instead of mailing it in, an its even a decent film in its own right. Its like a direct sequel to Rocky I and II.

scotchnaut

I’ll will always have a special place in my heart for Angina Jolie.

Last edited 5 days ago by scotchnaut
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

I don’t care about your stupid mattress store-I’m buying abnormal dogs at every opportunity!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

best apology films

I was unaware of this genre, but after searching for it on Pornhub there is a lot of….. films initiating sex for some discretion as an apology, usually involving a “stepsister” or “stepmother,” so it’s legit.

scotchnaut

So if you liked watching cooking videos/were aware of the whole Bon Appetit thingy that went down, you might want to left swipe past my “Sohla The Explorer Does A Cooking Vid” joke.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Swiping left means I want to fuck it, right?

Sharkbait

Those were good videos too. Sucks BA is apparently toxic as hell to work for

litre_cola

No fucking kidding, not to mention his stupid hat. – J. Winston.

herodotus450

Fun game to play for all the sprotsfans at home: everytime you see or hear a “sports” pundit talk about hockey and the only thing they mention is tv markets and ratings, shoot yourself in the head. Then you don’t have to listen to bullshit for the rest of the day!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s more gunfire than AR-15 Day at the school.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t like weekdays.
—Bob Geldof

rockingdog

kemba walker got 2 start hitting those 3’s

Redshirt

/ old Christopher Titus joke that is now relevant (punchline is crude and dirty, if unacceptable here, please remove)

“98% of scientists believe in Climate Change. 2% of scientists don’t. That’s means its inconclusive!”
“Alright, well based on that logic, if I’m 98% inside your girlfriend, is she cheating on you or is it inconclusive?”

Last edited 5 days ago by Redshirt
rockingdog

Only way to Live Mas is with the Mountain Dew Margarita
LOL Oh yea
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Viva La Tabula Raza

Recipe? Or do I have to wait for a yeah right feature?

BugEyedBoo

I saw it on Queer Eye (my daughter made me watch it, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it), and what the makeover target made was Mountain Dew and tequila.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That seems too easy. Will experiment.

Redshirt

It wouldn’t be the first thing written here drunk and/or hungover.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, first you’ll need to place a large puke bucket nearby. Anyone who would enjoy this would probably be good with “recycling” the contents of said bucket.

yeah right

There are damn few ingredients you won’t see applied during Sunday Gravy. Sriracha, avocado and Mountain Dew headline that list.
Jesus, that picture gave me the DTs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Whether you like/ don’t like avocado, I would expect it to be a fresh side as opposed to an ingredient, I like guacamole, but like just avocado with hot sauce on it just as much.

yeah right

It’s the same with sriracha. Hell I’ve got a bottle in my fridge right now I just find it a lazy ingredient to cook with. You can do better people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, I’m fucking lazy and love avocado, not “doing better” because I fucking like it.

Unsurprised

I’m vomiting forever now

scotchnaut

“I’m not kidding, that is an excellent weight-loss strategy you should look into.”

-K. Carpenter

litre_cola

-Carpenter high fives TwBs

SonOfSpam

Red Lobster is gonna start serving them.

Mountain Dew, tequila, and “a few other special ingredients” like shrimp jizz probably

herodotus450

Leighton Vander Esch and Blake Jarwin are not, luckily enough, too injured to star in their next episode of Gossip Girl

scotchnaut

I absolutely hate it when ex-Disney kids don’t end up in porn!