Your “Brother, Can You Spare a Hamstring?” Sunday Early Slate NFL Football Open Thread

We saw all these ‘soft tissue’ injuries coming, didn’t we? The rush to play combined with the lack of proper preparation led us here. Thing is, are there more injuries than a usual-season first week? I don’t have that answer but if someone comes up with it and the answer is ‘less’, The Shield shall crow it from the mountaintops.

TO THE GAMES!

Bills/Fins:

Buffalo’s Edmunds and Milano-two starting lbs, are out of commission and another backup is as well. Some guys from the practice squad have been engaged but look for heavy safety looks today. Miami’s secondary is looking good but the D as a whole only got 4 pressuses on Cam last week. That means good things for Allen if he can limit his tendency towards bone-headed turnovers.

Niners/Jets:

San Franny is all kinds of banged up but will it matter? Because you see, Adam Gase got his dream backfield of Gore/Ballage once again. Does the guy have Hypotoad capabilities? I’ve looked at all other options and this is the conclusion I’ve come to.

Broncs/Steelers:

Rb Conner is ready and raring to go after much teeth-gnashing by the fandom earlier in the week. Expect this cycle to repeat itself often this year. No worries though, Snell Jr filled in with a healthy 5.9 ypa and 2.89 yards after contact. That said, the Denver run D is a whole nother kettle of ponies.

Vikes/Colts:

You know what they say, “You can take the serial baby-maker out of LA but you can’t make him pass to his wr’s”. Of his 36 noodly appendage passes, 50% were to his rbs.

Jags/Titans:

Tennessee should roll as long as they can find Laviska Shenault. The ‘supposed’ wr played out wide, in the slot, at te, at rb and even had one down at qb. That’s interesting stuff.

Falcons/Cowboys:

Atlanta refused to address their lousy secondary during the offseason and paid the price yet again last week. They allowed the 8th most fantasy points to receivers but I think they can do even better vs. Cooper, Gallup and Lamb-maybe 2nd or 3rd most?

Rams/Eagles:

Philly’s glad to get Sanders back at back because Boston Scott got all of 35 yards on the ground last week. Fantasy deep-sleeper! Pshaw, I say.

Giants/Bears:

Call me a dumb Giants fan but I think Saquon flashes here. Y’all thinking, ‘but Bears D’ and I hear ya but they gave up almost 100 yards to AP and Swift would have had 4 catches and a TD if not for that egregious drop in the end zone last week. Bears sorta escaped that game.

Lions/Packers:

Rodgers had a 96 PFF grade last week, his highest in more than a decade. Did a trainer say something nice about his mom or something?

Panthers/Bucs:

This is Brady’s ‘get right’ game, right? But Godwin is out and Carolina looked functional last week. Don’t take the 9.5 spread but you may want to play Scotty Miller-he’s smallish but grabbed all 5 of his targets for 73 yards last week.

Go get ’em.

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Fronkenshteen

Josh Malone! The Great White Hope – Who Is Black.

Fronkenshteen

Dallas rapidly becoming Pie-O-My. And Ralphie is coming with the gas can.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered

Probably gets great gas mileage.

JustStopDude

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>NFL Week 2 Injury Report<br><br>-Dead: Basically Everyone<br>-Dead Inside: Cowboys Fans<br>-On Life Support: The NFC East<br>-Barely Breathing: Your Fantasy Team<br>-Somehow Still Alive: Tom Brady<br>-Fully Healthy: Your Fantasy Opponent</p>&mdash; NOTSportsCenter (@NOTSportsCenter) <a href=”https://twitter.com/NOTSportsCenter/status/1307748478030938114?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>September 20, 2020</a></blockquote> https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Gatoraids

The football gods required the player sacrifices today to get Buck in the Hall of Fame before Hansen. Much chortling

JustStopDude

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Mother Puncher

*Chris Berman cums*

herodotus450

“Carrie on johnson” also the reason I left my 6th wife heyoo

Gratliff

FUCK

King Hippo

coo-coo-ka-choo Jimmy Robinson…

ArmedandHammered

Canton holds a place for you….woo woo wooo

TheRevanchist

I wish the sound they add for the crowd was more realistic. The lack of “boo”s from the Jets home game just seems so fake.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

80s laugh track would work here.

Fronkenshteen

Pish

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Nods in agreement.

Last edited 3 years ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Fronkenshteen

More like NO-Alie Cox, AMIRITE?

King Hippo

u rite!

King Hippo

FYTB!!!!

Mother Puncher

Never nice to root for injuries. Unless the last name is Bosa

bk109

Shit, now we even get a ded Hooker….

Mother Puncher

No worries Jim Irsay knows how to handle it.

Gratliff

Might get more McVay face today

Fronkenshteen

Wuzzat Rice 3rd down run vs SD 3 & 29?

Spur

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bk109

Fuck, why didn’t anyone tell me that the NFL is doing a tribute to the Battle Of The Somme with all these casualties?!

King Hippo

Jersey’s teams are behind a combined 38-3.

King Hippo

*41-3 at the half

King Hippo

but now they used up!

Spur

and Mostert is out.

Gumbygirl

Maybe he’s just gassed.

King Hippo

oh, that’s GOOD

King Hippo

MAXIMUM JEST

JustStopDude

Holy shit…I just got a phone call from a 669 area code, telling me to get get into my pads.

King Hippo

almost NICE

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“9.9”

-Russian judge

Gratliff

Would like to apologize for insinuating that the Cowboys could defend against Matt Ryan

King Hippo

Fare Thee Well, Janeane

Spur

Jimmy G died?

rockingdog

yea
Nick Mullins gotta make it go

Gratliff

The Cum Town guy?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

coma might be imminent, better set my Week 3 lineups

Spur

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Mother Puncher

It’s good to have friends

litre_cola

Is Julio Jones at the rippers for some of them NBA wings????

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Checking in on the Vikes game at the half…Ah, yes.Of course.

2020-09-20 14_31_04-GameChannel_ Live Scores & Updates - Yahoo Sports - Waterfox Current.png
King Hippo

Capppppptaaaaainnnnnn Dingleberry! AHOY!!!

King Hippo

I have a colUmn to write, or my fat ass would be playing Footy Manager

rockingdog

come on Melvin gordon III
run da ball to get the pts

JustStopDude

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Jonathan Taylor Thomas is killing me

clint greasewood

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

KITTY!!!!!

Mother Puncher

Lions thought they could go 90 yards in 90 seconds, almost gave up a safety and just gifted Rodgers a short field for a touchdown

JustStopDude

How the fuck are the cowboys this bad?

King Hippo

BlueBunny, Cap’n

Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BINGO!!!

ArmedandHammered

Karma

Gratliff

All that nonsense and Eagles only down 5 at the half.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

Joe Haden!

Mother Puncher

Matt Patricia putting on a masterclass on how to lose to Aaron Rodgers

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Not just Aaron Rodgers!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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clint greasewood

Fantasy Stud Ryan Tannenhill

Gatoraids

Are they allowing open carry on the field in tennessee

Gratliff

Cupp derp!

Gratliff

Kupp! Whatever

JustStopDude

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King Hippo

Donks try 58-yarder at Heinz Field. We’re just a little desperate, it’s still good! It’s still good!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wow we got an actual “Graham Gano…Ga-no good” out of the announcers

Gatoraids

Gnu news

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Doktor Zymm

Congrats to anyone who started Jordan Reed, TD 2 on the books

Mother Puncher

Anyone allowing Jordan Reed to still play football should be tried at the Hague

Spur

To be fair Jordan Reed has no idea he’s playing football right now

Mother Puncher

Has any team ever fallen for Aaron Rodgers 4th down hard count?

hippofant

Bengals, probably.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Falcons almost at super bowl levels of halftime lead

King Hippo

Falcons go for two, just because they can?

Doktor Zymm

Always good to get in some extra goalline practice?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Joe Judge Ito