Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread

It’s not often you get a whole boxcar to yourself but the thing is you can’t very much enjoy it. The rocking motion puts you to sleep, over and over again. I was headed west on the Pennsylvania ’cause I heard there was a get-together around New Goshen, Indiana-never heard of it before but what else was there to do? You never know with these meetups. Sometimes 5 folks showed, sometimes 20, sometimes 50. The big ones a real hoot, plenty of drinking and swapping of stories both real and tall. Where was I? Ah, the sleeping. I don’t dream much anymore but I dreamt of Johnny last night. I knew because I woke in a sweat that was both cold and warm. That hadn’t happened in a while. Hope it doesn’t happen again soon.

I met him in boot camp-I’d gotten kicked out of the house, there was a war on that the U.S. had recently joined and I figured I’d do my part. He was there on the bus headed to the base. You couldn’t miss him. Bright red hair, pale skin like it was a thin cotton bedsheet. He was getting a ribbing from some guys and wasn’t getting upset about it, kept his cool. I noticed that about him. After we got our brushcuts the jokes died down a little but not with our drill instructor-he lit into Johnny something fierce but Johnny would just take it, I mean what could he do, jaw back at him? I figured our instructor needed a whipping boy and Johnny could take it so that’s how it went.

The first time we were all allowed off the base Johnny wore this bright red bandana or maybe it was a neckerchief?, around his neck. I couldn’t believe it. He was inviting all kinds of shit-talking but it occurred to me that this kid, a kid just like me, was his own man. From that day forward we buddied up. Most times when guys rode him he smiled and looked down like he had some sort of secret he was gonna keep to himself. Things got rough a few times and we got into some scraps but nothing serious.

We made it through boot camp easy and were sent to England in mid-May of ’44. Things were coming to a head, there were so many rumors flying round but I knew we would be seeing some action. Sure enough, we found ourselves on a transport ship headed to ‘Utah Beach’. I thought it was kinda funny that them Frenchman had a beach with the same name of one of our states. Johnny was sitting across from me and we were both nervous as hell but we kept looking at each other and it was unspoken, ‘I’ve got your back and you got mine’. Just before we were about to jump out he yelled at me to get my attention and I saw that he had his ‘lucky’ red bandana tucked in his chest pocket. Big grin on his face. I laughed.

We made sure we were no more than 3 yards from each other as we made our way forward. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny fall backward, his face in the sand. I rolled him over and he was done for. It looked like the bullet he took hit his shoulder and went into his neck. His eyes were glazed over, his mouth was moving and nothing was coming out. Then his eyes rolled back into his head and time seemed to hang in the air for a bit. I couldn’t see anything around me, there was no gunfire, no explosions. But then a bullet grazed my arm, stinging me back to now. I grabbed his lucky bandana out of his pocket and moved forward with the rest of the unit.

I couldn’t tell you what happened the next few days-I remember anger, fear, desperation, dread and other stuff all jumbled together as one. It was night near a fire later on when I was eating my rations that I ‘came to’. I dropped my food and wandered a little bit, finding a shed that I collapsed into and I began sobbing. I cried for a long time, so long that I pissed myself, not that it mattered one bit.

I kept hold of his bandana in the belief that the luck would work for me if it didn’t for him. It’s usually folded away among my things but when we have these get-togethers I tuck one corner of it in my front pocket and let it hang down. You see, you’ve got to stand out in some way so that you can be identified by your brothers. At one of my first ones a guy asked me what my nickname was. “Nickname? I never thought about it”. This old fella said, “Look over there, that’s Doulbledown Pete, over there’s Triple Trouble and that guy’s Frank Fancy. You gotta have a name.” I looked down at the bandana trailing out of my pocket, “I guess my name’s Johnny, Dead Johnny, is what it is.” The old man looked at me, turning the name over in his mind, “Dead Johnny… Dead Johnny… damn, that’s a good one, folks’ll remember that one for sure!”

And that’s how I got my name, and I gotta admit it’s catching on. What is it, ’48? Maybe 1949? I’ve been at this now for a few years anyway and the name is starting to get around…

/to be continued

TO THE GAME!

Pats/Seahawks:

Cam Newton’s star turn last week caused many to overlook the fact that the entire receiving corps went 10 for 96 yards. That’s 2019 Michael Thomas numbers! Needless to say, this isn’t the most opportune time to get the passing game going. So look for more of Pats wr’s not being able to get separation and Cam trying to make the best of it.

Enjoy.

 

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THE END

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Brick Meathook

I used to work around the corner from here. There used to be a food truck that had the best gyros ever.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

I turned it to Mighty Mike. The best cartoon I’ve seen in years!

Doktor Zymm

Ok, local affiliate has gone through all the SC injuries. On that cheery note I’m gonna go read some idealized fiction about living in a little flat in Edinburgh

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Recovery Whiskey

On one of the postgames Moore is rockin an AC/DC T shirt and flannel over it.

LARP 80s Seattle pretty good

Last edited 1 month ago by Recovery Whiskey
Doktor Zymm

I’ve had a high ankle sprain, tripped over a cat while drunk. I could go down stairs at a moderate pace without holding the handrail after 3 weeks, but wasn’t fully healed until months later

Recovery Whiskey

But was the cat OK

Doktor Zymm

Sat on the bed where she knew she wasn’t allowed to be and just looked at me writhing on the floor in pain because I didn’t step on her

Recovery Whiskey

Nothing can come between the bond of a pet and their person

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Now switching to Pluto TV. Rifftrax. McBain. My secret obsession. Don’t judge.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Rifftrax is the next permutation of MST3K. They are on contiguous channels on Pluto TV. I can spend hours watching either or both.

Sharkbait

Team Mike

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Rifftrax is Mike. Pluto is free on Roku. I now realize I should be asking for money from Roku.

Brick Meathook

Team Joel as host, Mike as head writer and occasional cameo (as Steve Reeves was the greatest).

Recovery Whiskey

John Clayton is getting into Cryptkeeper territory on the local postgame.

One of three local postgame shows

Beerguyrob

I think we’re all missing the lede – for a week, the Bills are in first place. It’s table-breaking time!

Sharkbait

No! Only teams that cover are allowed nice things

Doktor Zymm

When things stop being all pandemicy, DFO MEETUP AT A BILLS GAME

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In Toronto, maybe

Recovery Whiskey

Buy more folding tables

Sharkbait

And Zubaz

Fronkenshteen

Geico is wrong. Aunts are cool. They smoke.

Fronkenshteen

Ok! So all I need is a 62 point performance out of Latavius Murray tomorrow night and I’m laughing!

Beerguyrob

Only 62?

Fronkenshteen

Is that you kicking my ass?

Beerguyrob

Nope.

Gumbygirl

Soon it will be “What the Fuck is Cam Wearing?” time!

Doktor Zymm

Charmslinger saying the right things, but losing his battle with filler words

Doktor Zymm

“We knew Cam was getting the ball, obviously” LOL

BrettFavresColonoscopy

MAYBE IF BELICHICK WASN’T BUSY MAKING SUBWAY COMMERCIALS HE COULD FOCUS ON COACHING

lolololololol

Beerguyrob

WE ALL KNEW THAT DAHKIE COULDN’T HOLD TAWMMY’s FACKIN JAWK!

Recovery Whiskey

Leave the footlongs to Jared

Fronkenshteen

I wonder if that guy is ripped and covered in white supremacist tattoos now?

Doktor Zymm

Unlikely, in most countries he would be dead

Brocky

so my opponent started russel wilson, i got zero points from will fuller today……

and I’m still gonna win my matchup by 30 points. man this game is weird

WCS

No touchdown.
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Doktor Zymm

Do the Patriots actually know any goal line plays that don’t involve a QB carry? I’m legit curious now.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They’re confused now that Vrabel isn’t there to be a receiver

Sharkbait

What an awful playcall

Fronkenshteen

Hooray! I win $5.50! I’m rich! I’m a wealthy miser!

Recovery Whiskey

Fuck everything we won

The Maestro

FACKIN FACKS

Brocky

iron sheik agrees

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Recovery Whiskey

And cheers erupt all over Seattle

Senor Weaselo

Is it loud there? Did you know it’s loud there?

Beerguyrob

It’s like finding out Jimmy Graham played basketball – yes, BASKETBALL – in college.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why don’t they call a slant route?

Col. Duke LaCross

Belichick still loyal to Parcells?

Mr. Ayo

FUCK AND YES!

Brocky

I’ve never noticed how hard butler trucked the receiver in the superbowl interception

clint greasewood

He going to run that Super Bowl play the Seattle failed on.

Doktor Zymm

What? Where’s Marshawn!?

Fronkenshteen

God DAMMIT!!!!!

Joliet Jake Delhomme

What the everloving fuck?

Doktor Zymm

SUSPENCE

TheRevanchist

Oh, man! I just threw my phone and jump out of the bed.

Recovery Whiskey

Fucking hell

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Should have had some prophylactic whiskey

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m following along on gamecast, why did Seattle take a timeout?

Sharkbait

Because reasons?

Doktor Zymm

They’re actually complaining about the decibel diff between fake noise and real and thank y’all for the heads up that my horribly lagging stream is about to be flagged!

Brocky

Belichik and the refs are just flexing on dreamboat now

Recovery Whiskey

Looks like Edelman still gets the calls

Mr. Ayo

BLEE’RGH!!!

Recovery Whiskey

Oh my god

clint greasewood

Let Cam bake?

Fronkenshteen

[does Paulie Walnuts “heh-heh”]

Recovery Whiskey

Don’t get cunty

Joliet Jake Delhomme

I will expand on this on Wednesday, but you are all the coolest people I know. We all talk like we are 12 year old boys (or girls GumbyGirl). But you are so supportive of everyone. Always know when to poke and when to praise.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We’re not supportive of EVERYONE

/shoves Horatio back into his locker

Fronkenshteen

I’ve always been in awe of the way these guys give competent career/interview/salary advice at the drop of a shoe.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

I tried to put on my shoe to go to dinner. One of my kittens dropped a plastic mouse into my shoe. No one has confessed, so both must be punished.

Fronkenshteen

Tough, but fair.

Gumbygirl

You are a sweet guy, we all like you! Pssst: Doktor Zymm is a girl too!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Petronel, too, right?

Doktor Zymm

Yup! We’re almost a third of the way to double digits!

Joliet Jake Delhomme

We are all common friends. The only reason I mentioned it is I don’t want someone to be upset because I said dudes.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, I say dudes. Dudettes is just cumbersome and kinda sounds like a potato based fast-food snack treat

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Thanks.

Fronkenshteen

If this is gonna happen, can it please be Newton to Harry? Thanks

Doktor Zymm

Super annoyed that there’s no legit way this goes to OT

Recovery Whiskey

Don’t work tomorrow?

Doktor Zymm

I got a lot of last minute requests for useless crap on Friday afternoon. I have people to scold tomorrow.

Recovery Whiskey

Being hung over sounds like great prep for that!

Doktor Zymm

It’s a surprisingly good way to not be a pillowcase

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cam Newton, dragging me back into my fantasy matchup

Recovery Whiskey

Belichick pwns Carroll

Recovery Whiskey

Well we just handed them a chance

Recovery Whiskey

What the shit was that call

Mr. Ayo

Dumb. Let them save a timeout too.

Redshirt

“Let Russ Cook” is gonna be 2020’s “Oh, for the love of God, SHUT UP!” NFL phrase.

Mr. Ayo

And he missed that throw too.

Doktor Zymm

Too bad Breaking Bad is done and they can’t do a crossover