Less than Elite and Wednesday Open Thread

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Latest posts by Joliet Jake Delhomme (see all)

Gale Sayers, RIP

The Kansas Comet

I heard a commentator today say Gale Sayers was the Sandy Koufax of the NFL. Gale played 7 seasons. For 5 of those seasons, he was the best offensive player in the history of the league. He and Brian Piccolo were the first interracial roommates in the NFL. “Brian’s Song” can still make the room very dusty while watching it.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming

Your responses to my daughter’s birthday broke my heart wide open. Thank you.

We spent the whole day Sunday annoying her with stories of her birth. We had two names picked out for her. Just after she was born, I asked the doctor if the Cubs won that day. He said they lost to the Pirates. So my daughter’s name is not Addison because of that. Losing to the Pirates means you don’t deserve to have my daughter named after you.

When my daughter was born, there were rules that babies can’t leave their grocery cart outside of a hospital room because of stranger danger. There was no room on the maternity floor for us because my wife was in the ICU. I had to hang with my daughter on the couch in the visitors room at the end of the floor. I have a fantastic photograph I took in the visitors room where she looked very pensive and intelligent. Unlike the beautiful, crabby and intelligent teenager she is today.

I know we are all assholes, but I also know that the bond between assholes is stronger than steel. That sounds weirder than it did in my head. Like “Requiem for a Dream” final scene weird. We all suck, but we all suck together.

Thank you my invisible internet friends.

Wrestling Glossary: Luchador

I have been remiss in the definition of this word. Mexico has a very long tradition of professional wrestling. It is known as Lucha Libre, which means “Freestyle Wrestling”. Luchador is the name used by Lucha Libre wrestlers. Female Luchas are referred to as Luchadoras. Long before WWE started putting wrestlers in movies, Mexico had a tradition all the way back to the 50’s with masked wrestlers starring in movies. Famously, “Samson vs the Vampire Women” was featured in an MST3K episode. Two strong themes of Lucha Libre. High flying and masked wrestlers. Every time I went to Tijuana when I lived in Southern California, my wife had to talk me out of buying a Lucha mask. I should have never listened to her. Many of the greatest matches have been mask vs mask, much like hair vs hair matches here in the US. The two most prominent promotions in Mexico today are CMLL and AAA. For the AEW angle, Kenny Omega is currently the AAA Mega Champion.

Will Hobbs for the win! I am very excited to see someone from Dark getting called up to the main show. My guess is Hobbs gets the pin for the push.

Jon! Cheer the fuck up!

You are married to Renee Young. Learn to smile!

 

Seriously dude. She is smoking hot and you are sleeping with a water bottle in your lap. Man up!

I will keep posting these until I see him smile.

I have been waiting for AEW to start bringing wrestlers from Dark into the main events. Will Hobbs getting the spotlight in the PPV match shows good progression.

Huh? Is there any background between these two?

I think I have more  wrestling history with Brodie Lee than Orange Cassidy. He would also break my ass and send my wife a check from my life insurance. Murder me on TV and send my wife a check for $700k. For the win.

I

I like how they played this out with Shida and Thunder Rosa last week. Shida came in and rescued Rosa from a beatdown and picked up the NWA title with respect and handed it to Rosa. Also solves the title vs title issue. Set up respect between them and make both titles more important. I wish they would give up and create a women’s tag team division. A win by Ivelisse and Diamante could set up weeks of matches for both titles.

Also, following the fantastic match she had with Thunder Rosa, AEW has officially signed Serena Deeb to a contract. As a wrestler, trainer and producer, a great addition to the company. She got a second match on Dark this week and was fantastic. She was one of the Performance Center trainers cut loose from WWE back in April.

My biggest concern is that she tops up her spray tan at the White House

 

It takes an exceptionally brave female wrestler to sign up to lose a hair-vs-hair match

 

What kind of jacket do you think he will wear?

Not to belabor the point, but there is lots of eyeliner in these posters.

Tonight’s Sprots:

  • Dodgeball Thunderdome!!!!: 8:00 pm, Discovery Channel
    • You know, one of these weeks, there will be a cornhole tournament on this list
  • MLS
    • Sporting KC vs Orlando City SC: 6:30 pm, FS1
  • MLB
    • St Louis BFIB vs KC Royals: 7:00 pm, ESPN
Best Fans in Baseball my ass!
  • NHL
    • Lightning vs Stars: 7:00 pm, NBCSN
  • NBA
    • Celtics vs Heat: 7:40 pm, ESPN

Let the beatings commence!

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Joliet Jake Delhomme
My wife has been told to bring my ashes to the bleachers of Wrigley Field and pour me into the ivy. The "Dying Cub Fan's Last Request". Cubs, Bears, LA Kings, Arsenal and GWS Giants fan. Active boycotter of all college sports, having sat in a classroom with a "Student-Athlete". I also watch NASCAR and golf on the weekends, because I like naps.
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Unsurprised
Beerguyrob

At least we still have Crystal Gayle.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Unsurprised

This reminds me. I need to get new pillows.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m sure My Pillow Guy will be happy to help.

Unsurprised

Only if those are filled with crack

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I hate to break it to you, but espn has indeed been airing cornhole. Add that to the list of horrible things president trump has inflicted on our country.

Last edited 1 month ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

THE.WHOLE.FUCKING.BAR!!!

Unsurprised

It’s important to air cornhole, especially after the morning fallout from Taco Tuesday makes everything tender.

Last edited 1 month ago by Unsurprised
Viva La Tabula Raza

When I was in the fleet, “Cornhole” was a game that involved neither plywood targets nor beanbags.

Unsurprised

We know.

To quote George Carlin, “As they say in the U.S. Navy, there is no wrong hole.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

“It’s not gay if you’re underway.”

“Sailors have more fun!
*with each other*”

Brick Meathook

I thought Gayle Sayers died fifty years ago.

Viva La Tabula Raza

No, that was Sonny Corleone.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m a subscriber, so I don’t know if this is behind a firewall; if so, my apologies.
“Machete don’t text.”
https://www.texasmonthly.com/the-culture/how-danny-trejo-built-decades-long-film-career-after-prison/

Unsurprised

I have a great hour-long speech he gave to an AA meeting a few years back. He is so passionate and committed to improving the world around him. And I’ve come across that energy in so many others who never got the shot he did or just never found the focus he has. His life could’ve gone a whole different way so easily, as it usually does for so many people because life is fickle. Some the chance and won. Some lost. Some blew it off. And a hell of a lot of people miss it, or never even get close to a chance. I was thinking about it this morning with a claimant how some people just live lives where shit never stops raining down on them. There are others who are perfectly capable of fucking up everything around them on their own.

I also met with some people online, and it never ceases to amaze me how powerless these people can feel even when they have resources, access, skills, and information – let’s call these people “lawyers.” I also think that is intentional that the people most stressed now are people who think they followed all the rules and did everything right and have the reality that this shit does not matter to most people and does not matter when it’s inconvenient to power. I have respect for so many losers in life and hate and disdain my profession.

It’s like Chappelle’s opening joke in his most recent special about Bourdain and his friend working at a grocery store. The punchline to that joke is, SPOILERS, that life is absurd. That’s the whole point of comedy as a genre. Except that I’m also a bastard who has no sympathy for people handed everything in life and then act put upon over anything. Because I am one of those people a d familiarity breeds contempt.

Okay. Enough rambling. Go look for that audio clip. Danny rules.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I posted the TX Monthly link when I was only 1/3 of the way through the writeup, then I went and finished reading it. What a human being. I think I might even convince my cheap ass to pony up the six bucks to rent Inmate #1 on Amazon Prime.

Unsurprised

“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else.

“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else.

“Everything.”

Last edited 1 month ago by Unsurprised
Viva La Tabula Raza
Last edited 1 month ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
TheRevanchist

It’s shit rice anyway.

Brick Meathook

All the black logo people got fired, yet the white logo people all got promoted.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I am outraged out, I’ll read The Root’s take tomorrow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dat ass, do.

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yeah right

Day 1 of the move. I hope to be more coherent after all is said and done.

Goddamn these stairs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If I had to move at this point I would throw out/ donate half my shit. I expect you are much more organized.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

As a single person living like a BB in a boxcar in a 3300 sq ft house that is pretty much full of stuff I have no further use for as I age, I’m thinking I’ll just call an estate agent to sell everything. Live in a Winnebago or a refrigerator box under the highway overpass on the proceeds of the sale, plus my gov’t retirement, 401, and IRA. Shouldn’t be too bad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Quick artist’s depiction of first load.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Last few moves I’ve been involved with, it’s looked like the fucking Beverly Hillbillies.

Unsurprised

My only suggestion is this: Fire.

yeah right

Col. Duke LaCross

Seen them live twice. One of the better hard rock bands out there right now.

WCS

My cousin lives in Louisville Here in Yinzburgh, the grand jury let the cop who shot an unarmed black kid off. I see people who I’m “friends” with on Bookface saying this this why that BLUE,LIVES MATTER HASHTAG SUPPORT THE POLICE HASHTAG WHITE LIVES MATTER TOO

(that last one is a real thing around here)

Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
Senor Weaselo

If only the kid had been the wall to a white person’s apartment they might have actually gotten justice!

It’s sad that I can make this joke.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No worries, my laughter was sardonic. Actually nearly all my laughter is sardonic these days.

Gratliff

It seems impossible to make a snarky comment that isn’t just doom and gloom, but I can’t think of any realistic method of change that would outpace the influence and protections being dumped on law enforcement at this point. They do what they want regardless of who’s in power and if the local govt bops them on the nose, they run screaming to daddy in Washington. The prestige and respect for law enforcement in America is too deeply entrenched. They even use the worst incidents to create a narrative of them being mostly good, like Biden did with the George Floyd discussion during the DNC last month. Almost at the point where we prop police up higher than veterans.

Last edited 1 month ago by Gratliff
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I agree with everything but, “room and gloom” but even there it depends on the room. Well said.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One thing is that these same build up veterans to a fetishistic worship as far as anything other than an actual effort to help any of them. It is all a ‘thoughts and prayers’ exercise that accomplishes nothing.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think an interesting exercise would be to walk around a parking lot with a fistful of “Honor the Troops” stickers with the worst stickym paint damaging gum, and replace any removable “Honor the Troops” magnetic “stickers” with them.

Unsurprised

The summer of BLM gave us a fucking cop as the VP nominee. Democrats can eat shit.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I have a lovely Model 70 Colt Arms 1911 and 150 rounds of .45 ACP. I’m probably just going to shoot myself on November 4th, Don’t want to live in Trumpworld anymore.

ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t do that. He is not worth it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Worry not, drunk me some times gets a little histrionic. I did say “probably.” Let’s see how the Pats are doing, and whether the new Top Gear episode has been scheduled for release, before I do anything rash. Besides, doing such a thing would greatly inconvenience a lot of people dear to me. And I have become a physical coward as I’ve aged, so it’s really going to have to be endgame Mad Max World in order for me to really contemplate such an action.
Is it possible to smoke-weed-yourself-to-death?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I posted this earlier, but it would seem to be far to difficult, but I’m thinking that black licorice would still taste “fresh” after being left in a dystopian world.

https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/nation-world/story/2020-09-23/too-much-candy-man-dies-from-eating-bags-of-black-licorice

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if all anise-flavored liquors are as shitty as those I’ve tasted in my life: absinthe, sambuca, ouzo, raki. To this day, I can’t look a licorice whip in the eye, unless it’s red licorice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t do that please.

Last edited 1 month ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Don T

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[Mr. Hippo judges furiously]

TheRevanchist

You’ve Got Mail is on again tonight. I am quite happy about this turn of events. It really is a fantastic movie for anyone who is a fan of the Hungarian play it’s based on.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sometimes oral sex can be bad.

TheRevanchist

Teeth and/or the pubes/braces combo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Especially if it’s an ant which was exposed to radiation and grew to thousands of times its natural size……with braces.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Better than smoking clowns.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wasn’t one of the Cali fires The Clown Fire?

TheRevanchist

I mean, it kinda worked for Peter Parker. So, maybe it won’t be so bad?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

True that; “With great dick powers, cums great responsibility.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Richard Powers does not appreciate this joke.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Erik Kratz pitched his second inning in the last week. Good to have an extra arm out of the pen in addition to your third-string catcher. Plus he’s a knuckleballer!