Your “It’s A Facial Hair Foofaraw!” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

A special/limited edition Pepsi can goes to the winner! That strikes me as a half-decent marketing gimmick-good job soul-less international corporation.

I wasn’t too happy drafting 5th in a couple of leagues this year but it turns out it was one of a few sweet spots this year considering who has gone down to injury. You weren’t high enough to grab Saquon/McCaffrey and not low enough to be enticed by Thomas. Sometimes the sun shines on this old man’s arsehole.

TO THE GAME!

Fins/Jags:

-The Jags are the youngest team in the league at 24.9 years. If Miami didn’t have Fitz they would be the youngest. That tends to happen when you jettison all your assets for draft picks I guess.

-The Fins are without wins this year but not by design so there’s a bit of grumbling amongst the faithful. But last week’s game was going fine until cb Byron Jones went down and was replaced by the youngest player in the league (wish me luck spelling this)  last of the first rounder’s cb Igbinoghene. Diggs went a-feasting and the game turned. Sometimes it’s that simple.

-You do want to keep an eye out for  6’1″, 230 pound rook “plays all the skill positions” Laviska Shenault though. He’s an entertaining player that runs in a violent fashion and he gets the ball all over the field. His problem in college was staying healthy and so far so good.

-The over/under on this is 49 and the Jags can’t pressure the qb yet and Miami gives up the most yards per play two weeks in.

-Minshew has been exceptionally efficient with a 75% completion rate, a 7.9 yards per attempt and 6 TD’s to boot. His only two interceptions came on a batted pass at the line of scrimmage and rook wr trying to catch a pass that was not meant for him.

-Fantasy sweetheart come-lately is UDFA rb James Robinson who had 120 combined yards and a score. Good for him.

Well, that was my best effort to make this game look good. I actually do think it will be entertaining however. Go get ’em!

 

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m sorry I’ve been so checked out lately. I’m a bad commenter.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/rolls up newspaper

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do you think it stained the carpet?

Brick Meathook

I didn’t notice you were gone. Welcome back!

Senor Weaselo

Was it at least a decent game?

SonOfSpam

And Lakers go up 3-1. Wonder if Boston has anything left.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m hoping that they’ll eke out another win.

Unsurprised

2016 Golden State meme.

Brick Meathook

This is the only time the Commies beat Apollo:

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SonOfSpam

GLOREE BOY consequences

Recovery Whiskey

That was whelming

King Hippo

Huzzah, marginal GaskinPOINTZ

SonOfSpam

Get enough GaskinPOINTZ, you can get a denim jacket.

Game Time Decision

Come on safety

SonOfSpam

litre_cola

Hell yes!!!!

King Hippo

There will be 2-3 Jagura plays, still.

SonOfSpam

Good 4 you and good 4 potential intoxicant purchases!

Recovery Whiskey

Minshew Mania!!! Go Cougs!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Fitz needs to start a game for New England, Complete the AFC east circuit

Viva La Tabula Raza

That would be more awesome than Flutie finishing up his career at Foxboro.

King Hippo

His mom might be ded, which would rule him out of Grumblelord’s list

Viva La Tabula Raza

When I was 38, my mom was 57. I’m sure that’s within Belihandjob’s acceptable age range, as long as she is well-maintained.

SonOfSpam

I’m confused…how much does a handy from your mom cost again?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m her only kid, so they are free for me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I didn’t see this before; it should have been shut down at 10:48.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think all the talking heads on the NFL Network pre-game picked Jags to win this one. Ha ha.

litre_cola

NAWT Hippo and Litre!

Sharkbait

I need to consult with the Hippo prior to going to the in laws in New Hampshire on Sunday

King Hippo

I bet Fatty Gruden imagines that black is slimming. NOT ON YOU, Fatty

Unsurprised

The right kind of black can be.

Last edited 25 days ago by Unsurprised
SonOfSpam

George Floyd’s neck, for example.

Brick Meathook

But when you need to build a capsule, you need real Americans on that assembly line. It will only catch fire or blow up once or twice, max (and that’s a very acceptable ratio for the price).

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SonOfSpam

Claustrophobic me is getting very uncomfortable.

Sharkbait

‘I felt exactly how you would feel if you were getting ready to launch and knew you were sitting on top of 2 million parts — all built by the lowest bidder on a government contract.’

— Attributed to John Glenn

Brick Meathook

That old joke probably goes back to the Roman Empire (and they stole it from the Greeks).

SonOfSpam

That joke and sheep-fucking.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I used to have to ride the contract USAF rotators to and from various Middle East nations we were/are fucking around in. We always refer to them as “Bob’s Airlines” or “We Built It Ourselves Air.”

Last edited 25 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Brick Meathook

How does “We Built It Ourselves Air” translate into “Bob’s Airlines?” The letters aren’t even the same. Explain, please.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Separate airlines completely. Like American and Delta.

Brick Meathook

I see.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m probably not being clear, those were just joke names we made up for the various small independent carriers that would win the contracts for the transport of troops and government employees to and from the AOR. Flights usually originated in BWI, stopped at Frankfurt, and on to Baghdad, Kuwait, or other Mideast destinations. They would come back full of troops rotating home, stopping at any variety of places on the way back, including Aviano, Incirlik, or Lajes Field in the Azores, and back to Baltimore. Most of the air hostesses were in their 60s or 70s and service was pretty slow, but most of the passengers were just happy that they had survived their tour.

Last edited 25 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Brick Meathook

I see.

herodotus450

A Rabbi, a Spartan, and an Athenian walk into a bar…

Brick Meathook

Two lesbians walk into bar with a kangaroo . . .

Recovery Whiskey

“Gee have you seen Russell Wilson play this well”

.. and then he gets 0 MVP votes in his career.

ECB FTW

Brick Meathook

Maybe he doesn’t pray hard enough.

King Hippo

MIA kicks FG, surrenders garbage time TD. Litre Reacts Reasonably

litre_cola

I JUST SAID THAT!!!!!

Sharkbait

Miami fucked me in garbage time last week. Assholes

Game Time Decision

With a flipper or a fluke?

litre_cola

My ML bet will cover but I want it all.

SonOfSpam

Is Miami kinda gritty and lovable now?

TheRevanchist

That was last season when the front office traded away what talent they had. Then they started winning a few towards the end of the season.

SonOfSpam

So now they’re just filthy art deco Cubans?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Good restaurants/cuisine, though.

King Hippo

“Why aren’t they punting? Still have two timeouts smh” – Tony Dungy

WCS

A decision that leaves us hanging..

SonOfSpam

Knot funny.

SonOfSpam

“Never go for it, even if you’re biologically inclined to do so!”

Recovery Whiskey

Gardner planted

King Hippo

First Hahvahd to Hahvahd NFL completion??

TheRevanchist

But which one is the pitcher and which one is the catcher?

King Hippo

Is very important for prison yard status!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Does that count as a completion?

Recovery Whiskey

Time for some more Fitzmagic!!

Col. Duke LaCross

Adam Shaheen hurt. Shocking.

litre_cola

O/U is 48.5, that was fucking sweet

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t think Edith Piaf had a mouth; she sang exclusively through her nose.

litre_cola

Sometimes I get stoned and listen to her. She could sing IMO

Viva La Tabula Raza

Oh, I certainly enjoy her; definitely an acquired taste though.

Recovery Whiskey

Still helped defeat the Nazis

Game Time Decision

Wright was wrong there

Sharkbait

Yes Robinsondown!

/sees Hippo has Robinson

//Has Robinson in money league

YES!

King Hippo

Our Jagura WR is equally shit!

TheRevanchist

That kick made me cringe.

Recovery Whiskey

Doinkus

litre_cola

Having the under sucks.

Brick Meathook

Whether designing rocket motors or gas chambers, German scientists give you your money’s worth:

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Absolutely.

Last edited 25 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
JustStopDude

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JustStopDude

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Senor Weaselo

One, two-hoo-hoo, three…

Brick Meathook

She needs a boob job and maybe shed a few pounds off that gigantic ass.

JustStopDude

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TheRevanchist

You take that back! Her arse is art.

Brick Meathook

If you like gigantic asses it is.

litre_cola

Confirmed.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

It’s like her head, her orange part, and her blue part are disproportionate and don’t match each other. Plus, she needs to work on her attitude. She probably now works at a Tim Horton’s in Alberta.

Last edited 25 days ago by Brick Meathook
litre_cola

WHICH ONE??????

Brick Meathook

Is there more than one? I said “Alberta.”

litre_cola

Oh lord, the rednex here love them some capitalism coffee. THEY FUCKING GAVE OUT MASKS FROM THE GVMT AT TIMS DRIVE THRUS!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve encountered a couple of gals over the years who you could bring to climax just by manipulating their small breasts. I think all boobs have the same amount of nerve endings, so they’re grouped a lot more close together on the smaller breasts than the zeppelins and therefore much more sensitive.

Brick Meathook

But I bet they had to have really bushy pubic hair. Amirite?

Viva La Tabula Raza

It was the style at the time, like the onion I wore on my belt.

Brick Meathook

I see.

Recovery Whiskey

So is that the Jaguars full home audience or are they socially distancing

Sharkbait

Yes

Game Time Decision

No pool shots yet, so maybe distancing

Sharkbait

That pool might have something worse that COVID in there

Viva La Tabula Raza

In high school, there were several girls that were excused from swimming in the school’s Olympic size pool during PE because their parents were afraid they would get pregnant from swimming in the same pool as teenage boys. This was in supposedly enlightened Southern California. To be fair, we boys jizzed in the pool at every opportunity.

Last edited 25 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Game Time Decision

“Might”

Its Jacksonville, of course there’s something worse in there

Last edited 25 days ago by Game Time Decision
King Hippo

Yeah, baby, that gets Gaskin over 10!!

SonOfSpam

“Hey, that’s great!” – James Robinson, trying not to snicker.

King Hippo

What kills me is the Keeper League aspect. He would have been $3 RB1 next year.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, but you got Gaskin for $12, so that’s cool.

Recovery Whiskey

Capt Checkdown checks in and out

Recovery Whiskey

Take a seat beard boy

SonOfSpam

-Kristen Stewart to Robert Pattinson, whenever she saw some hot gash

litre_cola

Heh, gash.

Unsurprised

Speaking of Kristen Stewart’s hot gash, there’s video floating about.

Last edited 25 days ago by Unsurprised
SonOfSpam

Could you please be more specific, link-wise?

Unsurprised

h

ttps://imgbox.com/c7iAunO2

SonOfSpam

Thank you for your cervix.

Brick Meathook

So what channel is this game on?

I don’t have ESPN so don’t say that.

I get the Los Angeles broadcast channels, so don’t say some stupid Canadian network. I worked in Canada for six months last year, I’m a citizen, my mother is from there, and now I completely understand why she fled the place.

Mr. Ayo

NFL Network

Brick Meathook

That ain’t happening either.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Game’s out of hand anyway. I’m getting ready to change the channel.

King Hippo

I like the challenge, move ball, still short combination.

litre_cola

Corona makes seltzer? Before I make a watery beer joke, is it any good?

SonOfSpam

I’ve tried maybe 4 different brands, and I liked Corona the best, so?

litre_cola

That’s why I asked. We have different shit up here, but do have White Claw and I was underwhelmed.

King Hippo

“Why aren’t they kicking the FG?” – “Riverboat” Ron

JustStopDude

Oh Jacksonville…
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Viva La Tabula Raza

Day of the Jackal, 1973. Killer flick (get it?)comment image

Unsurprised

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Recovery Whiskey

It is at times like these that I like to remember how much I missed the NFL all year, and was worried we wouldn’t even have an NFL

Sharkbait

Nawt a catch!

Recovery Whiskey

Tip denied.

Last edited 25 days ago by Recovery Whiskey
Game Time Decision

Yes.

Last edited 25 days ago by Game Time Decision
King Hippo

Wasn’t it 4th down, this saving LOLfins like 20 yards??

King Hippo

Nope, the commercial break just confuse Hippo

King Hippo

Minshew got that Michael Irvin kiss of death pre-game.

Game Time Decision

he stole some of Mike’s coke?

WCS

Troy says he blew up.
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King Hippo

But enough about Fatty Gruden!

Recovery Whiskey

And thus ends Minshew Mania

Beastmode Ate My Baby

And so, there was no joy in Jacksonville that night.

Wait, is there ever joy in Jacksonville?

Why, yes, of course. Whenever the meth boats dock at the harbor, and it’s free Buffalo Wings night at the Strip-O-Rama Funtime Arcade.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think Trump held a Nuremberg Triumph of the Swill Super Spreader event in Duval tonight.

Last edited 25 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
King Hippo

I mean, North Florida Man is his target-est demographic.

litre_cola

Where so you insert the loonies at this arcade?

Gatoraids

Hail to the fail baby

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King Hippo

It may be booky-book time now.

Game Time Decision

is that moar betting or like actual reading?

clint greasewood

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SonOfSpam

HURR DURR BIDAN IS SEANILE AND TRUMP WILL DISTROY HIM

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wait, FOX is teaming up with BET? That’s odd, to say the least.

litre_cola

Hahaha, could be the edibles and wine, but that was superb.

King Hippo

I can still read good so long as mah lips move along