Five games to choose from! Let’s do this!
TO THE GAMES!
Jets/Colts:
“WILL COACH GASE MAKE IT TO WK. 8?” I mean, he’s gotta be the first guy shown the door, right? Between his own gase-ness and the injury bug taking up residence at the training facility he’s got a hard kettle of fish to row. Perpetual Tiger Beat coverboy Jonathan Taylor Thomas is ready to break tween girl’s hearts and the spirit of the Jets D.
Panthers/Chargers:
LA’S QB LOSES HIS JOB TO TEAM’S DOCTOR is what the headlines should have read. There’s no truth to the rumour that said doc was seen accepting a fat envelope from Justin Herbert’s agent in a dark alley at midnight. It was actually done thru Paypal in the middle of the workday.
Bucs/Broncs:
Denver has the 3rd most snaps taken by rookies and that will only increase as K.J. Hamler subs for Sutton. On tudder side, Jeudy leads the league in dropped passes with three.
Lions/Cards:
There was all kinds of talk on Giants boards about shoring up the secondary by drafting Isaiah Simmons because he was a ‘do everything’ sort of player. Well, the Cards ended up taking him and inserting into the lineup right away. He did some things for sure, including giving up 3 catches for 86 yards and 2 TD’s. Last week he played all of 7 snaps.
Cowboys/Seahawks:
This is the barnburner most folks’ll be fixated on. Whoever is playing slot for Dallas will feast because Seattle cb Ugo Amadi is surrendering an 80% catch rate so far this year. Who does he think he is, Buster Skrine? smh…
Do as you do below.
gentlemen, I’ve had, an interesting day, regarding the Chicago football team
Why did I put money on the Jets to cover.
Self-loathing?
He hates himself AND he hates money.
i kinda want Gase to stay for gambling reasons
Yeah, I’m right here.
*Red Zone cuts to Jets*
Me: Darnold highlight?
*Darnold highlight*
You call him throwing interceptions highlights?
From my aisle, absolutely!
Bolt Man Groups new Unis are growing on me.
They’ve always had gorgeous uniforms. Too bad the team and owner suck balls.
The funniest thing about that is the Phoenix Suns tie-in.
Tits are attracted to fat balls. Who knew
Aldon Smith was a great pickup.
If Dan Quinn has any sort of inclination towards self-preservation, DC Raheem Morris is dead in the water tomorrow morning.
In his defense, there’s no way he game planned for the backup dong.
Eagles get niners next. Fucking lol. 0-3-1 imminent
On the bright side, you’re in the NFC East!
Get yourself a Dock Street Pilsner, drink it, and smash the bottle on a WAWA employee.
Hey, 6-9-1 probably wins the division.
Nice.
maaaaaan
Should I mention that Big Dick Nick led the Bears to a come from behind victory?
Yeah, you’re right.
Is a game against the falcons ever really a come from behind victory?
True. It’s just a regular game for them.
Donovan McNabb wants to know why the Eagles & Bengals just quit playing.
Randall Cunningham is befuddled by the outcome of this Philly-Cinci game
Safety Dance!
Losing in an embarassing fashion to the Bengals was preferable to that garbage
Fuck, I’m so mad
Oh the NFC East is still up for grabs…..
“still”?
Everybody look at your hands.
Pete Carroll’s mask is already off
Because hand sanitizer can’t melt steel beams.
Not a great idea to antagonize his star QB by making a Future reference
Seattle goes for 2 and Dallas obliges.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjPau5QYtYs&ab_channel=UnidiscMusic
Can’t fucking believe what I just watched
This coach torched a dynasty with a backup QB and just played for a 60 yard field goal and took back to back penalties to knock them out with 10 seconds left in the game against the worst team in professional sports
Oh I want to tune in to Philly sports radio ala manana
No Draw has ever been MOAR deserved.
Touchdown!!! And the crowds goes 100 1101 0011 1010 00100 101 1001001…
what the absolute fuck is this
Your coach may also be…a little special
Gather round yeh sisters.
Aaron Donald is a monster. Imagine the kinds of absolute murder he could have committed in the 90’s….
In LA? Cops probably would have murdered him
The fuck were you thinking Doug
Definitely the smart move to uh play for a 60 yard attempt
Might be a Russ – Dak shootout today yee haw
HOX!!!
Eat shit Jerry!
I can’t believe they’re showing the OT on this meaningless game. Put on 60 Minutes!!
Hold your onions grandpa, go eat the early bird special, it’s still too early for 60 minutes
In the freezer Vodka league, Spam and I are locked in a defensive struggle which is code for ‘there’s all kinds of suckage going on’.
Oh Maestro and I are equally brutal.
TeamWKRP keeps calling time out. Because reasons?
Oh this will end in a tie….
You know who else ended in a tie? Michael Hutchence.
#DontChange
Tony Dungy’s son?
#WouldntChange
You know who else ended in a tie? David Carradine.
Maybe the Eagles wil run to the line and spike it 3 times and they’ll get the ball back. I wouldn’t put it past them.
This game will end when Thursday’s game starts.
Extra point doesnt count unless the kicker called the bank….indy vs nyj
Hawks just lost a starting lineman Lewis.
400, almost up to one TD per Laserface child!
i’m calling BS its really raining in Seattle
*opens tent*
Holy shit, the sun!
And blue skies!
So I took the Jets +11.5
Thought we put up a ban to keep his kind out.
Today is very bad, and I want a reset button.
Tie?
What’s better than a sale in Atlanta? A giveaway.
General Sherman
Theres the 3 and out Shotty offense I know
Welcome to America’s game starring two of America’s most hated teams!!
Iggles-Bungles deserves a tie.
Before the game: “Winner gets to continue being a team/city ok?”
The real winner: all of us.
The city of Atlanta, desperate for a hockey franchise, will have to settle for their football team only playing for three quarters a game.
Oh Atlanta you are very shitty.
Josh Allen and Kirk Cousins’ combined IQ is -6.
I disagree with this statement. Allen’s IQ is not measured in numbers but in grunts and moans.
*Red Zone cuts to Jets*
Me: Darnold highlight?
*Darnold highlight*
GO BRONCOS!*
*Will loose close game.
yeee haw
really hoping that RB Ekeler goes off
go bolts
“As God is my witness, I thought Austin Ekeler was white.”
-Me
/also borrowed
Sexy Rexy getting TDs to put away these Raiders.