Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

It’s hard not to be excited for this one, isn’t it? But first, let’s do

Fallout:

-Foles is in and we’ve likely seen the last of Truth Biscuit in a Bears uni, barring injury. Looks like he becomes just another backup that floats around and you hear his name and say, “He’s still in the league?”.

-Another candidate must be Team’s Haskins. His QBR is 28, 10 points behind backup Kyle Allen’s 38. His percentage of uncatchable passes sits at 31.1% which is 10 points higher than the next in line.

-More qb news? Okay, Carson Wentz has also been all kinds of awful-on passes beyond 10 yards he throws an uncatchable ball an amazing 62.2% of the time. The next worst guy is at 50%.

-Josh Allen made believers out of some folks but not me. But then I looked at one stat and did a double-take. He sits at 13th in the league in adjusted pass completions and his PFF passing grade is 5th so far this year at 83.9. You know what might help to improve his play even more? (see below)

-I’ve whined about it, and Hippo has made mention as well-GIVE THE BALL TO SINGLETARY MORE! Yesterday he ran 13 times and had a 5.5 ypc average. He was also thrown to 4 times and made off with a 12.5 yard average. You add that up and it’s 17 touches. I’m not pointing this out as a fantasy guy but as a football fan. I just don’t get it-he’s a dynamic back that simply doesn’t get the opportunity to show what he can do. Gah!

TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Ravens:

-there’s so much to talk about it’s hard to identify what is most salient but I’ll kick a few cans around.

-K.C. must be stout on early downs so that the Ravens are put in 3rd and long situations. The Ravens convert on 44% of 3rd downs which is a middle of the pack number but are still successful. That’s due to the fact that they don’t see that many because they’re getting fresh downs earlier in the possession. On 4th downs Baltimore led the league in conversions with a gaudy 71% success rate.

-The Chiefs need to target the lb unit because it consists of two rooks and 30 yr old L.J. Fort. Tight ends for the Texans and Browns have feasted to the tune of 16/148/2 so far this year.

-Speaking of te’s, Mark Andrews lines up in the slot 66% of the time so he should see plenty of Honey Badger. That matchup should be interesting.

-You figure this one will be close and high-scoring which means that someone will have to make a play to get the W. Lamar? Pat? Tyreek? Chris Jones? Dobbins? CEH? Who’s it gonna be?

CAN’T WAIT! for you to provide commentary below.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My wife (former lawyer) and her brother (judge) are currently discussing what crimes each of the kids in the final rumble in Cobra Kai would be charged with.

TheRevanchist

Whatever you do, block the show Live PD. BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

yeah right

Cracked open a bottle of the Glenlivet to christen the new home but were drinking hobo style since we haven’t unpacked the shot glasses.

Unsurprised

You have to wear a house key around your neck to ward off Scotchie

yeah right

And a railroad flare.

Sharkbait

Desperate times my internet friend.

Beerguyrob

“No glasses? No problem. Sidecar Gary once showed me how to make wine glasses out of some cardboard & discarded toothpaste. The secret is soaking the creases.”

— Jim Tomsula

TheRevanchist

How in the blue hell is the HC position scored?

Dunstan

Depends on the league. In some leagues, you get bonus points for “ribs eaten,” and lose them for salads consumed. Andy Reid is a great pick then. If instead the bonus points are for MILFS laid and hoodies worn, then Grumblelord should be a first-rounder.

TheRevanchist

MILFs and GILFs, baby!

King Hippo

Thanks to the magical beauty of a 5-hour nap, I get to watch Fargo Season 4 now!

yeah right

I’ll watch tomorrow. Too much sweat and effort tonight.

King Hippo

huzzah, strong language AND VIOLENCE!!!

Senor Weaselo

Remember, violence is not the answer. Violence is the question, and the answer is yes.

JimU

I’m 2-1 in fantasy. My two wins were by less than one combined point.

King Hippo

That’s just GOOD LIVIN’

ballsofsteelandfury

0-3 here. Lost one by 1.8 points because Dobbins didn’t do shit tonight.

Don T

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Horatio Cornblower

2-1. Lost by 1.4 this week because I’m an idiot.

The Maestro

Well, no more hockey until… indeterminate. Feels weird, man. At least we have FOOBAW

Sharkbait

It’s Lafreniere time!

The Maestro

You lucky fuck.

King Hippo

Holy cats, are the ‘Dacteds ever gonna get it next Sunday.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HARD.

King Hippo

I hope they have gimp masks.

Unsurprised

Every mask is a gimp mask when you play on that turf.

King Hippo

very solid point!

Unsurprised

Solid. Unlike fedex field

King Hippo

Try and get MOAR solid than painted concrete U CAN’T!!!1111

Unsurprised

Go on …

Sharkbait

Mahomes has 50 points. My opponent has 89

Unsurprised

Mahomes should’ve just let the computer auto-draft

herodotus450

Dental Dams Incorporated missed a big chance by not getting in on this Stanley Cup lip lock slopfest this year.

Senor Weaselo

I read that as Danny Dimes Incorporated and was going to say that naturally he fumbled that chance away.

Unsurprised

*POP* POP* POP* POP* POP* POP* POP*

Horatio Cornblower

One of these days I’m going to Ocean’s 11 the Stanley Cup and refuse to release it until Hartford gets another hockey team. And not one of the shitty ones like Carolina, or Florida, either. I want the Blackhawks, or at least their non-union Mexican equivalent.

Unsurprised

So … the Kings.

Senor Weaselo

He said not one of the shitty ones!
/Feels good to say that after 2014

Unsurprised

I was going off the Mexican clause

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Negrohawks?

/no, no, I was changing the first word to Spanish!

Unsurprised

Oh, what a coincidence. I just found a nice Monique Gabrielle gif to go with the Bachelor Party reaction gif below.

h

ttps://i.redd.it/wand5jdglq641.gif

Horatio Cornblower

It’s really kind of amazing that Tom Hanks has had the career he has after starring in that movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

….Big

Horatio Cornblower

The Stanley Cup presentation just isn’t the same without the utter shitprick Bettman getting the living fuck booed out of him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Thank you for your service.

Mr. Ayo

No booing?!?!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Sharkbait

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WCS

BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beerguyrob

Really, both teams in Edmonton are winners because they now get to leave Edmonton.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Definitely gonna hear an F Bomb from Tampa