Less than Elite and Wednesday Night Open Thread

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Latest posts by Joliet Jake Delhomme (see all)

By Request:

Rowdy Roddy Piper:

I don’t have any great personal stories about Roddy Piper. His heyday kind of came during a low point in my wrestling fandom. I had a lapse in interest between the rise of Hulk Hogan and the beginning of the Monday Night Wars. He was one of the greatest heels and greatest talkers in the history of the industry. He wrestled on the first Wrestlemania, teaming with Paul Orndorff against Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. “Piper’s Pit” was the inspiration of many of the current wrestler-based interview segments. During one famous segment in 1984, he hit unindicted murderer Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka in the head with a coconut.

This is my favorite story. Ronda Rousey had always had the nickname “Rowdy” among her friends, from childhood. Early in her MMA career, she refused to use it professionally, because she thought it would be disrespectful to Roddy Piper. Eventually, she met him in person and he gave her permission to use the “Rowdy” nickname. When she premiered in WWE, she appeared wearing Roddy’s jacket, given to her by his son.

Notice the font on the shirt and the tartan skirt

And the best movie line ever:

Random Non-Wrestling Notes:

I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts. Back when I had a job, I would listen to them on the way to work, during work and on the way home from work. Headphones keep people from randomly trying to chat you up and will only come into your office if it is really important. Now I listen to them as I go to sleep and when I am working on the computer. I will recommend one this week that I think this group of misfits would enjoy. Go on your preferred podcast platform (I use Spotify) and search for “Crime in Sports”. “James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman are two comedians who take an unmerciful and hilarious look at athletes who have lost big games…with the law! Crime in Sports does the research, and finds the funny in the world of sports true crime”. While they have covered the obvious (Todd Marinovich, Oscar Pistorius, Lenny Dykstra, etc.) they also cover the obscure (Ralph “Blackie” Schwamb, Pedro “Pistola Pete” Ramos, etc.). A great listen for fans of sports and morons, which is the definition of our Venn Diagram. For every one of you who subscribe, I will receive $1.47. This is not true. Or is it? Or not? Or is it? Or not? Or is it? Or not?

On to the Brain Damage!

Now, this is all subject to change. Last week’s show got messed up with the global bastard taking out Lance Archer. WWE had to shuffle the hell out of Sunday’s Clash of Champions PPV after a global bastard outbreak at the Performance Center.

So, Brandi Rhodes has been running a YouTube series for over a year called “A Shot of Brandi”. It is a cooking/drinking show with guest wrestlers. This week, she hosted Tony Khan, the owner of AEW. They drank tequila and ate steaks together.

Yes, that is the owner of AEW. And Fulham FC. I’m going to call full “dude bro”.

Tonight’s Sprots:

  • AEW Dynamite: 7:00pm TNT
  •  MLB
    • Yankees vs Indians: 6:00pm ESPN
    • Brewers vs Dodgers: 9:oopm ESPN
  • NBA
    • Heat vs Lakers: 8:00pm ABC

Let the beatings commence!

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Joliet Jake Delhomme
My wife has been told to bring my ashes to the bleachers of Wrigley Field and pour me into the ivy. The "Dying Cub Fan's Last Request". Cubs, Bears, LA Kings, Arsenal and GWS Giants fan. Active boycotter of all college sports, having sat in a classroom with a "Student-Athlete". I also watch NASCAR and golf on the weekends, because I like naps.
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Senor Weaselo

All right Gio, we need a single, just a little single.

Fronkenshteen

Also accepting doubles.

Petronel

Britt’s back!

blaxabbath

It’s cool that the NBA has all these old greats in the stands/”at the game”. I’d much rather see their, face it, EXPERT reactions to the game than how some fucking Bay Area families with their 9 year old children are checking their granola snacks during the timeout.

Unsurprised

I prefer Overcast, especially since it has a feature to make up to one-minute-long clips to share. It’s also very low key as UI goes, but it also has a great smart speed adjustment to skip pauses and such (I also listen at 1.25x, and there are pods I have listened to that are unlistenable at anything less than 1.75x) and its vocal boost is indispensable.

Fronkenshteen

THIS FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM OF MINE, I CALL IT “RED” FROM SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, BECAUSE HERE I AM POKING AROUND A NEW ENGLAND BACKFIELD TRYING FOR A BIG SCORE.

Unsurprised

Better Red than the Sisters.

blaxabbath

That’s really funny to me. Very original.

But has a big nose. WOULD NOT BANG!

Fronkenshteen

It was a reach.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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blaxabbath

Yeah that was one its strengths .

Gratliff

Few things make me happier than someone mocking someone’s pose and also getting the normal camera work for it

Viva La Tabula Raza

Going by her eyebrows and brunette-ness, and if she’s not a lady-scaper, gotta think Rachel has a bush like a crow’s nest.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, let’s get in there!

Unsurprised

We’ve always been in there, Mr. Moose.

blaxabbath

Here is how I know the Suns are a shitty franchise. The Miami heat won a title before LeBron in ’05-’06. Then assembled the first megateam (or whatever) and won titles. Now, while LeBron is leading his next-next team to The Finals, Miami has gone ahead and assembled another Conference champion.

During this time, PHX had:
9 head coaches
7 GMs
1 owner (who took over a year before Wade’s title)
7 Playoff Series wins (never passing the Conference Finals)
0 playoff appearances since 2010 (A DECADE)
7 .500+ seasons

And the city of Phoenix just LOBS money at them.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Why the fuck you think we left St. Louis?”
—Bidwill family

Unsurprised

Insufficiently racist and much stricter DUI laws

Viva La Tabula Raza

We’re trying though!!
—Joe Arpaio

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The partridge in a pear tree was a good hire.

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Besides being a good response, this GIF is just fucking precious anywhere.

Unsurprised

/Shaq Voice

Ain’t got no rings.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Icy Hot shot.

Unsurprised

What can I say except they share the same law firm as the Qards and Dbacks. So it’s well versed in conning those dirt and rust-drinking fucks.

Last edited 19 days ago by Unsurprised
Senor Weaselo

Counterpoint: The Knicks.

Unsurprised

That’s just nuking the board in CoD multiplayer

Petronel

Billy Mitchell, arcade gamer back in the day.

Gratliff

Billy Mitchell of King of Kong Fame

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

His raid on Tokyo did help morale.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nice call.
Tangential:
Jimmy Doolittle led the Raid on Tokyo to which you refer from the deck of USS Hornet in B-25 Billy Mitchell bombers.
My dad’s last USAF assignment before retirement in the late 1970s was Public Affairs officer at Lackland AFB in San Antonio.
There was some kind of anniversary celebration or other that my old man organized at the base, and in attendance was General Doolittle. I got to meet him, and was probably just as equally thrilled as I was in the mid-70s at meeting Chuck Yeager (he was in charge of the AF Safety Center at Norton AFB in San Bernardino, and my dad worked under him on the AF Inspector General team).

Unsurprised

Was he in charge of safety when he flew that F-104?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, that particular flight certainly burnished his resume…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes I am aware, I was trying to make the joke stretch and failed miserably. I should have just went with the “Father of the Air Force” joke as opposed to that stupid stretch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I wasn’t aware you met Doolittle who has his own great history.

Viva La Tabula Raza

99 out of 100 people wouldn’t know who the fuck I was talking about, so it’s not something I brute about much. Figured the elevated informedness of the commentariat here would be down with it. I wasn’t trying to shoot down your Mitchell reference, or sink it like the Ostfriesland.
Another tangential, for a few years I was the AF rep for environmental restoration at the AF Reserve C-130 facility at Milwaukee Mitchell International Airport.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It deserved shooting down (nice pun), terrible it was.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That one guy has been around for decades.comment image

Unsurprised

Serpentor making his first primetime appearance since the GI Joe movie debuted on ABC in … fuck … We’re old.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fighting story (full disclosure: I am not a fighting enthusiast): In 2007, I was the country chief for my Air Force engineering agency in Afghanistan, based in the Wazir Akhbar Khan quarter of Kabul. We lived in a fancy 5 story villa, and we were assigned a personal security detail who were responsible for myself and the rest of my PMs and engineers. These guys were contractors and every one of them were ex-British forces. Highlanders, Paras, Royal Marines, etc. Many of them had been in the shit in first Iraq war, Yugoslavia in the 90s, Afghanistan 01, Iraq 03, etc.
They were always fucking about and taking the piss out of each other, and were so fucking funny that it actually made the suck of being in the war zone tolerable.
New guy showed up on the team one day, little short but very stout fucker name of Darren. Shortly after he arrived, he was assigned to accompany me on a “movement” out to a remote location, and he took the opportunity to inform me of his CV; he’d been Royal Marines and recently spent several years as George and Olivia Harrison’s bodyguard. Of course I had to ask him if was George’s BG before or after he’d been stabbed, important information!
Anyway, I noticed that none of the other PSD guys would fuck with Darren like they did so amusingly with each other. I asked the Team Chief, a 6’8″ mad fookin’ Scotsman why everyone kind of stepped lightly around Darren. Big Al Cherry told me, “Oooh mate, ask him to show you some videos. He’s fookin’ ‘ard, mate.”
When I asked, Darren showed me a couple vids on his laptop, sure enough, he was a fucking cage fighter. I never made fun of him for being a short shit with a funny accent, my damn self.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This milkshake was good but it seems to have given me TMJ.

herodotus450

That’s funny, the only thing a milkshake has ever given me is OBE..sity.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Unsurprised

The last SNL skit I have any memory of from this century is based on this line and it was okay until they jammed in a No Country joke at the end.

blaxabbath

Nike be all like, “VOTE”.

Then they funnel $15 million through to the Federalist Society to give them a judge who blocks apparel companies from being held to environmental regulations.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yep. Child labor in other countries is unlikely to vote.

blaxabbath

“Nike will give their voice a rightful place in our political system.”

‘- Justice Barrett

Unsurprised

I almost started a fight about this on FB back when I was on. It turns out the final page of this month’s bar bulletin is about something similar but still in the milquetoast, dare I say chickenshit and halfhearted way that is the only way it would ever get into that rag. Still, it’s a fight I want to pick again one of these days. One of many.

rockingdog

hey quick fantasy football question:
Is Julio Jones going to come back from injury and play within the next two weeks?
Or should I trade him away for another WR??

blaxabbath

Trade him to someone playing a 4th Quarter against the Falcons.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Go on…” – Rex Ryan

Gratliff

[door flies open]

Unsurprised

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Beerguyrob

Long story barely remembered: I met Roddy Piper at an All-Star wrestling event in Vancouver back in I-think 1981. He was the face against “Playboy” Buddy Rose. Eleven year-old me was crying because Rose split him open during the match. As he was shuffling out of the ringside area, he saw me and a bunch of clearly worried kids & gave us a wink.

Years later I learned that he & Rose did this exact bit all up & down the West Coast off & on for almost a decade. He loved Rose so much he had him on Piper’s Pit in December 1984 when Rose was considered a glorified jobber.
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blaxabbath

Oh, I didn’t know Angela Bassett was black. I guess I’d just heard her voice before and couldn’t picture what she’d look like at all.

Interesting. I’m pretty excited to see what this En. Be. Aye? is all about.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I just hope she doesn’t get confirmed by the Senate for the SCOTUS.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I would rather have Angela than any Trumpster, she’s not a lawyer, but has played one and that was good enough for Kavanaugh.

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Unsurprised

She was great in Strange Days.

Viva La Tabula Raza

By all means; with you all the way down. Jokes in the Roseanne Roseannadanna vein are pretty passe these days and I really need to control myself.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The reference flew over my head. Odd because I still remember Gilda’s sketches.

blaxabbath

Holy crap. The Marines have a commercial where the message is basically, “Don’t enjoy the thrill of war in a video game, gamers; GO ENJOY THE REAL THING AS A MARINE!”

As a veteran — and I get that I was no Rambo but I’ve been damn near fucking blown up in an event that would be pretty arbitrary for everyone but me so I think I got some taste of big-W War — I find that very offensive and wrong that the message they’re sending is War is Recreation.

Gratliff

I mean, they used to have the commerical where a marine slays a dragon

blaxabbath

That’s fine. Personally, I think the military recruitment ads should be limited to a standard military form that lists pay grades, rankings, points, etc (the Government Cheese template) but, fine, at least you aren’t actually going to face a dragon. Now we make video games with the intention of making them as lifelike as possible (because it’s just a safe video game) and then the government goes, “What? You think war is fun; not just action video games. Uhh…yeah yeah. It is. Let’s go kick some Russian commie ass!”

*Commies not available in Russia so just go shoot up some blacks in Chicago.

WCS

This was was their second choice:
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love that he’s having trouble keeping it together for a line that takes all of four seconds to film.

Unsurprised

RIP to a legend.

Petronel
blaxabbath

WHy’s it called Metal Gear Solid? I never understood so I never tried the game. I was like, “NFL ’94!? I know what this’ll be!”

Petronel

Gratliff / Wikipedia can probably correct me if I get this wrong, but off the top of my head:
in the original game, Metal Gear was the name of the huge superweapon that Snake (our protagonist) was trying to locate. The game was called “Metal Gear” as well. The early games were sprite-based, so when they went 3D on the PS1, Hideo Kojima (the guy behind the series) added the “Solid” to emphasize the transition from sprites to polygonal characters. Most of the sequels have also been “Metal Gear Solid” – titled as well.

Oh, and the main protagonist was originally codenamed just Snake, but became Solid Snake before the PS1 transition, so that muddies the waters a bit.

Last edited 19 days ago by Petronel
Gratliff

Look, kojima is fucking crazy. He’s got a spin off called Metal Gear Rising Revengeance. No need to put thought into his name schemes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I always like to read about WWI trench warfare to get pumped up to back peolpe who are tough enough to send others into harms way.

Fronkenshteen

Or look at some Otto Dix.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

They have to be appealing to the Lowest Common Denominator these days. The 40-year policy started in January 1981 of continually chipping away at funding for education continues to pay off in spades. Just look at who is in the fucking White House.

Last edited 19 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Petronel

Helluva match. Scorpio Sky is gonna be a star someday.

Petronel

It would make sense, given that, back when we first saw SCU in AEW, Sky had to sub in for an injured Daniels as Kazarian’s tag team partner,

Unsurprised

Is he named for the greatest supervillain of all time?

WCS
Fronkenshteen

Tanaka getting slapped around here. Not good.

Petronel

Heel Bucks are the best Bucks.

Gratliff

They’re good Christian boys. They don’t do that shit.

Senor Weaselo

Can I complain about the rain delay in Cleveland? If it goes too long, yes, let’s burn both starters in the 1st inning! (Tanaka after one out.)

Redshirt

I agree. I want to see baseball played under a Gale Warning.

Senor Weaselo

I meant starting it in the first place, but sure.

Redshirt

Agreed. That should be the first rule: “Can we get out of the first inning?”

Gratliff

Just a dogshit promo from Cody. He can only do worked shoots.

Gratliff

The promo when he got fired/went on his honeymoon to the Rhodes family winning the belts from the Shield is one of my favorite story arcs.

Gratliff

Starting with a worked shoot of course

herodotus450

What about when they sprinkle salt around the ring?

herodotus450

And why’s it still called a ring when it is clearly a quadrilateral

Viva La Tabula Raza

Pentagram would be cool, too.comment image

Last edited 19 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Redshirt

One playoff game in and the Reds are already gone Peak Cincinnati.

WCS

Does watching Dark Side of the Ring count as watching wrasslin’?

Gratliff

Worth noting Allin was part of the #speakingout allegations over the summer. I don’t think anything ever came of it, though. It was an anonymous accusation and he never acknowledged it, I don’t think.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Cliteroti loves this joke.

rockingdog

shoot
Padres really needed to score some runs there
now down 6-4 thru 6 innings
goooo PADRES!!!
yay baseball!

rockingdog

found a funny:

ATTENTION: If You Watched the Presidential Debate, You May Be Entitled to Financial Compensation

Viva La Tabula Raza

Voting suggestion (as someone who has spent 80% of his life in or around both services and still work for the USAF):
McSally: “First female fighter pilot to fly in combat, USAF.” Well, actually, first attack plane pilot. A-10 is not a fighter, more like a flying pickup built around a 30mm cannon, not quite as challenging to fly as an F-16. Super-hypocrisy has defined her political career.
Kelly: Naval aviator (“If you ain’t tailhook, you ain’t shit.”), also an attack plane guy (A-6’s in his case, first gulf war instead of second one). But, FUCKING ASTRONAUT, 54 days in space. Plus, tough wife too.

Just read their wikipedia pages before you vote and mute the ads, enjoy the wrasslin’.

Unsurprised

The last person whose service record meant fuck-all w/r/t to a political campaign was Ike.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, lack of a military record seems to be more critical lately.

scotchnaut
  • unless you’re a veteran, then you’re on your own, loser.
Viva La Tabula Raza

FUCK! My lawn tractor took a not-worth-the-money-to-repair shit today, and I was hoping for that windfall. Gonna be 2 grand for a new one, and that’s if I cheap out.

BugEyedBoo

Zero turning radius for the win. A little more expensive, but you won’t regret it.

Last edited 19 days ago by BugEyedBoo
Viva La Tabula Raza

Been looking. From prices I’ve seen, the zero turn is anywhere from 30-50% higher than regular for similar swath (42″ is what I am replacing). On 2 acres, I only have a dozen trees to cut around and they are far enough apart that turning radius doesn’t come into the equation, especially from the cost perspective. I’ll be looking at Craftsman and John Deere, been advised that anything that doesn’t have a Kohler or Briggs/Stratton motor is a money pit. I’ve had the Craftsman I bought used for 11 years and haven’t had much trouble at all with it, I think my yard man actually fucked it up but he’s an undocumented from Honduras, what am I gonna do, sue him or call ICE? He’s been reliable as hell for a decade, I should have been a little more emphatic on the rules for turning it off (I think he turned it off while it was at full throttle, snapped the splined cam gear).

Last edited 19 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
BugEyedBoo

You do save some time just turning around in the zero turning mower. Which sounds crazy, but if you have a big yard, every little bit adds up.

I’ve mowed it zamboni-style a few times, but it always looks like shit when I’m done.

litre_cola

1. Roddy Piper is from Winnipeg, Mb and went to Windsor Park H.S. Very nice man.
2. Tony Khan needs to fucking concentrate on wrestling, and get the fuck out of West London. His bullshit approach is dragging Mighty Fulham back to the C’ship with a whimper. The prick told us we should be happy to be a yo-yo club, fuck you, we were in the Prem for 14 years before you showed up. Daddy needs to kick his ass out and get a real director of football. Fucking tired of his smarmy bullshit.

/rant over

Gratliff

I’m gonna say the opposite. Get away from the graps and ruin soccer instead

litre_cola

Can we agree he just ruin the Jaguars further???

Gratliff

That’ll be happening anyway as they slowly transition into being a stable in AEW

Viva La Tabula Raza

Winnipeg, Molybdenum? That’s where The Guess Who are from too!

litre_cola

And ME! (originally)

Viva La Tabula Raza

Are you Randy Bachman? Burton Cummings?
Nah, I know you aren’t. I just like that band.

scotchnaut

Netflix Rec:

The 9th Precinct. It’s a Taiwan thingy and there are several tone shifts that you’d never be able to anticipate. As far as narrative payoffs are concerned, it’s very well done.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed it is way better than the 8th Precinct.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Too soon?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Leaves Bergmar’s Seventh Seal and Shamalamdingdong’s Sixth Sense in the dust. Still think Luc Besson’s Fifth Element was a pretty superior film (especially as a guy that read Heavy Metal magazine religiously 40-45 years ago).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You’re in good hands with Allstate.

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litre_cola

That one of Hippos BFIB!

rockingdog

Oh no
down 6-3 to the cardinals thru 5 innings
gooooo PADRES!

Viva La Tabula Raza

So why does bearded dude automatically roll over and tell Belichick that he should have got a Subway sandwich for lunch before having the sleeves of his suit jacket cut off by Grumblelord? I’ve been aware of Belichick’s existence since he coached the Pauls, and have never seen anything that would make me associate him with Subway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why would you try to make sense of advertising? I watched a bit of the documentary Mad Men and still see no logic.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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