I laughed way too much at my dumb joke. TO THE GAMES!
Jags/Bengals:
Do you have A.J. Green sitting on your team, mocking you for your draft decisions? Yeah, he hasn’t even caught 50% of the balls headed his way yet but Fear Not! He’s been covered by cb’s Hayward, Ward and Slay the first three weeks but this Jags D has the highest expected points per pass play so far this year.
Vikes/Texans:
I’ve never drafted Will Fuller, ever, because inconsistency and injuries but if you have him this might be a spot. The once formidable Minny D is giving up the 4th most fantasy points to wr’s.
Browns/Cowboys:
Dalton Schultz was on no one’s radar and only became a starter in wk. 2 but he’s already TE10. Cleveland gives up the 3rd most targets and receptions to the position.
Ravens/Team:
[wails “The Waiting is the Hardest Part”] The frickin snaps arrangement in the Baltimore backfield is Dobbins (38%), Ingram (35%) and Edwards (27%). Team’s D-line flashed in wk.1 but now Ioamidis is on IR and Young is listed as doubtful. Ravens win this running away.
Saints/Lions:
As mentioned by Fronk(?), “Stafford Smash!”. Since wk.10 last year all but two qb’s have thrown for two or more scores vs. the N.O. D. NO D. Get it?
Cards/Panthers:
Want some data that reinforces your noggin notion that Bridgewater is a passive game manager? On throws over 5(!) yards his completion percentage is 43.4. Meanwhile, on the other side, Murray struggles in the 10-19 ‘intermediate’ range-his passing grade of 54.2 is the league’s worst.
Chargers/Bucs:
You may want to start Brady this week because 1) he threw 3 td’s last week and 2) Tampa’s run game is in tatters what with Fournette out and Jones The II being who he is.
Seahawks/Fins:
Trying to decide whether to start Carson and I see Miami’s run D hasn’t allowed a runner more than 56 yards so far this year. That’s not really a stat, that’s just happenstance, right?
Comment as you fit.
They’ll be dancing in the streets of Believeland
Dak-face
Eat shit jerrah
Dakerception to end this nonsense
OK, Nostradamus, nice call.
The Brown’s defense I call Diarrhea as they are playing so nauseatingly soft.
There have been no ads in the OBJs @ Persons for a looong while. It’s beautiful. More Schulz yards Wooo!
MISSED PAT
KICKOFF
3:25
C.Parkey extra point is Blocked (C.Goodwin) Center-C.Hughlett Holder-J.Gillan. Penalty on DAL-C.Goodwin Defensive Offside superseded. Play Challenged by Replay Official and Upheld. The ruling on the field stands.
Wait, Liverpool got assraped 7-2?!… YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (I had a 6 goal over on that one, though I admit I thought it’d be for the scumbags)
And the Bengals move on to 1-2-1.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vx5prDjKAcw
Blocked PAT recovered by the kicking team for two points. Shades of… Something!
OBJ with 44 points in Hippo’s money league.
???
… Well, that was … different
Bengals are playing COVID-19 Defense.
Shades of John Tyler!
I dun wet my britches
Too quick even more garbage Dak points
Let him have them, and maybe he can end up with a team that would be happy to have him.
Hox Victory formation
HOLY FUCKBALLS BECKHAMDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Suddenly I hear choirs of angels singing Hallelujah!
Shades of Plano East! Same field even! Well, same logo in the center of the field at least.
Break out the oreos baby!!
Herbert with a touching tribute to Rivers there.
The Factory is working 24/7
They’re hiring the ad firm Charmin used a few months ago to let everyone know how serious they are about their product shortage
Get Chubb back in the game
P/A: “Mr. Miyagi, please report to the Cleveland Trainer Room.”
This would be among the worst losses in Browns’ long, sad history of losses
#ThePauls
If I have to hear Brady and Cowboys comeback, I’m going to do something angry.
Like vote Republican?
Chill
He said angry, not stupid.
If they both win as underdogs then clearly trump does too
Odell Beckham just saved democracy.
I can possibly handle one of those two scenarios, but not both.
Fins try onside kick. Hox ball.
Fitzpatrick padding his stats
Down by 3 scores with 6 minutes left? Lions draw play gets no yards. It’s like the Saints D could see it coming.
Non-Gendereds, standing up 2 b counted
That was a quick 14 points
Throw the ball to Ceedee Lamb
Carson scores
“HEYOOOOOOOOOOO”
-Ed M.
This borders on being a history joke
Browns trying their new “give up 20 points in 10 minutes” defense. Only problem is there were 12 minutes left in the game when they switched to it.
Social distancing from recievers is the new prevent
Fitztragic
Picksmagic
The Bengals are showing the great adjustments they made during the week. Expect to see them decide to play the Jaguars every week.
David Moore with one of those catches they’ll make up new stats to describe.
Charmdown
Cincinnati Plays of 20+ Yards:
First 3 Games: 4
Today: 7
It’s because the Bengals are good not because the Jags are bad
We’ll know a week from now.
Chubb being out has really hurt the Browns rushing game. They dropped from 8 yards a carry to 7 once he went out.
Just call me Joe Mixon’s girlfriend because he is inexplicably beating the shit out of me
O/U on RGIII fucking up his knee on this field again?
Intercepted on his first pass, so nevermind
Best way to get off that field as quickly as possible.
Glad I didn’t take Baltimore to cover