Feels like the beginning of the season for some reason. Thank The Covid for that. As we move forward and things get less and less predictable, I want Wednesday night games. I want Friday morning games. I want Saturday midnight games. BLOW IT ALL UP, NFL! Maybe listen to someone in marketing that is under 45 years-old, for once.
Fallout:
-Listing injuries to stars is something I fear will not be a thing that goes away at any time this year. This is Agatha Christie’s “And Then There Were None” (original title was “Ten Little Washington Teams”) played out on the field. Anyhoo, Ekeler, Chubb, Drake and Darnold will likely miss (insert number here) weeks. It’s cool perusing one’s fantasy teams, reacquainting oneself with the “IR”, “D”, “O” and “Q” parts of the alphabet.
-The Colts D is a thing? With the exception of the Bears last drive (when Indy was likely in ‘prevent’) the Colts gave up only 170 yards. I’d heard before the season began that Ya-Sin and Blackmon were impressing and that cb Rhodes had regained his form. With this on top of above-average play from Buckner and Leonard, is the team modeling itself after last Year’s Pats? What with the lockdown secondary and the aged qb dinking and dunking to his heart’s delight?
-Feasting on wonky O-lines tends to inflate superior defensive players numbers-Myles Garrett and Aaron Donald share the league lead in pressures with 27.
-Shoutout to the many rookies that are flashing right now. The smartest of the smartest NFL jaw-waggers insisted that this would a very tough year for them. Apparently Herbert, Burrows, Lamb, Jefferson, Higgins and more than a few others didn’t bother listening.
TO THE GAMES!
Pats/Chiefs:
He’s so frickin’ entertaining! Patty sees the field so well, can make any type of throw, responds to texts in a timely fashion and can fold a fitted sheet! The latest rumor is that he’s going to carry the baby for his partner because he doesn’t want to burden her too much. So many of us thought that this 2-4 year window of Chiefs play would be them outscoring everybody and giving up mega points. The game vs. the Ravens and halftime adjustments last year on the run to the Super Bowl have put that notion to the side. Belchick will take one of Kelce, Tyreek or CEH out of the game and it won’t matter because Hoyer is bringing his talents to the starting spot.
Falcons/Packers:
What with Rodgers flinging the ball like his 27 year-old self again and Matty Ice in the late prime of his career, I don’t think that’s a big ask. Brian Hill acquitted himself well last week which automatically pings back to questions as to whether Hurdy Gurley is on a snap count. If Quinn loses another high scoring game and goes 0-4 he’s got to throw Raheem Morris to the sidewalk, right? Both Jones and Ridley were assessed as questionable but are ready to go.
Tell me something I don’t know, below.
I felt like shit at work this morning for some reason and I felt the same this weekend at times thinking about how empty my life is. But I also think maybe that’s fine and I’ve get overall pretty good for the last nine months because I like my work and because life doesn’t feel like it’s on the edge of collapse every day. Or maybe it’s knowing that I had so many chances to be in this position and it took until literally my fortieth birthday to get to this point. And somehow seeing a video with someone’s cat and a bunch of plants in their apartment broke my fucking brain because I don’t even have that. I do need to water my ledge plants. Oh well.
Enough venting. Things are fine. And my life is better than a hell of a lot of people’s lives, including people more well off than me who are losing their shit because … Whatever. Like I said. Enough venting.
It does figure Cam Newton finally has a chance to be a QB and not a human tackling dummy only to have the Rona horsecollar him (no flag, of course.).
Unsurprised, you have a good attitude, but remember that your life is also worse than a hell of lot of other people’s lives. You need to keep a balanced perspective here.
Thanks, Brick
1959 Chevys with the cats eye taillights and the fins are just too fucking cool. Full disclosure: I’m an Impala guy.
It just occurred to me that Trump surviving Covid will make MAGA so much more insufferable and the anti maskers are going to go fucking wild.
I don’t know if he’s out of the woods just yet…
This is the stupidest possible timeline. He’ll live.
I love how the dialogue and joke telling has flowed here this evening, without a shit-ton of irrelevant gifs being dumped into every thread. This is how it should be.
The games pretty much sucked, but the DFO action more than made up for that.
/
Moose, if we ever met in person we’d be best friends. As a friend, I’m just asking you to use your own discretion.
Don’t get out on the driver’s side:
Ian Roussel, Full Custom Garage, makes some pretty wild shit.
https://www.google.com/search?q=ian+roussel+cars&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjw9eC6kJ_sAhXHe60KHRn7AgIQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=ian+roussel&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQARgAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIAFCX8gRYl_IEYP6MBWgAcAB4AIABUYgBUZIBATGYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=ZPJ7X_CzB8f3tQWZ9osQ&bih=568&biw=1280
Only a show-off would drive this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJNd_HtZH2g
I propose we now post cars that Brick thinks are too flamboyant. Start with the Lamborghini Sesto Elemento.
movie also features famous coney island act prince radian, who, despite being limbless, could roll and light cigarettes with just his lips
I bet he was a hit with the ladies.
if you date one member of a conjoined twin, is the other twin still considered a third wheel?
A second wind fo sho
Damn, it looks cold in Wisconsin. Why the hell would they not want to vote from home?
I thought I read somewhere that Green Bay was a Rona “hot” spot.
That’s because they give off so much heat. Because it’s a property of size.
You don’t wanna…
Tucson:
That’s a beautiful area. My parents used to live there for a few years when my dad worked in Tucson.
The Macy’s in Tucson?
I managed a MILCON hangar construction project at the boneyard at Davis-Monthan. It could fit two KC-135s side by side and you could close the hangar doors. Also worked a big groundwater contamination cleanup at Air Force Plant 44 (Raytheon missile plant), I think it’s still ongoing. I loved working there.
Also, better Mexican food in Tucson than in Milwaukee.
brats > tacos
Politely disagree. Chorizo>brats.
Spanish chorizo > Mexican chorizo
Can’t argue that, but there’s a lot more Mexican restaurants around here than Spanish ones, so you go with what you can. And like Jake, I can’t eat that stuff anymore.
There’s no comparison. They’re both great.
oatmeal > everything else
“Those parts?” Is that the places with “those people?”
My dad bought a couple lots up in Sabino Canyon in the mid-70s when it was just being subdivided. He planned on retiring there, but circumstances changed and we ended up in SA instead. He sold the lots so he could buy a franchise at a mall here. Worked out well for him financially.
“A franchise at a mall”
That’s pretty vague. Was it a massage parlor? A Subway? A Tru-Value hardware store?
They ended up with three stores (all in malls), two in SA and one in Austin. They sold out in the late 80s just when malls were going to shit, perfect timing.
The “Nut House?” What was going on in the back room?
Hot Nuts!
Belichick can probably get you a discount card.
There used to be a small airline that flew nonstop San Antonio to Tucson, 2 hours, and with the time change you’d land at the same time you took off. Would fly there for the gem and mineral show, or to catch Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers down at the Rialto Theater or go see them down in Puerto Penasco/Rocky Point. Good times, never to return…
Thanks again, Carter, for deregulating the airlines.
“IBW” definitely sounds like a weird, new beer. It could also be anything that doesn’t surprise Buddy.
Dan Quinn and Bill O’Brien will just start their own league with blackjack and hookers.
something tells me neither of those guys indulges in very many vices
Like winning?
I was gonna post this in response to WCS, but its so long, it works better as its own comment:
so my buddy has a hilarious story about listening to pantera as a youngin, and they swear this story is true and not embellished.
my buddies dad was a huge metal fan. if that
group were heavy, then this guy listened to em.
anyways, this guy is blasting “Walk” by pantera, all hours. my buddy is maybe four years old, and had that common children’s habit of repeating song lyrics
so one day, little dude is stomping around around the house, and in the deepest voice he can muster, is singing: Respect! Walk! What did you say!? Respect! Walk!
the guys mom, not recognizing the song, asks,
“Little Davie, what are you singing?”
and with more authority than any human being in the history of existence, “little Davie” looks her dead in the eye and bellows:
“ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?!?!?!?!?!”
some guys peak in high school, this guy apparently did before kindergarten
Kid’s going to be be a literal king of somewhere.
he’s 30 with a wife and kid now. he ended up being way nerdier than his dad and bought a bunch of star wars baby clothes.
let me put it this way, I’d be willing to bet $300 he tried to talk the misses into letting him name the baby zelda. I guess she put her foot down
He can’t be that nerdy. He got laid at least once.
That’s beautiful
Man, Packers owners can’t even watch their team in person.
I can relate.
—Mark Davis
Damn Biden going hard with the AMRAP commercial!
I mean, these troops are traitors in FoxNewsLand but, in civilized America, that’s a good commercial.
Jeez, I just noticed I made two “gay” jokes in a row. I apologize, I like to keep my comedy stylings more diverse, with a mix of racist, sexist, and gay jokes spread around evenly and fairly.
This pandemic and quarantine has really hit me hard economically, so I’ve had to go out and suck a few dicks here and there to make ends meet. I can’t be blamed for that.
So I guess it’s on my mind.
So you’re the guy who’s been undercutting my prices…
Like we used to say when I was in the fleet, “It’s not gay if you’re underway.” I’m sure bubbleheads had a similar quote.
We didn’t. We were real men; we didn’t need excuses.
Neither did the Spartans
I know how you can make it up to each one of us individually.
Money talks and bullshit walks. Are you staying or going?
I’m pretty sure A.A. Ron’s career after FOOBAWL is going to be a Bond villain.
Sure isnt going to be family therapist
1930 Ford Model A. The most perfect automobile ever. No one denies this.
I mean, Jews, probably.
*writes angry letter to the editor of the Dearborn Independent.*
This was Edsel Ford’s creation, not his by-then crazy yet powerful father. Henry Ford took all the credit though and destroyed Edsel at every turn. He basically killed his only son (just like God).
Rebuttal:
404: not found, dammit.
Yeah, I needed to throw up a second pic in the edit.
Got it this time.
I don’t know how gay you have to be to drive this car, but it has to be pretty gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
You had to really pay attention when driving it. Fuck mechanical brakes.
The Model A or the Mussolini car?
Model A. The other was over the budget..
My dad bought one of these in 1980. He never drove it, but I did. Got as many looks and thumbs up as the 1964 Corvette roadster he and I restored.
month of macabre continues, day 5
freaks is downright a cool film. filmed with actual sideshow workers, it was a lost film for many years due to its grotesqueness.
despite an upswing in popularity due to rereleases the 60s and 70s, it still hasn’t achieved a significant status outside of the most dedicated horror fans
I remember it was a big deal when the VHS became available at the rental store.
I know I’m asking a lot, but, you got a time frame or year for me? i only found out about it like 5 years ago
Without doing a bunch of internet searches, I’m thinking late 1980s. Other high-demand unobtainables were Faces of Death and the original Heavy Metal movie.
Early 80s
I’ll defer to your estimate. I was haze gray and underway out of Yokosuka and Guam from 82-85 and missed a lot of popular culture as a result of being on the other side of the world.
My sea duty was the exact same time, 82-85. North Atlantic and Arctic, out of Charleston SC and Kings Bay GA (the latter was under construction from scratch at the time – the locale was straight out of “Dukes of Hazard”)
I didn’t come back to the States the whole time I was in the fleet. Took my leave in places like Philippines, Thailand, Australia instead of coming back to the place I knew I would spend the rest of my life after I got out, figured I’d take advantage of being over there. So, no exposure to US culture for three years…
SA Spurs’ David Robinson served at King’s Bay after Annapolis, IIRC.
oooh faces of death. haven’t thought of that franchise in a long timdy
Those were huge and legendary in the 80s.
Looks like I’m going to lose by 30 with the second highest score in DFOball this week
Hate to see it.
US Soccer needs to adopt relegation, but that’s a different argument for a different day
Yep, the USL is big enough to accommodate promotion.
I can’t find this game on my broadcast TV set-up. You people aren’t paying to watch the NFL, are you?
It’s on this newfangled TV channel called ESPN and I’m supporting it because I want it to have a fair chance.
It’ll never last. I get my sports in the newspaper like any god fearin soul.
I have to admit that when fucking Berman did the “he..could…go…all…the…way” call for OBJ’s dagger TD during the halftime highlights tonigh, I got a little nostalgic for the 1980s. I was a lot younger then and not so physically decrepit.
So was Berman.
*Limps out to kitchen to pour another scotch*
*sighs*
Yep,
I used to work for ESPN’s parent company. We always considered it the “gay step-child.”
You were a Mouseketeer???? KNEW IT.
Did you get to bang Annette Funicello?
Of course I did. Miley Cyrus too, when she was 14. Perks of the job.
Are you Jeffrey Epstein, Roman Polanski, Mark Chmura, or Donald Trump?
I’m paying in brain cells.
My three-year-old recognizes Pantera by name.
DAD MUSIC ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
Nice!
Can he imitate Dimebag Darrell at his last concert?
*She
And, I hope not.
Sorry, it’s 2020 and I assumed Pantera Fan was a boy.
SHAME.
Your girl is cool and I salute her.
Easy mistake to make. Like, how many chicks at your average Rush concert?
Never noticed because I was there FOR THE MUSIC.
(Zero. The answer is zero.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq3yjfoorsU&ab_channel=FunnyOrDie
I HAVE SEEN RUSH FOUR TIMES
One more time than I have.
NERD!!!
Oh, just blame her dad. Everyone else does.
Raising a gear-head, et\h?
?w=1000
It’s Sexy Friday already?
Throw it to Shepherd
Won’t the defense flock to him?
That’s a baaaaah-d joke.
My old man likes the spicy, he’ll throw a half of a habanero into an olive jar for a week to pep up his martini olive.
Sorry, just got here.
The Colts D is a thing?
Ask Mr Hands’ colon
We’re sorry you got here too but whadda ya gonna do?
Wait, are you saying…oh
I forgot baseball was still happening. It doesn’t… matter, right?
Not since the 50s, I think
FUCK YEAH GIANCARLO
When the waiter at the local Olive Garden refills the breadsticks.
I’ve switched to playing Civ with the game as audio. Turns out playing Ethiopia with the Voidslingers and Dramatic Ages mode is totally fun
Scotland still has the best soundtrack.
I’m happy they rotate through instead of just playing your civ’s theme the whole time
Civ VI?
Yep, with all the DLC
Nice
If you spray the Ethiopians with poison gas from airplanes, does the League of Nations turn a blind eye, even after Haile Selassie pleads for that organization to condemn Mussolini for his aggression?
That might be the next DLC
Getting your ass kicked by Mussolini and the Italians is proof-positive that you are a Third World Country.
“Shitholes never win against white people, even if those white people are a bunch of guidos, guineas, wops, and dagoes.”
—Emperor Trump
Everybody else (including the North Africans) kicked the shit out of Mussolini, even his own people. Also, Italians are only marginally white if you choose to play the race card.
(Kinison voice)
Just tell them to go where the food is!
BDH with the insurance run. Now slightly easier breathing. Only slightly.
Didn’t realize Big Dick Harold was playing baseball.
Nice of the TBS crew to continue butchering players’ names. Granted, most people in Tampa probably don’t know who most of the Rays are.
Tampa Bay Reyes.
Just once, I want a coach that beats the Falcons at home to say “We came here to finish what Sherman started” in the post-game press conference.
“We’re not leaving without Ted Turner’s bloated corpse and the secret recipe for Coke.”
I know I tuned in late, but what’s up with the abomination that is the Green Bay tie dye hat?
I like it better than the pink ones
Yeah but you’re a Packer fan so your taste is terrible
We had to accept a bad taste in hats in hats to make up for our good taste in football teams.
No
Lol, you’re right, it didn’t cost us anything, and it’s still an option for you. libera te tutemet ex inferishttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJAFuEuBqsE
The only way that could be more Wisconsin would be if it were made of butter.
Does buttercream count?
Is it still a shootout if only one side does most of the shooting?
Fucking Ay!
—Charles Whitman.
“Yes, absolutely.”
-Philadelphia PD.
This is why I come here, instant police brutality and mass murder references. It feels like slipping into a jacuzzi that feels too hot at first, but then becomes super relaxing.
— white Los Angeles Police officers, circa 1991
Or now.
BOMBS AWAY
Well at least Atlanta’s used to one sided shootings by now.
Commit defensive holding, and still let the guy open by 15 yards? Yeah, cancel the Falcons. Jeez.
Julio ded.
As an asthmatic and having smoked a pack of Marlboro a day for 25+ years, I give faith: the Trump breathing videos are DEEEElightful..
A friend of mine said he looked like a hungover server trying to make it through a brunch shift
I have lived that hell way too many times in my life. Brunch is the worst, and when you are hungover it’s suicidal.
Marlboro Red or 100’s?
Red. Didn’t like the 100s. Too long. The huge box also cramps every pocket. I boycotted so many stores that carried 100 but not Reds.
I was always a 100s guy, pocket size never was an issue. 15% more tobacco for the same price!
Could i trouble you for a link, good sir?
No trouble at all
https://twitter.com/brenonade/status/1313256208363552769?s=21
Nail…
oh, you know.
–B. Walsh
“Go on…” -Andy R., Kansas City, MO
Black on white miscegenation makes me mad!
—Proud Boiz
PRAISE SHA’NKLOR
I am not sure what is going on here, but I’m absolutely certain that Hippo disapproves.
Trump reportedly was having trouble breathing when he returned to the WH from Walter Reed. I’m sure they will set him up with a proper apparatus.
It wouldn’t help, but they can always do one of those emergency tracheotomies with a ball point pen
They should just go ahead and let that quack doctor do it.
Ok I hope everyone had a successful and productive NHL Draft dry run tonight, the real thing is tomorrow! Let’s not have a repeat of last year…
It’s a Xenomorph… it’s a pet…
That’s what I was thinking, but pink for girls.
Popples!
I’m suprised that Bagels,son isn’t on the Chiefs
Congratulations mister crenell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA39r2xXmwk
One of those Antifa riot squad soup cans that the Prez warned us about.
Beefaroni, I bet. Very versatile.
Dangerous too.
I remember this, it was during the protests right after Trump was elected