SURPRISE REQUEST LINE: Just Breathe

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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— The scene: The DFO clubhouse, present day. The gang is seated around a large…table type arrangement that consists of the felt part of a pool table balanced on top of several stacks of cinderblocks.  A set of various markings from a craps table have been crudely drawn on its surface, but the gang is currently using the table to play a version of poker known as Holdup Hold ‘Em.  A Luger pistol sits on the table in front of RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY.  As we watch he picks it up and points it at SHARKBAIT.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Gimme all your nines.

SHARKBAIT: [clicks claws in alarm]

YEAH RIGHT: How many times are we going to have to tell you, Rikki, that’s not how this game works.

BRETT FAVRE’S COLONOSCOPY: Thank God there aren’t any bullets in that thing.

SON OF SPAM: That’s what happens when you try to lowball a seller e-Bay.  You miss your chance.

CUNTLER: Speaking of lowball…

YEAH RIGHT: Oh, did you want to switch up the game?

CUNTLER: Huh?  Oh, no, Holdup Hold ‘Em is fine, but I was thinking maybe we could play for real money instead of…

BEERGUYROB: [cracks open a fresh beer] AND BEERGUYROB IS BACK IN THE GAME!

CUNTLER: …using beer can tabs as chips.  You know, have some actual skin in the game…

— Cut to: the office of the doctor who performed lap band surgery on Rex Ryan

DOCTOR: [looks like a ghost walked over his grave]

— Cut to: DFO Clubhouse

CUNTLER: …play for actual stakes, you know?  Every time someone busts out now they just drink another beer and they’re right back in.

SON OF SPAM: Alcohol poisoning is a very real thing.  It’s like, life-and-death stakes.

BRETT FAVRE’S COLONOSCOPY: Besides, does anyone here have any actual money?

YEAH RIGHT: I had some but it’s tied up in a deposit on a beach house.  The place used to belong to the Ambassador from Nigeria and the deal sounded too good to be true so I had to move on it really fast.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: I gave all of mine to the Losers Investment Club.

BEERGUYROB: I don’t have any right now but [glances at the large pile of aluminum cans surrounding his chair] a quick trip to the recycling center can solve that.

CUNTLER: Oh, forget it.  I was actually thinking we should play some music.

SON OF SPAM: What does the word “lowball” have to do with music?

CUNTLER: It’s a band that I like.

YEAH RIGHT: Oh, I’ve seen them.  They opened up for Pennyweather back at the Troubadour in ’93.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Well how about an impromptu edition of Request Line?

ENSEMBLE: Sure…sounds fun…let’s do it…

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Only what should we do as a topic? [realizes he is still pointing the pistol at Sharkbait, lowers it]

SHARKBAIT: [resumes breathing]

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Hey, I like it!  Let’s do it!  I’ll get us started.

Nothing complex about today’s Request Line.  Today’s theme is: Breath.  We’re looking for any and all songs about the act of breathing, coughing, gasping, etc.  Since this is a SURPRISE REQUEST LINE feel free to go wild with band names, album titles, etc.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noPuzzleThisWeek” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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ThurberHerder

On a family vacation to Florida, our rental Jeep came with one CD, Telepopmusik

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDz2Xk-LRN0

SonOfSpam

Oh, and Rush was nice enough to do an instrumental about Trump.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpe5SRJQ224

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s almost too good

SonOfSpam

RIP to one of the baddest to ever do it.

And in the White House, Trump is the

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sdF4T09Gy8

Cuntler
Cuntler

And the lyrics of this song could be about Trump’s and Epstein’s “good times”.

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
Viva La Tabula Raza

I fucking hate when I get to these late and all the ones I think of have already been posted.

Will at least post a tribute to EVH, even though it’s off topic. Man, when this album came out it fucking changed rock and roll overnight. 2020 isn’t through with us yet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCwigPhpiXs

Last edited 1 month ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

On topic, I’m sure there will be a new song about breath shortly, featuring the president on the Truman Balcony.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[unexpected boner]

scotchnaut

“Having trouble breathing” is right there in the first verse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zctYSq1fSWc&ab_channel=CarSeatHeadrest-Topic

Last edited 1 month ago by scotchnaut