Latest posts by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (see all)

— The scene: The DFO clubhouse, present day. The gang is seated around a large…table type arrangement that consists of the felt part of a pool table balanced on top of several stacks of cinderblocks.  A set of various markings from a craps table have been crudely drawn on its surface, but the gang is currently using the table to play a version of poker known as Holdup Hold ‘Em.  A Luger pistol sits on the table in front of RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY.  As we watch he picks it up and points it at SHARKBAIT.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Gimme all your nines.

SHARKBAIT: [clicks claws in alarm]

YEAH RIGHT: How many times are we going to have to tell you, Rikki, that’s not how this game works.

BRETT FAVRE’S COLONOSCOPY: Thank God there aren’t any bullets in that thing.

SON OF SPAM: That’s what happens when you try to lowball a seller e-Bay.  You miss your chance.

CUNTLER: Speaking of lowball…

YEAH RIGHT: Oh, did you want to switch up the game?

CUNTLER: Huh?  Oh, no, Holdup Hold ‘Em is fine, but I was thinking maybe we could play for real money instead of…


CUNTLER: …using beer can tabs as chips.  You know, have some actual skin in the game…

— Cut to: the office of the doctor who performed lap band surgery on Rex Ryan

DOCTOR: [looks like a ghost walked over his grave]

— Cut to: DFO Clubhouse

CUNTLER: …play for actual stakes, you know?  Every time someone busts out now they just drink another beer and they’re right back in.

SON OF SPAM: Alcohol poisoning is a very real thing.  It’s like, life-and-death stakes.

BRETT FAVRE’S COLONOSCOPY: Besides, does anyone here have any actual money?

YEAH RIGHT: I had some but it’s tied up in a deposit on a beach house.  The place used to belong to the Ambassador from Nigeria and the deal sounded too good to be true so I had to move on it really fast.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: I gave all of mine to the Losers Investment Club.

BEERGUYROB: I don’t have any right now but [glances at the large pile of aluminum cans surrounding his chair] a quick trip to the recycling center can solve that.

CUNTLER: Oh, forget it.  I was actually thinking we should play some music.

SON OF SPAM: What does the word “lowball” have to do with music?

CUNTLER: It’s a band that I like.

YEAH RIGHT: Oh, I’ve seen them.  They opened up for Pennyweather back at the Troubadour in ’93.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Well how about an impromptu edition of Request Line?

ENSEMBLE: Sure…sounds fun…let’s do it…

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Only what should we do as a topic? [realizes he is still pointing the pistol at Sharkbait, lowers it]

SHARKBAIT: [resumes breathing]

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Hey, I like it!  Let’s do it!  I’ll get us started.

Nothing complex about today’s Request Line.  Today’s theme is: Breath.  We’re looking for any and all songs about the act of breathing, coughing, gasping, etc.  Since this is a SURPRISE REQUEST LINE feel free to go wild with band names, album titles, etc.  Post links as “” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.

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Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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On a family vacation to Florida, our rental Jeep came with one CD, Telepopmusik


Oh, and Rush was nice enough to do an instrumental about Trump.


That’s almost too good


RIP to one of the baddest to ever do it.

And in the White House, Trump is the


And the lyrics of this song could be about Trump’s and Epstein’s “good times”.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I fucking hate when I get to these late and all the ones I think of have already been posted.

Will at least post a tribute to EVH, even though it’s off topic. Man, when this album came out it fucking changed rock and roll overnight. 2020 isn’t through with us yet.

Last edited 1 month ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

On topic, I’m sure there will be a new song about breath shortly, featuring the president on the Truman Balcony.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[unexpected boner]


“Having trouble breathing” is right there in the first verse.

Last edited 1 month ago by scotchnaut