Your “Heroes Come, Heroes Go; Legends Last” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

NFL Nuggets:

  • Your NFL COVID updates:
    • The Titans have had zero positive COVID-19 tests for a second straight day.
    • The NFL updated their testing protocol language Monday, threatening forfeiture of games “if a team cannot participate due to COVID-19 spread coming as a result of not following protocol”.
      • This is in response to people like Jon Gruden being warned & possibly fined again for failure to adhere to the NFL’s mask policy.
    • Cam Newton was asymptomatic as of Monday, meaning he could possibly play as early as this weekend.
      • This means that if he tests negative for COVID-19 twice, and those two tests are at least 24 hours apart, league rules would permit him to return for Sunday’s game against the Broncos.
        • Unless they trust Brian Hoyer or Jarrett Stidham enough to take on Denver.

  • Attendance policy updates:
    • Ohio will let up to 12,000 fans attend games in both Cleveland & Cincinnati.
      • According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, the variances are allowed based on several expectations including:
        • Additional seating sections and concourse walkways will be opened to accommodate more spectators while ensuring that six-foot social distancing protocols are maintained.
        • Spectators will be directed to enter the stadium using the designated entrance that is closest to their assigned seat.
        • Spectators will be grouped in “pods” of two to four people with no grouping larger than six individuals who are all members of the same party/group.
        • Operating standards and plans outlined in the original Cincinnati Bengals Responsible Restart Plan will be followed.
      • The Browns had 6,000 for their game against the Bengals two weeks ago.
    • Pennsylvania will allow large gathering spaces & venues with over 10,000 seats 15% capacity or up to 7500 people starting this Friday.
      • This will apply to both indoor & outdoor gatherings.
      • The first game to see this is the Eagles at Steelers this Sunday.

So, Dean Spanos can sit on a rusty fencepost.

YOU ARE NOT LA, BITCH! I believe this might be the definition of “poseur”.

I realize not many people around these parts are particularly fond of baseball, but I’d like to think that we can come together in these troubled times to

  1. Hate on Dean Spanos, and
  2. Hate on the Dodgers

Because bad people do not deserve nice things, and Dean Spanos is just the worst.


In other news, GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT!

This is a crushing blow to my childhood. I listened to Rush; I loved Van Halen. I risked getting extra time on my Young Offender sentence by trying to sneak out of the “school” I was at to try & see the “1984” tour when it went through Vancouver. I did manage to see Van Hagar on their first tour & the later versions of OG Van Halen. But nothing will ever match the enthusiasm I had for the Van Halen of my youth.

Rolling Stone has the most comprehensive obituary, so I’ll link to that here, and a discussion of his twenty chronologically greatest guitar solos here. Obviously, feel free to make your own list.

Since I dropped “Hot For Teacher” into the Request Line, I leave you with the national anthem of Panama,

and the best SNL skit to use a Van Halen song. The versions on NBC & YouTube have replaced the original music with generic due to copyright issues.

RIP.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NBA:
    • Lakers vs. Heat – 9:00PM | ABC / TSN
      • Game 4 – Lakers lead 2-1
  • MLB Divisional Playoffs:
    • New York @ Tampa Bay – Game 2 – 8:00PM | TBS / Sportsnet1
    • San Diego @ Los Angeles – Game 1 – 9:30PM | FS1 / Sportsnet360
  • WNBA Playoff:
    • Game 3: Las Vegas Aces vs. Seattle Storm – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
  • NHL:
    • Draft – 7:00PM | NHLN / Sportsnet

Holy hell – 2020 can fucking end any time now.

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Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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This guy; he heats up some canned spaghetti, cracks open a bottle of champagne, and SMASHES SOME PUSSY!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The puritanical guilt of nose orgasms.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Wouldn’t those more properly be termed “Nose-gasms?”
—Cyrano de Bergerac

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He was not one to shorten speech, but during the process he can’t talk anyway.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I work for the US Air Force, managing renovation projects at AF bases nationwide. I have been working from home since mid-December, and my brain feels like a canned stewed tomato. I’m trying to do my job conscientiously and consider myself a “patriot” (in the good non-hateful way), I have been in and around the US military for 80% of my 60+ years; as a dependent for my first 18 years, an active duty service member, and for the last 22+ years as an engineer for the AF Civil Engineer. It’s gotten to the point where I awaken at 3 AM and stare at the ceiling thinking about all the shit I need to get done until I finally drag my ass out of bed at 5 AM. Then I look at the news and think “What the fuck is the point of worrying about that hangar upgrade project at Holloman AFB in New Mexico if we are going to be in a civil war here in another month? Am I going to be gunned down by Boogaloo Boyz on November 4th?” Some days are better than others, got a lot done today but didn’t do shit yesterday. What the fuck is going to happen in the next few months? As much as I would like to look at things through rose-colored glasses, I am not optimistic about our future, and I am glad I don’t have any children or grand-kids that are going to have to live in Mad Max world. I feel bad for my “nephews” (children of my cousins) and their offspring.
I know some of you hate these doom and gloom comments (sorry Unsurprised), and I apologize, but this is one of the few places I feel I can vent without suffering too many slings and arrows.
Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can’t worry about all that shit that is out of your control. You can’t dwell on the worst possible outcomes of that shit you can’t control. I know because I am doing just that and not living as well as I could or should, it is not entirely selfish to help yourself along with the others. If shit goes down you’ve just wasted a bunch of time worrying and it happened anyway, likewise if it turns out for the better.

Now here is a C-movie GIF.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That said; vent as much as you fucking want.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Thanks amigo. This site helps me keep at least a modicum of sanity, if only cause I can be a whiny asshole here without many repercussions.

Bedtime.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I will GIF post to the death your right to complain about the world we are handing over.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I saw this movie in the theater back when it came out. James Franciscus for the win!

yeah right

I have both daughters and granddaughters and it’s really hard to talk about this. Two weeks ago when I gave the family photos and heirlooms and shit to the next generation, I got down in one knee, and if you know me my doctor wholeheartedly advised against doing this, and apologized to my eldest granddaughter for gifting her this unbelievably fucked up planet. She accepted but knew it was a massive fuck up. What options did she have?

Goddamnit kids of tomorrow. I tried. I really fucking tried!

Viva La Tabula Raza

As a 1959-born boomer, I feel really guilty about the shit sandwich we have left for later and future generations. I was talking to the physical therapist i am seeing for my foot surgery recuperation; younger Hispanic guy with three kids, and he’s got the worries about the world his kids are going to have to live in. Very hard to be optimistic in our conversations. I jokingly told him to show his kids the Mad Max movies as training for their future. I also told him to watch Stop Making Sense Talking Heads movie to get his head beyond current headlines for 90 minutes, he was down with it.
FUCK THIS TIMELINE!

TheRevanchist

You need to find something to lift your spirits. I listen to 80’s music blasting through my headphones when the stress just gets too much. Sometimes, it’s just a good naughty session with the Mrs or whatever appendage is attached to the wrist. Crafts, like painting or latch-hook rugs. Anything you can accomplish and that elevates you.

When we are young, every little thing is a new adventure. We lose that as we mature, and things feel stale and static and like life isn’t moving.

Maybe I’m oversimplifying, but it might make you feel better and take away some of that anxiety?

yeah right

As an Angelino for going on 30 years, fuck the Dodgers. Go Padres.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Those bastards just moved from Brooklyn anyway.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Brooklyn? Fucking hipsters.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For sure, look at them fuckers:

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Sorry, boys, but if you have one of them Jesus Fish or some kind of bible quote in your ads, you will never get my business. Why not? Because I know you will fuck me over and be able to repent your sins on your deathbed and still get into your heaven.

Unsurprised

That’s what they think. Suckers.

Don T

Jesus fish in car = bastard in traffic
Never
Fails

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HAHAHA! Similar to the Mercedes logo.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Hey, your BMW needs blinker fluid!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Driving here in the mountains it also includes the three circles.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Four circles, the one I was talking about apparently was in an accident.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I Auda forgive you for that one, no problem.

Dunstan

Love watching a manager and umpire arguing face to face, only halfway through remembering that maybe they should put a mask on.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Especially the kissing part.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Yes, and???

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The didn’t approve of bird lesbos back in the 80s.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Everyone has their own kink.

Don T

Why I advocate escapism
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

JESUS FUCKING HERBERT CHRIST!

I thought that was an Onion thing, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Don T

It’s…
/hands clench

TheRevanchist

I mean, he did throw some paper towels around. That’s a true symbol of love.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll wait till Don T weighs in.

Don T

It’s beyond analysis. Context helps. The Guv lost a primary, is the lamest of ducks, and is an extremely spiteful person. With the resources, she would out-Nero 45.

Last edited 3 months ago by Don T
Viva La Tabula Raza

At least you don’t have to live in Texas.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Isn’t it pobody’s nerfect?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“No time to explain! Get the milk and get in the truck!”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Leave the GunTake the Cannoli.

Senor Weaselo

CB Bucknor did his best Worker & Parasite impersonation in the top of the 9th, because that call to Torres… what the hell was that?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

How do you make Angel Hernandez look competent?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s bit dark, pretty sure he’s just having a bad night or the skills are declining….. or he has a hidden injury.

Viva La Tabula Raza

At least he saved some dry cleaning charges by wearing the plastic suit.

Unsurprised

Whomst amongst us hasn’t dreamed of murdering Jared Leto with an ax? His best role was getting his face smashed in by Ed Norton in fight club

Unsurprised

Diablo Garcia?

Brocky

month of macabre continues:

tales from the hood (1995)

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another underrated gem, this film continues to explore the idea of intercity horror that was started by candyman.

the film presents 4 stories as segments, framed by an eccentric funeral director (played wonderfully by clarence Williams III) who shows some gang members how some of his “customers” came to be

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Last edited 3 months ago by Brocky
Viva La Tabula Raza

Mod Squad Afro for the win!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Missed it by that much!

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Viva La Tabula Raza

three way with agent 99 in the near future?
hummina hummina hummina

Don T

”Hey baby. What say we test the Cone of Silence?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s not 99, but I don’t think Smart care it is a K.A.O.S. honeypot trap or not.

yeah right

That’s the second time this week!

Viva La Tabula Raza

My last name is Siegfried (for real), and I don’t shoosh around here.comment image

Last edited 3 months ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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Don T

This made my week. Top it, Universe. You have 4 days.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

(Anytime my kids ask me for advise.)

Viva La Tabula Raza

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ted Lasso is a goddamn treasure.

It’s like the anti-Goodell

SonOfSpam

Lakers won, so you can all breathe easy.

Unless you work in the White House, of course.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

I dont care if this ticks off the “old folks” this is one of my favorite van Halen memories:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrRy06k2keA

SonOfSpam

As an old folk, this was a fun movie and Panama absolutely fucking cooks, so I am not ticked off.

“…this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m ticked off, but I do not remember what at.

Brocky

god

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It can’t be that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh yeah, CTE.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You fucking kids git offa mah lawn!

SonOfSpam

Anyone watching the Lakers?

/ducks

Sharkbait

The what now?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is George Mikan still dead?

SonOfSpam

No. Shoulda watched.

yeah right

Yep. And damn glad they won. Good for the city, good precursor.

Last edited 3 months ago by yeah right