Your “Completely Hobo-Free” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Look, it was about time they got a break and besides, as a literary genre it is a bit self-limiting, don’t cha think? Also, it’s Thanksgiving and we are supposed to think about the less fortunate. Or was that Arbour Day? I get things mixed up here and there. Fear not, we’ll have some ‘psychopath on hobo action’ soon enough but for now we’ll have to content ourselves with the last game of the night on offer.

TO THE GAME!

Vikes/Seahawks:

-Give Brian Shottenheimer some credit for adjusting the Seahawks offensive identity. That ‘we will run you into the ground’ mentality was wearing a bit thin and became increasingly easy to game plan for. (it also made my ‘no-brainer’ Chris Carson pick-you know he’s going to get all kinds of touches if he’s healthy-look a bit sillier than I’d thought).

-Yeah, the team that ran the 9th-most run plays last year has now dropped all the way to 22nd.

-Vastly under-appreciated qb Wilson took the task to heart and has responded with a performance through the first quarter of the season that not many saw coming. Will he cook for Zeke? The question remains unanswered.

-Speaking of qb’s, what’s up with Kirkie? His PFF passing grade thru the first three quarters of each game is 66.5 but then he revs it up to 87.1 in the fourth. It’s attributed to the team having to play catchup but there’s something else going on as well.

-That thing is that he leads the league in average depth of target at 12.1, meaning he makes his longer strikes count but they come in the last 12 minutes of the game. Maybe do something earlier, guy who draws up the plays?

Do what you do best, just try to not get it on your monitor.

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Gumbygirl

Huge crowds in LA because the Lakers won. Exactly the wrong thing to do, but not unexpected.

Unsurprised

“But it’s outside”

WCS

You know what I like about FOOBAWL? I’m a Star Wars nerd, a Legend of Zelda geek, an ancient Egyptian freak. I’m also a Yinzer, and I can sit and enjoy some drinks and games with the likes of yinz.

I fucking love it.

King Hippo

Yes, it is similar (with different NEEERRRRRRDDDD hobbies) for me – one of the few points of commonality I have with the quasi-normals. FITBAW IS FAMILY

WCS

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Dunstan

*missed most of today’s games*
*looks at scores*

Are the Raiders… good? Or did the Chiefs just lay a steaming turd?

Unsurprised

Turd

Dunstan

Ah, good. I don’t think I’m ready for a world where the Raiders are good again.

Joliet Jake Delhomme
Joliet Jake Delhomme

So, the Cowboys tank the rest of the season to draft a new QB. Dak is released at the end of the season and signs on for a Cam Newton contract after he is healed?

Doktor Zymm

As long as he isn’t desperate enough to sign with another NFC East team I think he’ll be A-ok

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure it would be desperation so much as spite, for which I would not blame him.

Unsurprised

Cam already played for one crazy fucking Southern racist shitheel.

TheRevanchist

They can make the playoffs with that backup.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Andy Dalton is the best quarterback in the NFC Least.

Sad but true.

Horatio Cornblower

This may very well be true.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

They can tank and also win the NFC East.

King Hippo

Back to the maths – kicking the FG ain’t 100% either, especially in the rain. You could get it blocked, have a bad snap. Then, maybe you lose the extreme field position advantage.

Unsurprised

Laces out

ballsofsteelandfury

No way. You’re just rationalizing it now.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I harbor no ill will towards either team and don’t care who won, but must say that MIN really shot themselves in the dick.

Recovery Whiskey

Seattle should’ve lost by at least 14.

King Hippo

It’s the best way for Dingleberry to lose. I LIKE THAT!

Gumbygirl

“I’m wet. I’m tired. It’s over.” The ref.

Doktor Zymm

“I’m taking my ball and going home”

Horatio Cornblower

Debatable replay call, but there was no chance Capt. Kirk was doing anything with another 5 seconds.

WCS

That’s where you’re wrong. He’d throw an interception.

King Hippo

possibly fumble the snap

Horatio Cornblower

Both of you make excellent points. I concede my error, yield the floor, and turn my full attention to this full beer that has mysteriously appeared before me.

King Hippo

BLACK JEEBUS >>> WHITE JEEBUS, I guess

Viva La Tabula Raza

Jeesus died for somebody’s sins, but not mine…”
—Patti Smith

Doktor Zymm

Most annoying thing, now every idiot will question the decision not to kick the FG. Also, small unsupervised children are running amok in the courtyard of my apartment building.

King Hippo

A small “risk” to go from 94% to 100% is a no-brainer, when your “floor” is 85%

Gumbygirl

Boil some water.

Unsurprised

Their parents are on Facebook, so really this is your own fault.

Recovery Whiskey

Referee tired of the rain.

WCS

TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS

Recovery Whiskey

HOME COOKING

King Hippo

how empty is thine hand, Dingleberry??

King Hippo

Yes, give us a nice 5-minute VAR now.

King Hippo

SeaTruthers have to not shit their pants for one, maybe two defensive plays still.

Doktor Zymm

Crazy bananas

JimU

I think that TD just broke Drew.

WCS

His brain did that two years ago.

JimU

You got a point.

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rockingdog
King Hippo

Holy shit, same guy dropped the bunny…then made THAT grab.

Horatio Cornblower

DK Metcalf is an absolute beast, and I cannot believe he fell to the 2nd round.

Recovery Whiskey

Ran a bad combine. Word was he couldn’t cut

Horatio Cornblower

The combine is so over-rated. Ask Mike Mamula.

King Hippo

THIS CHAAAAARRRRRMING MAAAAANNNNN!!!

Gumbygirl

There it is.

rockingdog

they should have run it on 3rd down

Horatio Cornblower

How was there no challenge on that non-TD?

King Hippo

I would have run it on 3rd down. Chaos is your friend.

Horatio Cornblower

That and Carson had a 29-yard TD run through the entire Minny defense earlier.

Recovery Whiskey

DK fingers

Horatio Cornblower

OH MY GOD WE HAVE ANOTHER ‘TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!’ MOMENT HERE!!!

Recovery Whiskey

Touchdown Seahawks

Mr. Ayo

That’s definitely a TD

King Hippo

So bad that SEA had to start worrying about leaving too much time on the clock

King Hippo

This is some ridiculous defensing. Poor yeah right.

King Hippo

OK, you can work middle of the pitch NOW

Horatio Cornblower

Me: I cannot get enough of watching Wilson fuck up. Sanctimonious prick.

/Wilson converts a 4th and 10 to Metcalf

Me: Ah. Well. Nevertheless.

Unsurprised

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WCS

I have no idea what’s happening here, but, I wouldn’t mind being there.

Unsurprised

I think that may be an off-brand Dancing Bear, for one thing.

Horatio Cornblower

here ya go…

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Any time I can get AT&T Lily boob, I am on board.

Doktor Zymm

I am disappoint no safety

King Hippo

We lost a “two safety” game thanks to JV VAR last night. Cowbells would have finished with 4 points total instead of 2.

Horatio Cornblower

A “two-safety game” is what I called it when I put on two condoms before sexing a beautiful yet questionable woman I had picked up in college.

Just kidding. It’s when I use two socks to masturbate so as not to leave a mess. I’m so lonely.

WCS

Well, that was interesting.

King Hippo

Even if you miss the 4th down play, you give them the ball at the 5. That is more of a maths benefit than going up 8.

King Hippo

/plus I REALLY DON’T WANT TO SIT THROUGH OT

Viva La Tabula Raza

Minny came to play tonight…

Recovery Whiskey

That makes one of them

Doktor Zymm

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Unsurprised

Oh, that reminds me. I wanted to make some Quotables gifs when I was sans laptop.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, looks like that sneaky professor Jesus has dropped another pop quiz on dealing with adversity on ol’ Russ!

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Dude …