Your “Hold Your Nose, Keep Your Eyes Peeled” Sunday Later Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Gotta love it when the 4 o’clock game is a stinker but it involves your team. I have you all (mostly) to myself. And if I could borrow from Hippo’s London football vernacular-“IT’S MANDATORY VIEWING!” But if it’s a nice fall day (parts of Texas excluded) take advantage of it, there may not be more of them available.

TO THE GAMES!

Fins/Niners:

Is San Franny committed to the run? They’ve only thrown to wr’s 53 times in four games. If anyone should be making that dumb ‘feed me’ gesture it should be Peabo Bryson, Bourne, Aiyuk and those others dudes. Kittles will always get his but the Fins have only given up 116 yards to that spot. That said, they’ve not seen anyone near the caliber of Boy George so this is the first real test.

Colts/Browns:

Stefanski has become a fan of rollouts-after not calling any the first week he’s dialed up 14 so far and Mayfield has turned it into a signature play. He’s 13-14 for 158 yards and 2 TD’s on the play-look for more today. It’ll be interesting to see how the Browns will handle an Indy D after rolling up 49 points on the Cowboys last week. The Colts defend outside the numbers very well so maybe look for crossers, pick plays and such.

Giants/Cowboys:

The Giants hoped that the drafting of Andrew Thomas would be a ‘plug, play and forget about it’ scenario but the big dude is struggling just like everyone else on the line. Accustomed to being larger and more physically talented than his opponent, Thomas has discovered that shoddy technique gets exploited when you play the best of the best. If the Giants aren’t able to put up some scores (they haven’t gotten a TD in their last 2 games) vs. a Dallas D that generates pressure only 27% of the time when they rush the passer, it’ll be a long year indeed. Can’t help but think the Cowboys smash here.

Feel free to comment on the awfulness provided.

 

4.8 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
413 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Horatio Cornblower

I was just picking up dinner and they had Red Zone on and I see that Dak has taken the first step towards overcoming a crippling addiction to painkillers by suffering a crippling injury for which he will be overprescribed painkillers.

Yay.

King Hippo

I would much rather be DAK!s opium Eskimo Brother, rather than #NuAIDS/Trump

bk109

Uh, who mentioned picking the Tomsulas for his survival pool? Hippo orrrrr?

King Hippo

yup, but I also ML bet the Fish.

bk109

That’s what I thouugh – betting a grand on Miami (and a hundred on Janeane getting benched) was inspired by your faith in the Tomsulas 😀

litre_cola

Those shoes are a marvel of engineering.

Redshirt

Wherever they are.

Gumbygirl

Derp!

Doktor Zymm

Welp, there goes the only likeable thing about the Cowboys. I’m gonna go back to unmitigated hatred unless they do right by Dak

litre_cola

I see we are on the same side of the fence.

bk109

I think I’m gonna be the contrarian on this one, gents… There’s NO likeable thing about the Cowboys… it just takes a bit longer for the “HOW BOUT DEM COWBOYS” symptoms (or rap sheet) starts gettin’ attention

Brocky

fucking jerry jones is so unlikable its actually messing with my ability to enjoy cowboys schaudenfreude

blaxabbath

#wouldpen

JustStopDude

Why it have to be Dak? He is such a likeable guy.

I was really looking forward to Jerry overpaying him gobs of cash because JJ is an idiot.

King Hippo

Because 2020

hippofant

Fucking Jerrah’s gonna gloat about not paying Dak now. You know it’s gonna happen. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day, it’s gonna come out kinda subtle like, he’s gonna call out all the people who said they should have paid Dak and see they were wrong and Jerrah knew that cuz he’s a football guy and this is just the sport of football and all those people yelling PAY DAK just don’t know much about football.

Gratliff

Jesus, him getting carted off is the saddest injury thing I’ve seen in a long time

blaxabbath

Should have walked it off like a man.

Game Time Decision

I hope he get some good care and is able to walk again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Why is ‘Damn, Dak’ trending on twitter?” – me, twenty seconds ago (pre-nausea)

Sharkbait

And it keeps Jenny McCarthy relevant.

Mr. Ayo

FLOAT SAFETY!

Redshirt

That safety from the Safety Gods was dedicated to DAK!

Redshirt

Well, I guess I’m now a Dallas Cowboys fan.

OH GOD, I’M NOW A DALLAS COWBOYS FAN!!!!

(cries hysterically)

Romonobyl

The pain only gets worse when the weather turns colder.

Brocky

hey if you’re not busy next week could you find time to root for green bay?

Romonobyl

Where is Mr. Miyagi when we need him?

Gatoraids

Orchids of Asia

Miyagi.jpg
Redshirt

My dad dislocated his ankle. If that’s the injury, Dak is done. Career ender.

blaxabbath

Jerruh smiles, knowing he did the right thing not giving Dak that big contract.

Gatoraids

Well dallas doesn’t have to worry about scoring aloe of points and losing anymore at least

Redshirt

…and Andy Dalton gets sacked on his first play as Starting QB for the Dallas Cowboys.

You can take the player out of the Bungals..

Romonobyl

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

blaxabbath

Why not Romobyl?

blaxabbath

Dalton ready to lead Dallas to a first round playoff loss.

Duchess

they claim the SEC has become a defense optional football league while the whole NFC East has been playing football optional football

blaxabbath

Considering those colleges are Literacy Optional, I can see the precident.

blaxabbath

Had blaxito up early today and headed to the park. It’s just a little one right here in the middle of the neighborhood. When I went to the park, it was a nice quiet Sunday morning. Few people at the park, lots of morning walkers, and over on the soccer fields some teams were setting up cones and families were arriving.

Until a white Dodge Chargers comes slowly rolling down the street, windows down and speakers blaring, with some “get on the trump train” country song playing.

I’m voting straight D because I am over white trash ruining every public space I expect to be able to enjoy peacefully.

Gumbygirl

The same thing happened at Von’s the other day. I don’t need to hear your trash music at a million decibels to know you’re a fucking moron dude, the monster truck with the Trump shit plastered all over it was enough of a clue.

blaxabbath

It’s the loudest, smallest, most obnoxious silent minority I’ve ever seen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If silent Trump voters exist (like the female orgasm, I suspect they may be a myth) shit like that is going to do one hell of a job driving them away.

King Hippo

But they are SURE they are being muzzled and keeping their lights under a bushel, persecuted liek all white Christians everywhere smh

rockingdog

Should I drop Dallas WR CeeDee Lamb?
or will CeeDee keep having good games?

Mr. Ayo

Keep him.

clint greasewood

See what you can trade for him.

blaxabbath

I’ll trade straight up for Dak.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[adds you to his ‘enemies list’ for the crime of offering to trade away a canned ham] – Andy Reid

Doktor Zymm

Oh no! I walk away to roast some beets and Dak gets ded!?

Gumbygirl

Beets are gross. This is all your fault!

King Hippo

at least Dok know has an excuse not to eat them beets.

Doktor Zymm

I’m also heating up some crab dip, so maybe it won’t turn out to be too bad

blaxabbath

SOMEONE GET EYES ON JAMEIS!

Gumbygirl

Crab dip is delish, but beets are mud filled knobs of sadness.

Doktor Zymm

I’m not a medical-type Doktor, but I have suffered a lot of ankle injuries and I would be amazed and skeptical if they try to bring him back this season.

hippofant

I’m also not that kind of doctor, but in my expert opinion, the injury is “bad.”

And you can quote me on that.

King Hippo

Romo called Dak! “One of the good ones” – but immediately caught himself and said “good guys”

Doktor Zymm

I’m kinda amazed that watching a Dallas QB getting injured isn’t some sort of PTSD trigger for Romo

Beerguyrob

Is Dallas allowed to call Romo out of the broadcast booth?

Unsurprised

I guess they could.

Gratliff

He’s a goddamn star again!

litre_cola

ARE YOU READY FOR THE RED ROCKET??????????

Beerguyrob

Jim Nantz: “Look at the love for him from his teammates.”

What are they supposed to do, Jim? Spit on his grave?!

litre_cola

Yeah laugh at him while cart goes off! Fuck that guy, lets get some ginger magic up in here.

Spur

Fuck this year

Mr. Ayo

Now Jerrah can really screw him in negotiations because he’s an INJURY RISK!

Redshirt

Did Dak just pull a AlexSmith/JoeTheismann?

Mr. Ayo

Just an ankle. Completely broken, but still.

King Hippo

Basically what happened to Andre Gomes last season (Everton, against Spurs’ Son)

King Hippo

I was eating my last piece of pizza for that little visual. Jeebus.

Gratliff

oh shit fuck

blaxabbath

More like Dead Prescott, amirite?

Don T

/wince, ??

Beerguyrob

OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!

I’m not a Cowboys fan by any means but still, no.

Game Time Decision

Theres needs to be a warning before showing Daks ankle. I just ate thanksgiving dinner

Gatoraids

Now you can do it over again

King Hippo

Ha, was posting sommet similar.

clint greasewood

fuck thats bad

Gratliff

Not watching the games as it’s family horror movie o’clock but the entire internet just screamed. Did Dak get shot?

King Hippo

Basically. Ankle went the wrong way, and stayed there.

blaxabbath

What are you watching?

Gratliff

The Thing, but the lesser The Thing because he saw The Thing last year and wants to see some underwhelming CGI instead of the best practical effects in cinema history

Sharkbait

Red Rocket time

Mr. Ayo

DAK is done

Gatoraids

No rezone injury music

Sharkbait

Ankles aren’t supposed to bend that way

Spur

that looks broke

litre_cola

Ruh roh Dak.

Spur

oh shit

Horatio Cornblower

The Cowboys doing Zoom calls with middle-schoolers to talk about character would be even better if any of those kids asked them about signing Greg Hardy.

blaxabbath

About working for Jerry Jones.

Don T

Aldon Smith can drive the kids around.

Redshirt

2020 NFL Season: Where we need to have a Zebra Convention to see if the game clock reads 0:00.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt