Gotta love it when the 4 o’clock game is a stinker but it involves your team. I have you all (mostly) to myself. And if I could borrow from Hippo’s London football vernacular-“IT’S MANDATORY VIEWING!” But if it’s a nice fall day (parts of Texas excluded) take advantage of it, there may not be more of them available.
TO THE GAMES!
Fins/Niners:
Is San Franny committed to the run? They’ve only thrown to wr’s 53 times in four games. If anyone should be making that dumb ‘feed me’ gesture it should be Peabo Bryson, Bourne, Aiyuk and those others dudes. Kittles will always get his but the Fins have only given up 116 yards to that spot. That said, they’ve not seen anyone near the caliber of Boy George so this is the first real test.
Colts/Browns:
Stefanski has become a fan of rollouts-after not calling any the first week he’s dialed up 14 so far and Mayfield has turned it into a signature play. He’s 13-14 for 158 yards and 2 TD’s on the play-look for more today. It’ll be interesting to see how the Browns will handle an Indy D after rolling up 49 points on the Cowboys last week. The Colts defend outside the numbers very well so maybe look for crossers, pick plays and such.
Giants/Cowboys:
The Giants hoped that the drafting of Andrew Thomas would be a ‘plug, play and forget about it’ scenario but the big dude is struggling just like everyone else on the line. Accustomed to being larger and more physically talented than his opponent, Thomas has discovered that shoddy technique gets exploited when you play the best of the best. If the Giants aren’t able to put up some scores (they haven’t gotten a TD in their last 2 games) vs. a Dallas D that generates pressure only 27% of the time when they rush the passer, it’ll be a long year indeed. Can’t help but think the Cowboys smash here.
Feel free to comment on the awfulness provided.
Fuckballs.
Holy shit, Gallup.
It’s odd, usually when someone snaps in Dallas it’s November.
His ankle did go back and to the left, come to think of it.
That damned FieldTurf knoll.
You have to show his feet AND the ball.
I keep forgetting Jones isn’t Eli
holding?
I cannot believe that wasn’t called.
That was so blatant.
Real shame Andy and Garrett never crossed paths
Think the Giants are indeed shitty enough to lose to Red Rocket.
Giants missed tackle right on cue.
Red Rifle with all 3 timeouts? This is going to be glorious.
Ready for a classic Dalton game winning drive
If the Cowboys win this they will have sole possession of first place in the NFC East, and absolutely no chance of maintaining that.
If this game ends in a tie I will sacrifice some snacks and beer to the hilarity
That’s simply too much to ask for in this Year of Our Lord 2020.
Can danny dimes win it for the cowboys
The NFL is too full of cowards to do this but the XFL might: you can offer any player on the opposing team $1 million and they have to play the rest of the game for your team.
Danny Dimes Times
Daniel. 1 completion to Golden Tate please.
Need cooper to get a catch or 12. And a td too pls
Jones throws directly to Diggs instead.
Parkey loves him some upright action.
“Andy Dalton leads them down the field, 11 plays, 53 yards”
/Horatio adds more hot water to the bath, balances The Brave Little Toaster precariously on the edge of the tub
Throw the fucker right in the tub just as the rabbit eats it’s own head!
Make sure its not one of those fancy GFI outlets
The one on the right can see directly into your soul.
Throw a beard on Rooney and she looks like David de Gea
‘Well, I’m sure the quiet competence of Andy Dalton will lead us to the play-offs, and my insanely heavily Dallas offense FF team to the championships” I sob, as I heat up the bathwater and select just the right razor blabe.
“Don’t you forget about me.”
-The Brave Little Toaster
Don’t cross the tracks, cut with the grain.
As my daughter once said “across for attention, up-and-down for results.”
I should probably check on her.
Cowboys trying to be cute. Lousy (really lousy) Giants D having none of it.
Two points: first point is I just ordered new masks for exercise and I’m totally going to hang one from a lanyard like the refs do.
Second point: the refs taking off their masks to announce the penalty is total bullshit and pure vanity. We can hear you through your mask motherfucker!
They’re all allowed to take their masks off to talk, it’s really dumb. But they also allow faceshields without masks, and aren’t doing a bubble, so yeah, they ain’t taking the Covid seriously
You just know the refs union negotiated that deal so the head ref could get his TV time.
Plot twist: The ref just completed his course of adult braces and isn’t about to hide his new smile behind a mask
He has a dazzling smirk.
In apropos of nothing, why the fuck is Taylor Hall signing with the Sabres?
How long would you like to live in Newark?
Is buffalo really better?
Having been to both, the answer is a firm yes.
Of all the campaign phone calls and texts I’ve gotten, congratulations to the supporters of Prop XX for being the first to leave a message!
We got our ballots on Friday, we need to sit down with our voter guides and figure shit out tomorrow.
That’s my plan too, I have no idea which of the functionally identical candidates for town council I will vote for.
Are any of them running on a primarily Water Park-based platform?
https://ballotpedia.org/Opal_Covey
Sadly no, although there IS a water park in my town! I’ve never even heard any of them MENTION the water park!
I can’t believe Carty Finkbeiner only got 15%. Fucking Ohio, man!
That election was for his third or fourth (not necessarily consecutive) term if I recall.
When it’s close like that I usually opt for the funniest name.
Last time I voted in person and one of the candidates was voting at the same time as me, so I voted for him since he was polite to the poll workers.
I never knew anything about school board candidates until I started working in education, and now I hate enough of them to know who to vote for
Handy! I usually abstain on school board unless someone who knows what’s up gives me a tip. They all sound pretty identical as well
Usually half are teachers and half are corporate board member types who think they know how to do shit. It’s additionally important in Michigan because the boards for the intermediate school districts are selected from the boards for the local school districts, so we can filter the dipshits out early.
Has a team ever held a division lead with 1 win 5 weeks into the season? Seems unlikely.
Division lead origami achieved?
I don’t know, but I’m sure some intern at the networks will do the research so the commentators can tell us in an astoundingly uninformative manner!
Truffle shuffle
Lineman 2 point catch, woooooo
Dalton just went full Dalton…
ANDREWTHOMASDOWN!!!
It’s weird that this shit happened on the same day Alex Smith finally returned to the field ,tho
It’s like there’s a quota on functional limbs and they’re strictly enforcing it this year
The football Gods show no mercy.. At least Alex Smith had a long term deal in place, Dak! is on the franchise tag this year, right?
Correct, that play likely cost him tens of millions of dollars.
Boys doubling Engram. Slayton open?
FREEMANDOWN!
Jesus Christ, why did I watch that?
Ankles are odd, you can completely tear a lot of the soft tissue and still have all the bones intact. None of the options are good though, and he’s almost certainly going to have surgery tonight.
Hoping Jones can join dak in the hospital soon as possible
Why couldn’t it have been Zeke?
Why couldn’t it have been Jerry*?
* neck
So Wentz is the winner of NFC East QB survivor.
Just 1 more Tate catch. All I ask.
Oof! Dallas trying to lose this!
Don’t worry, Vander Esch will be back in time to get hurt next week.
Now it’s time for the a Dallas defense to step up!
No, I didn’t say that out loud.
DAK should do some AFLAC commercials.
It’s Texas, they may do things differently down there… Hell, for all you know they just amputated and used some leftover RoboRomo parts (or a broom handle), so the ankle’s in Hospital, whereas Dak’s doing the “2 motrin and walkin’ it off” route (beloved by anyone that’s seen Navy corpsmen in action)
Anything Laserface can DERP, Baker can DERP better
They really kicked a field goal down 8 from like 10 yards out. Big coward hours.
Welp, nevermind then
I’m feeling pretty good about missing every game playing pick ’em.
And pork fat is delicious by the way.
Came back from a sunset beer at the river to the news that DAK! is in hospital. Guess the Iggles are still gonna win the division despite finishing 4-12?
4-11–1
Oh a Phil Rivers 4th Q interception is so delicious.
Baker returns the favoUr!
Hey, at least this will give the Cowboy’s punter a shot at a few records. Think lemonade people!
4th quarter Dallas D reveal yourself
Nice catch!
CBSSports: Prescott suffers possible serious injury.
CBSNews: Next month’s election possibly important.
CBSWeather: Hurricanes are possibly dangerous.
How to spot spending too much in aviation forums -> First reaction I had was “Of course Hurricanes are dangerous, 4 20mm autocannons or 8 .303’s can ruin one’s day…”
Spitfire or GTFO.
Check UR facts, the ‘Cat took the brunt of the Battle Of Britain AND the most kills. Stop spreading around fa3k SpitMob propaganda 😛
My thought was my hangover after drinking way too many of them..