Beerguyrob
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Why do four-day work weeks always seem longer than that?

I had Monday off for turkey & football, and yet the four days I was at work felt like a month. It’s not like any of us are new at this COVID thing, so it’s not the social isolation. Indeed – like most principled shut-ins, I relish not having to deal with people until I have to because of The Man.

Who is fortunately off doing other things right now.

The weather didn’t change drastically either. We had a strong wind on Tuesday & Thursday, which blew away the rain and provided some delightfully crisp evenings. Why, in some parts of the country you could even see Mars.

And it can’t be because of the multiple elections the news is talking about, because people know I’ve given up wanting to hear or talk about the US election, and I already cast my ballot in the provincial one. (In fact, the only political commentary I regularly follow now are the delightful misanthropists of [DFO].) So I’m going to chalk it up to some form of general malaise.

Here’s to hoping we get a full slate of games tomorrow. That’ll brighten the mood.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Astros vs. Rays – 8:30PM | TBS / Sportsnet
      • Fucking Rays blew a 3-0 series lead; still…
        • GAME 7, BAY-BAY!

  • NCAA:
    • Southern Mississippi at UTEP – 7:30PM | ESPN2
      • Possible Brett Favre sighting?
    • North Carolina vs. Florida State – 7:30PM | ABC / TSN2
    • Georgia at Alabama – 8:00PM | CBS
      • Nick Saban has COVID. Somehow, this means pray for Auburn.
  • Fútbol:
    • Liga MX:
      • Guadalajara vs. Atlas – 8:00PM | TELMUN
    • MLS:
      • Montreal vs. Miami – 7:00PM | TSN
  • Left turns:
    • NASCAR XFINITY Series:
      • Kansas Lottery 300 – 7:00PM | NBCSN / TSN3
  • Fisticuffs:
    • UFC Fight Night: Ortega vs. Korean Zombie
      • Prelims – 5:00PM | TSN5 / ESPN+
      • Main card – 7:00PM | TSN5 / ESPN+
    • Top Rank Boxing on ESPN:
      • Lomachenko-Lopez (lightweights) – 7:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • Southern hemisphere tackle sports:
    • 2020 Bledisloe Cup: New Zealand vs. Australia – 11:00PM | TSN2

Since I was a bit dour up above, allow me to end on a positive note, with Al Yankovic & Portugal. The Man.

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Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook

I’m currently reading the Wikipedia article on the history of cheese.

Brick Meathook

I fried up some awesome fresh fish tonight. I ate the hell out of it too.

Unsurprised

What kind?

Brick Meathook

Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.

How’s your speech coming ? We need to get moving on this. Has Balls contacted you on which office you’ll be running for?

Brick Meathook

Seriously, you need to run for office. It was Atlantic cod (not quite Newfoundland Grand Banks cod) coated in flour (no milk no egg, no panko) and pan fried in Canola oil.

Unsurprised

“Men are too soft now,” the literature professor in Back to School complains in 1986. Nothing ever changes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I switched to scotch. What’s good?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(Around here. What’s good around here. I’m an expert on what’s good, whisky wise. Even kind of an arrogant dick about it)

Brick Meathook

Hey BFC! I got a bottle of whiskey. Let’s get hammered together tonight, with social distancing: I’ll stay at my home and you stay ay at yours. Let’s just post updates to each other this evening. I say let anyone else chime in as well.

Unsurprised

Oh, fuck. I have rye.

Unsurprised

Achievement unlocked: Drinking rye

Brick Meathook

You should be working on your campaign speech. We can get you elected in Portland as a write in candidate. Think about it: that’s a pretty good gig.

Unsurprised

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lol

litre_cola

Late night DFO. What happens? Been awhile. Pretty wine drunk, on the couch because I thought that was for the best.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Three beers in, trying to pick my next stout.

TheRevanchist

I just had some RumChata. About to break out some pineapple cider just to keep it mellow.

Brick Meathook

I’ve been talking via satellite-phone with my Canadian cousins. I love my family and have the best relatives ever. I told them that, after my experience of the last year, is to never get paid in Canadian dollars.

Last edited 6 days ago by Brick Meathook
WCS

Loma-Lopez was a damn good fight.

Mr. Ayo

No spoilers. I’m still catching up on the undercards.

WCS

Grab a couple of shots of your liquor of choice, and get a beer.

Mr. Ayo

I’m kidding. Twitter and the ESPN app already spoiled it for me.

But I’m still following your orders.

WCS

comment image

Unsurprised

Maybe VLTR has a point. My brother has been asked by many anti-gun friends about secretly buying one (he owns guns)

comment image

WCS

The Lightning have already won the Stanley Cup, the Rays are now in the World Series, and the Bucs have Brady.

Uh oh.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Do they have early voting in FL? This might not bode well.

Unsurprised

Technically, but it’s like accessing the planning office from Hitchhiker’s Guide

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, but are the strip clubs open?

WCS

The Superflu from The Stand couldn’t close Tampa’s strip clubs.

Viva La Tabula Raza

FREE TUBENECK LUNCH BUFFETS! $20 TABLE DANCE!!
—Little Stevie Van Zandt

WCS

M-O-O-N

That spells, “E Street Band.”

litre_cola

I thought the same thing a couple days ago.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Seminole fans exhibiting responsible masking and distancing, I see. DeSantis is smiling.

WCS

comment image

Mr. Ayo

So we can forget about Mack Brown forever again?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ha ha, ABC’s chryon just said “FL ST DEFNESE.” That seems more FOX-like.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lady BFC bought some shrimp burgers a while back, so throwing those on the stovetop and whipping up an aoli. Don’t burn the place down while I’m gone.

Unsurprised

YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR

yeah right

My new bluray DVD player just got here and I spent half an hour saying motherfucker you don’t need to connect to my wifi! You need to play DVDs! You have one motherfucking job!

Unsurprised

Technology is dragging us backwards and it’s 100% intentional.

King Hippo

Roll Damn Tide! I just dislike Kirby Smart, no idea why.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Both of these late games are heading into the shitter at warp speed.

WCS

This is the clusterfuckiest two-point sequence I’ve seen maybe ever.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Getting ready to re-read, for the severalth time, this underappreciated 30 year old classic. Just a great fucking story and finish.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Berkutcomment image

King Hippo

Amazon just thanked me for this order.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Don’t read the last paragraph of the wiki writeup, fucking spoiler.
Also, a very interesting sequel if you like the Berkut.
https://www.amazon.com/Domino-Conspiracy-Joseph-Heywood-ebook/dp/B015Z7WRCG/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=joseph+heywood+domino&qid=1602988417&sr=8-2
This guy Heywood has gone on to write a series of mystery novels featuring a Game Warden in the U.P. of Michigan. I’ve read all those too, and they are pretty entertaining, but not nearly as memorable as the two books mentioned above.

King Hippo

Ha, I won’t even read the “back cover” synopsis on me books no MOAR. High level scan of basic concept is it!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Cool. Let me know how you likey. I’ve probably read The Berkut a dozen times since the late 1980s. As easy to get lost in as Alan Furst’s Night Soldiers.

Unsurprised

Reddit has me suddenly interested in Mexican politics. This is one of their congresswomen.

comment image

Unsurprised
BrettFavresColonoscopy

People who take pictures in the locker room should be put in the stockades.

But she might merit an exception.

Unsurprised

Agreed

Unsurprised

On second thought …

Viva La Tabula Raza

In the shower would be okay too.

yeah right

Park a herd of camels.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t see any reason why it would be bad to have her restrained in that fashion, assuming we had a decent safe word worked out in advance.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Seen here remotely submitting her vote to the Mexican congress on funding of Trump’s WALL.

Unsurprised

I was expecting MAGA to effectively want to get COVID because if their god-emperor can survive it, surely they will.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The good news for them is that COVID wants them to get it, too.

Viva La Tabula Raza

To paraphrase Trotsky:
You may not be interested in COVID, but COVID is interested in you.

Unsurprised

Also “We’re in Mexico. Why do you have an ice axe?”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nice.

scotchnaut

About 30 or so years ago my buddies and I finished 6th(?) in a Canada/US-wide bar trivia thingy because I knew the answer to “He was assassinated in Mexico in 1940)”.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“I knew that answer too, but was too slow to hit the buzzer.”
—Josef Vissarionovich Stalin

Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope they all jump into the caldera.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t give a shit about any Florida or NC team, but I do enjoy watching an unranked FSU ass-ramming 5th ranked NC by a significant margin.

Gratliff

Is the second Zombieland movie worth a watch?

Mr. Ayo

Yes

yeah right

It’s exactly what you expect.

So, Yes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought it was pretty much a waste of time.

Mr. Ayo

*updates holiday card list*

Don T

comment image

WCS

PRAISE BLEERGH

WCS

U*NC’s quarterback just got his brain erased.

King Hippo

Unsurprised

OH NO! HIS PROMISING SCHOLARSHIP IS RUINED!

scotchnaut

“North Calacky getting fooked really hard. Good to see.”

Last edited 6 days ago by scotchnaut
scotchnaut

-North Calacky’s Uncle-recording his niece and her boyfriend from inside the closet

scotchnaut

Saban was tested for “Whiny Bitch” and it came out positive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just finished a shift making calls for the Biden campaign. Tough night. I hope this means we’re done with all the low-hanging fruit and moving into hostile territory. The same thing happened when I was texting for Beto in Texas.

scotchnaut

“In my mind I’m going to Georgia.”

-James Taylor, shortly after the dementia set in

WCS

My bad, coach.

King Hippo

Paaaawwwwwlllll, I dunno if Coach Saban should have took two days off for some commie libtard Jew FAKE NEWS virus, what say yeeeewwwww?

King Hippo

Ale-Berto: I heard that Portugal. The Man/Weird Al compilation earlier this week, and was so happy I almost ran off the road.

King Hippo

Way MOAR mask wearing than one might expect in Tuscaloosa.

Y’all see that the chud who demanded that UF allow 100% capacity attendance (because their very stupid Governor said ok)…has teh #NuAIDS now?

Mr. Ayo

I’m awaiting ROLL DAMN #NuAIDS next week.

Last edited 6 days ago by Mr. Ayo
scotchnaut

I have a lifetime’s supply of saran wrap. I didn’t win a contest, I didn’t buy it. It’s just how things worked out and there’s more on the way.

WCS

Shouldn’t that help you suffocate hobos?

scotchnaut

You just gave me an idea…

King Hippo

#NEVARStopLearning

Gumbygirl

Keeps them fresh too!

rockingdog

found a funny:

I inject heroin into my arm that’s scarred from times prior, my eyes roll back into my head as my manager pounds on my door telling me I’m on in five minutes. Let’s rock I say as I grab my bass guitar, take a pull of whisky, and get into my chuckee cheese mouse band costume

WCS

Rock and roll

King Hippo

found a dark funny!

scotchnaut

Pretty sure rockingdog is white, smgdh…

rockingdog

LOL at Atlanta sports moments…
decent chance Braves loose both Game 6 & 7 of NLCS and UGA looses to Alabama
in a 30hr span

rockingdog

*checks notes

GAME 7 Braves vs. Dodgers
tomorrow nite
OMG

King Hippo

Somewhere in the distance, William Tecumseh Sherman grins contentedly

WCS

It’s interesting that everyone laughs at Cleveland and Buffalo for their continuous failures, but, do feel bad deep down.

NO ONE ever says the same about Atlanta.

Unsurprised

Cleveland and Buffalo don’t deserve it

King Hippo

And on the third day, Nick Saban rose again. And the ppls said HAIL GAMBLOR

scotchnaut

Is he a MAGA shithead or does he stay out of it?

King Hippo

conservative Dem

scotchnaut

“The Straddler”

Mr. Ayo

Woah, Nick Saban and my mom have the same nickname!

scotchnaut

“Straddle me this, Batman-what has one (maybe one other) hole that wants to be filled nightly?”

-The Worst/Best Super Villain Ever

Viva La Tabula Raza

Same nickname of a gal I knew that owned a sybian.

Mr. Ayo

When worlds collide.

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO FACT! I really had no idea what a sybian was, until well into my 40s.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It took the rise of the internet for me to learn what one was, probably about 20 years ago, I was in my early 40s.. DARPA designed the internet to be a primary porn distribution resource.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

With the loss of Eddie Van Halen, I spent about an hour talking to my daughter about his technique while watching the Eruption video on YouTube.
https://youtu.be/mIpHZo7BsT8
She plays piano, guitar, timpani, xylophone, mandolin, banjo, ukulele, drums, steel drums.

She is clearly not related to me. My wife and I need to talk.

Game Time Decision

Both my kids are musically inclined ( trumpet for one, sings, dances,,drama, and saxamaphone for the other) neither the wifey or I have any talents that way, so wtf dear?

scotchnaut

You are sitting there at work, minding your own. Out of nowhere you’re kidnapped by a wrestling syndicate and forced to come up with a (maybe, sorta) badass name related to what you do at work. What’s your handle?

Mine is “Incredibly Gross Profit Evaluator”.

Warthog

The Grader

King Hippo

You Received a Graduate Degree To Do THAT?

ArmedandHammered

Fixer of Others Fuckups

Game Time Decision

Level 2

Viva La Tabula Raza

Responder To and Forwarder Of E-Mails.

yeah right

The cook.

scotchnaut

Everyone loves maple trees. They’re so pretty! No one thinks about their children that fall to the ground, are bundled up by rakes into large piles and are burned alive in large fires. This madness has to end!

herodotus450

How many foot taps in the bathroom stall is it for “grade A dark maple syrup”? Cause I keep getting something else…

scotchnaut

Given your tired tonsils and my inflamed anus… I’m thinking we should re-visit our initial business plan…

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is that the new QAnon conspiracy?

yeah right

I’m trying to not use food delivery services. Especially after finding out that they charge the very restaurants we’re trying to keep alive.

Made my famous home fries, bacon and eggs and saved some money.

I love doing breakfast for dinner.

Last edited 7 days ago by yeah right
scotchnaut

When the boys were very young I’d do that every six months or so. They went bananas crazy.

King Hippo

pancakes and bacon, mine loved as well

Gumbygirl

I made a ginormous pot of bean soup, with sausage,collard greens, and fire roasted tomatoes. Corn muffins to go with it. There will be some beautiful butt music in the Gumbyhouse tomorrow, but it’s worth it.

yeah right

What type of beans? I love navy beans but whoo boy do they resonate

scotchnaut

“Navy beans are the worst! Submarine beans are the best!”

-Bank Barkhook

Gumbygirl

It was a mix of beans, including navy,split peas, kidneys, black, lima, and great northerns.

scotchnaut

Great Northern beans are now called “Canada Beans”, just so you know.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess the Railroad sued for the name, like Disney always does?comment image

Gumbygirl

“First Nations Beans”

Game Time Decision

Breakfast for dinner is always welcome in my house. Bacon and eggs. Waffles, pancakes. Mmmm

Last edited 6 days ago by Game Time Decision
Unsurprised

Good. Every gig industry service is a fucking scam and run by monsters. Do not give them a cent.