As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

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The Week in DFO

Here are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:

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I have very bad things to say about Tony Dungy on Wednesday. And then sexy photos of wrestlers.

Should you run out of things or names to describe this cum guzzler here are a few:

• goblin like
• orc like
• hobbit eared fuck
• hypocrite
• shit stain
• taint enthusiast
• slime sucking super deformed weasel head
• judgmental dick
• close minded lobster diddler

if you need any more, holler

jjfozz

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They had to put Black Lives Matter on the back of their helmets so that Joey Bosa wouldn’t be able to see it

Mother Puncher

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I’m thinking that the Chargers doctor stabbed Tyrod Taylor on purpose.

JimU

The things people do to win at fantasy football.

clint greasewood

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Take Your Daughter To Work Day at Capt. Humpy’s Shitty Strip Bar?

Horatio

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Dak Prescott is absolutely whacked out of his mind in that picture his brother posted.

Horatio

Oh yeah he is. When I snapped my leg in half, I got a morphine, codeine & Demerol cocktail

Sharkbait

Oh sure, but you won’t post that recipe!

Horatio

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found a funny:

the supreme court is just a regular court with tomato and sour cream

rockindog

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Where are you shipping him?

Doktor Zymm

My parents are moving and he came tear assing out of the living last night with this wrapped around his head. Fucking child is raising himself. Completely feral.

jjfozz

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Jukebox and pinball?? The hell does the rest of your basement look like??

Sharkbait

Motion to move the DFO Clubhouse to Fozz’s basement

Doktor Zymm

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“See!?! SEE! I told you all she was real!!”

-Manti Te’o

LemonJello

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I guess the NFL is now part of the public school system, because Breesus has no place in it.

Redshirt

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Quit using that overpaid fuck! Your gimmick is cute but ultimately stupid.

Litre_cola

“Your gimmick is cute but ultimately stupid.”

What she said on the fourth date

Doktor Zymm

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Where is Dr. Iggy Pepper?

Gumbygirl

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“AND RUSSELL WAITED UNTIL HIS WEDDING NIGHT TO GRAB CIARA’S HEAD AND GO WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! ONTO HIS COCK AND IT WAS ROMANTIC SO LET’S GO!!!”

SonOfSpam

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I see that reaction time correlates almost perfectly with age in that family.

RTD

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The “Turn Your Head and Goff” TD celebration executed to perfection…

LemonJello

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That was quicker than me when the wife brings chocolate frosting into the bedroom.

scotchnaut

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Wtf is with those outlets

Game Time Decision

What outlets?

I noticed too…

Litre_cola

There are boobs and panties in that picture. There could be a decapitated head behind her and I wouldn’t notice.

She likes to smoke menthol cigarettes and drinks rum.

Litre_cola

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They call him AJ Brown because he’s a shit version of AJ Green

Mother Puncher

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During this break in the action I’d like to tell all my pretend friends that Perrier gives me gas and I don’t like it.

scotchnaut

Perrier is dinosaur farts

Recovery Whiskey

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I am the level of drunk and stoned for a Monday night game. It is an hour and a half earlier. This is great.

Litre_cola

MORE TUESDAY FOOTBALL!

Sharkbait

Seconded. I could get into this. If they did all week, my wife would leave me but at least I would have DFO.

Litre_cola

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Remember when Chris Rock was young and nowhere near gray?

Yeah, I feel old too.

Petronel

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Josh Allen looks like he just found out his GF is pregnant. But he wasn’t the father.

Recovery Whiskey

So relieved AND angry?

BFC

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We located the nearest weed store and unsurprisingly it’s in an unincorporated area between Pedro and Torrance. This is the same place where the best massage parlors used to be. Then we discussed combining the two under the same roof.

After a lot of suggestions we came up with the name of “Toke and Stroke.”

We’re open for suggestions.

Yeah Right

Shake and Bake

Gumbygirl

Knead and Weed

Litre_cola

Tugs and Nugs!

RTD

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Look, I’ve read the inferno, and all the circles of least, and weaselo’s jets previews/mythology mashups….

And I’m still learning some stuff from this.

BFC

Which is why this site continues to hold my goldfish length attention span. Come for the football and dick jokes, stay for the history lessons and this kind of stuff. And not knocking any other series, i just can’t think of them right now

Game Time Decision

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We’re in the 4th quarter of 2020. Let’s hope we playing the Falcons.

Sharkbait

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I told a 20 something dude in my building that my Iguana Mart t shirt was an old punk band. He is going to look them up.

Litre_cola

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And it didn’t stop there. A second error in Deuteronomy 5 misspelled greatness as “great-asse”.

For reference the actual text is

And ye said, Behold, the Lord our God hath shewed us his glory and his greatness, and we have heard his voice out of the midst of the fire: we have seen this day that God doth talk with man, and he liveth.

God showed his glory and great-asse.

-The Gospel of Balls

nomonkeyfun

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No offense to NBC and ABC, but if I wanted to see two senile old men having a verbal dick measuring contest, I would pay attention to meetings at work.

Redshirt

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Even though the Titans played on Tuesday, are we sure that they’re not playing the Jaguars tonight? Maybe on some local Jacksonville UHF station?

JimU

According to my interpretation of one of Einstein’s theories, it’s possible that every Titans-Jags game is occurring at the same time, and that time is right now.

herodotus450

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I don’t understand why the NFL wouldn’t just show Jags-500s tonight. No one would watch that, anyway.

WCS

[begins to doubt that WCS understands what DFO is all about]

scotchnaut

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last funny:

guns n’ roses only criteria for calling a place “paradise:”

1) women are attractive

2) grass normal color

rockindog

Eddie Money’s:

1) Must have a functioning airport for two-seater planes and bigger.

herodotus450

Things I like:

Piña Coladas

Getting Caught in the Rain

Champagne

Things I don’t like:

Health Food

Being Faithful to my Old Lady

Redshirt

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I have redamaged my hip (arthritic) and my right knee (college volleyball injury). I can no longer sleep on either side. Just face up. Fuck me. I will spend tomorrow trying to get an Arizona Medical Marjuana card.

Do I have to fuck you? Nothing personal, but Senorita Weaselo would be pissed.

Senor Weaselo

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Horatio gave me an idea that led to this episode, so if you like it be sure to hug the next Big Jim action figure you see.

If you don’t like it, I don’t know what’s wrong with you but it’s probably quite serious and you should check yourself into Smith’s Grove Sanitarium immediately.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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and not a single “Cute kid, blax!” winner. WTF? RECOUNT. CONGRESS

Game Time Decision

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This is basically a summary of how I’ve flirted since college

Doktor Zymm

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I gotta say, this one is giving me some ladyboy vibes.

Gumbygirl

I think it’s just shitty makeup, why nude lipstick for example?

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, the makeup is super bad drag queen.

Gumbygirl

Or New Jersey Housewife. Same thing, really.

Gumbygirl

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I asked the question earlier. Do bolt-on boobs look attractive to any human?

What, like if Boltman had boobs?

Doktor Zymm

*does quick google search*

oh, oh no. I like my idea better.

Doktor Zymm

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My brain just reminded me that I used to curse at people in German a lot. I should start doing that again, you scheissekopf sweinhund!

Doktor Zymm

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It’s interesting that everyone laughs at Cleveland and Buffalo for their continuous failures, but, do feel bad deep down.

NO ONE ever says the same about Atlanta.

WCS

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Thank you to everyone one for providing quality laughs and gifs/pics to look at. Have a good week, everyone!