Yesterday was a hoot, wasn’t it? The Sunday Nighter was a keeper and it seems like there’s so much happening it’s hard to keep up. I’ll try.
Fallout:
-Players that have fallen include Dalton and N’Keal Harry (concussed), Dede Westbrook and OBJ (torn ACL’s) and Drake has a slight ligament tear in his ankle.
-Ben DiNucci looks like the starter next week on the road in Philly. It does a heart good to see the Cowboys struggling this hard but I’m rooting for this kid. As a 7th rounder he’s been put on blast long before he’s ready (one assumes) and I hope he surprises. I mean, with two successful throws he piled up more yards on O than Sam Darnold did in the second half yesterday.
-I read the stat-4 yards the entire second half, and had to check it myself. Jeebuz. I noted that I think Dimes isn’t going to progress in his current environment and I don’t think Sam has a chance either. Let’s just scoot ahead to next year-he’ll be under a new head coach, a new coordinator and starting from scratch again. His career is being set up to fail.
-Not so with lover of the long ball Justin Herbert-your very latest QB1 in fantasy. Tyrod, we hardly knew ya. Suffice to say, I think the Chargers coaching staff didn’t know what they had on their hands.
-Baker Mayfield did himself a huge favor by having a huge game and thereby fends off the local media, otherwise known as the Cleveland Wolves.
TO THE GAME!
Bears/Rams:
I didn’t see the Bears going 5-1 but in my defense I wasn’t paying them any attention whatsoever. Are the squonkiest one loss team around? Surely they are. That D can’t carry sub-sub par quarterbacking all season long, can they? Seems like fans are walking on eggshells hoping he catches fire again at some point. I spoke up above about qb’s in bad environments and Goff is my best example of a fella that thrives when there’s a slight improvement in o-line play. Credit to McVay and Co. for not jumping the gun and dissembling the line or buying something shiny on the free agent market. They just TRUSTED THE PROCESS.
Have at it.
Going to have the best 3-4 start to fantasy after this game, fu Drake the time Of Edmunds has come… After the bye week
Funny listening to Griese talk noise about the Bears and QB play when he couldn’t play QB for any of the teams he played for.
I’d like to see Charlie “Clipboard Jesus” Whitehurst in the booth doing color. But from what I understand, he had a good agent and made more money than any other perpetual backup during his career, so he probably doesn’t need the money.
So I finished one of my Queen Majesty bottles and am basically done with my Torchbearer Zombie Apocalypse. So I can totally order Last Dab Apollo right?
Moranis is wearing that now to avoid the next rnd of the knockout game
Just to confirm I am in a shitfuck mood. My posts are just an effort to escape this mood. Eat shit, rest of the world but not you guys.
[puts down handful of shit]
“That was a little too close. Whew!”*
*two minutes ago
Close call. Glad it didn’t go the wrong way.
Way better than Baker Fuckcunt’s commercials.
https://youtu.be/7IY536oUtRc
Come fly with me…
“Danger Zone!”
I’d like to get that burning feeling from her.
/hip thrust
The Ice Cardinals last month boasted about having its CEO selected to be on a NHL committee to stop racism….it then used its first draft pick on Mitchell Miller, convicted of bullying a Black classmate with disabilities.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Santa Ana wind-driven wild fires give Southern California its beautiful sunsets
A heartbreaker that has me misting up. My parents’ kitchen completely empty. A thousand meals, a million laughs were served up here. No place will ever replace this room. Ghosts live there, and each of them has a smile and a story. Fuck.
It’s an interesting thing that the memories that make it hard to look at are the same that give it any worth at all. Otherwise, it’s just an organized array of wood, metal, and plastic. An unintended consequence of being part of a family with multi-generational poverty/dysfunction/insanity/terrible decision making was never having to spend very long in a house that belonged to dead loved ones, or dead unloved ones if we’re being honest. It wasn’t until my father-in-law passed and I saw the way none of them could look at any one spot for very long that I realized what a blessing that was. I don’t know how much it played into the way I go into a peaceful state when I think back on the people I’ve lost, but I know I fully intend on leaving behind a loving home for the people I leave behind to be comforted and haunted by in equal parts.
I plan to leave my severed penis in a super secret hiding place as well. Well said, Gratliff!
Dude, you make my heart ache.
Spirit of the season and the night vincent price cooking dishwasher fish for johnny carson
https://twitter.com/HorrorHammer1/status/1277347035381891074?s=19
Worth it for last 30 second trades about boning and ex wives
Vincent Price was the tits. He would be invited to my fantasy dinner party.
Canada Dry Bold Ginger Ale because “Vernor’s” was already taken
It’s better than their regular ginger ale, but Senorita Weaselo has gotten into ginger ale and beer.
YOU’LL DRINK THIS CANADA DRY AND LIKE IT OR I WILL SMASH IT INTO YOUR HEAD
Is it with Real Canadian?
That’s Scotchnaut’s Canada Dry.
What, no love for Schweppes? Isn’t that the one with the hot chick on the rock by the pond and all that?
There’s a company called Buffalo Rock in Birmingham that has been making a really fierce ginger ale since the civil war. Vernor’s is good, but BR is spicier.
This guy and I were born on the same day, same year. I consider him my brother. He knows me better than anyone. I have been blackout drunk with him more times that I dare to remember. The very best.
Background: my parents’ house, right before getting fucking blasted out of our heads.
Bears may shit in the woods, but they’re definitely shitting all over this field.
Rams energized by not having as bad as uniforms as Sunday night
Here is me. When I was 17 and didn’t hate the entire world.
Only 90% of the world
So much optimism, soon to be crushed
When I was that age I thought I was cynical, which….no, not even close
See, I think the intensity of the cynicism was there but the length, breadth and depth of it? That ripens on the vine as the years accrue.
Yeah, I did way to much giggling for the world-weary jade I believed myself to be at 17.
found a funny:
merriam webster: a “sport” is a competitive physical activity typically involving teams, a ball, and-
the inventor of curling: and a broom
merriam webster: how do you keep getting in here
With the broom
My oldest and middle. Every second of every day I vacillate between loving them and wanting to hit them with a meat cleaver.
The dull end, right?
Depends on the level of medicine in me
So, your boy is a Jesuit?
He is. And it pisses off my mother in law. And I fucking love it.
I didn’t know that kids could be Jesuits, I thought you could only be a Jesuit once you finished a program at one of their schools. Learn something every day. Off to Wikipedia!
To confirm, he’s being taught by Jesuits. Some Catholics hate them because they’re viewed as “liberal” in their teachings. Those are the Catholics that are fucking paranoid, judgemental fucks who forgot about what CHrist said: Don’t judge, love people.
IIRC, five of those assholes are on the Supreme Court now.
Some Catholics hate them because they’re viewed as “liberal” in their teachings.
That was my understanding.
admit it, you hate that they remind you of yourself
Yes, each of them has the best and worst of me. Well, there’s not much “best” of me. They are sarcastic, funny sons of bitches.
Now presenting Rolling in Their Grave segment
The new sink and vanity. A later picture would have revealed that the fucking numbskull contractor attached the pulls, and didn’t put them in the center of each drawer.
lot better looking than the piece of shit vanity me and my dad put in the rental unit this odd weekend
It cost way too much, but I suck at this type of shit.
Man’s gotta know his limitations
No lie, I’m drinking Svedka vodka straight, no ice and the aftertaste is very close to a slim jim.
Can you have a fucking brain aneurysm and not be aware that youre dead?
Only one way to find out.
Oh my!
IKR?
underboob and sideboob in the same picture!
Prepare for trouble…
/Needs to be a cat or a snake for proper Jessie accuracy
Here’s to Tua.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v8BxD2o-1g&ab_channel=AnthonyRiddle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUT5rEU6pqM
Matching touchdowns with field goals…it’s an interesting strategy, let’s see how it works out!
I could use a bajillion rams field goals, but unfortunately it’s the wrong team kicking
Its the Chicago Way
The Great Pumpkin, only available on Apple TV+, go fuck yourselfs with a metal studded dildo, Apple.
YOu cunts.
I wholeheartedly support this message
Seriously, do the big guyshave to have everything? fuck this country
“The new IDildo is a mix of platinum and gorilla glass and cost $3,500”
-Apple
I would like to see the unboxing of that implement
The inboxing would be held live on Chaturbate
Do the Bearistocrats know they are not playing an NFC East team yet?
What a catch! Throwing cross field, though… bad idea jeans.
Smythe also
-Was nicknamed, among other things, “Little Dictator”
-Was part of the ownership that renamed the Toronto hockey team to the Leafs, but opposed switching the Canadian flag to the current maple leaf design so much that he wrote to hundreds of members of Parliament and switched political allegiances over it.
I think he might have also been responsible for building the Garden during The Depression in record time by offering construction workers shares in the team.
I also read that! Built in the middle of the depression in 6 months for $500,000 by offering negotiating a deal with the unions to pay partly in shares. I guess that’s how he got the name Conn.
Most cashed in immediately but I think those that kept the shares did okay. I’ve a vague memory of a guy in the 60’s selling his shares and financing his retirement.
Save this up shit for Old Man Fitzpatrick who’s job died this week
Well, until Tua’s hip goes all ‘splodey again…
That’ll be next season after fins pass on another QB in the draft
Billy Dee Williams was such a great running back.
Every time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FA368-dVWs
The best running backs belonged to the French Army in WW2. #nevarforget
Kuwaiti armed forces in August 1990, also.
I suspect that neither Rams nor Bears are the most popular animals at the zoo. Polar bears might have a shot at the top 10.
Monkeys. Always and forever. The answer is monkeys.
Dan Snyder frantically calls NFLHQ with a new team name.
GFDI
I’m a big fan of these guys. The National Zoo has a program that prepares captive bred ones to be reintroduced to the wild./golden-lion-tamarin-993612028-5c3dfc13c9e77c0001485a82.jpg)
Golden Lion Tamarin, so fancy!
Giant pandas. People fucking love them, even though they’re pretty much always sleeping or sitting around eating.
Red pandas are where it’s really at.
I will never get that. Pandas suck.
Koala bears too. Those furry friends are fucking cuddly.
Penguins lions despite detroit’s attempt to ruin them
Better take it off her before she gets snagged on something.
Looks like a bit more defense in this one
Meanwhile, on the Conn Smythe wikipedia page…
It turns out he
-Demoted two Leafs players to the minors because they got married without his permission
-Claims the Maple Leafs colors are for the blue sky and white snow of Canada but probably he just liked those colors or had leftover paint from his sand and gravel company with the same color scheme
But was he caught driving in mini cars around Maple Leaf Gardens with prostitutes like Harold Ballard and King Clancy were? It’s all about perspective.
He was granted a car, driver, and office for life after he
was firedquit so probably not.He had some problems with the Board of Directors, didn’t he? If memory serves, Jean-Luc Godard was not a fan of how he ran the team and led the pressure that forced him to resign.
Seems like he had a feud with just about everyone everywhere he went, I can’t keep em straight after a very cursory reading of wikipedia.
Had you consulted Reader’s Digest the entry would read, “He was a gigantic ass.”
Woke up to jackhammers at my neighbor’s house.
Wife says our marriage is disintegrating.
Two hour long fight
Four hours of painful freelance writing
Wife is at her parents
Three glasses of bourbon deep.
Fuck my life.
HOW IN FUCK YOU DOIN’ BOYS?
FOrgot to add that my sons are watching WWE Raw or WWE Eat Shit or whatever. Awesome.
How long before they’re re-enacting their own steel cage match in Casa Fozz?
It could be in the next five minutes, with me leading the way
Fuck it. Halloween’s coming. This is one of the cosplayers someone posted a photo of during last night’s all-you-can-eat bananacakefest: Irina Sabetskaya (@evenink_cosplay)
Anyway, Leeanna Vamp
smh she’s not a Christmas tree 2/10
Mayfield will suck again as soon as they play a team with a winning record. My true hope is that he gets traded to the Cowbells, so that young kid they got in the 7th round will start in a few quarters after Mayfield is taken to the sideline after getting his head shoved way up his own ass (even further, I mean).
Will we get those hilarious commercials where he’s living in Jerral’s World?
DON’T NEED NO INSURANCE IN TEXAS YEEHAW YEEHAW!
Belt buckles and ass-less chaps have a huge market, though.
Why would they start now?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptnJkFRHJl4
Now there’s a scenario I can get behind. I hate Mayfield worse than I hate my wife.
Germaine “the human penalty flag” Ifedi is still at it.
How the
(coughs)
How the fuck
(hacks)
How the fuck you doin
(stupid Santa Ana Winds brush fires)
boys?
HE’S GOT THE CORONA QUARANTINE HIM
Actually, I’ve got a nice witbier made with passionfruit, but I’ll take some isolation.
Get the bleach and ultraviolet light injectors!
I had to drive to Loma Linda today, the wind was insane. I felt sorry for people out walking, they were getting sandblasted.
rams don’t deserve that intro.
mandolorians don’t pick sides.
red shirt back me up on this
And virgins shouldn’t be watching football, but here you are.
Last thing you want is a redshirt having your back.
Rewatched Demon Knight before the game. Billy Zane should have just kept doing that same character in everything he did. It’s his best movie. Fuck Titanic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A6pN8KWYSg
Billy Zane was the gottdamn The Phantom. NEVER FORGET!
/loved that guy, thought he would be way bigger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLUSwJuMjWo&ab_channel=Movieclips
That’s no way to talk about Ansem
v
bogus ass sephiroth wannabe
Imagine thinking you need 7 keys to plunge the universe into darkness when you could just be in charge of supreme court appointments instead
i’m excited for a Democratic President and Congress to throw their hands up in defeat. “We’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas”
Meanwhile, I would like to completely replace the federal judiciary because it’s a fucking disgrace.
No one will or could ever even answer a simple “Why do we do this fucking stupid single judge trial court, three-judge appellate court, 5-9 judge supreme court system for review?” Because the only fucking answer is “That’s the way it’s always been” – as in, “since English judges were wiping their asses with those same robes back in the dark ages.”
We use the same worthless fucking law school system that was invented to funnel a Harvard asshole’s favorite students to his friends in Boston’s law firms. Lawyers are fucking idiots. Lazy, incurious to the detriment of humanity, idiots.
Same chick
Her belly button game is strong.
Belly button?
THIS is the way.
10 day-2 week isolation starts now. The wedding I attended yesterday wasn’t exactly the best for social distancing.
At least the bar is stocked up
I’ve done that twice already. Best of luck.
My mother has had so many close COVID-19 calls, yet she continues to host maskless Church Small Group and go to church where they don’t require masks in the Sanctuary.
At this rate, her son’s nagging is going to be replaced by her mother, her father, her grandpa, her grandpa and her Savior greeting her at the Pearly Gates with a disappointing, “You should’ve listen to Redshirt!”
Better than Borough Park! Percentage of attendees wearing masks: Low.
https://twitter.com/Smashy_Crashy/status/1319761320355323904?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1319761320355323904%7Ctwgr%5Eshare_0%2Ccontainerclick_1&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fpopculture.com%2Ftrending%2Fnews%2Fmcdonalds-stirs-outrage-fans-after-mcrib-tweet-tease%2F
If I liked the McRib, I’d probably have his same feelings. I mean, entry level marketing major, destined for a life of lies and half-truths in the advertising business, vs food. I’ll support food any day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=je1NIf8GeeY&ab_channel=SaturdayNightLive
LOL
the collab 2020 needs rite now…
Full blackout drunk yesterday. Totally had no idea what went on after 2 pm. Don’t remember getting home. Problem was I didn’t eat anything, that made me Lord Mayor of Crazytown.