Yesterday was a hoot, wasn’t it? The Sunday Nighter was a keeper and it seems like there’s so much happening it’s hard to keep up. I’ll try.
Fallout:
-Players that have fallen include Dalton and N’Keal Harry (concussed), Dede Westbrook and OBJ (torn ACL’s) and Drake has a slight ligament tear in his ankle.
-Ben DiNucci looks like the starter next week on the road in Philly. It does a heart good to see the Cowboys struggling this hard but I’m rooting for this kid. As a 7th rounder he’s been put on blast long before he’s ready (one assumes) and I hope he surprises. I mean, with two successful throws he piled up more yards on O than Sam Darnold did in the second half yesterday.
-I read the stat-4 yards the entire second half, and had to check it myself. Jeebuz. I noted that I think Dimes isn’t going to progress in his current environment and I don’t think Sam has a chance either. Let’s just scoot ahead to next year-he’ll be under a new head coach, a new coordinator and starting from scratch again. His career is being set up to fail.
-Not so with lover of the long ball Justin Herbert-your very latest QB1 in fantasy. Tyrod, we hardly knew ya. Suffice to say, I think the Chargers coaching staff didn’t know what they had on their hands.
-Baker Mayfield did himself a huge favor by having a huge game and thereby fends off the local media, otherwise known as the Cleveland Wolves.
TO THE GAME!
Bears/Rams:
I didn’t see the Bears going 5-1 but in my defense I wasn’t paying them any attention whatsoever. Are the squonkiest one loss team around? Surely they are. That D can’t carry sub-sub par quarterbacking all season long, can they? Seems like fans are walking on eggshells hoping he catches fire again at some point. I spoke up above about qb’s in bad environments and Goff is my best example of a fella that thrives when there’s a slight improvement in o-line play. Credit to McVay and Co. for not jumping the gun and dissembling the line or buying something shiny on the free agent market. They just TRUSTED THE PROCESS.
Have at it.
If that ball had been five yards further it would have been over his head, you moron!
Oo, do we get Goff derp and McVay face? That would be a welcome change of pace
The Bears haven’t had a decent offense since the rest of the league discovered bear spray
Axe body spray will drive them away too
Axe body spray: when you are so sexy but need to be even more sexy for all the ladies.
What’s wrong with this picture?
My opponent has the Bears D
You’re in a hairy situation, to be sure.
Yet Yahoo says I have a 99% chance of winning. Total BS.
Bear Party!
Why the Bears gotta celebrate like they just won the game?
lol nobody gave a shit about his celebration
Not a good sign for CHI that RAMMIT is literally celebrating conceding three.
Bears o really tripping over their own dicks tonight
Well, when they’re as big as Nick’s, that’s understandable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYKIcnj1MJY
It’s a Happy Brocky Halloween!
Seriously, thank you!
it’s a coping mechanism at this point
You spelled ‘hoping’ wrong.
Fun Fact: Jimmy Graham once played professional football
That’s for a paycheck.
I wonder which sport is his true passion….
I know you’re all tense about the Saskatchewan election results tonight. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil it.
Woodchuck beats Moose in a stunner.
Moose attacks are ultimately what sunk it.
Gumby and I dropped our ballots off today in the drop box at the library. Voting feels good.
Rams unis have proven pretty solid.
Their logo is an absolute disaster.
It’s growing on me, for some reason.
This guy’s current condition is a tough read.
His idea of a tough read is, “Red Fish, Blue Fish, One Fish, Two Fish”.
You know what this game calls for? The Poochie episode of The Simpsons.
I have legit never wanted to fight a coach before tonight, but nagy is making me want to throw hands
When he’s really far away, he’ll probably just run
Did i just hear the announcer say university of Vagina?
I WISH I went to the University of Vagina!!
I applied and got into Cal Poly Pomona for engineering school. It’s one of the best. Then I got into UCLA and that was that.
I still remember the cow smell…
Ha ha ha!
I had to settle for matriculating at Grundle Community College.
I applied to the University of Vagina, but the Registrar kept transferring me to nearby Clittoris College.
Oral Roberts credits didnt carry over?
Oral Roberts had a, uh, “different” curriculum. Let’s just say they didn’t cover the same area as U. Va-CC
Well, I did not see a University of Regina reference coming
The Tongan family down the street is having their yearly BBQ on Saturday. No invite this year but they just came by to say they’ll drop us off a few plate – Covid and all. I got to make sure to tell the Samoans. These guys love to 1 up each other.
Also, if Haku is representative of Tongan fighting prowess, I’d avoid any direct confrontation
https://www.thesportster.com/wrestling/top-15-insane-stories-that-prove-menghaku-was-the-toughest-wrestler-ever/
Some might find the devotion the Bears, who are averaging -2 yards a rush, have to the run this game endearing.
they TOTES won’t be expecting it!
Ron Howard voice – They were definitely expecting it.
Pyhrric replay win? THAT’S SO BEARISTOCRATS!
the 4th down pitch should be outlawed
But what if there are runners in the crease?
Its a bear necessity
If movie comedies showed bewbs like the 80s and 90s, she would absolutely be perfect for random hot chick who has her shirt hilariously ripped off to show off her magnificent knockers.
Stupid PC culture
No, i need the Bears to score to keep the RAMMMIIITT offense fully operational
holy shit that catch
85% the fact those gloves when new and lightly wet are like glue
Good lord, that Bears QB statistic makes me feel better about the post-Marino Dolphins
Also demonstrated the maxim “You always think you can do better than Catler, then see what happens when a C-minus GM tries.”
Oh I have always known that Cutler has been the best option available for the Bears.
Henne beat the jets. And the gawd Chad Pennington vs the Virgin Cleo Lemon
Apparently Steve Cohen buying the Dirt Jets is on hold because he employed a felon in his hedge fund and Citi Field is on city property. This sounds like bullshit but, if this fell through, it would be supremely Metsy.
“We like our felons not to be caught”
Wall Street
Getting caught = stupid
I see we’ve reached the end of the competitive Bears illusion
It lasted longer than I expected
That IS what she said!
Ol’ Nick done stepped on that big dick.
Is it just me, or is this game pretty boring?
Is there a game going on? Has anyone told Chicago?
Rams fans might be enjoying it, but I agree.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! competence is that way. When they are a shitshow, much more entertaining.
“Lily” working back at ATT on the floor is such a 2020 thing she probably worked her ass off got a better job but Covid happened and she was laid off leaving her with only one last ditch effort to come climbing back to ATT. Sure she now has the experience to be a manager there… but sexism and covid is keeping here back at that entry level position.
well maybe if she published some topless photos, people would notice
I would like to subscribe to your soft porn office politics-centric podcast. Please send me the deets.
So th eAT&T gal got a haircut.
I am diamond hard.
Shannon Elizabeth?
thanks for the intro to month of macabre
jack frost (1997 horror film) is most notable for its release only a few months before the 1998 michael Keaton film, other than that it features a killer snowman raping poor shannon
huh bears in the redzone….. this should be….
*sees interception***
god damn it
jinkies or whatever
Volleyball interception
If you send me a Xmas card, fuck you.
If you send me a Xmas card with your family dressed in matching outfits, you are dead by New Year’s Eve.
If you send me an Xmas card and you guys are dressed like Santa, I will skin your family alive, tan their hides, and wear them at my Fourth of July Party.
I prefer the Futurama version of Xmas
?itok=9BT3QICe
One of my all time favorites. My youngest think it’s hilarious
The War on Christmas: First Blood
Hot take: There is a war on Christmas, but it’s a defensive war. Thanksgiving has been steadily losing ground, and if it gets to Halloween, it’s all over.
Dude, it’s already taken Halloween, I’ve gotten multiple Black Friday sale emails already and I swear I heard carols at the supermarket the other day
If it comes for Columbus Day we go to the mattresses!
Have got the matching outfit card along with a generic “this is what we did this year” letter. Lol
Love the recap letter. Funny how the Mormon neighbors left out Chad coming out of the closet
Mormons can pull off the trick of simultaneously being genuinely nice and super judgmental way better than evangelicals
In my 61 years, I’ve never sent a single Xmas card. I’m really weak on birthday cards too, probably been a couple decades on that.
I did it for the first 2 years of my kid’s life with baby pictures, figured they got the idea, and never bought another card.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRbAdQxu6Is
“Rams punter makes his political leanings known by landing kick on the Chicago Seven!”
*yard line
It would really be cool if he could do the same thing when the Rams play Seattle.
https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/how-a-protest-spawned-the-seattle-seven-a-contentious-court-battle-and-the-big-lebowski/
Ok, I chose to do yoga during the first half, here now
might want to go back to it
That’ll do, Down Dog, that’ll do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0LF0zadDxI&ab
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Remember people Friday is basically end of month. Turn in your receipts w/correct coding, any timesheet fixes and for sales – NO sandbagging!
Spur wants to get drunk early on Friday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZUcBaeV0Y4
What should the angle be on the staple on my TPS report?
another Dinosaur. Scan your reports to TPS mailbox!
Where is that mailbox* located? I can drop it off on my way home
*Have had this type of conversation as an IT type
The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat, provided that the maxis of the asses, and the gravity of the cavity, remain constant.
Perfect!
Hard seltzer drinks are the wine coolers of the 2020’s.
People who drink them should be dragged behind wild boars.
I’m not sure I can agree with that. Wine coolers actually had some flavor to them. I don’t know why anybody would drink hard seltzer.
https://youtu.be/R8Bg94VdEZo?t=6
Because it’s in the fridge, and there’s nothing else to drink.
If I wanted a buzz that bad, I’d lick the freon tube on my HVAC unit
Chugging Listerine is probably better, and cheaper.
Listerine…the dip for alcoholics
My parents bought a ranch west of San Antonio in 1999. It was still a dry county at the time. Apparently the previous owner was a total alcoholic; in the pumphouse by the cistern we found a pile of a couple hundred empty bottles of Walmart brand mouthwash.
At least you die with a mouth free of bacteria
What if I make my own because I’m out of tonic water?
I think of them more like Zima
do you… d you put jolly ranchers into them too?
People who drink them should be
dragged behindeaten alive by wild boars.Folks!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiwKb-x7wXQ&ab
Nice!
What a difference a week makes. If i was livestock, i would have been shot and eaten already. nice marbling.
last funny:
*stepping on the moon’s surface wearing socks* Oh god dammit
(Explodes)
*steps on lunar lego*
OW!
Dirty Work is highly underrated and Bob Saget’s greatest contribution to the Arts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG9EDE_bnws
Uhh you spelled “Steely Dan” wrong.
Baby Gorilla
agreed. discovered this movie on accident through comcast on demand.
me and my brother quote the “G SEVOOOOON!” way too much
Bob Saget’s biggest contribution is his part in Half Baked
Cooooolest motherfcker in teh galaxy
Jesus god, there’s a drug for people with sweaty hands.
I should have packaged up talcum powder and sold it to them.
George Pardo goes to bed every night under a blanket made of puppy’s ears.
I’m going to roll a hooker in COVID, dress her in leather, and send her to Berman. Please, die you fucking shitpile.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avnlVqtAVsc
Not sure he can get her to breathe hard enough in the fastest 2mins in escortdom
Berman reminds me of my uncles sitting around being senile drunks watching football.
halftime
She’s not bad, it’s just that her bra and panties were drawn that way.
The only struggle in this game is if I have the strength to finish watching it
Little known history fact – it wasn’t about being rejected by art skool, but rather, supporting the Bearistocrats!