Your “It’s All Golden” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

TO THE GAMES!

Raiders/Chargers:

That durn rook qb Herbert is 4th in the league in QB rating while passing on third downs. It wasn’t supposed to be this easy but the slipper keeps on fitting. The Raiders don’t defend outside the numbers very well so wr Williams might see some action and your sneaky play is Jalen Guyton who ran 40+ routes last week. He’s leading the league in yards per reception at a gaudy 29. As you might expect, his YAC is enormous. (that sounds, umm, odd)

Steelers/Cowboys:

I heard a satellite radio fantasy talker guy say, “the Steelers sometimes don’t show up for big games”. HOW IS THIS A ‘BIG GAME’? Anyhoo, since Prescott went down Zeke has been RB36, just behind the likes of Philip “just the one ‘l’, please” Lindsay and J.D. McKissic. I guess he’s finally full-full of ballast, amirite? He’s listed as questionable and if you’re able to trade him away you should because there are only 2 easy games-Minny and Cincy-left on the sked. As for someone trending upward, look no further than Conner. He’s RB12 right now and he has the Bengals and Jags after this cakewalk.

Fins/Cards:

Miami’s D has slowly ticked upward and that has a lot to do with cb’s Jones and Howard being healthy at the same time. Still, it looks like the Cards get premo blocking te Maxx Williams back and Chase Edmonds has the rock. He does very well when he gets more than 14 carries in a game. The Cards love to run from a two te set and the Fins rank 30th when trying to defend the run from that formation. I don’t expect Miami to score many points on O because their rb position is a mess and because Tua didn’t exactly Herbert himself out there last week.

Go get ’em.

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Doktor Zymm

Seems like it would be advantageous to agree beforehand on a play to be run when you would normally spike the ball

Horatio Cornblower

That lass pass was thrown 3 yards short of the end zone, so that’s encouraging.

King Hippo

I mean, just put some air on it. That reffing crew likes a good BLEERGH.

Unsurprised

Hmm.

Only six quarterbacks have ever thrown 81 TDs in their first 40 starts.

Patrick Mahomes 101
Dan Marino 93
Kurt Warner 90
Daryle Lamonica 83
Tony Romo 81
Johnny Unitas 81

And before you say it's "the era" those QBs began their careers in 2017, 1983, 1999, 1963, 2006, and 1956.

— Taylor Witt 🍥 (@Taylor_Witt) November 8, 2020

Doktor Zymm

How will this Cowpoker drive end?
a) Field Goal
b) Interception
c) Punt
d) Clock runs out

Unsurprised

E) All of the above

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas coaching staff talking McCarthy out of going for the FG and then an onsides kick.

hippofant

Honestly, I want Dallas and Pittsburgh to lose, and Miami and Arizona to win. I’m not sure how that can be arranged, but I want it.

King Hippo

In no way, shape, or form do you kick here.

King Hippo

/but then also don’t leave a guy open down the sideline, 30 yards downfield. IDIOTS.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s not going to matter.

Horatio Cornblower

If Mike McCarthy put half the energy into coaching that he does screaming at officials after his QB got sacked for the eleventeenth time, the Cowboys would be an unstoppable juggernaut.

hippofant

Oooo, was that a horsecollar? I think that might have been a horsecollar.

Gratliff

Fire Mike McCarthy, but think better of it later that evening, and hire him again with a contract extension

Horatio Cornblower

You go to hell.

King Hippo

Did you notice that he’s gotten even fatter? Because he’s totes got even fatter.

Horatio Cornblower

In fairness, have you had Texas brisket!?

Gratliff

Since last week.

King Hippo

Koach Kliff has titties, and it freaks me out.

hippofant

Reading the DFO thread from last night and saw a comment from bk109 being excited about Bioware working on a FOURTH Mass Effect game.

I miss when we could be that hopeful about the world.

Gratliff

Can’t believe everyone’s disrespecting Andromeda like this

Doktor Zymm

*Clears throat, puts on serious face* Do you…*giggle, ahem* Do you think the Cowboys can regain the lead? *snort, uncontrollable laughter*

Gratliff

Think Ebron did that to the Eagles too

Doktor Zymm

Can Gritty start coming to Eagles games?

King Hippo

That replay review will be a womp womp. He bobbled it.

Doktor Zymm

Although thanks to him I have learned some interesting parboiled ham recipes

King Hippo

#NEVARStopLarnin

rockingdog

phuck u spanos

Doktor Zymm

I assume Mike Williams would have had that if he didn’t break during the play

King Hippo

Clips should run a QB draw here. It’d work.

WCS

19-18 has to be some kind of scoragomi.

King Hippo

Gotta go for it, Yinz.

Unsurprised

And as far as all the firearms and explosives being stockpiled in the locker room, I have no comment. 

Does he not know he’s in Texas?

Last edited 4 months ago by Unsurprised
King Hippo

I mean, if the Clips’ 8th string RB ain’t go to Ball So Hard University, what a waste.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

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Joliet Jake Delhomme

This is what you get for afternoon football in Arizona.

WCS

BLEERGH FEASTS

Doktor Zymm

I contend that the PIT/DAL game, while not the anticipated snuff film, is still hilarious

Horatio Cornblower

Whaddya mean ya can’t just knock the receivers over!?

Doktor Zymm

We probably would have held on to more Pacific colonies if we realized how many talented football (and rugby) players would grow up there

Joliet Jake Delhomme

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Joliet Jake Delhomme

I’m pretty sure she works at Raiders Reef here in Tucson.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As long as Zeke is unhappy, I’m happy.

Doktor Zymm

Huzzah!

Horatio Cornblower

Added bonus is that Ol’ Double J probably isn’t happy either.

Doktor Zymm

“Who’s Intercepting Gilbert Grape?”

Horatio Cornblower

Goddammit, Zymm, how long were you sitting on that gem?

King Hippo

To be fair, he’s a comedian filling in at QB. You can’t expect him to know the rules that well.

Dunstan

I’m just waiting for him to yell “AFLAC!” as an audible.

Gratliff

SHIT. I don’t have the Dallas QB name memorized to make joke calls

Horatio Cornblower

“Blue salami”?

That can’t possibly be good.

Doktor Zymm

What is that, an Al Franken pickup line?

Horatio Cornblower

Could have sworn it was a Dallas audible a few plays back.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Pittsburgh thought they ate a smart pill, but I guess it was just a goat turd.

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas’s ST seem really good, which I can only assume is the product of having received so many kicks this year.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Practice practice practise.

King Hippo

Unless this is a squib, semi-onside kick…I don’t get why PIT didn’t go for two after that BLEERGH.

WCS

SHANKLOR FEASTS

Viva La Tabula Raza

Does an actual block still get attributed to SHANKLOR? That’s like Trump taking credit for an Obama achievement.

Doktor Zymm

SHANKLOR’S WILL MANIFESTS ITSELF IN MANY WAYS

Horatio Cornblower

Look at that, a one score game.

Redshirt

Oh good, the Steelers will be pissed off for next week’s game. Is it too early to start drinking?

Doktor Zymm

Never!

hippofant

Pretty sure you’re supposed to start as soon as you move to Cincinnati.

Horatio Cornblower

Just to get this one record, I wrote “Game over” in my Greggggggggggg endorsed notebook when McCarthy failed to go for it on 4th and inches.

Horatio Cornblower

“Ben usually hits that in his sleep.”

Just too bad he takes to same approach to dating.

Horatio Cornblower

Do not kick the FG here. You are 2-6 and have nothing to lose.

Horatio Cornblower

McCarthy you fat cowardly piece of shit.

Doktor Zymm

Two-score *wanking motion* lead

Horatio Cornblower

Gee, I wonder if the 7-0 Steelers are capable of two scores in 15+ minutes.

Game Time Decision

He’s going FG for sure

Horatio Cornblower

I had no reason to justify any hope otherwise.

Doktor Zymm

So they just call him Tua because they’re too lazy to learn how to pronounce his last name?

Dunstan

I can relate. There’s a reason I only refer to Pittsburgh’s QB as “Ben” or “Rapey.”

Horatio Cornblower

Elliott is still doing the “feed me” thing with a 2-6 record, in case you were wondering if he’d ever knock that off.

Doktor Zymm

I wondered why he ever knocked it on