Your Sunny Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

The sun is out here so it must be out everywhere. That’s the kind of rock-solid logic you can take to the bank, mister.

TO THE GAMES!

Panthers/Chiefs:

I mean, this one was over as soon as the sked was revealed, right? Carolina defends the long ball well so look for Mahomes to take what he is given underneath. (bodes well for the rb’s) Now here is where it gets funny-if the Panthers successfully defend the long ball and limit plays underneath that means that the defense with the most amount of missed tackles will then have to shine. Nope. McCaffrey and his beaver brown band is back.

Broncos/Falcons:

Denver has a great coverage unit but old Julio is kinda bulletproof. With Ridley out Gage (he has the third most yards among wr3’s) and Christian Blake will see some as well. Atlanta can’t defend the te so Fant is in play-if he gets at least 5 targets the odds are that he’ll also get a TD.

Seahawks/Bills:

It seemed like MVP talk involving Josh Allen happened a long time ago. The first 4 weeks of the year he was QB2, the last 4 weeks he’s been QB13. There is good news for him today though-the Hawks have allowed more rushing TD’s to his spot than any other team. Neither of these teams can stop the talent out there so, PLAY ‘EM ALL!

Bears/Titans:

Both teams are coming off 2 straight losses but I have faith in the Titans (Survivor!) Besides, at the time I called the 5-1 Bears the weakest in the league and they’re just obeying me. Chicago has allowed the most 15+ rushing gains so far this year and well, well, look who has the third most in the league? I think Henry has himself a game if he can get to the second level a few times. The Bears also give up tons of yards to te’s so Jonnu might be in play.

Ravens/Colts:

Those of you (like me) that have been sitting on Dobbins all year can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. A hundy vs the Steelers and a 33% missed tackle number surely means that he gets the lion’s share of carries going forward, right? Woo boy, according to PFF, since last year Rivers has thrown (in a noodly fashion) 42 turnover-worthy passes-that ties him with the one and only Dimes.

Lions/Vikes:

Good news for Minny-without Golladay on the field his QB rating takes a swan dive. He’ll still do some tossing so Marvin Jones is playable but your sneaky start might be Marvin Hall who went for 114 last week. As for Cook, he owns the Lions so he going for 125 and 2 for sure.

Giants/Team:

Many pundits are telling the air that Team’s d-line will crush today but if any unit of the Giants is showing improvement it’s the o-line. They were supposed to have their collective heads clobbered vs Tampa and it didn’t happen. Thing is, they’re doing it with 3 rooks. Weird! Don’t be afraid to start McLaurin-in the first meeting, of the 12 targets he had he was defended by Bradberry only twice.

Texans/Jags:

Let’s all welcome Jake Luton aboard. As far as debuts are concerned you couldn’t ask for an easier one here. His draft assessment tells us that he has a much stronger arm than Minshew but that he’s also a guy that doesn’t take a lot of risks. So maybe fade Chark (he’s being covered by Robey also) and take a swing at Laviska Shenault. A super sneaky play might be Jordan Akins because the Jags have surrendered 7 TD’s to te’s.

 

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King Hippo

Russell Wilson really is patently unfair sometimes.

litre_cola

Hair of the dog and all that, it’s wine time!

Doktor Zymm

I just received a text survey from MDC asking if I believed there had been voter fraud. I’m guessing it’s not Millions of Dead Cops, so who or what is MDC?

herodotus450

Maryland Democrats for Christ?

Game Time Decision

Milking dead cows

Dunstan

Milking Dumb Conservatives?

Game Time Decision

Maritime defence Council

Dunstan

Massive Denial Complex

ThePirateSloth

Seattle isn’t going to make any adjustments, they’re the last in the NFL.

herodotus450

who or what is a “Jake Luton”?

Doktor Zymm

An old fashioned farm horse name is actually not a bad fit for a RB

King Hippo

Ah wish ah could quit yeeeewwww. – Josh Allen to his maddening, week-to-week inconsistency

Horatio Cornblower

Lord Hugh Mungus Retweeted
comment image
Village Person
@SvnSxty
·
49m

*pearly gates*

St. Peter: *humming the final jeopardy song as he looks through a file*

Alex Trebek: hilarious

4

104

665

Gratliff

Roy Williams spent the last 5 years of his career getting penalized for the rule they made for him and yet somehow people still do it

rockingdog

come on Washington football
throw it to MCLAURIN!!!!

ThePirateSloth

Oof, that looked like a horse collar to me

Spur

Bills have decided to use Singletary. Awesome.

King Hippo

Fat kicker probably felt body shamed by today’s Fuck Lions uniform shirt.

Doktor Zymm

It would be pretty neat if someone managed a clean jump over the crowd at goal line

King Hippo

Good on Matt Rhule. You need to understand what kind of game you are in. Chip shot FGs against the Chefs = no fucking chance.

ThePirateSloth

WHOOO WE’RE NUMBER 32! NUMBER 32! WHOOOO!

Wakezilla

Good morning/afternoon. Holy shit, it’s a tit not nippley outside.

I’m still watching the Scousers play Man Shitty.

THIS PEP GUARDIOLA, I CALL HIM A FILIPINA HOUSE SERVANT BECAUSE HE LOOKS BORED AND WANTS TO LEAVE BUT HIS QATARI MASTERS WON’T RETURN HIM HIS PASSPORT

Horatio Cornblower

My wife is now convinced that Betty White is going to die, because “these things come in threes”, and Sean Connery and now Trebek have recently passed.

Anyway, rather than sit here and listen to more of this, I’m going out to get beer.

Gratliff

Betty White’s 98. That’s not exactly a bold prediction. Just hearing the word COVID might do it

Gratliff

Philly could actually be .500 after next week, especially since they’re playing the Giants again. It will set me up nicely for the 5 consecutive losses that will follow it (@Browns, Seahawks, @Packers, Saints, @Cardinals)

King Hippo

Which should keep you 1.5 games up over 2nd place

Gratliff

Well, they finish the season with Dallas and Washington, so I’m already making plans for the Super Bowl

Doktor Zymm

I feel like the odds are against any NFC East team hitting .500 this season

ThePirateSloth

I’m hoping the winner of the NFC East is 7-9 and beats the Saints in the first round!

Horatio Cornblower

7-9 seems wildly optimistic.

Doktor Zymm

Only if Marshawn Lynch agrees to play for whichever team for just that game

Doktor Zymm

So, I actually have the option to go watch the late games or SNF in a bar. County is at 25% indoor dining, and that includes the bar portion of the Seafood place right by where I’m staying in Pacifica.

Gratliff

Gints-nee Slurs because Philly-Dallas was too competent

King Hippo

PEAK NFC EAST

King Hippo

Too Many Cooks?

NAE, needs even MOAR!!

Gratliff

All of Detroit’s unis are gorgeous or abominations. There is no in-between.

Gratliff

It’s currently 75 degrees in mid-Michigan and 60 degrees in San Diego in mid-November. We have fucked this planet up so bad.

Spur

Morning Folks

Gratliff

Wow, Dallas didn’t forfeit today’s game. That may end up being a bad idea.

Doktor Zymm

I’m guessing Trump will give a gracious concession speech before and NFL team forfeits

Horatio Cornblower

RIP Alex Trebek.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll pour out a Labatt’s.

Because I’m certainly not going to drink one.

King Hippo

mourn ya tills I joins ya, eh?

litre_cola

That will teach you to exercise.

Game Time Decision

Too nice of a day not to be outside

Game Time Decision

Yep. Going with the heavy 473ml curls today

Doktor Zymm

Weird definition of “won’t bite”

Horatio Cornblower

Was the dog on a leash? Because if he was, the owner’s an idiot for not controlling him, and if he wasn’t, the owner’s an idiot for not having a bitey dog on a leash. What I’m saying is, that guy’s an idiot.

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO STORY – was a bit out of it (wonder why), sitting in passenger seat with door open. Claire told me there was a dog beside me, I turned my head and an unleashed pit bull was within like 4 feet. I exclaimed, but managed not to shit my pants.

/turns out, this was a very friendly Pit (and quite smart-looking) whose owner said she was always super excited to get near my townhouse, because of my cats. Said Callie (the dog) really got on great with “the grey one” (grandson Noodles), though “the orange one” (son Kruger) still kept his distance a bit – but was curious and slowly becoming friends.

//really was heartened by this brief neighboUrly interaction

Last edited 4 months ago by King Hippo
Doktor Zymm

I really don’t know how Pitties got such a bad rep. The sweetest, best behaved dogs I’ve met have mostly been Pits

King Hippo

The only one I had previously met was owned by my Pakistani high school friend. It was cautiously pleasant when Nadeem was around, but he warned us in no event make direct eye contact – especially if he wasn’t in the immediate vicinity.

Doktor Zymm

Just had a nice walk by the beach in high winds. Free exfoliation!

herodotus450

Supposedly the rule is that you can only appear on Jeopardy! once per host; that means my girl Pam is coming back!

Horatio Cornblower

There’s the loophole I’ve been waiting for since ’98!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RIP, Alex Trebek. I’m glad you got to stick around and see the happy ending of America’s Final Jeopardy.

King Hippo

BANNER

litre_cola

Alex Trebek passed away. Fucking hell.

herodotus450

He was just waiting for Connery to go first.

SonOfSpam

“Your mother always let me go first too, Trebek”

-Sean Connery

SonOfSpam

2020: I’ll let you idiots have one good day, but then I take Trebek.

Horatio Cornblower

I told my wife that at least Trebek lived long enough to see Trump lose.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Lions starting Stafford on zero practice this week is bullshit

/Drops Chase Daniel

Horatio Cornblower

If it makes you feel any better I just had to bench Chris Carson and grab Seattle 3rd string RB while also dropping some other RB to pick up Tony Pollard and am hovering over the bench Zeke Elliott button while the Cowboys decide if his hammy still works, and none of it matters because Steelers-Cowboys is gonna be a snuff film and those are still my best options.

litre_cola

Whoa, blacked out and slept for 12 hours. Guess I needed it.

rockingdog

found a funny:

Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job?

Me: Because of something my boss said

Interviewer: It says here you were fired

Me: That’s the thing he said

rockingdog

Is Saints WR Michael Thomas gonna play tonight?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

— Eli Manning, trying to arrange a Fortnite session

King Hippo

Rotowire says he is trending toward playing.

Redshirt

Team is on bye week. Football team isn’t playing. Reality is starting to resurface. The walls are closing in. WHO PUT THIS SKIN ON MY ARM?!?!?!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s fun explaining to the mortgage guy making a cold call the reasons why our income won’t support a refinance and saving both of us the time. I wish people would do their research before bugging me.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

By the way, if YOU can handle a refinance, you should really look into it. Mortgage rates are insanely low.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Waking up Sunday morning with a hangover, making futile changes to my fantasy lineup…it sort of feels like life is getting back to normal already.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish I was. Man, that’s a great name for a fantasy team.

litre_cola

Zymm

Doktor Zymm

Yup, that’s me

Game Time Decision

I need a cheat sheet of who is who. Can figure out a few but not many

Redshirt

Too soon?

comment image

yeah right

And Baker Mayfield has the covid. Adjust your fantasy lineups accordingly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

COVID-19 doesn’t take bye weeks.

yeah right

While I’ll obviously watch my boys vs Detroit, that Baltimore vs Humps game has sneaky potential. I took Indy in the pickem pool at work.

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