Your “I Hope You Like Fireworks” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

I just jinxed it, didn’t I? You can blame me after the game when you look at Hopkins’ 3 catches, 45 yards stat line. The game does look promising and there a number of quality tilts on offer this weekend. (unlike the first two “Point and Laugh” games featured on Thanksgiving)

Newsy Notes:

-The Giants have an new offensive line coach! They’d been slowly improving and a New York-centric podcast had noted that Judge had been spending quite a bit of time with the unit. He’d also gone ahead and hired a consultant by name of Dave DeGlugielmo to help Marc Colombo along. I guess when the latter heard the news there was a ‘wordy kerfuffle’ and someone lost their job. I think it has been very well established that questioning Judge’s judgement is verboten these days so, so long.

Bruce Arians, when questioned about our fave nutball wr said to the  reporters gathered, “He’s a model citizen-everyone here has gotten angry at some time. If you haven’t, I invite you to cast the first bike.”

-The Raiders now have 11 players on their Covid list. Wasn’t The Grinder fined some shekels a while ago for not following protocols? Weird how these things happen.

TO THE GAME!

Cards/Seahawks:

-Carson is out but Hyde be in. Perhaps some semblance of a running game might halt Seattle’s “lost 3 of the last 4” slide.

-The twice-baked failure pie that is the Seahawks D didn’t have a sack or even a hit on Murray the last time they interacted. They give up around 57.1 fantasy points each week to opposing wr’s, a number that is 11 points more than the next-worst team. So… “Play ‘Em All!”

-Much like some of the models Unsurprised likes to post, this NFC West division is very top-heavy. The Rams D and offensive line has really gelled the last few weeks and the Cards still have to play them twice. If Seattle wins this one they get a Fluffer’s Row of Philly, both NY teams and Team and they should be looking pretty.

-Are you kinda disappointed in Drake/Edmonds production? Well, Arizonny has 15 TD’s on the ground so far and the Kyler kid has 10 of them. Ball hogger. Can’t do that in baseball, buddy.

-Reminder, last time around Lockett went bananas-200 yds and 3 TD’s. DK was not OK because PP shadowed him and he ended up with 23 yards gained.

-Is Wilson forcing it too much? The most interceptions he’s had in a year was 11 and he’s at 10 already.

Type as though you’re staving off boredom.

/Hey, there’s a Tulane/Tulsa game on at 7:30 if you can’t wait for footed ball

 

 

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Brick Meathook

My Goodness! It is 2:00 AM here on the coast of Southern California and it is thick Pacific pea-soup fog out there and so beautiful. I can hear the fog horns at Marina del Rey and at the Chevron oil-tanker piers off of El Segundo.

Doktor Zymm

“Starting a new game of Civ at 11:33 pm on a work night is TOTALLY a good idea,” she said, not believing herself for a moment

yeah right

The last episode of Fargo was incredible. It rift note for note the last scene of A Simple Man. It really pays off for us fans of the Coen Brothers. Great goddamn show.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, quite a departure from previous episodes. Only sour note to me is that the story takes place in November to December (so far), and tornado season is mid-April through mid-June.

Beerguyrob

Reading through all the comments after missing most of the game due to work. Good jorb everyone!

Also, I have broken my autocorrect so it now accepts jorb. Yay me!

Doktor Zymm

Woohoo life goals!

Doktor Zymm
Brick Meathook

Michael Vick shall now show you how to twist a dog’s head off.

Clipboard Jesus

Now to enjoy a weekend of stress free football watching!

Recovery Whiskey

Worst 7-3 in the league and not sorry

King Hippo

there shall be no Most Glorious Draw, so sad

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yea, a free extra quarter would have been nice.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck this game. Oh well.

Recovery Whiskey

Game. Over.

hippofant

There are a lot of Cardinal receivers running like 2-second routes, and then just standing there while Kyler scrambles. It’s like they don’t scramble drill or nothing.

Sharkbait

Come on free football!

King Hippo

these are the two sides who gave us the Most Glorious 6-6 draw on SNF a few years back!

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Jet fuel can’t melt face masks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t blame me, i voted for kodos

Brick Meathook

Don’t blame me, I’m snorting coke.

Recovery Whiskey

Happy little Friday

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t get hangovers any more, no matter how much I drink. My Uncle Bob the Boozer, who spent the last 30 years of his life in AA, told me that lack of hangovers was a pretty good sign that you’re an alcoholic. This kind of worries me.

Doktor Zymm

Nah, I’ve never consistently gotten hangovers and I know people who are legit alcoholics who get them frequently. Yes it’s a sign you might be an alcoholic, but there are enough other causes of not getting hangovers that it’s far from foolproof

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s nice to know, because I don’t have any current plans to reduce my intake. Maybe in 2021.

Unsurprised

I’ve never gotten a hangover and I am not an alcoholic per se, but I’m sure I have an addictive personality as evidenced by my consumption of anything and everything else.

King Hippo

28 the hard way, coming right up!

Recovery Whiskey

Yep

Recovery Whiskey

Challenging Arizona. Trump coaching confirmed

Viva La Tabula Raza

OPE POE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/swigs scotch and rainwater

Clipboard Jesus

Seahawks making sure to not have a normal game.

Recovery Whiskey

As is tradition

Sharkbait

Bad challenge is bad

Viva La Tabula Raza

dumbass KK

King Hippo

they were gonna call timeout regardless, so no harm no foul

Viva La Tabula Raza

#96 Plumber’s ass!

Recovery Whiskey

Hammy

Doktor Zymm

The moon is no longer over his hammy

rockingdog

gahhh damin
i now regret benchin Chase Edmonds….

Recovery Whiskey

Listening to my boomer inlaws justifying thanksgiving in person despite all scientific reasons otherwise

clint greasewood

comment image

Gumbygirl

I loved those as a kid, but my tastebuds grew about the same time as my boobs, and I realized that’s what sadness tastes like.

Doktor Zymm

I loved the Salisbury steak meal, can’t imagine eating it now

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Your boobs taste like sadness? Poor Gumby.

Gumbygirl

They taste like ambrosia, and Gumby’s a lucky man!

Gumbygirl

They look a little sad, but I’m 60.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Doktor Zymm

As long as they aren’t thankful for their risk assessment skills

Brick Meathook

I’m curious: do any of the TV commercials during NFL games bear any resemblance to the real life that you exist in?

Sharkbait

Oh yeah. Mrs Sharkbait and I buy matching trucks for each other. The Lexus with the giant bows just got so played out.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hippo takes a lot of random pharmaceuticals….

King Hippo

/no giant plastic smile tho

//nor am I HAWT

Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe when they show people overeating unhealthy food.

Doktor Zymm

I would have to pay attention to them to find out, but probably not.

Recovery Whiskey

Carroll’s masked up

clint greasewood

comment image

Sharkbait

Biodome. That’s a throwback

Viva La Tabula Raza

Massive stepping on of dick.

Recovery Whiskey

Safety Dance

Mr. Ayo

SAFETY DANCE!

Recovery Whiskey

Intentional Groundling

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Intentional Gelding

Recovery Whiskey

John Elway appreciation thread

Sharkbait

Sandworm. It’s about State sponsored hacking groups. The title comes from the group behind the Not Petya attack, which hit Kiev, but spread around the world.

Sandworm is a subset of Fancy Bear, and Fancy Bear is the Russians.

It also talks about how vulnerable industrial control systems are, and attacks on those can be fucking terrifying.

Brick Meathook

“War As I Knew It” by General George S Patton Jr.

Among other things, he explains why slapping soldiers in the hospital is a good idea, and he makes a good case.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

After all y’all recommended it, i finally started The Last Policeman. Good stuff so far, just need some more free time.

Doktor Zymm

I’m reading “Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead” by Olga Tokarczuk

Good so far, very stylized

Doktor Zymm

What did you think? I’m not very far in

Doktor Zymm

Nice to know I won’t be disappointed 🙂

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, am I supposed to know who the guy in Corona beachside ads is? All I know is that Snoop is tired of him calling on his shellphone.

Last edited 13 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Comment “Awaiting for Approval.” Please edit properly. It’s either “Awaiting Approval” or “Waiting for Approval.”

Brick Meathook

“LOGIN IN”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The imperfections are what make things beautiful

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t understand any of these responses. Except maybe the Loggins and Messina reference.

Last edited 13 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Doktor Zymm

I love login inning

rockingdog

socks r the new shoes

Viva La Tabula Raza

Boxer briefs are the new dress slacks for work.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Those are called Toobin socks

Doktor Zymm

Bathrobes are the new overcoat

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wow, what a self-inflicted dick shooting this is turning into.
Though that was a nice 19 yard gain.

Sharkbait

Seattle is big on self inflicted gunshots though

Doktor Zymm

I didn’t realize Plaxico was back in the NFL

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just maybe not today.

Recovery Whiskey

Ryan Neal is a beast

Viva La Tabula Raza

He was pretty cool in The Driver. Casting in Paper Moon seemed a little unseemly, though

Last edited 13 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if the players go by the penalized player on the bench and say shit like “Nice job, asshole, you probably just cost us the game and first place in our division. Hope you’re happy, you short-fused fucknuts.”
I would.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I’m amazed it ever happens, they know the consequences

rockingdog

Carlos Hyde
TD babaabababay!

Recovery Whiskey

Cardinals fighting

clint greasewood

Last time I seen that the Vatican was looking for who was going to take the choir boys to the annual overnight camping trip.

SonOfSpam

Atta boy

Viva La Tabula Raza

D-KO! First Down SEATTLE!
Kirkpatrick dumfuck.

Last edited 13 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
ThePirateSloth

It’s really bothering me tonight every time I see my seats empty, I’m angry/sad/furious/depressed/enraged all at once, that we haven’t been able to be at the games, not drinking with my season tickets family, and wondering if all of them are even alive at this fucking point.

Sorry, something something [insert dick joke].

Doktor Zymm

No need to apologize. I think we all have something that elicits those feelings nowadays

Sharkbait

Don’t apologize for that. We’ve all felt that too.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m ripshit at the idiots who not only refused to take this seriously but exacerbated it by saying it was a hoax

hippofant

On the one hand, maybe the vaccine(s) will fix things and the world in general.

On the other hand, these covidiots are probably going to refuse the vaccine anyways because it’s all fake and the vaccine is microchips or autism or some shit.

On the other other hand, people getting the vaccine and coronavirus waning will only confirm their idiotic beliefs that this was all fake to get Biden elected or some shit.

Doktor Zymm

If they refuse the vaccine we can still go back to normal. They just won’t be allowed in public places without their vaccine certification

Viva La Tabula Raza

They can all move to Idaho and Eastern WA/OR.

Doktor Zymm

I say we stuff them onto that island where Fyre Fest was

Doktor Zymm

My dad supported the Cardinals when he was a kid mostly because they beat his brother’s team (the Steelers) pretty frequently. Up until ’64 or so the Cards were waaay ahead in head to head matchups against the Steelers, and they’re actually still above .500

Recovery Whiskey

The Steelers were dogmeat until Chuck Noll

Doktor Zymm

My father’s side of the family is from Erie, so the choices were the Steelers, the Bills (after 1960), or the Browns. Actually, it’s possible the Browns were my uncle’s team, they were actually good then and they did lose the occasional game to the Cards

Recovery Whiskey

Lumen

04C37D11-D3A7-4987-B434-AE03C78A4379.jpeg
Joliet Jake Delhomme

Not Lumen. Lupin.

https://dai.ly/x2nrqgb

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

Clipboard Jesus

I know we’re in the gray season, but that’s no reason to keep shooting yourself Seahawks.

rockingdog

Bang Bang
this turning into a shootout?

Recovery Whiskey

How does The Passenger relate to Arizona

Gumbygirl

I was wondering that myself.