Your “To Taysom Or Not To Taysom? That is the Question.” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

We’re all a bit curious to see how things shake  out down Bourbon Street way, aren’t we? Stupid thoughts to follow…

TO THE GAME!

Eagles/Browns:

Is wr Reagor the next rook to break big? The last 2 weeks his target share has been 23% and 20% and the Browns have given up huge days to eight different wr’s so far this year. Of course, that’s dependant on competent qb play and you’re likely to see none of that here-Mayfield ranks 27th in passing grade, just ahead of Wentz at 28th.

Falcons/Saints:

It’s not really going to be Taysom is it? Football gossipists have spread the news that he was running with the 1st team during the week. How much though? Can he even read opposing defenses? He’s a gadget, one read guy that is 30 years old and has never started a game. Kudos to coach Payton for playing his qb’s so close to his chest but when I thinkify about it, it should be Winston out there. If the latter is out there he should go to Thomas long-he’s thought of as a chain-mover but his catch rate on deep passes last year was an insane 87.5%.

Bengals/Team:

One reason Burrow has been successful so far this year is that after fellow rook Higgins found his feet he’s now tied for 1st in passes caught over 15 yards and is third in contested passes caught with 13. The good news? Cincy has been fantastic at defending the run. The bad? That’s because it’s so easy to pass on them that other teams don’t bother with the ground game that much.

Lions/Panthers:

Who has been sitting on rb Swift all season waiting for him to break out? Moi, that’s who. That Wednesday news that he was suddenly on the injury list was kinda deflating, much like my chances of winning anything in fantasy this year. He’s joined on the bench by Golladay and Amendola and Stafford is banged up as well but will go.

Steelers/Jags:

As someone who is still in Hippo’s survivor money league, I can’t help but think that Pitt is overdue for a stunning, blowout loss. But it can’t happen this week vs the Jags and their wet behind the ears rook qb, can it? But then that would be the definition of stunning, wouldn’t it?

Titans/Ravens:

One of the reasons Baltimore’s passing game is struggling so badly is that the receiver that has the highest target share is frickin’ journeyman Willie Snead. You’ve got te Andrews and Marquise Brown to throw to and you opt for Snead the majority of the time? You brought this on yourself, Lamar. Maybe washed up Dez Bryant is the answer to those woes. [snorts]

Pats/Texans:

Maybe it was the weather, maybe it was Cam’s struggles in the passing game, maybe Bill just likes to run it? Whatever the reason, the Pats went to the ground option a whopping 67% of the time last week. And the Texans rank dead last in yards allowed per run play at 5.2. Speaking of lousy run D you may want to fire up Duke Johnson again despite the egg he laid last week-New England has over the last 4 weeks given up a half first down on every run play.

Do your thing. And I think there’s a inter-site Derby game this morning. Apologies for not getting this up earlier.

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Spur

whats up with youtube on the site now?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WordPress update broke that too.

blaxabbath

Oh so we can’t post videos anymore?

Game Time Decision

You can but they won’t play from here anymore. Have to go to youtube now to watch

Gumbygirl

Now you all live in my sad world.

Game Time Decision

Broke from the latest WordPress update. Among other things

Don T

An all-female Air Force is summin I can get behind. Under any flag.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Something something Shah Guido G.

blaxabbath

Ain’t like the tough manly military we’re rocking has won anything in 75 years.

Losers is an understatement.

Redshirt

Peak Bungles!

Doktor Zymm

Peak everybody!

Sharkbait

That was something

rockingdog

LOL fumble for a saftey

King Hippo

Be funny if Rivera accepted the safety because playing his defense in fantasy.

Don T

TEN Defense looking competent today. Gleeful accidents like this make me wanna get a full-body biopsy.

Don T

And… HOW TA DOIN’ WOOOOO

ArmedandHammered

Wow, Bengals, just wow.

blaxabbath

Just wrapped up this week’s Jalen Ramsey Show. Very pleased with it. Which is usually a good sign that it’s going to bomb out.

Spur

Burrow took a hit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

— Richard Adams

rockingdog

dude got pancaked
hahaha yoooo

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So on a cooking show we were watching last night someone said “mexican street corn” and I misheard it as “mexican street porn” and of course I thought of Balls Of Steel.

Doktor Zymm

Philly’s offense modeling themselves after their 1985 police force and just fire bombing themselves

Sharkbait

If only we could change the banner

blaxabbath

Oh it is stuck?

Redshirt

Its got my vote.

Senor Weaselo

I’m just gonna go ahead and assume that this would be banner material for the 2021 bracket.

Game Time Decision

Phili leading the turnover battle already

litre_cola

Dakota Jesus is testing my patience.

Sharkbait

Peak NFC East right there

rockingdog

found a funny:

Me: *pulls into gas station* just a quick stop for gas!

GPS: wwhat the fukc is happening

Game Time Decision

Recalculating
Recalculating
Recalculating

I want the voice on my GPS to be passive aggressive. Turn right here. If you want.

ArmedandHammered

Mine used to get more strident. It’s like they programmed it to do that in case the driver was deaf.

ArmedandHammered

Sucking a Tart Cherry? Or Sucking a Cherry Tart?

King Hippo

Naut of Scotch, putting the fun back into functional alcoholic

Doktor Zymm

Cherries Suckilee?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Black Mambo Number 5

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lemon Sucking Whore?

ArmedandHammered

Fat Stafford fumble.

Sharkbait

Kelly immediately blames masks somehow

blaxabbath

“MATT’S BECOME A SOCIALIST!”

ArmedandHammered

Just giving everything away!

King Hippo

2-8 squadron (which is still gon’ lose) started the Black Panther defensing unit this week.

Game Time Decision

So there’s a commercial for RBC where the guy is fixing the front of a drawer with a drill. But for the life of me I cannot figure out what he’s doing as any screws would be on the inside for the handle. And then later he pulls on the handle and the whole front face comes off the drawer. The only holes would be where the handle would have been. wtf

Doktor Zymm

Fedex is supposed to bring me a case of wine today, but they said the same thing yesterday so we’ll see…

litre_cola

Delivery wine is the best wine.

Doktor Zymm

I have a Bevmo in the strip mall across the street, like a 5 minute walk or 2 minute drive away, and delivery wine is still superior.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

UPS’ repeated failure to deliver our shipment of wine led to one of my household’s biggest arguments of the pandemic.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah yes, the Los Angeles market is finally being treated to that Falcons-Saints matchup we’ve all been craving.

ALL PRAISE TO [NAME OF RATINGS GOD], SON OF NEIL!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

JUMPER OF SHARKS!

Sharkbait

Need moar Jacoby Meyers pls.

Redshirt

Hey! A.J. Green is still alive!

Redshirt

…or not. Washington is challenging if he’s alive or not.

Redshirt

Bengals Radio REDACTED counter: 2

King Hippo

Was it immediately followed by Suck it, libtards!!!

Redshirt

No, they’re by Dave Lapham. He’s a harmless, loveable color commentator who may or may not be suffering concussion from 1970s NFL.

Senor Weaselo

As there’s a drive deep to left by Castellanos, that’ll be a home run and that will make it a 4-0 ballgame.

litre_cola

I see we are at the point of the day where it is predicted that I lose every single matchup. Huzzah!

Doktor Zymm

Are there people with the surname ‘Runner’?

litre_cola

Aboriginal folks for sure.

King Hippo

There should be an Aboriginal poker player named Runner Runner then

Doktor Zymm

Nothing funner

Senor Weaselo

Homestar?

Doktor Zymm

Team might actually have a chance this week. Bengals are one of the few out of division teams where I don’t immediately assume the NFC East team loses

Redshirt

Hey! The Bengals are undefeated against the NFC East this year!

Doktor Zymm

I mean, the Eagles didn’t lose that game either 😛

King Hippo

GIVE TO MIKE DAVIS ASSHOLES

Sharkbait

THIIIIIIIS

Redshirt

Oh, come on! He moved forward!

Sharkbait

Oh we’re here

*shakes fist at block editor

Last edited 11 days ago by Sharkbait
ArmedandHammered

I always just figure that the first posted thread was the early games.

herodotus450

Washington also changed the field inside the 20 yard line to the “football zone” but no one noticed because their offense hasn’t gotten there yet.

Doktor Zymm

After 10 hours of sleep with crazy weird yet oddly relaxing stress dreams, I’m definitely starting to relax knowing I have a whole week off work.

(I know hearing other people’s dreams isn’t that interesting, but if anyone cares, I was in a Chicago party bus which was hijacked by some sort of Ancap cult or something, which made us fill out surveys about our social attitudes then killed everyone but me and my friend because I helped them with the data analysis for the surveys. Then we lived with them for many years through various internal schisms and escape attempts including sliding down an inclined roof and hiding in a tanning bed)

herodotus450

Seems benign enough, probably nothing to look into further. Now, if there was a cigar in the dream…

litre_cola

Good thing I left Damian Harris on my bench.

herodotus450

(Sees Adrian Peterson is 35, still pretty dang good)
(Eyes long, thin stick sitting on the ground over there)
Hmmmm…

litre_cola

I have 0 clue how it works.

King Hippo

Because Friday night is the last waivers of the week, as clearly stated in by-laws

ArmedandHammered

And don’t HOAs use by-laws? Another reason to hate them.

litre_cola

DO SCOTCHY AND I LOOK LIKE LAWYERS TO YOU?!?!? By-laws, harrumph.

King Hippo

and there are NO WAIVERS during the playoffs, so prepare accordingly

herodotus450

Waivers come in, waivers go out
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Redshirt

Ah, Cincinnati-Washington. The one game every four years where Mike Brown isn’t the worst owner on the field.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mike Brown would pay for that privilege, except, you know, he’s Mike Brown

herodotus450

“Nice field you got her, Snydy.”

King Hippo

You don’t have to pay for water to hydrate painted asphalt (ppl forget that)

King Hippo

Should make those 6-7 carries CEH gets tonight extra valuable for my 2-8 squadron…

herodotus450

They’re due!
/puts 100000 on black

Redshirt

JR: “Good God, King! That 0/00’s music!”

blaxabbath

That’s because none of their opponents have suited up Emily Murphy and just asked her to roll herself halfway over.

Redshirt

Me: “I did it! I got everything on my Thanksgivings grocery list without getting anything unhealthy.”
Dairy Cooler (sing-song): “Oh, Redshirt! I got Egg Nog!”

25a.jpg (680×431) (kym-cdn.com)

Game Time Decision

And that stuff is *always* at the end of the Isle on full display. It’s like they know we are weak and will buy it if we see it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s about as lovely a fall day as one could possibly ask for in SoCal today. Seventy five degrees, bright and sunny, and our coronavirus numbers are only *barely* smashing the records we set over the summer.

blaxabbath

“WHY DOES OUR REAL ESTATE COST SO MUCH EVEN AS WE REFUSE TO PUT ENORMOUS FEES ON FOREIGN/VACATION/INVESTOR PROPERTY PURCHASES/OWNERSHIP THAT COULD FUND A PROGRAM TO SUPPORT OUR CITIZENRY FROM WORKING IN A LOCAL ECONOMY WHILE COMPETING FOR HOUSING WITH A GLOBAL MARKET?”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gronk, Andrews, or Hurst?

Spur

Andrews but you’re suppose to feel bad if you watch
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litre_cola

Beat me to it! Well done.

King Hippo

Rotowire has Andrews #3, Hurst #4. I am sitting Gronk for Henry in one league, don’t like the matchup.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, going against instincts and following the hippo

blaxabbath

G Ronk.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/advice submitted after kickoff

blaxabbath

You get what you pay for.

Spur

My complaining about moving Webex to Zoom made it all the way up to the Officers at work. Once the VP found out DoD couldn’t order easily, exceptions were made for DoD contacts.

My boss was very happy I put up a stink.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I understand the security stuff with zoom but webex sucks.

King Hippo

I just talk on the goddamned phone (and I don’t like even THAT)

Spur

comment image

Game Time Decision

Zoom has supposedly fixed the security issues

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Honestly, i never had actually seen the magic underwear. They’re disturbing, but seem comfy for covid times.

King Hippo

They was in that #OriginalFlavoUrAIDS HBO series. A second skin to protect us from the world.

Horatio Cornblower

So are we agreed on using the afternoon thread as the morning thread, and the morning thread as the afternoon thread? All in favoUr? Hey!…
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Game Time Decision

Block editor is a hoax, man.

blaxabbath

I’ve found you can use classic for about everything then just skip over to block to schedule. That’s how I am surviving.

Spur

Weight Loss Status
Net Loss of 3 pounds this week

Only joy this week was eating a jello cup with fruit. I almost went into hyperglycemia shock.

Am on vacation this week, so 2 a day workouts will be possible. Going to need it to offset Thanksgiving.

blaxabbath

Hit it hard.

Spur

-Ike Turner

litre_cola
  • R. Rice
litre_cola

Get after it!

Game Time Decision

Great work. Going to use you to try to motivate me to loss a few too

blaxabbath

It’s no THEPAULS but it’ll do.

Spur

Morning Folks

rockingdog

bock bock
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rockingdog

just noticed that this is the morning thread
good stuff

Game Time Decision

With Bridgewater out I’m starting something called “Alex Smith” today. Yikes

litre_cola

I think I have Robby Anderson/and or DJ Moore in every single damn league. Fuck.

Game Time Decision

I’m definitely at “start a warm body” time in a few leagues.

litre_cola

Uggh 3 of DJ Moore, Robby Anderson, Chase Claypool, Keenan Allen, Mike Evans. Some weird PPR league that Hippo roped me, Spam, and Scotchy in to.

King Hippo

oof, Claypool then anyone’s guess

King Hippo

Bridgewater inactive, so I’d avoid the Black Panther receivers now.

#FreeHuey