Your “Thursday Night NOT Football” Open Thread

Don T

Today is another Thursday that is the “Bad News” end to the “Some Day Night Football”* Covid rescheduling. I fail to find anything objectionable to four weeknights of fitbaw—which we will get in late December. Bad News Part 2: it includes a CIN @ PIT MNF on the 21st.

*Stolen from Sharkbait, if memory serves.

Hell, the prospect of consecutive Wild Card Triple Headers have cemented my reclusin’ ways until the Monday after Championship Weekend—the best sports day of the year. It’s the perfect time for the unattached, slothful lifestyle. Shoutout to Covid lockdowns for high-minded pretexts for hermiting.

The Life

NFL News

-WR Josh Gordon is “conditionally reinstated” to play for the C-Hox from Week 16 onward. He would be available for FF Championships, Opposite Day leagues.

-QB Joe Burrow had spaghetti knee surgery yesterday and the Bengals say “he is expected to make a complete recovery”.  The frame of reference is playing for Mike Brown’s team, so “complete recovery” includes PTSD.

-Profiles in Accountability: “I haven’t done a good job”, said Adam Gase aboOt Sam Darnolds’s development as QB. Leadership experts and tanking aficionados gushed at Gase’s candor, while others were more critical. “What a credit hog, PRINT THAT” said Randy, an Epstein-Barr virus.

Related: “Touch of Downs”—best  nickname ever? Best nickname ever.

/still giggling, hellbound

-Son of Profiles in Accountability:

Baby Buster agreed with OKC Bomber’s diss—i.e., “Our quarterback has to take better care of the football”, after the QB’s four turnovers in the loss to the Arizona 49ers.  Goff said he’s a big boy, coach wasn’t lying, and that he “can handle it”. The criticism, he meant, not the rock.

-Yesterday’s injuries:

ACL, owner, LB Bud Dupree (Stillers).

* –The Patriarchy, self-own, Cris Collinsworth (NBC). On yesterday’s broadcast, Mr. C said hewas “blown away” that ladies are NFL fans. His backtracking:

“Today on our broadcast I made reference to a couple of women that I met in Pittsburgh who so impressed me with their football knowledge that I wanted to tell their story on the air,” he said. “I know the way I phrased it insulted many. I’m so sorry.”

Testicular reasons impede my gauging the full extent of the insult, but the condescension is prettay, prettay evident. Smarm BAD, always.

Tonight’s Sprots:

Seemingly for Caribbean-based reasons, I type in La Compu and comes up. Normally, this is the kind of presumptuous imposition that boils my blood—HEY, if I wanted Espen Deportes I would’ve typed it dammit! But I’ve come to embrace this lil’ boondoggle, as the probability of a Stephen A. #kontent soiling my computer and NSA logs is decreased to CERO.

All times Central / DFO Time



College Fitbaw

Falcons (AF) @ Aggies (Utah Stet): 9:30 PM

Indentured Roundball (Lads)

Oof. Shitload of games (full slate here). Of general interest / fetish:

Tennessee Tech @ Northern KY: 6:00 PM – ESPN 3

Purdue Northwest @ Bowling Green: 7:00 PM – ESPN 3

UConn @ USC: 7:00 PM – ESPN

Washburn @ #7 Kansas: 8:00 PM – Big 12 / ESPN+

VMI @ #16 VA Tech: 8:00 PM – ACCN

Niagara @ The ‘Cuse: 8:00 PM – Illegal Stream (Northern Ontario)

Omaha @ Drake: 8:00 PM – ESPN 3

Florida @ BC: 9:30 PM – ESPN


NCAA Women’s B-Ball

#11 UK @ KSU – 7:30 PM Big 12 / ESPN+


MLS Syndrome

Sporting KC @ MN United FC – 8:30 PM


Secsi Mexi

Apertura 2020 Semis (1st Leg)

Cruz Azul @ Pumas – 10:00 PM

And finally,

BATTLEBOTS! – Discovery, 7:00 PM

Starts tonight!! Señor Weaselo got you covered: his season preview is here. Great read for both fans and the uninitiated alike. Fun Fact! The Battlebots trophy is the Giant Nut, which is not an award for bachelorhood.

Catcha later. I got a hawt date with some leftover fried chicken.

All gifs from

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Don T
Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This website doesn’t even put the YouTube thumbnails up anymore? Christ on a cracker, the Apollo astronauts were riding with lesser technology, and they got to the fucking moon.

Last edited 1 month ago by Brick Meathook

I legit had no idea what day it was all day. No bueno.


I had no idea until ten minutes ago that I am “on vacation” tomorrow.

It’s in quotes because I’ll still be taking calls and probably doing some work anyway.


I was skeptical about the drink known as Corn N’ Oil — basically 4 parts rum to 1 part falernum. But I was looking for a cocktail, and the bottle of falernum was flirting with me.

It is surprisingly good. Perhaps it shouldn’t be, as I used a respectable rum (Ron Zacapa 23 — probably won’t impress any experts but a step up from the Bacardi/Capt. stuff). But I have gone back for seconds.

The weekend is almost here….


I think I broke.


¡Cuatro a cero!

Recovery Whiskey

Minnesota beating Kansas City in MLS sets up The Seattle Sounders FC as the top seed remaining, so the road to MLS Cup 2020 goes through Seattle. So I’m pretty pleased. Probably the only one on this forum though.


I had a superb time going to a Sounders game. The atmosphere was close to Europe.

Recovery Whiskey

We Do Our Part

Soccer games lasting 2 hrs leaves more time for bar drinking on a typical gameday. People forget this.

Last edited 1 month ago by Recovery Whiskey

Just be sure to keep safe search ON when researching sounders and sounding.


Why spoil the fun. Go wild. Live a little. Safe search off.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Work laptop, for one.


How friendly are you with the IT team?

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s a big group that services the entire Air Force Installation and Mission Support Command (couple thousand personnel); some of them are cool, and some are dicks, so it’s just a matter of who picks up the phone at the helpdesk. Not worth the gamble.

Viva La Tabula Raza

What is “MLS”? Some kind of mutation of Multiple Sclerosis?

—Standard issue American

Last edited 1 month ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Recovery Whiskey

Its what all us elitist coastal cities do when we’re not filling up twitter with purity testing


Uhhh Spam, Pumas is down 3-0 in the first 12 minutes.

Mexico Twitter is reacting well.


Muy malo. (That means FUCK DAMMIT)

Recovery Whiskey

Do these rubes not remember Garo Yepremian or Jan Stenerud

Viva La Tabula Raza

European record is not same as Asian record, apparently.


If the Pumas give up a gol in the 2nd minute, is that a good sign?


If you fancy Blue Cruise it is!

/wife comes out and I am watching the game in Spanish. Shakes her head, gives me the cookies she made and walks away as I do not speak the language.

Game Time Decision

What kinda cookies tonight?


Molasses, and she is making lemon bars as well. She makes care packages for people where she works. I am the guinea pig.

Game Time Decision

I can help with the tasting


I got 2 of the molasses and was instructed that I get no more. Lemon bars have to set overnight. That’s bullshit.


That reminds me, I need to tell Mrs. Sharkbait to make a batch of her molasses cookies this weekend.


Are you going to give us the recipe for the potato chip butterscotch ones or are we gonna hafta GET ROUGH? !!!


I will get it and post it.


So why can’t I watch my (sure, let’s say that) Pumas on the TV? Is it racism?

Also, Utah State plays at Merlin Olsen field, which is nice, especially if he’s buried there.


I am going to get an illegal stream as I can nae get it either.


Is an “illegal stream” that thing where you piss on a comatose nun?


The forgotten, fourth, Olsen sibling.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

From a job perspective, I have gotten a sliver of hope today. Is that good or bad.


Good. Very good.

Unless the job is cursed. Then that’s bad.


This finish is ridiculous.
I am always amazed of how high school football crazy you folk are. The gear these kids have is better than the CFL


comment image


Not one mention of the self-imposed celibacy despite the plethora of opportunities/requests?
comment image


She can judge anything she wants for me.


If I had a nickel for every time I heard, “Why is your penis so gross?”

To be fair, she was speaking German…

Viva La Tabula Raza

Dang, dude, you got one that hangs to your knees?

Senor Weaselo

Well, Fusion did impress me, so I’ll give it that.


Indentured Roundball

You just don’t get more progressive than the Hispanic writers here at [DFO].

Brick Meathook

About a month ago I spoke on the telephone with Don T from California to Puerto Rico. I presume he’s an attorney but he still seemed like a pretty cool guy.


Cool. What’s a telephone?


Well it’s not quite a telegraph, and not quite a dictaphone… so to answer your question, I don’t know.


comment image


I am very much looking forward to Blue Cruise v Pumas tonight.

Wife is back in the cookie lab. Molasses cookies and lemon bars.


Maria Bamford-“I’ll be making cross-hatch patterns on my wrist using a curling iron”.


I’m a huge fan of “standup” comedy. Loved Patton Oswalt and David Cross back in the day. Thought they did some amazing shit. And then they had kids with their partners. The former’s last special featured a bit revolving around his extraordinarily expensive wedding. He didn’t say that outright but it’s a given when you listen.


Got Netflix? I highly recommend james acaster repertoire