2020 Quotables – Week 15 (Submissions)

Dear DTZM,

I owe you (1) word count.

Love,

Sebastian Blax

PS – Below are your Week 15 Quotables submissions.


“Game respect game.” -J. Namath

That chick is a solid 9 and all I can focus on is that dude’s ears. Look at his ears!

Is this also a Fortnite thing?

I’ll be ok with Donald Trump stiffing this guy.

In Thielen’s defense, that is exactly where Kirk Cousin placed this 4th down pass.

“The only deadline that matters is January 20th.”

I like that they made the guy film this for her use later.

No one respects Jacksonville. Or the Jaguars.

 

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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I haven’t seen someone miss a header so completely since…[little help, Hippo?]

Unsurprised

Jayne Mansfield

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“…and then Hillary used acid to wash the servers, which is why COVID was able to commit election fraud…”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“Ha ha ha, dork.” – Eli Manning, drinking out of a big boy cup

ArmedandHammered

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This would be a great example of Newtonian physics that can be used to help student athletes relate better to science. Or at least the students taking the courses for the athletes.

ArmedandHammered

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And now for your enjoyment, the River of Gravy Dancers.

Senor Weaselo

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“Wooo, I’m Pacman Jones!”

SonOfSpam

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“Also, Jim, I just wanted to congratulate you for getting Clemson and Ohio State to play in your head. Because you look like a Sugar Bowl. And, no, I’m not at all upset that I had to blow four different old men to get this gig, while you waltz in here looking like the retarded offspring of Alfred E. Neuman and Dumbo.”

Don T

Textbook Wharton Defense, all business decisions.
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ballsofsteelandfury

That should be a banner. Damn, that’s good.

Don T

-Where are the Estefans?
-I told them we signed David DeCastro
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Last edited 3 years ago by Don T
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Can’t beat drinking if they won’t let you beat women anymore.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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WHOSE HOUSE IS THIS?

UNCLEAR, OUR HOUSE? POSSIBLY THE GIANTS’ OR JIMMY HOFFA’S?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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The ladies love having something to hold onto

ArmedandHammered

I bet they use those ears like the handles on a handheld buffer, to polish their pearl as long as possible.

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Classic 2020 failing to kill these guys

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“THE BEN DIDN’T SAY THE HARD R”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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If I saw that many fat humps dancing around, I’d surrender, too

nomonkeyfun

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You gotta sneak your Carolina BBQ sauce in KC if you don’t want to awaken the…

Oh God, it’s alive.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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The Blind Side 2: Without the Annoying White Lady in the Way, I’m Taking It To The House

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Let he who is without sin cast the first fatty

Viva La Tabula Raza

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“Coaching staff don’t even notice these Five Hour Energy drinks if’n you strip off the labels!”

Game Time Decision

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VAR has confirmed that the ball boy dove, he will receive a red card and has been ejected from the match
-Ref

Game Time Decision

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Lying down and drinking on the job is nawt the image the shield wants to show

Game Time Decision

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Before Derrick Henry loses the off-season weight

Duchess

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And down goes next weeks starting QB for the Bears.

Duchess

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So you’re saying if I die in a helicopter crash then people will forget I’ve been accused of rape numerous times? Tight.

Last edited 3 years ago by Duchess
TheRevanchist

There is this hippy place that makes smoothies and everyone is “FANTASTIC! Thank you for ASKING!” that my wife likes. All new age herbal crap and shit. Then they have a poster of Kolorado Kobe on the wall.

I hate those people so much.

Duchess

The criminal case was tossed because she refused to testify because she was doxxed and getting death threats. She only perused a civil case afterward. To which Kobe settled super fast for less than he spent on his future wife engagement ring.

Duchess

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Focus on the ears and you miss the real message here. Their blinks just said MF. Now count the ears and eyes you get 6. 4 on the guy 2 on the girl… But she’s talking add 0.

Jan. 6th at 4:20 Trump will announce Military Force…Q is the way.

Last edited 3 years ago by Duchess
Dunstan

The guy on the left is JFK, Jr. The ears are a result of the cosmetic surgery.

Duchess

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Legend says if E. Rutherford Luvu sees his shadow then the Jets have a 33% chance of winning the game.

Unsurprised

Fat guy rushing is #4 on the list of best things in football behind #3 any fat guy touchdown, #2 fat guy interceptions, and #1 fat guy pick-six.

Last edited 3 years ago by Unsurprised
nomonkeyfun

“So that’s why everyone laughed when I played.”

-J. Lorenzen

Bloody Lethal

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Whatever she’s saying is going in one ear and…. yeah we lost it.

Game Time Decision

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You deleted all the videos, right?

Unsurprised

I kept thinking about this all morning or last night or whatever for like a fucking hour that Big Ben isn’t in prison because his bodyguards are off-duty cops who intimidated his victims and I fucking hate fucking cops so fucking much.

Game Time Decision

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It must be awkward having a restraining order against a coworker

Unsurprised

You try and resist the urge to pull on those things.

Duchess

That’s what she said

Bloody Lethal

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“I thought the expression was throw in the towel BOY. Ohhhh. Ok just the towel? Well whatever I quit.”